De La Vie D'Artiste
by rhpsfaerie
Summary: Bella Swan is a novelist who can't find her words. Edward Cullen is a composer who can't hear his notes. When they meet, will it be lust at first sight or true love? And will the inspiration come? AH. Rated M for language, sexual content, & adult themes.
1. Chapter 1: To a Stranger

There are a few people to thank for their help in the creation and publishing of this story. First, thanks to A. for being the bestest friend ever. She has edited like a madwoman and helped in the brain-storming process. Next, thanks to R. for being the best boyfriend ever. He's read this over for me countless times even though he detests _Twilight_, and he's kept me laughing for days with his Andy Bellefleur impersonation.

Lastly, thanks to my beta, Starrynytex, who is awesome and believes in me. Her story, _The Boy in the Red Sweater_, is in the finals for the Indie Twific Awards, and her Edward rocks my socks by making me grateful for my own nerd boyfriend with adorable glasses.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Stephenie Meyer does. I only own a nifty Dell laptop, a 2005 Nissan Altima, and ridiculous amounts of music I bought off of iTunes.

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**B POV**

_A man takes my hand and leads me to a room. I can't see his face because the lighting is too dim, but I know that he is a stranger. After we walk through the door, he asks, "Do you trust me?" kisses the hand he is holding, and leads me to the edge of a large, dark hole. I cannot see the bottom of the abyss, and I am scared. He repeats his question, then drops my hand. He removes all of his clothing and stands before me, letting me gaze upon the lean muscles of his legs and strong muscles of his shoulders and stomach. He repeats his question, his voice sounding both more desperate and more seductive. He quickly grabs my hand, whispers into my ear "Here we go," and pulls me down the abyss with him. We are suddenly on the street where I live, and this man is lying on the ground, covered in blood from a gaping wound in his side. I scream for help, but no one comes. He smiles at me and whispers, "My angel,", and moves his hand up, pointing at my torso. I look down at myself and see that I have a matching wound._

Every time I have that dream, I wake up in a cold sweat and screaming. My roommate and brother, Emmett, used to come in and check on me, but now he just stays in his room and waits for me to come to him. I haven't gone to his room in three days now, but that's because I haven't slept enough to have the dream.

_This is going to wreak havoc on my creative flow_, I thought. _If I can't sleep, how am I going to finish my third novel?_

At that moment, my door opened and a tiny blur of black hair and pale skin jumped into my bed with me. Alice, my best friend since the age of five, and my other roommate, had decided it was time to wake me up. She obviously didn't know that I'd only gotten two hours of sleep the night before.

"Damn, Bella, you look like shit. Don't you sleep anymore?" she asked as she crawled under my purple comforter with me. It was definitely a plus to have her sleeping in the bedroom next to mine. Alice has always picked up my slack and driven me to succeed, from cookie selling in Brownies at age seven to making sure I wrote at least five pages a day now at age twenty-one. She was my most motivating force, but officially she was my personal assistant. On the side, she paints, sculpts, and dances.

"Not for the past three days, no. I can't seem to shake this dream," I replied. She nodded sympathetically as she cuddled in next to me. After a few minutes, I scrambled out of my bed and headed to the closet, hoping that I had a clean pair of jeans and a sweatshirt to hide in. I selected a dark denim pair with holes in the knees and frayed edges at the bottom. I didn't have a clean sweatshirt, so I chose a long-sleeved black shirt with a V-neck and roses embroidered on the hem and up and down the sleeves. Alice had bought this shirt for me, as she had almost all of my clothes, stating that a writer had to look either a little Bohemian or a little scary to be taken seriously.

_Ugh, _I thought. _I have to get some writing done today, or my editor will kill me for letting it fall so behind. _I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair and to put on make-up as Alice rambled on about the guy she'd been dating for about three months.

"Jasper and I had the most romantic dinner last night. He cooked me this wonderful parmesan risotto, and the salad had the most divine dressing! I love a man who can cook," she said as she sat down at my desk chair, twirling in a circle and giggling to herself.

"Uh-huh," I mumbled back around my tooth brush. Alice had already told me this twice: once directly when she got home, and again just before she went to sleep.

"And even though he's a corporate clone, he's so creative. On Saturday he and a couple of friends are playing a show at Yorkie's. The music is decent enough, even for the standards of a crazed music elitist like yourself. I want you to go with me this time, is that ok?" she asked.

"Uh-huh," I mumbled as I pulled a snarled ball of tangle out my hair with my hairbrush. I was getting kind of sick of hearing all about Jasper. Sure, he was a nice enough guy; he always had an encouraging word, a new joke, funny story, or a good weed connection. Still, I didn't need to hear his name five hundred times a day. Of course, I could always weasel out of going to the show by stating inspiration had struck. _But she'd know you were lying; she always knows. _Oh, shut up, internal commentary.

"And the best part about him is he has an extra dick! I love the feel of both of them at once!"

"Uh-huh….wait, what?" I choked out as I drew a black line of eyeliner down my cheek.

"Just making sure you were listening. You're off in never-never land, sweetie," she giggled as she hopped off the chair and stood next to me, staring at our reflections in the mirror. Even at six AM Alice looked perfectly put-together, and I looked….dead. "Are you sure you're okay, B? Maybe we should take the day off and go shopping. I'll even let you buy some of that mixed up mess of cheesecake and seventy other flavors from Marble Slab that you love so much."

"Thanks, Al, but I'm already behind twenty pages. I'm just really tired. I may have to go over to Jacob's and grab some of that awesome herbal tea. And some stronger pot." I hugged her with one arm, and then moved out of my bathroom to my desk to turn on my computer as I finished putting on mascara.

"Jasper says that his buddy slash new roomie gives these amazing massages. He said that it felt like all of the tension just melted away," she said, sitting in lotus position on my bed and stretching her arms straight up into the air.

"Yeah, and is the friend female?" I teased as the password screen lit up. I typed in my password, and watched my desktop picture pop up as the rest of the start menu loaded. My desktop picture was the cover of my first book, a golden scene of clouds and sky and sparrows floating across. I felt like it was mocking me for not having the inspiration for the third.

"No, actually, it's a guy he knows from the New York corporate scene. His name is Edward, and he's, like, Jasper's best friend in the whole world. Oh, and guess what Edward's doing out here on the West Coast?" she asked as she stood up and did one of the tree poses from the yoga class we go to. I'd always been jealous of Alice's grace, and balance. My eyes flitted to my knee, which I knew was bruised from tripping over a shoe yesterday, before staring back up at the desk top picture. _Stop mocking me, you stupid fucking birds._

"Escaping the hustle and bustle of one metropolis for the smog and pollution of another?" I asked, hoping Alice had taken my silence for thought on a witty reply.

"No, he's taking a sabbatical from the money-hungry yuppie life to work on composing."

"Real music or commercialized packaged feces for the masses?" I asked as I opened up the file for the newest chapter. Unfortunately, it had only one sentence written on it: _I suck I suck I suck. _I began to twirl in my chair as Alice had done earlier, trying to erase the sentence from my head.

"Oh, you are snarky this morning! Real music, like classical piano sonatas and choral masterpieces and whatever the fuck else classical people compose nowadays. He was apparently a child piano prodigy, supposedly even better than Mozart. He even went to Julliard. I don't know how he ended up in corporate land, but now he's slumming it with us bohos." Alice bent down at her waist to touch the floor as she stretched her body into an inverted V.

"Why this outpouring of information? I've never even met the guy, and I'm not sure I want to, since he associates with Jasper and all, " I teased as I looked back at my blank computer screen. _I suck I suck I suck_. Right now I fucking hate my job. Back to twirling.

"Shut it, biotch!" Alice winked at me. "You know you like Jasper. And you should care, because Edward's super nice, and sensitive, and talented, and he doesn't know anyone around here except for me and Jazz. Please try to be his friend? And yes, I realize I'm being too forward and I'm meddling in the lives of others."

"Oh, like that hasn't stopped you before."

"True." She giggled to herself. "But you'll at least have a lot to talk about because of the music and writing thing. Artist types always get along, look at us!"

"And he also gives great massages, apparently. I wonder if he's professionally trained. Maybe he'll give me a happy ending?" I joked as I reached over and tickled Alice's side. She collapsed and rolled onto her back, giggling and pulling my arm so she could reach me to try to tickle me, to no avail.

After the attempted tickle, Alice responded, "Who knows? I know all of my massages from Jasper end in a happy ending." We looked at each other for a moment, then burst into giggles. I rolled out of my chair to join Alice on the floor.

"Oh, tell me more, Alice. I'm dying to hear details," said Emmett, who was leaning on the doorway. My big, burly bear of a brother winked at us, and then motioned to my computer. "Getting started already?"

I got up off of the floor and walked back to my computer chair. "I'm trying to, but this little pesky pixie keeps distracting me. Granted, I have no inspiration, or drive, so who knows?" I replied, hoping that he got the gist and would call my publisher to beg for an extension. Emmett was my agent and financial manager, partly because he was one of three people I could trust not to fuck me over, and partly because he was so attuned to my needs that he knew exactly how to get me what I wanted from my publisher.

"I'll put in a call to Angela and see what we can do. Maybe we should go on vacation soon? A change of pace might be what you need," he said as he walked out of the doorway into the living room.

"So, anyway, Edward's going to be at Yorkie's, too. He's singing with Jazz. Please tell me you'll at least _try _to talk to him?" Alice begged as she got to her feet.

"Fine. This better not turn into a repeat of the Newton situation. Remember how you told me to be nice and he practically stalked me for a month?" I asked as I stood back up and sat back down into my computer chair, putting my feet on my desk.

"It won't, Edward's not like that," Alice reassured. "You know, some breakfast might get the muses going. I'll go make pancakes!" said Alice, skipping out the door of my room and closing it behind her.

"Or maybe I just need some fucking sleep," I mumbled to myself as I stared at the blank word processor screen in front of me.

_I suck I suck I suck_. Oh, computer, you have no idea_. _After a minute, I followed Alice into the kitchen, knowing that trying to write today would be futile.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

I woke up at five AM, after going to sleep at two. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep, so I decided to try to work on this damn composition. After three hours of thinking and hearing the music in my head, all I had to show for it was a C minor chord. _Some musical genius you are, Cullen, _I thought to myself. _It took you three hours to write one of the most basic chords there is. At least it wasn't an A minor chord. _I just needed to write something of substance to break this dry spell. I haven't composed anything real for almost five years. Hell, I haven't even played the piano in five years.

"No wonder I suck so much," I said to no one.

Then the inspiration hit me. I typed in a title for my C minor chord into the composition software: _I Suck I Suck I Suck_ by Edward Anthony Cullen. Oh, yeah, this astonishing work will get as many awards as the mezzo-soprano art song set I wrote for…..anyway.

"Ok, it's not good for you to sit at a computer for three hours straight. If you're going to do that, you might as well do something constructive, like play World of Warcraft or something. I'm sure there's a guild needing a bard or some shit," said my closest friend and new roommate, Jasper Whitlock. I had met Jasper when I was a sixteen-year-old wunderkind studying piano performance and composition at Juilliard's Pre-College Division classes. Jasper was a normal kid who found me sitting in Central Park writing compositions in my notebooks and looking like a thrift store vomited on me. He was my first real friend, since when you're in Juilliard on the weekends you just don't have time for socializing.

"Is that what you do in the big fancy office of yours? And here I thought you actually did your job well. I guess I have to call up Alice and tell her that her boyfriend's a giant nerd who actually knows shit about role-playing games. By the way, World of Warcraft doesn't have a bard class," I said as I turned my computer chair around to look at him.

"It's pitiful that you know that. And this from a guy who's been awake for God knows how long writing masterful compositions or whatever. So, did the muse come back?" he asked as he bit into an apple he had in his hand.

"Yeah, well, apparently I'm still battling my writer's block, as evidenced by the single solitary chord written on this screen. So I have no idea what to do with the rest of my day. Hey, aren't you supposed to be at work or something?" I asked him as I stretched backward over my chair.

"Nah, I decided to take the day off. Alice isn't doing anything today, so we might go get lunch or something. She mentioned something about going to a shop that sold all kinds of clothes from different eras, and the owner used to be an actress in these indie movies from the 80's and early 90's. We'll see where the day takes us," he said with a goofy grin on his face. Alice was a really sweet girl, although a little too energetic and enthusiastic for me at times. Despite the ADHD tendencies, Jasper was completely head over heels for this girl, so I figured she must be a good egg. He's a good judge of character.

"I hope she doesn't spend all your money. I've heard tales of the destruction Alice Brandon can cause in a clothing store. In fact, didn't you tell me last week about…"

"Oh, there's Alice now," he interrupted as he took out his cell phone. He wandered out of my room and into the living room, saying, "Hey, babe, what's up?"

I turned my attention back to the measly little chord on my computer screen. _You need a new voice to write for, dude, _I thought to myself. _Someone vibrant and full of dark overtones and dramatic flair. Someone completely different from the harpy who sang sweetly in your ear and cost you your music. If only you could just write the music for yourself like you did when you were a kid. Fucking Tanya._

Jasper came back into the room and sighed. "Well, looks like it's you and me, buddy. Alice is doing damage control for her BFF. Apparently you're not the only one with writer's block."

"Which friend are you talking about again?" I asked. I don't remember Jasper mentioning a friend of Alice's who wrote or composed or something similar. Although I hadn't really been listening too much to what others have said around me since I moved to Los Angeles. I've been in my own depressed artist fog, trying to break through and be great again. _You'll never get it back since you walked away. _Shut it, conscience.

"Have I not told you about the magnificence that is Bella Swan? She's a published best-seller at nineteen, working on her third novel. She has this amazing house in Laurel Canyon that she lives in with her brother and Alice. She's hot, she's smart as a whip, and she knows almost as much about music as you do. She's like the female you….minus the piano and Mozart comparisons, and adding in the most popular pieces of fiction since those vampire books that came out a few years ago."

"Huh," I pondered as I stood up from my chair. "Have you read her books?"

"Of course! Alice said I wouldn't get a second date until I read _Wings on the Summer Wind_. The girl is fucking devoted to Bella, and if I wanted her, I had to read. Granted, it's like a teenager love fest, but it's a decent enough story. And the second book, _Emerald Azure Ruby, _was about fairies and witches and shit like that. I never read it. I'm hoping that her next book has more of a bite to it, though. Well, if she ever gets it finished. Oh, and you'll get to meet her on Saturday, because Alice is bringing her to see us at Yorkie's."

"Jazz, you know I'm not dating right now. Don't try to set me up," I said, walking past Jasper, through the living room, and into the kitchen.

"I'm not trying to set you up, man, I'm just trying to get you laid," responded Jasper as he followed me, nudging my arm as he walked past me. "Something or _someone_ needs to help you forget Tanya. She was a bitch, and she used you to get ahead in her career. It happens. But you have to move on sometime. It's been five fucking years. And Bella is smokin'….the complete physical opposite of Tanya, so you won't have anything embarrassing happen like calling out the wrong name."

"I don't know. I'll have to meet the girl." Jasper grinned at me with a look in his eye that said he was plotting something. "I'm not committing to anything, mind you. I just said I'd talk to the girl."

"Whatever you say, E. Now go get dressed. Looks like you're my date for the day," he chuckled as he walked out of the kitchen.

As I made myself an omelet for breakfast, I thought about what Jasper had said. _Maybe you do need a good lay to forget about Tanya. You haven't dated in who knows how long. Maybe a new girl will give you a new perspective on the composing thing_.

"Yeah, right," I said to myself. "What you need is some sleep."

(*)(*)(*)(*)

Saturday. Fucking Saturday.

Jasper loaded all of the equipment into his gas-guzzling SUV as I finalized the set list for the night. I made sure to arrange it to have a variety of different types of music so that it reflected more of my personal tastes. I was fortunate that Jasper and the rest of the guys in the band - Tyler, Ben, and the bar's owner, Eric - had similar tastes. They'd already learned the music I had chosen for the night for previous shows.

As we got closer to the bar, my heart rate started increasing to an alarming rate. I knew that I would start panicking about being on a stage again when I told Jasper I'd sing with the band of misfits that he plays with. I didn't expect it to be debilitating. Maybe it was debilitating because four days had passed and I hadn't written anything.

We stepped into the bar, and I looked around and saw…. _people_. Lots and lots of people, and I didn't know a single one. I started to count my blessings that I could at least hide behind the piano. _Except you haven't played in public for five years, you ridiculous, fucking idiot. _I swallowed thickly, hoping I wasn't sweating through the blue silk button down Jasper had made me wear. I am so fucked.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

Next thing I knew, it was Saturday. I still hadn't slept more than three hours a night, and this morning I had the dream again. I was not in a great mood, and Alice still insisted I come along. I agreed, but only if I was allowed to pick my outfit. I wasn't going to dare step outside of the house feeling like death warmed over if I had to wear an Alice concoction. I mean, tonight she was wearing fairy wings. I wasn't having that. I opted for jeans that were slung low on the hip and a men's black tank top. I did relent and let Alice do my eye make-up in dazzling, glittery shades of dark blues and black.

Then we stepped into the bar. I looked around us, noticing that there were a lot of people. More people than I thought there would be for a band that just played cover songs. _Great, just fucking great. I feel like shit, and I have to be in a fucking crowd. I am so fucked._

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**E POV**

Jasper patted my shoulder and said, "Alice is over there! Come on!"

I followed, trying not to bump into anyone as we walked through the crowd. I looked in the direction we were headed and saw Alice. She was wearing a simple black dress, pink glittery stockings, and fairy wings. Her face was covered in glitter. The girl knew how to grab attention, I'll give her that.

We finally reached her, and she said loudly over the noise, "Bella went to the bar to grab some drinks for the two of us. She'll be back in a minute." Then she grabbed Jasper and basically shoved her tongue down his throat. Thanks, Jazz, really appreciate being left to my own devices here. I wondered to myself if Alice was drunk already, or if she just missed Jasper that much. I just hoped Alice's friend would get over here soon so I wouldn't feel so….alone.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV **

I finally got the drinks - a cherry vodka sour for me and a tequila sunrise for Alice - and looked around the room. I spotted Alice and Jasper making out near the stage. _Great, now I get to try and make conversation with a complete stranger. As if I weren't already awkward enough with the clumsiness._ I walked over to them, stumbled once after tripping on the shoe of a rather tall man wearing copious amounts of leather, and was about three feet away when I noticed Jasper's male companion shifting anxiously from foot to foot as he stared at the ground.

Hot damn, this man was _gorgeous_. Tall and thin and lean and scrumptious. His face was all perfect cheekbones and a perfectly angled jaw. His lips…. my God, those lips…. were full and soft-looking. His hair was an interesting reddish-brown color that reminded me of bronze, and it was sticking out all over the place like it hadn't been combed in days.

Then he looked up, and his eyes about killed me. Green. Fucking _green _eyes, and Alice knew that green eyes were my weakness. I felt my body getting warm and tingly all over. Of course Jasper's friend was pure sex in blue silk, it was just my luck for things to work out this way. I'd never felt such…. _lust….._ before, especially for a man that I had never even talked to before. I normally needed to know a man had a brain before I entertained the idea of wild monkey sex.

Then I realized I'd been staring for a while. Oops. I decided to walk over to the group with steely resolve not to jump Hottie McHottie's bones.

"Alice! Tequila!" I shouted at her, startling her out of her Jasper-induced fog. She squealed and took her drink from me as my eyes stayed focused on Mr. Sex Hair.

Jasper cleared his throat. "So, Bella, this here is my friend, Edward Cullen. Edward, this here is Alice's friend, Bella Swan." I smiled at the beautiful man and tried to keep my already crumbling composure. I had a feeling this wasn't going to end well for any part of me except my libido.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV **

Jasper was talking, but I didn't really hear what he was saying. I was too busy staring at the stunningly beautiful girl in front of me. She was so _small_….kind of short, and rather thin and waif-ish. Her hair was a rich, lustrous tangle of brown curls, and her eyes were a deep brown that had this glowing fire about them. The glittery dark make-up around them intensified the way they shined at me. Her lips were a perfect Cupid's bow, and I found myself wondering if they were as soft as they looked. I'd never been so physically drawn to a person before…..it was like a Bella magnet had a hold of my cock. _Hold on, Cullen, gotta focus on talking now._

"Edward Cullen? Like the composer of _La fille avec les yeux brillants_? Are you that Edward Cullen?" she asked, eyes smoldering, and I immediately tensed up. Of course this diminutive beautiful girl knew Tanya's song cycle.

I paused before replying, "Yeah, I composed that. I take it you're familiar with the piece?" I swallowed, feeling nervous and a little angry at the mention of that particular work. It was the last piece I wrote for Tanya, and my crowning achievement, forever tainted now by her memory.

"I sang it in my senior year in high school for a competition. I always loved singing, I was in choir in high school and during college, but quickly realized I was better at the writing thing." She smiled at me, and her eyes burned brighter. Such passionate eyes. They stared into mine, almost as if she knew I was drowning in them.

"And how long ago was that? I wrote that like six years ago." I smiled back at her, starting to relax. She had a sweet smile and fiery eyes, and because of them I had this feeling like I could talk to her for hours about everything and never be bored. But hey, it'd be nice to have another friend around here besides Jasper, even if I wanted to take this "friend" to the bathroom and bend her over the sink.

"About four years ago. But I have a recording of it done by Cecilia Bartoli, and I listen to it all the time. It's a really wonderful piece, you should be proud of it." She moved her hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, almost as if she were nervous about something. Those eyes darted across the room , glancing in Alice's direction for a moment before settling back on me again. I was too busy wondering what other music she listened to, since she'd already shown great taste in operatic mezzo-sopranos.

Instead, I answered, "I guess. Jasper told me you were an author. I've never read your books, I'm sorry." I ran my fingers through my hair, hoping that she wouldn't catch on that I was still staring at her. I saw a small strip of a black lace bra strap peeking out from under her tank top. _Lord help me, black fucking lace._

"It's okay, you're not part of the target demographic. When Alice told me Jasper had read _Wings on the Summer Wind_, I questioned his sexuality for a while." She winked at me, and her smile turned into a full-on grin. Fuck, she was dazzling me and had no idea.

"Yeah, well, I still continue to question it. Did you know he waxes his eyebrows?" I winked at her and swore I saw her breath hitch before she laughed. Such a sensual, throaty laugh.

"Hey, now," Jasper interjected, "Alice can attest to my preferences for the female form. Anyway, E, we need to get up to the stage," said Jasper.

Gulp.

I gave a weak smile to Bella, nodded my head to Alice, and said goodbye to both. Jasper gave Alice a quick peck on the cheek and led the way to the stage and my imminent doom. Hopefully I wouldn't embarrass myself _too_ much.

* * *

**A/N:** A few notes...

The title of the chapter comes from the poem "To A Stranger" by Walt Whitman.

_La fille avec les yeux brilliants_ means "the girl with the brilliant eyes" in French. It is not a real composition.

Cecilia Bartoli is a wonderful operatic mezzo-soprano. Look up one of her many performances on youtube or iTunes. I suggest "Voi che sapete" from _The Marriage of Figaro._

Reviews are as exciting and appreciated as black lace.


	2. Chapter 2: The Wanting Comes in Waves

Here is the next chapter! I am so amazed at the response I've received so far. It's incredibly humbling.

Thanks as always to A. (who will now be referred to as faeriemelie, as per her request) and her enthusiasm for my story, R. for his enthusiasm for me (I couldn't ask for a better, more understanding boyfriend), and to Starrynytex for recommending my story in an A/N on _The Boy in the Red Sweater._ If you haven't checked that one out, go do it! I want to cuddle her Edward and feed him cookies.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, S. Meyer does. I do, however, think the same types of internal thoughts, and I like the same music ;)

* * *

**B POV**

"So, what do you think?" Alice asked me as the guys went to the stage.

"I think he's really, really ridiculously good-looking," I responded as she grabbed my hand and led me to a table near the front of the stage. I definitely needed to sit down.

"I can't tell if you're joking or being serious, Bella. Especially since you're quoting _Zoolander. _Just tell me!" Alice playfully punched my arm as we sat down on the tall stools.

"Ok, Al, did you see those eyes? You could have warned me that he was unadulterated sex on a stick. Granted, you were right, he seemed pretty nice. We'll see what happens." Especially if I got my way and threw him on the floor to mount him here in the middle of the crowded bar.

"I'm sorry about the crowd. I didn't realize that Jazz and the guys were getting so popular. I mean, it's not like they play original music." Alice's eyes darted around the room, looking for the object of her affection. When she spotted him in the wings of the stage tuning his guitar, she smiled and waved. Alice looked so content, and I was happy she had found someone she cared about as much as she did for Jasper.

I downed about half of my drink, noting that it was kind of strong for my taste. "What name are they going by now?"

"I think tonight they are going by 'Black and Blue.' They can't come up with a name everyone likes, so they change it every time they play."

We sat in silence for a while, swaying to the music playing from the DJ's booth and drinking our alcohol. I was starting to get annoyed by all of the people bumping into me, and I had a migraine starting up. Sure, I wanted to get little up close and personal with Edward-of-the-jade-green-eyes after he had knocked my auditory socks off (or, at least, I presumed he would), but I was really starting to feel my exhaustion creeping into my bones.

"Hey, Alice? I think I might go home," I said to my friend as I hopped down from the stool, using the table to help me keep my balance. I wasn't going to risk tripping on my own feet in front of so many people.

"What? I thought you said Edward was nice! Please don't go," she pleaded, her golden brown eyes taking on qualities seen in dachshund puppies.

"It's not him. I'm just not feeling too well. I'm going to go home and try to get some rest. I'll call you when I get home, okay?"

I started to make my way to the door. I was almost there when I heard Jasper say into the microphone, "Hi, there. My name is Jasper Whitlock, and we are Black and Blue. Before we start, I'd just like to welcome my buddy Edward Cullen back to the stage for the first time in forever. He's a little nervous, so give him a round of applause!"

I turned around to get one last glimpse of Edward. I couldn't really see him all that well because he was sitting at a piano. Sigh. I figured I'd see him another time, though, since his best friend was dating mine.

The music started up as I tried to scoot past a couple simulating sex acts. I didn't recognize the song; it was a bit mellow for my usual taste. I was trying to decide whether or not I liked it when my hand hit the door handle.

And then I heard the voice.

The voice was singing a melodic line that froze me in my place. He could have been singing the phone book and I still would have been enthralled. The voice sounded like three parts Maynard Keenan's velvet, fluid lyricism, one part Brandon Boyd's passionate croon, and a dash of Trent Reznor's sexy, soft growl. I was mesmerized, and I had to get back to Alice so I could see where the voice was coming from. I knew Jasper had never sounded like that before, so it had to be someone else in the group.

"Welcome back!" greeted Alice as I sat back down next to her. "I knew you wouldn't leave. How could you when the greatest musical mind in the past twenty-five years is on the stage?"

"Can you get me another drink?" I asked, eyes glued to the stage.

I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings after Alice got up to get me another drink. I was trying to figure out which performer was singing with that exquisite voice. I could see all of the performers from the table, and my eyes searched each of them to figure out who was singing. When my eyes hit Edward's luscious lips, I realized they were moving. _Holy fuck, it's him_. _The voice is his and I can feeling my panties dropping now._

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

I walked onto the stage, feeling the sweat drip from my brow and down my face. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack or pass out or die or something. My eyes focused on the piano as I sat on the bench and adjusted the distance between it and the piano. My mind was on the lovely woman I had just finished speaking to. I wondered how easy it would be to get her back to my place for a drink and some fun and games. I knew I definitely needed something strong right now.

"Hi, there. My name is Jasper Whitlock, and we are Black and Blue. Before we start, I'd just like to welcome my buddy Edward Cullen back to the stage for the first time in a long time. He's a little nervous, so give him a round of applause!"

_Thanks, Jasper. I really appreciate the fact that you've told the __**entire room **__about my vulnerability. That'll make Bella Swan want to go home with me later. _I was immediately grateful that Jasper's group only played cover songs. If I'd been asked to play one of my own compositions, I wouldn't have been able to do it. I was way too anxious for my own good.

I noticed Jasper nod to me, silently asking if I was ready. I took a deep breath, gave him an apprehensive smile, and nodded back.

Our first song was "The Hazards Of Love 1" by The Decemberists. I sang kind of softly at first, timid and afraid of the eyes that I knew were on me. There isn't any piano in the original song, but I decided to just add chords every two beats so I could hide behind the large instrument in my comfort bubble. About halfway through the song, as I became more comfortable on the stage and with the large crowd below me, I searched for Bella in the crowd.

The look on her face said it all. She was _into_ me. Or at least, she was into the music I was playing. I held her eyes with mine and gave her a half smile. She smiled back, and her little pink tongue licked its way across her lips. Holy sexual tension, Batman, did I want to jump off of that stage and kiss those lips. And other parts of her body. I'd never felt such an instantaneous sexual attraction to a woman before, and here I was panting over a girl I had met maybe twenty minutes ago. It took every bit of concentration I had in my body to remember what words to sing next.

When the song was finished, Jasper stage-whispered over to me, "Butterflies!" as he began the opening notes to my favorite song by Muse. Aha, now I can show the seductress my mad piano skills. As the song hit melodies that had harmonies written to accompany them, Jasper sang along with me. I noted that he was actually getting pretty good at this music thing. I knew I really had to think about everything else possible besides the girl perched next to Alice, or I would end up ruining any chance Jasper had of playing in public again. _For your buddy,_ I thought to myself. _Keep it in your pants long enough so your buddy can have his creative outlet._

Jasper began to play the string accompaniment to the song on his guitar as it segued into the middle piano solo. The piano solo was the real reason I loved this song so much; it sounded like a Rachmaninoff composition with its drama and flourishes. As my fingers flowed over the keys, I wondered what Bella was thinking. I wondered if she liked any other music besides classical or if the only reason she stayed was so Alice wouldn't be alone.

_Stop thinking so much, you sound like such a pussy. She's just a girl. A hot girl. So tap it, and leave the thinking out of it. _Yeah, well, you can't see the look in her eyes, Little Eddie. You didn't talk to her for thirty seconds and realize maybe this girl had a mind that you could have amazing conversations and discussions with.

Fuck me sideways. I was in way over my head.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

Fuck me up and down. I was in way over my head.

I was head over heels in lust with Edward Cullen from, like, a minute of conversation and a voice that must have been constructed by Satan for my own personal version of hell. Or, maybe it was constructed by God for my personal heaven. I still wasn't quite sure. All I knew was that I had never before felt such a strong sexual attraction to a man. It was like every cell in my body was drawn to him for one reason or another.

When he played the piano solo in the middle of the second song, I about keeled over. I could see his fingers hitting the keys, and wondered about what other magical spells those fingers could weave. _Okay, Swan, get the mind out of the gutter._ Fuck you, internal dialogue, I can find quarters in the gutter. Quarters bearing a resemblance to Edward Cullen and his wonderful bed hair.

The rest of the performance was just as magnificent as the first two songs. After a couple of songs, Edward stood up and put his microphone in a stand at the center of the stage. I watched as he swayed and prowled and stalked the stage, his eyes rarely leaving me. By the end of it, I felt like every nerve in my body was on fire, and he hadn't even touched me. Hell, he'd barely even spoken to me. Yet it felt as if he had let the music and his stage presence do the talking. Smart move on the part greatest music genius since Mozart, at least if my reaction to him was any indication.

The band finished the last song, a sexy slow version of "How Soon Is Now?" by The Smiths. The song already oozed sensuality to me, but with Edward performing, the song seemed almost like living, breathing foreplay. When they were finished, I was forced out of my Edward daze. I looked at the table and saw five empty glasses in front of me. When did I drink that much?

They waited for the applause to die down before they moved off the stage. It was the longest three minutes of my life. I had to talk to him again.

Alice was almost immediately in Jasper's arms as she excitedly asked, "Who picked the set list? You guys were amazing!" She punctuated her sentence with a kiss on Jasper's cheek.

"Edward did. He wanted a good variety of music to try out, since it was his first time on a stage in forever. I think we did pretty great. Hey, where is Edward, anyway?"

"I'm right behind you, Jazz," he replied as he walked up to us. I could see a sheen of sweat on his face, and had the sudden urge to lick it off of him. Underneath the sweat, he looked exuberant, like he had just opened the one present he wanted most on his birthday.

"Alice was right, you were amazing," I said breathlessly. Where the hell did the

oxygen in the room go? Oh, right, in my bloodstream and down to the naughty bits. It's definitely not in my lungs.

"Thank you," he responded. The music from the DJ booth began again. He looked at the booth, and then back at me with a twinkle in his eye. "Would you like to dance?"

"Definitely."

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

Dancing with Bella Swan was a joyous experience. She swayed and twirled her hips in a hypnotic pattern that I couldn't keep my eyes from. She closed her eyes and kept them closed as she got more uninhibited in her rhythms. Her arms stayed in the air, weaving in and out of each other like she was a transplant from Woodstock. It made sense, though, seeing as how the DJ played "L.A. Woman" by The Doors the second we hit the dance floor. We moved steadily together, knowing exactly how the other would move. It was as if our bodies already knew each other. Her curls were matted and wet with sweat, and I was close enough to see the glistening moisture on her collarbone. I dared to run a finger across that moisture, and she shivered. Her eyes popped open, all wild and frightened like she didn't realize where she was for a minute.

"Sorry," I whispered into her ear. I hoped she wasn't going to get pissed off or something.

"It's okay. It felt nice."

I breathed a mental sigh of relief. "I'm glad."

We stared at each other in silence, or bodies no longer moving. I smiled at her a little crookedly, hoping it would help her become comfortable again. Here eyes widened some more, and I was about to mumble an excuse to get out of there and hang out by myself in Creeperville. Then she started moving her hips in little dipping motions, and I was relieved I hadn't completely freaked her out.

"So, Edward, how long are you going to be in The City of Angels?" she asked, trying not to scream over the music.

"Not sure. Indefinitely. Until I can figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life." I tried to inch closer to her, but she moved back with a smirk on her face as I moved forward . Damn it.

"Sounds like me a bit. I'm not originally from here, either."

"Oh? Where are you from?"

"A small town in Washington called Forks. My father still lives there. I moved down to L.A. to be closer to my publisher once they realized my first book would be a best-seller." She moved closer to me with a sly grin on her face. Then she laced her fingers into my hair at the nape of my neck.

"That's an amazing accomplishment, you know. Especially for someone so young," I said roughly, trying not to growl or purr like a kitten or something equally embarrassing. But fuck me, she was close enough that I could smell her hair. She smelled like strawberries, sweet and enticing.

"I got lucky and hit on the right trend at the right time. If I were worthy of accomplishments, I wouldn't be behind on my deadlines." Her fingers were massaging my scalp, and it felt really fucking amazing.

"Everyone who is creative goes through a dry spell. I mean, look at me. I haven't been able to compose anything for over five years." I was amazed that I was able to carry on this conversation while she was so close and touching me. Granted, it wasn't like she was sticking her hand down my pants, but the effect it had on me was pretty close.

Then I was met with silence. She just stared into my eyes, her lips slightly parted. There was something incredibly feral about her hair and the look in her eyes, and I was struck by how pretty the flush on her cheeks were. When did she blush? And why?

"You are beautiful, Miss Swan." I hoped she didn't think I was a giant dork, but the words just flew out of my mouth before I could stop the train of thought. _Way to go buddy, you sound like a cliché from a stupid teenage romance novel. Wait, maybe she'd __**like**__ that._

"And you're a handsome man, Mr. Cullen. Now, is there a point to the compliments, or are we trying to mimic a cheesy romantic comedy? Are you my Freddie Prinze Jr?" Her other hand lightly brushed down my arm.

It took me a few moments before I could speak again. "I'd like your phone number so I can call you. Maybe take you to dinner or something. You know, if you want to."

She smiled, and I swore I saw a flash of relief in her eyes. "Sure."

_Success!_ I thought as I pulled my phone out. We exchanged numbers, then decided to continue dancing. She moved in closer to me, grinding her hips suggestively into mine. I could feel my jeans getting tighter, and I was about to suggest continuing the dance at my place when Alice interjected.

"Hey, Bells! We need to get going if you want to write those extra pages in the morning!"

Fucking Alice.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

I wanted to kill Alice. Scratch that, I wanted to horribly maim her, but keep her able-bodied enough so that I can torture her with mundane personal assistant errands like dry-cleaning and organizing my book collection by year of original print date.

I was getting to know Edward - and his sizeable package on my leg - when she interrupted. Unfortunately, after I checked my watch, I realized she was right. I looked at Edward with disappointment, hoping he saw that I had been having fun before we had been so rudely interrupted..

"Well, it was nice to meet you. Give me a call?" I said as the four of us headed out the door.

Edward stopped walking about four feet away from the door. Alice and Jasper kept walking, and I was about to scream for them to slow down when Edward grabbed me around the waist and pressed his lips to mine. I felt like an electric current was running between us as I closed my eyes and moved my lips against his. They were even softer than they looked, and his breath was minty and cool. I licked my tongue slowly across his bottom lip, and his lips parted to let my tongue in his mouth. Our tongues moved fluidly against each other like our bodies had danced earlier. I was pretty sure that heaven would feel like kissing Edward Cullen.

He pulled away and said, "Goodnight, Miss Swan." Then he gave my his incredibly sexy half-smile, turned, and followed Jasper through the parking lot.

Alice was at my side in a moment, squealing, "What was that?"

I replied, my head in a minty Edward fog, "I'm not quite sure. We'll talk about it when we get home."

(*)(*)(*)(*)

"How was Jasper and the gang tonight?" bellowed Emmett as we walked into the door.

"They were really great. Why didn't you come with us?" asked Alice as she headed into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich.

"I had a date, which didn't go very well, so I came home early to get a head start on organizing for our great American novelist. Hey, Bells, you look kind of peak-ed. You okay?" he asked me, putting the back of his left hand on my forehead while testing his own temperature with his other hand.

"She's fine," responded Alice, walking back into the room with a turkey Club in one hand and a glass of water in the other. She handed the water to me. "She's been razzle-dazzled by Edward Cullen."

"Ah. Isn't that Jasper's friend?"

I began losing track of their conversation. My mind was running eighty miles an hour on a crowded freeway. I was still spellbound by his voice, by his crooked smirky smile, by his eyes. I felt super-slutty all of a sudden for the extreme waves of lust I was sure I'd put off earlier. My mind was still reeling from that kiss.

That _kiss_. It was perfection on top of more perfection. It was like Marble Slab ice cream and homemade chocolate cake and peanut butter cookies rolled into one. I felt kind of high, though that may have been the immense amounts of vodka in my system. I think I started giggling, but I wasn't sure.

"Ok, I'm going to take Bella and get her into bed. Oh, and Em? Don't forget that we need to go to that Borders on Santa Monica on Monday for a reading and book signing. You're in charge of getting all of Bella's materials together for it because she'll be writing all day tomorrow. Night!" I was really lucky to have Alice always thinking ahead and knowing what I need.

She led me into my room and giggled at me as I began to peel and toss the clothing from my skin. I was confused as to why she was laughing until I saw that my tank top was hanging from one of the ceiling fan blades. I burst into hysterical laughter and collapsed on my bed, Alice falling against me.

When our laughter quieted she asked, "Are you going to see Edward again?"

"Yeah. I think so. We'll see." I closed my eyes, remembering the kiss. _The kiss._

"Well, just so you know, I don't think I've ever seen him smile that much in the month he's been living with Jasper. He had quite a reaction to you." Butterflies were doing a tango in my stomach now. Me? Little old me?

"That's good to know, Al. Now get out of my room so I can sleep."

She promptly got up off of my bed and began to walk out of my room. She turned at the doorway and looked at me. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to come to my room. Unless you're puking. If there's vomit involved, go to Emmett."

"Love you too, Al. Good night."

"Night." Alice turned the light out and closed my door, leaving me to my thoughts.

I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling of my room. I had glued glow-in-the-dark stars and moons on it, and they now glowed back at me in the darkness. _But they aren't as bright as Edward's eyes. Wow, you're quite inebriated there, Swan. That was corny even for you. _Thoughts of the beautiful boy I had met tangled with new ideas for books, and I sat up with a start. I searched around for my notebook and wrote down the ideas of green eyes, handsome composers, fairy wings, vodka, and how one moment can make you feel like a goddess. After they were committed to paper, I fell into my pillows. The exhaustion caught up with me, and I was asleep in seconds. That night I didn't dream at all.

* * *

**A/N**: The chapter title comes from the song "The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid" by The Decemberists. Their album, _The Hazards of Love_, is probably my favorite album of 2009 so far. I also recommend "The Hazards of Love 1" and "The Rake's Song" (which is not for the faint of heart... be warned!)

_Zoolander_ is a Ben Stiller comedy about the seedy underbelly of male modeling. I just recently re-discovered it when I realized Alexander Skarsgard of _True Blood_ fame was in the beginning.

Maynard Keenan is the lead singer of the bands Tool and A Perfect Circle. The song "3 Libras" by A Perfect Circle is probably the most beautiful rock song I've ever heard. Brandon Boyd is the lead singer of Incubus. Check out the tracks "11 AM" and "Mexico" from the album _Morning View_. Trent Reznor is in Nine Inch Nails, and the song "Closer" accurately describes my feelings about him.

"Butterflies" refers to the song "Butterflies and Hurricanes" by Muse, from the album _Absolution_. It is my favorite Muse song.

"How Soon Is Now?" and "L.A. Woman" are songs I always dance to whenever I hear them.

Reviews are as hot as kisses with Edward. What do you dance to when you're with an amazing guy who you have the hots for?


	3. Chapter 3: When I Met My Muse

Thanks to R. for his encouraging words, unconditional love, and willingness to let me get into a guy's head and poke around. I wouldn't be able to write Edward's POV without him. Thanks to faeriemelie for humoring me when I talk about characters as if they are real. Thanks to Starrynytex for being an awesome beta. Her story _The Boy in the Red Sweater _about broke my heart this week, but I love her anyway.

Note: This chapter is best read at 1/2, due to some structuring issues.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I just dress them up and make them fun to play with.

* * *

**B POV**

I awoke slowly, stretching my arms and legs and feeling a bit of soreness in my muscles. I realized I hadn't been dancing in a long time before I danced with Edward last night. _Edward_. My arms scrambled over the side of my bed to search the floor for my cell phone. I finally found it in the pocket of my jeans from last night. I pulled it out, noted that the battery was on its last legs, and saw that Edward had not called or texted. Then I looked at the clock on the phone.

Eleven AM. I went to sleep at around one, and was now waking at eleven. I'd not had the dream, or even a semblance of it, at all throughout the night. I was excited and relieved. _Maybe you've finally broken the streak. And now maybe you can get some real writing done._

I heard a knock at my door before I saw the doorknob turn. I sat up in my bed as Alice walked slowly into my room with a large cup of coffee in her hand. I smiled at her and patted the bed next to me. She climbed into my bed and set the cup down on my nightstand.

"Well, I see you've gotten some sleep. You feeling better?" she asked, absentmindedly kicking her feet at the comforter.

"I'm feeling great. Really well-rested. Last night was definitely needed." I fell back into my pillows, stretching my arms and twisting my torso.

"Which part? The massive amounts of vodka, the sleeping for eight hours like a normal person or the making out with Jasper's sexy friend?" She grinned at me with a look in her eyes that told me she expected details _now._

"Answer D, all of the above. Al, I've never been so attracted to a guy at first meeting before. I feel creepy and weird about it. I'm not creepy and weird, am I?"

"Of course you are, but not about this. He's physically a damn fine specimen of all the things we women want in our men. He held a conversation with you without ogling, and believe me, I was watching for that. He's nice, he's smart, and he's friends with my boyfriend. I say if you want him, go for him."

"Did this guy hire you as, like, a living, breathing personal ad? Because honestly, I can't think of a more glowing recommendation." I gave her a pointed look, and she laughed. "Still, your points are valid. Did you know we exchanged numbers last night?" I got out of my bed and walked to the bathroom. Alice followed me so that we could continue our conversation through the door as I went about my morning routine. In fact, the conversation with Alice was almost a part of that routine.

"No, I did not. Have you called him yet?"

"Uh-uh," I vocalized around a mouth full of toothpaste. My mouth was feeling gross and stale, so I was making sure to brush especially well this morning.

"Are you afraid to call him?"

"Uh-huh."

I can't tell what you're saying. Knock once on the door for affirmative, twice for negative." I knocked once.

"You have nothing to be afraid of, Bells. What's the worst that could happen?"

_Oh, I don't know, Alice. Maybe he'll tell me that the kiss was a huge mistake, and he'll never talk to me again, and I'll end up pining after him my entire life because he's "the one that got away." _I really needed to get a grip on myself. I was starting to feel a little crazed.

I spit the toothpaste out of my mouth and rinsed with water before saying, "I just don't want to seem too forward. If he doesn't call in a couple of days, I'll call him."

"If you want. So, are you writing all day today? Or are we watching movies all day?"

"I'm going to write a bit. I jotted some ideas down before I went to sleep last night, and I'm feeling the creative juices in my veins. I'm going to ride this wave out while I can. Maybe when I'm done we can watch those _True Blood _DVDs?" I ran my hairbrush through my hair, noting that there weren't that many tangles in it. I apparently not only slept for ten hours, but did not move an inch while doing so. Score one point for me.

"Again, Bella? We've watched them like five times already. Plus, a new episode is on tonight."

"They help inspire me. I love the mixture of humor, drama, and romance."

"And you love Vampire Eric, too."

I opened the bathroom door and grinned at my friend. "Well, yeah. You know, you could always go over to Jasper's." I walked past her out of my room to go into the kitchen and make myself something to eat.

"Actually, I think I might, since you're writing all day. You have any special messages to relay to Edward?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.

I grabbed the notebook that held the notes I'd written last night. I opened it and read the notes about Edward and magic and all of the gushy, horny things I knew I'd been feeling. I chuckled, realizing that I'd been thinking more like a teenager last night than I had when I was one.

"Yeah. Give him copies of my books and tell him that the ball's in his court," I requested as I turned towards my computer. I was anxious for the computer to load so I could finally write something besides _I suck I suck I suck_.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

I sat at the kitchen table, attempting to read the newspaper and failing miserably. My eyes kept flitting to my cell phone, willing it to ring with a phone call or text message from Miss Bella Swan.

I slept maybe three hours the night before. As I lay in my bed, my mind kept re-playing the kiss I'd given her. I remembered how soft her lips were, how her hands instinctively wound themselves in my hair, and how she tasted like cherries and vodka and peppermint. I remembered the look in her eyes as I bid her goodnight, and how Jasper stared at me the whole ride home (when he wasn't watching the road) and asking what the hell had gotten into me. I still wasn't quite sure how to answer him.

As my mind kept thinking about the kiss, I started to hear melodies and chord progressions in my head for the first time in five years. Before I met Tanya, I always "heard" my music in my head before committing it to paper. About a month before she left me I stopped hearing it. I had to really work to compose for the first time in my life. And now Bella Swan had brought it back to me. _Curious development, there, huh? And now you sit around like a little bitch waiting for her call._

I immediately got out my composition notebook from my nightstand and began writing down the melody in my mind. I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep until I'd finally purged it onto paper. When I was finished, I finally drifted into unconsciousness.

I heard the door open and saw Jasper walk in, sweating and breathing heavily from his morning run. He went into his room, and I heard the sound of water running a few minutes later. I went back to my newspaper, moving my phone out of my line of sight so I could attempt to concentrate.

"Dude, you look like you're about two steps away from clicking a lamp on and off repeatedly and singing 'Every Breath You Take' to a picture of her. You could always call her, you know," said Jasper, scaring the shit out of me as he walked out of his room. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, so I gathered that Alice was coming over. When she isn't around, Jasper mostly spends his time in boxers and undershirts.

"I'm not going to call her. I made the first move by kissing her. The ball's in her court." I got up from my chair and walked to the cabinet, searching for something to eat so I could have something more to distract me from staring at my phone.

"Whatever. So, I take it you and Swan got along pretty well, huh?" Jasper waggled his eyebrows at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"I think so. I mean, we didn't talk very much, but when we did the conversation flowed pretty easily. And she's a great dancer. And she's pretty cute." I'd found a box of Apple Jacks in the cupboard, and decided that it was a good enough choice for distraction food.

"If by 'cute' you mean 'completely sexy in that smart artist way,' yeah. If I weren't so crazy about Alice I would totally get on that. And yeah, Bella's always been really easy to talk to. She's really perceptive about people. Granted, she has nothing on you. Sometimes I swear you can read minds. Hey, Ed, what am I thinking right now?"

I got a bowl down from a different cabinet and poured the cereal. "You're thinking about how you're going to ask me to pour you a bowl, too. And that you need to make more coffee before Alice gets here. Am I right?"

"Completely. How do you do that?" Jasper was staring at me with a look of bewilderment as I went to the refrigerator to get some milk.

"When you're the only kid around a bunch of adults for almost your entire life, you tend to get really good at reading people's habits and mannerisms and stuff. If I didn't learn that, I'd have gotten really bored really fast. But let me explain how I read this situation. You're wearing real clothes, which means Alice is coming over. Alice drinks ridiculous amounts of coffee at all hours of the day, so you would need to make some for her because the pot's empty. And you eat all the time, so I knew once you saw my cereal in the bowl that you would want some." I got down another bowl and poured Jasper some cereal.

"You know, you would have a great career as a CSI or something if you ever wanted to give up the music. Just saying." I chuckled as I poured my milk into my cereal. I handed the gallon to Jasper as the doorbell rang.

"Hi, guys! Hope you're decent!" exclaimed Alice as she burst through the door. She hadn't even bothered to wait for someone to let her in.

"Hey, Alice. How are you doing this fine day?" I asked as she set down her purse and a gift-wrapped package on the kitchen counter.

"I am wonderful. And Bella is doing well, too. She's finally writing again, so she'll be busy all day. In case you wanted to know." She winked at me as she slipped her arms around Jasper's waist and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Oh. Cool. Well, I'll just take my cereal and let you guys be all couple-y and what have you." I picked up my cereal bowl and grabbed my cell phone off of the table. I walked into my room and settled into my desk, checking my e-mail. I noticed I had one from my father, asking me how things were going on the composing front. I started to write a reply when Alice came in.

"Edward? I have something for you." She waited until I turned around before she handed me the package she'd brought with her.

I opened the wrapping and found two books: _Wings on the Summer Wind _and _Emerald Azure Ruby_ by Bella Swan.

"She gave me a message for you, too. She said that the ball's in your court now." With that, Alice left me to ponder what the hell Bella Swan was thinking, and why she'd given me copies of her books.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

I'd just finished my seventh page of the day when my cell phone beeped at me, letting me know that I'd received a text message. _Please be from Edward, please be from Edward_, I thought as I scrolled to the text.

_Thank you for the books. Is there a reason you sent them?_

_Edward_

I saved my work on the computer and went to lie down in my bed. I figured he and I were about to have a text conversation, and I wanted to give him my undivided attention. Then I sent a reply.

_The product of one's creative outlets provides a peek into the soul. Since I am familiar with your work I thought you needed to be familiar with mine._

_Bella_

After a few minutes of playing sudoku on my phone and waiting, I received another message.

_Then I'm appreciative to be allowed such an intimate look at you, Bella. What are you doing tomorrow?_

_Edward_

My heart skipped a beat and I felt my cheeks erupt in fire. _Did he have any idea that the words he sent would have such an effect on me and my hormones? Especially because of the double entendre. _I quickly typed out a message to him as I mentally thanked Emmett for splurging for the Blackberry that has a full keyboard.

_I have a book signing at the Borders on Santa Monica. Want to meet up after?_

_Bella_

I waited for five minutes for a reply. I was about to get up and get back to my writing when my phone beeped.

_Yes._

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

I waited for a reply, hoping that Bella would give me a time and place to meet her. Ten minutes later I decided to go take a shower. I didn't take one last night when I got home, and I was starting to feel grimy.

When I returned to my room, I noticed that my phone was glowing at me. I picked it up and saw that Bella had sent me a new message.

_Meet me at the Borders at 3. My signing should be over then. And if you haven't finished reading at least one of the books I sent you, don't bother showing up. ;)_

_Bella_

I quickly got dressed and went to Jasper's room. I knocked on the door and prayed that he and Alice weren't in the throes of passion.

"Hey, what do you need?" asked Jasper as he opened the door. He was still completely dressed, so I hopefully had managed good timing.

"I need to talk to Alice for a few minutes, if that's alright with you."

"Would it have anything to do with our lovely Miss Swan?"

"Just ask her, okay? I don't really have time for your bullshit right now."

"Whoa, there, E. I'm just teasing. I'll go get her. She's in my closet color-coding my dress shirts. I swear she's obsessive-compulsive when it comes to clothing." He turned back into his room, bringing Alice with him a minute later.

"Come on, Edward, let's have this conversation in your room. I don't want Jasper to over-hear and accidentally ruin anything." She grabbed my hand and practically pulled me after her into my room. She shut the door and went to sit on my bed.

"So, I'm guessing that you've contacted my friend?" she asked in a very business-like tone. I went to sit at my desk chair.

"Yeah, we've texted back and forth a few times. We're meeting up after her book signing tomorrow. Although, she said if I didn't read one of her books not to bother showing up. What's that about?"

Alice giggled and said, "She's a strong believer in getting to know a person through their art. Remember how she told you she had performed your song cycle in high school? I still remember how she would gush about how emotional it was, and how she knew through the music that the composer was a gentle, kind man with a brilliant mind and an even more brilliant heart. She wants you to see her like that through her work. If I were you, I'd read _Emerald Azure Ruby_. It's the shorter of the two, and the one no one really asks questions about." Alice's speech made me realize just how thoughtful Bella was, and I was getting excited to get to know her. I didn't even care about the sexual attraction at that moment, although I couldn't deny that it was an ever-present force.

"I have another question. If I were to bring her a present of some kind, would she get embarrassed?"

"It depends on the present. A giant bouquet wouldn't be a good idea, but a single flower would. She likes to keep things simple. Anything else?"

"Are you going to be there tomorrow? You know, just in case I need back-up. I normally wouldn't ask, but Jasper has work and all."

"It's fine. And yes, I'll be there. And you're a lucky son of a bitch, because her brother won't be. Emmett can be pretty intimidating." I realized hadn't even thought to ask about Bella's family or anything about her beliefs or opinions last night. All I cared about was getting into her pants. I still cared about that…. a lot….. but I found myself becoming more intrigued by this young woman's personality.

"Thanks, Alice. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and could you not mention this discussion to Bella?" I stood and escorted Alice out of my room.

"It's not a problem. I like you, and Bella is my best friend. If there's any chance you two will work out, I'm perfectly happy trying to facilitate things. I'm a bit of a meddler, if you hadn't guessed already. Anyway, see you later." She walked back towards Jasper's door as I closed mine behind me. I had some planning to do.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

I woke up on Monday the same way I had on Sunday: well-rested and without that creepy dream to keep me awake. I was feeling pretty awesome about life as Alice gave me a rundown of what was expected of me at the book signing.

"When we get there, you'll do about thirty to forty-five minutes of questions and answers. After that, you'll sign until there's no one left in line. By the way, why did you wear a dress? You never dress up for signings," she asked as she drove us, sipping her caramel macchiato from Starbucks.

"I'm kind of meeting up with Edward after. If you hadn't spent the night with Jasper, maybe you would know that," I teased as I checked my hair and make-up in the passenger mirror. I was fortunate that morning to have curls that cooperated, and Alice lent me this really pretty aqua-colored eye shadow by Urban Decay that accentuated my eyes without looking clownish. I had chosen a black halter dress that flared at the bottom. It was one of the few articles of clothing, besides my undergarments, that I had purchased without Alice's help. I paired it with amazing close-toed platform pumps and fishnet stockings held up by lace garters that no one would see. I called it my sexy 1950's housewife outfit, and I was hopeful that Edward would appreciate it.

It felt like the fates were working in my favor, especially since I'd finished seventeen of the twenty-five pages I needed to do. I was on a roll, and was excited to see where my newfound inspiration would take my characters.

I watched the scenery roll by as we drove. My eyes darted back and forth as the flora of the canyon I called home gave way to the metallic structures of modern society. Sometimes I wished that I were back home up north. In Forks, everything was natural and green and beautiful. Here, everything was man-made and dangerous, but beautiful in its own industrial way.

Thinking of my hometown made me miss my father, Charlie. I needed to call him tonight because I hadn't in a while. I didn't like to think of my father all alone, even if he had his co-workers and his friends to keep him company. Maybe Emmett would be willing to go visit someday soon.

At that moment, I began to think of my mother, too. She'd died when I was eight from cancer, leaving my father to raise me and Emmett by himself. My father was amazing, especially when one considered that Emmett wasn't his biologically. Still, they had more in common than I did with Charlie, so I figured things ultimately worked out for the best. Yet I knew it still bothered Charlie that Emmett kept his biological father's last name.

Alice looked over at me and asked, "Hey, what's wrong?" I snapped out of my daze and looked at the worried expression on her face. She always worried so much about me.

"Nothing," I replied as I tried to clear the sadness out of my head with thoughts of my job for today. "Just thinking about Charlie and my mom and stuff. I'm okay. Did the bookstore give you an estimate as to the number of people expected?"

"They estimated about one hundred, but they have seating for at least two hundred. They told me that they didn't think you'd fill capacity because you aren't promoting a new book."

"Oh, well hopefully this won't take too long. My hand always cramps up after the first ten books I sign. I hate the actual signing so much."

"I'll do my best so that you can meet up with Edward, and avoid carpal tunnel. You nervous about meeting him?"

"Absolutely. Mostly because when I see him my brain gets taken over by crazy monkey lust, and I can't think of anything besides how much I want to bone him. I hope I can hold an intelligent conversation for more than five seconds so I can get to know this guy."

"So you wore your favorite dress with fishnets and hooker heels so you could get an intelligent conversation? I think the most intelligent thing you'll get out of him is grunting noises," Alice said as she pulled into the bookstore's parking lot.

A manager had met us outside and proceeded to lead us through the back entrance of the store. We were seated in a room with a table full of fresh fruit, cookies, soda, and water. I grabbed a water bottle and a cookie and nibbled while I waited. Finally, Alice and I were escorted to the area where the book signing would take place.

Alice squealed in my ear, "The manager said we're at full capacity!" My stomach lurched. I handled public speaking even worse than I did crowds. Thank God Alice was here.

They seated me at a table with a microphone set up in front of the chair. Alice stood behind me so that she could keep a watchful eye on me. The manager announced my name, and the crowd erupted into a thunderous applause punctuated by calls and whistles. Then the question and answer portion began.

I enjoyed answering questions for my fans when I did my first book tour, but after that the questions started to repeat. I hoped someone would delve deeper into the meat of my stories and that the fans would stop asking questions about my love life, especially since I didn't really have one.

I'd spaced out for a few minutes when the next question was asked. I was immediately floored when I heard that hypnotic voice that had stunned me on Saturday.

"Miss Swan, my name is Edward, and I am a new fan of your work. My question has to do with _Emerald Azure Ruby. _I found the underlying theme of choosing between one's duty and one's heart very riveting, and I especially found the color symbolism of the faerie court and the human world incredibly clever. I wanted to know if there was a specific personal event or a specific work that inspired your use of color and theme, or if it was completely unintentional." He smiled that crooked smirk at me, and I couldn't breathe.

Edward was here at the signing. He wasn't meeting me later. He was here for the actual event. He'd read my book and saw the literary elements that my fans always overlooked. I felt giddy and anxious and a little like I was asphyxiating. I looked back at Alice, who smiled at me and shrugged her shoulders.

I all of a sudden couldn't wait to sign the books. At least then I'd be able to see his eyes again.

* * *

**A/N:** The title comes from the poem by William Stafford.

_True Blood_, for those of you who don't know, is an amazing show on HBO about vampires. It's my absolute favorite show right now, and the cast is amazing (and gorgeous... Alexander Skarsgard, anyone?)

Bella's books are not real, but I do have an outlined plot for _Emerald Azure Ruby_. I may write it eventually.

Indie Twific voting is going on! Go vote and support your fellow fan fiction authors! Some of my favorites include the aforementioned _The Boy in the Red Sweater_ by **Starrynytex **(I'm always talking about this one, but her Edward reminds me so much of my R.), _Carpe Noctem and Fiat Lux_ by **queenofgrey** (her Edward makes me swoon), _Bare_ by **stella luna sky** (her characters are so relatable and humanly flawed, which is why I love it so much), _Ars Moriendi _by **vanilladoubleshot** (an amazing, original story that is absolutely beautiful in how well it's written), and _Appassionata_ by **lisa89** (a fic with a prominent musical undercurrent, which makes me gleeful).

Reviews are lovely like sexy black 1950's housewife dresses. What are some of your favorite books?


	4. Chapter 4: A Kiss To Send Us Off

Much thanks to R. for late-night calls, faeriemelie for editing despite being grumpy, and Starrynytex for being a great beta and just all-around awesome.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I own Urban Decay eyeshadow that happens to be the same color as Bella's.

* * *

**B POV**

"Uh, I'm sorry, sir. Could you repeat the question?" I stammered at Edward.

"Absolutely, Miss Swan. Was the color symbolism and the theme of _Emerald Azure Ruby_ inspired by anything, personal or otherwise?" he repeated as I regained my composure. I pondered his question for a few seconds before answering.

"That's an incredibly thoughtful question, Mr. Edward, and I'm glad you enjoyed my book. To answer your question, the colors I used to describe the fae world were colors I'd seen my entire life in my hometown of Forks, Washington. There were a lot of trees and other types of plant life, and I always imagined that faeries would hide in those plants, waiting for me to find them. When I began writing the book, I just used the colors before realizing about twenty pages in that the use of the color green could help convey that the fae creatures were driven more out of power and greed than anything good or natural. The color green is a common symbol for this in other literature, so it worked. I used yellow intentionally as a symbol of hope for the human world, and this was inspired by how bright the sun and sky look here in Los Angeles. When I began that book, I'd just moved here and my first novel was a best-seller, so I had plenty or reasons to be hopeful. As for the theme, that wasn't really inspired by anything particular. I remember that I'd been reading the Harry Potter series at the time, and listening to the album _Ok Computer _by Radiohead a lot, and the ideas just flowed out. Next question?"

He smiled a full grin at me, and it seemed he was impressed with my answer. _Good,_ I thought. _Now let's see if I can dazzle him with my outfit choice. _

The questions continued in fast succession, and they were mostly questions I had been asked many times before. When asked if I was dating anyone special, I blushed as I responded in the negative. Granted, I knew that at the moment anything more than a few dates with a guy wouldn't be the best idea. I had way too much on my plate involving my job to be able to handle an emotionally involved relationship as well. I was really fucking lonely sometimes, though. _Maybe Edward Cullen would like to make your bed sheets a little less cold._

The questions died down, and the manager of the bookstore announced that the crowd would be getting into line based on the numbers they were given earlier. I tried to crane my neck to see where Edward was in the line, but I couldn't find him. The fans started moving and I gave up my search. It was time for work.

I made sure to talk to each fan and sign personal notes into each book. I like to do these things for my fans so that they know I care about them, their thoughts, and their opinions. One girl named Sarah gave me a quilt she'd made with the birds from the cover of _Wings on the Summer Wind _on it_. _She was very quiet and shy about handing the present to me, almost as if she wasn't sure if it was allowed. I stood up and gave her a hug, thanking her profusely for the present. I'm always touched when my fans show so much dedication and love for my work, especially since I feel like my books are a very large part of me.

The line dwindled down, and when there were about fifteen people left, I saw Edward at the very end. I tried my best not to rush through the people in front of him, but I was getting really excited for the signing to end and my date with him to begin. _Except that you two never specified that it was a date, dumbass._

Finally, he reached my table. He was wearing dark jeans and a black T-shirt that fit snugly to his body. I could see that he had defined muscles in his chest and arms, and I began to feel a warmth spread through my body. He had to have known what kind of reaction I was having to him because he gave me that uneven smile again.

"You don't have to sign the book if you don't want to," he said quietly, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable. I began to worry that I had gawked too long.

"No, it's alright. I'd be happy to sign the book for you. Would you like a personalized message?" I asked, noting that my voice sounded a little higher-pitched than normal. _Way cool, there, Swan._

"How about 'To the many happy times to come?'" I felt his eyes boring holes into mine, and the color of them seemed to darken slightly.

I smiled at him and took the book from his hand. I signed the message he had requested and added "with much adoration, Bella Swan." When I was finished, he took the book from me without looking at what I'd written.

Alice came up behind me and said, "Well, since Edward was the last person, we are done here. I will take care of all the stuff with the manager of the store. Edward, I am assuming you brought a car with you?" Edward nodded, and Alice continued. "Well, then, I'll see you later. Have fun!" She gathered up the quilt, turned on her heel, and walked to the store manager.

Edward walked around the table and held his hand out to me. I took it, and he led me out of the store and to his car. I didn't let go of his hand until after I'd gotten into the car. I had no idea where we were going, but I didn't really care. I just wanted to spend some up close and personal time with him

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

I'd decided to take Bella to a small café I had found while searching for a good record store one day. It served all kinds of food, so I knew it'd be a safe choice. We drove in near silence, with the only sound being a recording of Verdi's _Requiem_ on my car stereo. I was doing my best to keep my eyes on the road, but I had a hard time focusing when she was dressed like _that. _

She looked like a 1950's housewife taken over by a pin-up girl. Her dress was black, and it showed an ample amount of cleavage. I had to struggle not to look, but from the few glimpses I let myself have, I'd noticed that she had very pale, almost translucent skin. She was also rather well-endowed for someone so small in stature. _Just admit the girl has nice tits. Don't tip-toe around your thoughts just because you want to be polite and chivalrous and all that jazz. You know you want to fuck her silly while you motorboat those delightful breasts._ Oh, who the fuck was I kidding? My libidinous thought process was right.

When she stepped into my 1966 Ford Mustang, I noticed that she was wearing very high heels and fishnet stockings. I wasn't completely positive, but I thought I saw a flash of garter as she moved her legs into the car. She had to have known what she would do to me and my testosterone levels when she put this outfit together. Even her make-up drew me in, with bright colors that weren't over-bearing.

"Where are we going?" she asked after a few minutes, her hands nervously fumbling with a small black handbag.

"I'm taking you to the Café Luminiere. They serve a variety of different types of food." _And desserts I'd like to eat off of your bare skin._

"Do they serve burgers? I haven't had one in a while. Alice has been on a vegetarian kick, and has demanded that everyone in our house try it out for three weeks. I'm in desperate need of the protein." She looked at me kind of sheepishly, as if she felt like she was talking too much.

"Yes, they serve burgers, though I've never had one. I'm a vegetarian. I believe I am the reason Alice has forced this new diet on you. She sampled something I'd made for dinner one day, and proclaimed it the best thing she'd ever eaten. When I told her it was vegetarian, she asked me about cookbooks and stuff." _Shit. Now she's going to get mad at me for denying her delicious burgers and slabs of bacon or whatever else meat-eaters ingest._

Instead, she laughed, her eyes giving off a soft, joyous luminosity. "Well, that's Alice. She's been doing this kind of thing to me for seventeen years. I'm used to it by now."

"How did the two of you meet?"

"We were seated next to each other on the first day of kindergarten. I let her use my crayons, and she shared the cookies in her lunch with me. It flourished from there, I guess. I can't even remember my life without her in it." There was a gentleness in the tone of her voice when she spoke of Alice. I could tell that she really loved her friend like family, and that there was a strong bond between the two women. I guess that meant I really had to make sure to stay on Alice's good side.

"Do you have any family here in L.A?"

"Yeah, my brother, Emmett. He lives with us, and he helps manage my literary empire. Do you have any family nearby?"

"No. My parents both still live in New York, and I don't have any siblings. You're lucky that you had Emmett and Alice growing up."

"Why's that?"

"I was a really lonely kid because I was always performing and always traveling. I didn't make my first friend until I was sixteen, and that person happened to be Jasper." After I'd spoken the words, I realized that I had shared something much too personal - and pathetic - than was appropriate for a first date. _Except that you didn't specify to her that this __**was**__ a date. _

We were silent for a minute before she responded, "I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject, if I did. I'm really sorry." She looked down at her hands with a grim expression on her face.

"It's alright," I reassured, "you didn't know. My childhood was very different from that of most people, and it's not really a topic one brings up on a first date." I gave her a weak smile, and was surprised when she looked up at me with a look of elation.

"So, this is a date, Edward?" she breathed, her voice drawing me in closer to her face as I struggled to watch both her and the road.

"Only if you want it to be," I replied, making my voice as low as hers.

She blinked at me, slightly parting her lips. She stayed in her position for a few seconds before turning to face the windshield, her face flushing a deep shade of crimson. It was a beautiful sight, really. The small amount of color made her pale skin look more alive and radiant.

"So," I said, breaking our silence, "since I told you something really personal, you have to do the same for me….. in the interest of fairness, of course."

She turned to face me and smiled. "Ask away."

"If you were to ask a genie for three wishes, what would they be? And you can't ask for extra wishes or unselfish shit like world peace or the end of world hunger or no nuclear weapons." This was a question I asked everyone I met, but I'd asked it a lot sooner than I thought I would.

"Um... let me think." She paused, and I nodded with encouragement while she pondered her answer. "My first wish would be for my writing to never halt. Writer's block is frustrating, and it makes me unpleasant to deal with, and everyone around me gets sad or upset. My second wish would be for my father to finally start dating again, because it's been a while and I don't want him to live the rest of his life lonely. My third wish would be to have someone care enough about me to give me their soul completely."

"Sounds good to me." I was really impressed with her answers. I completely understood where she was coming from with the writer's block, and I was glad to know that she loved her father and wanted him to be happy. I wondered where her mother fit into the picture, though. Her third answer was intriguing, especially since I wasn't sure what exactly she meant by someone giving her their soul. Still, her answers where a lot more thoughtful and eloquent than asking for a house, a car, and Brad Pitt.

We were silent again, but this time the silence was comfortable. After a couple of minutes, we'd arrived at the destination. She'd hopped out of the car before I was able to make it around and open her door, and I wondered if she was a militant feminist or something. Granted, a militant feminist wouldn't be caught dead in an outfit like hers, so I figured she was excited instead. I knew that I was, especially as I watched her walk to the door with a little sway in her hips.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

We arrived at the restaurant, and I was excited and nervous. I felt like the conversation we'd had in the car was awkward, and I was wondering what he was thinking about it. When the car stopped, I hopped out before realizing that I probably should have waited for him to open the door. He seemed like the type to do that kind of thing. I turned around to make sure he was still behind me, and I caught him staring at my ass. I felt a little thrill run through me. _Mission accomplished._

He closed the distance between us with three long strides, and we walked into the restaurant. He'd opened and held the door for me, and when I walked through the frame I felt his hand in the small of my back, leading the way. That small touch brought out an involuntary gasp from me, and I had to fight not jump on him.

We were led to a table near the back, and after we had ordered drinks (water for me and iced tea for him) we were left to our own devices. I decided to break the ice.

"You know, this meeting people thing is incredibly awkward for me, and you're looking pretty uncomfortable yourself. So, why don't we do like a rapid fire question deal? I'll ask you a question, then you ask me something. We don't ask anything too complicated, and we answer as quickly as possible."

"That sounds fine to me, but let's wait until after we order," he replied.

As if on cue, the waitress arrived to take our orders. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with sweet potato fries, and he ordered a guacamole black bean burger, also with sweet potato fries.

When the waitress left, I said, "Ok, I'm going to ask a question first. Why did you order sweet potato fries?"

He grinned that adorable crooked smile at me and said, "They're my favorite thing on the menu here. They always turn out perfect. Why did you?"

"I've never had them before. I wanted to try something new. How old are you, and when is your birthday?"

"June 20th, and I am twenty-five years old. Same question."

"September 13th, and I am twenty-two."

The questions continued in this fashion for a while. I learned a lot about him, like his parents names (Carlisle and Esme), his full name (Edward Anthony Cullen), his favorite food (fettucine alfredo), his favorite book (_Catcher in the Rye _by J.D. Salinger), and his favorite movie (_Casablanca_). He seemed to enjoy this type of questioning, as if the pressure was taken off of his shoulders. I remembered what he'd said in the car about meeting his first friend, Jasper, at the age of sixteen. It made me wonder if he'd ever dated before, and I hoped that I wasn't scaring him too much. Then he asked his next question.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Green," I answered, looking down at the table. I was afraid I'd begin to blush if I looked into the eyes that were my favorite color. I couldn't think of a question to ask him, so he asked another after I was quiet for a bit.

"What is your full name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan."

"That's a lovely name. Why don't you go by Isabella?"

"I don't know. I guess I just always preferred being called Bella." _Although now I might start going by Isabella again, because the way it sounds coming out of your mouth is orgasm-inducing._

The food arrived at that moment, and we ate in silence. Our eyes would meet every so often, and we would smile at each other across the table. Then I noticed a bit of guacamole just above the left side of his upper lip.

"Um, Edward? There's a little bit of something on your face," I said, a little embarrassed. He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, but he missed it.

I had the sudden urge to lick it off of him, and before I could stop myself, I'd stood up and leaned over the table.

"Uh… B-bella? What-?" he stuttered as I brought my face close to his. I stared into his eyes for a few seconds before my tongue darted slowly to remove the traces of the tangy avocado from his lip. I licked my own lips as I sat back down. _Ball's in your court now, _I thought to myself, feeling incredibly smug.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

I sat there, completely stunned. Five minutes ago, she was blushing because her favorite color happened to be the same color as my eyes, and now, she's _licking guacamole_ off of my face. I was confused as hell, and incredibly turned on.

During our rapid-fire questioning I'd learned a lot about her. Her favorite movie was _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_, she loved all types of music except for most country and rap, and her favorite book was _One Hundred Years of Solitude _by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez. I had never heard of the movie or the book before, so I wondered about the quality of these favorites. I stopped wondering when she told me her favorite opera was _Madame Butterfly._ I figured anyone who loved Puccini had incredible taste.

She sat back down across from me, a superior expression on her face. I had no idea how to politely react to this development, so I just smiled, went back to my food, and tried to ignore the waves of lust rolling over me.

We made small talk about the abnormally hot weather and our friends while we waited for the check. She tried to offer to pay, but I wouldn't let her.

"I'll let you get the next one, okay?" I said as I set my credit card on the table. When I got my card back, I wrote out a generous tip and escorted Bella back to my car. I noticed that the clock in my car stated it was five PM.

We were being silent again, but it was serene. It was the kind of quiet you normally shared with someone you've known for a long time. We kept sneaking glances at each other, and each time our eyes met, her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink. I wondered if she blushed anywhere else besides her face, and imagined what that dark flush would look like on her breasts and stomach.

"What are we listening to?" she asked at one point.

"Verdi's _Requiem_. Do you like it?"

"Yeah. It's really powerful and bombastic for a requiem. Which recording is it? I'd like to look it up at home and maybe order a copy."

"It's the one with Christa Ludwig and Elizabeth Schwarzkopf. It's the best recording of the piece that I've found. The balance between the voices of the chorus and the soloists is unrivaled."

She didn't reply after that. We listened to the music as it flowed through the car, and I began to feel a sense of peace. The "Lacrymosa" movement was playing, and it always made my head clear as I listened. When we got back near the bookstore, she gave me directions to her house.

Eventually we arrived at our destination. She reached for the door handle, but I stopped her.

"Wait. I have a surprise for you," I told her as I reached into the back seat for the small package I'd hidden underneath her seat.

"Edward, you didn't have to do that. I mean, you paid for our meal and all." Her face was showing that remarkable color on her cheeks again, and my breath halted in my lungs. I'd never seen such an innocent reaction look so incredibly alluring.

"You gave me a present. I only thought it fair to give you one." I waited for about thirty seconds, and then she sighed and opened up the wrapping.

"Are you familiar with his work?" I asked as she held a new copy of _Leaves of Grass_ by Walt Whitman in her hands.

"I read some of it in college. I really enjoyed it. Is this an earlier collection or the deathbed edition?" I was delighted to hear that she was familiar enough to know of the different versions of this particular book.

"It's the deathbed edition. I've always enjoyed Whitman, and I frequently used his text when composing when I was younger. I guess you could call this a peek into my soul, Isabella, to use some of your terminology."

She stared at me, her eyes growing brighter and darker at the same time. _How do they do that?_ Then she interrupted all thought processes by bringing her face close to mine.

"Thank you," she whispered, her lips so close to mine that her words made our lips touch.

"You're welcome," I whispered back.

She pressed her lips to mine with soft movements and gentle pressure. I brought my hand up to her face, stroking her cheek lightly with my thumb. I felt her hand twine itself into my hair as she pushed me even closer to her. Our kiss deepened, lips crushing together in a paradox of passion and tenderness. Her lips parted at the same moment mine did, and our tongues began their dance for domination. My other hand snaked around her, gently pressing against the small of her back. She moaned into my mouth, and I almost lost control.

Our need for oxygen broke our kiss, but our faces remained only inches apart. We looked at each other for a few minutes, trying to read the other's expression. I saw lust, excitement, and fear in her eyes, and was completely and utterly turned on by it. Her lips stayed slightly parted as she caught her breath, and I noticed how they looked rosy in the fading light as the sun made its descent in the sky.

"Well, I should get going. Thank you for a lovely evening, Edward. Call me tonight?" she asked, ending the perfection of the moment with the memory of reality. I was hoping she would ask me inside, but I guess she didn't want to move that fast.

"Sure." I opened the car door, and walked around the other side to walk her to the door. When we reached the door, she pressed her lips to mine gently, placing her hands on my hips. The kiss didn't deepen, but instead remained sweet and soft.

"Good night, Edward," she said after the kiss ended as she reached for the door handle.

"Sweet dreams, Isabella," I replied as I took her other hand and placed a light kiss on her knuckles. _One point for Cullen._

I turned around and got back into my car, staring down at the bulge in my pants. _Maybe next time, little buddy_, I thought to myself. Then I pulled out of the driveway and drove home.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

I walked into my house, closed the front door, and leaned against it. _Man, this guy is charming. Charming like Clive Owen or something. I'm so totally fucked._

I stood there in my Edward daze, still thinking about the fact that he _kissed_ my _hand_, when the house phone rang.

I picked up the receiver without looking at the caller ID and said, "Hello?"

"Belllllllaaaaaaa. What's shakin', sweetie?" replied the voice on the other end of the phone. I immediately knew from the sound of the voice that it was Jacob.

I'd been friends with Jacob Black almost as long as I'd been friends with Alice. His father was friends with my father, and my family would spend a lot of time on the weekends with them. Jacob's dad, Billy, was the chief of a nearby Native American tribe, so for a long time I only saw Jacob on those weekend trips to the reservation. When Jacob got to high school age, he rebelled and decided to go to Forks High School because of their dance program. Jacob had always been a remarkable dancer, and was in fact minoring in dance at UCLA at the moment while also completing a pre-law program. I hadn't heard from him in a while, so I was happy to hear his voice.

"I actually just got home from a date. What are you up to?"

"Seth and I just got home from a date, too. We went to the movies and saw _Star Trek, _which was awesome. You'd like it, I promise you. Now he and I are making dinner. Hey, want to come join us?" he asked as I heard his boyfriend asking where the olive oil was in the background.

"No, I've eaten already. So, is this a purely social phone call, or did you call with a specific purpose in mind?"

"Actually, I was wondering if Alice was home. I need to ask her if she'll dance with me for a performance the UCLA choir is doing. Is she there?"

"Let me check." I set the phone down and called for Alice across the house. After I didn't get a response, I searched all of the rooms in the house and found that I was home alone at the moment. _Shit, it would have been a perfect time to invite Sexy Cullen inside. Motherfucker._

I picked the phone back up and said, "Nope, she and Emmett are both M.I.A. You want me to give Alice a message?"

"Nah, it's alright. I'll call her cell, or I'll talk to her about it on Friday."

"I see. Hey, what's on Friday?"

"Uh, Bells, it's the first Friday of the month. Anyway, Seth needs my help, so I'll talk to you later. Love!"

"Love you back." I hung up the phone, feeling kind of stupid for forgetting what was happening on Friday.

Alice always had parties at the house on the first Friday of the month. She'd started the tradition when her maternal grandparents passed away two years ago and she inherited a large amount of money. She never told me the exact amount, claiming that she still liked to work to make her own way as best she could, but she did say once that she could live like Paris Hilton if she wanted. The only real money she spent out of her inheritance went to funding wild monthly parties that always had a theme.

I always hated Alice's parties. I never felt like I belonged at them, except when I was smoking pot with Jacob. Also, someone (usually Alice or Emmett) always ended up having sex in my bed. Well, at least this time _I_ might be having sex - with Edward - in my bed. _Things are starting to look up, Swan. _I walked into my room and began to undress for a shower, wondering what theme Alice had picked for this month.

* * *

**A/N: **The title comes from the song "A Kiss To Send Us Off" by Incubus.

Harry Potter rocks my socks, and probably always will. _Ok Computer _by Radiohead contains the song "Paranoid Android", which is in my top ten favorite songs list. It's definitely worth checking out.

All of Edward and Bella's favorites are things I enjoy. Special shout-out to _Madame Butterfly_, which is an absolutely heart-breaking opera. The aria "Un Bel Di" makes me cry every time I hear it. PM if you want to know my favorites.

Verdi's _Requiem_ is a piece of music I was lucky to perform in college. The "Lacrymosa" and the "Dies Irae" movements are worth checking out. And yes, the recording I mentioned is the best one.

Walt Whitman is an amazing poet, so if you haven't read any of his works, please do so. You won't be disappointed.

_Star Trek _was the only summer blockbuster that did not disappoint. Also... hot Spock.

All mentions of UCLA are done without any knowledge of their law or music programs. If you go there, and have knowledge of them... I'm sorry if I'm wrong.

Reviews are even better than licking guacamole off of Edward's face, and they'll get you a teaser, too.


	5. Chapter 5: Give Me Women, Wine, & Snuff

Thanks to R. for his constructive criticism, even though he doesn't get my motivations sometimes. Thanks to faeriemelie for letting me tag along to work-out classes all summer. Thanks to Starrynytex and her super awesome beta skills, without which I might never have posted this story.

**Warning: There is drug use in this chapter. If you're the type who says no and doesn't like it when people say yes, you better stop now.**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns these characters. I own the computer that I write the characters on. I _wish_ I owned Bella's costume.

* * *

**E POV**

I unlocked the door to the apartment, noting that Jasper wasn't home. _He must be out with Alice_, I thought as I threw my keys on the counter and headed to my room.

When I reached my room, I began to shed the clothing that started feeling incredibly heavy as I drove home. I couldn't keep my mind off of Bella and how amazing she looked and kissed. I put the belongings that were in my pockets on my desk and threw the clothes into the hamper at the foot of my bed. I decided that I needed to take a shower, and headed to my bathroom. I turned the water on and tested the temperature, making sure that my shower was on the warmer side of cold. I definitely needed a cold shower tonight.

I stepped into the shower stall and stood underneath the spray of the water for a few minutes. The cool water helped clear my head, but not my libido. Little Eddie was still standing at attention, waiting to be dealt with. It didn't help matters that fantasies of Bella lifting the skirt of her dress to reveal that she wasn't wearing panties were playing in my head. I decided to take care of the problem, and began stroking my erection slowly. The Bella in my mind was licking her lips and whispering how much she wanted me. Soon enough, the movements of my hands had quickened, and as fantasy Bella removed the dress completely I came, letting the water wash the evidence of my arousal down the drain. Only then was I able to actually shower, a little embarrassed about how much this girl was affecting me physically.

After I finished my shower, I toweled off and was searching for a pair of boxers in my drawer when I heard the front door open. I darted across my room and closed the door, hoping that Alice wasn't with him. I quickly dressed and waited for someone to come ask me how my date with Bella went. After a few minutes with no interruptions, I decided it was a good time to call Bella like she'd asked me.

I grabbed my phone off of my desk and searched for her number in my contact list. After I selected the number, I waited for Bella to answer.

"Hello?" she answered, sounding breathless, like she'd just finished running a marathon or something.

"Hey. Why do you sound out of breath?"

"I was in the study on the other side of the house searching for a book I needed for research when I heard the phone ring. I ran to make sure I caught it." I could still hear her panting, and my libido rose again. _Shit, man, get a grip on yourself, you're not a teenager anymore!_

"Oh. So, do you have any plans for the rest of your evening?"

"Not really. I was going to try and get a few pages done before I went to sleep, since I didn't get many done before the book signing. Hey, I never did thank you for your question, did I?"

"You did, right before you answered."

"Well, thank you again. I don't usually get questions like that. Most of my fans ask questions about my personal life or if I'm writing a sequel or things like that. I especially hate the questions about whether or not the books will be made into movies. I get producers calling me all the time about that, but none of them want to work on the script with me. They want their own screenwriters."

"If you could have anyone direct a film version of your books, who would it be?"

"Realistically or absolute favorite, regardless of availability?"

"Both."

"For _Wings_, I'd want Garry Marshall realistically. He does a lot of romantic comedies, and I think he'd be able to handle the romantic elements of the plot very well. In my fantasy crew, the director would be Sam Mendes. I don't think I've ever seen a movie directed by him that I didn't like."

"And for _Emerald_?"

"Well, my fantasy and realistic director are the same person. I'd love to work with Guillermo del Toro. The fantastical elements in his films are always so beautifully done, and there are some things in my book that are supposed to scare the shit out of you. I know I had nightmares when writing it, but I could also see the scenes vividly in my head. I think he'd be able to bring those images to life. Plus, I've heard that his kids are fans of my books."

"You do realize his hands are tied up with _The Hobbit_, right?"

"I know. I'd wait for him, though, honestly. _Emerald Azure Ruby_ is the less popular of my two books, so I feel like if it were made into a movie, the fans would finally be able to see what I see in it. With Guillermo del Toro at the helm, it will undoubtedly be a beautiful piece of film-making."

We spoke for a while about things like fantasy casting. We realized that we both had a fondness for Edward Norton, especially in the movie _Fight Club_, and that we both had an obsession with 1980's children's fantasy movies. When I looked over at my alarm clock, I realized that we'd been speaking for over an hour on the phone.

"Hey, Bella, do you realize we've been talking for an hour and fifteen minutes?"

"Holy shit, we have?" I heard her move and assumed she was searching to look at a clock. "I probably need to get going so I can get some writing done. You know, it's so easy to talk to you. I don't know why, I'm usually really shy around people I don't know."

"I feel the same way. Who knows? Anyway, I'm glad to have met you, Bella. Now I don't have to depend on Jasper to entertain me every day."

She laughed. "Speaking of entertaining, this Friday is the first of the month. Alice throws parties at our house on the first Friday of the month, and there's always a theme. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm inviting you."

"I'll be there. Will I be able to see you before then?"

"Probably not. I have a couple of meetings at my publisher's, and I need to get some serious writing done." She sounded disappointed.

"That's okay. I'll see you at the party, then."

"Alright. Don't hesitate to call me or anything, if the desire strikes."

"Of course. Have a good night, Bella."

"You too. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone, and went to search for Jasper to ask about these parties, what to expect, and what to wear.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

It had been four days since I'd seen Edward. We talked on the phone every night, and texted back and forth frequently throughout the day. I was always glad to see his name on my caller ID, and Alice remarked at how I smiled at my phone whenever he sent me messages.

The writing, however, was not as enjoyable. I hit another stumbling block on Tuesday, and didn't write any more than three pages for the rest of the week. I had a meeting with Angela, my editor's assistant, about how much I could push the book back, and she had set up an appointment to discuss the issue for the next week. I also had a meeting with the head of the publishing company about writing a foreword for a new edition of a book by a young adult author I had loved when I was younger. I agreed, although I wasn't quite sure where I was going to find the time to write it.

I was really bummed out most of the week, even though Alice kept reminding me all week that I'd be seeing Edward at her party. Even though I was excited about that, I couldn't help feeling a bit like a failure.

Alice's theme was Retro Night. She told everyone that was invited that they could not wear fashions that were popular after 1990, stating that she hated the grunge era and didn't want to see any flannel. She had chosen a 1920's red flapper dress for herself, and she looked adorable in it. She told me that Jasper had found a suit that made him look like a mobster. We went shopping on Wednesday for my outfit, and found an amazing mod style dress at a vintage store that Alice frequently visits. It was a black mini dress with no sleeves, a high neck, and a red patent leather belt at the waist. We immediately searched around for some go-go boots, and found a pair of thigh-high ones the exact color of the belt. After the outfit had been purchased, I was feeling a bit better than I had the day before. I even agreed to let Alice do my hair and make-up however she wanted.

When Friday rolled around, Alice and I woke up early to get some preparations finished. I was sent to the store to buy more alcohol, some snack foods, and some extra toilet paper. Emmett had been sent to fetch a cake Alice had ordered and to pick up Eric Yorkie so he could set up a DJ booth in the corner of our living room. I arrived home about an hour before the party was to start, and Alice jumped me the second I walked in the door.

"Where have you been? I needed at least an hour and a half in order to finish making up us both! Come on!" she exclaimed as she pulled me into her room. She seated me in front of the large vanity and told me not to move. She poked and prodded my face with a bunch of different products that I couldn't recognize. After that she attacked my hair with a straightener and fastened large earrings to my ears. She told me to sit on her bed while she worked on her hair and make-up. When she was finished, we changed into our dresses, which she had moved to her room at some point in the day. She slipped on her shoes and helped me into mine. We could hear the music starting, and we opened the door to be greeted by Emmett dressed as Don Johnson in _Miami Vice._

"Hey, girls! The party's already started! Jake's here, and setting up his 'equipment' on the couch," he exclaimed, making air quotes and pulling me into a tight bear hug. I released myself from Emmett's grip and made my way over to Jacob.

"Oh, my God, Bella, you look _amazing_. And the make-up…. Alice?" he asked, knowing perfectly well that I would never have been able to do accurate Twiggy eye make-up on my own.

I nodded and replied, "And you look pretty damn good yourself. Very Greg Brady." He was wearing bell bottom jeans, a flowing blue shirt, and a brown vest. His hair had been cut recently, and was now the perfect length to make him look like a Native American Kelso from _That 70's Show._

"Well, I have to go track down our pixie. I still haven't talked to her about that dancing thing." He walked into the kitchen in search of Alice as I went to say hi to Eric Yorkie, who owned the bar I had met Edward at last week.

"Yorkie!" I shouted over the music. He was playing a techno song I didn't recognize.

"Hey, Writer Girl! How's it going?" he shouted back.

"Great! I have a list of music for you!" I walked around a speaker and into his booth. He pulled up the list of all of the music he had available on his DJ computer, and I quickly flagged all of the music I wanted him to play. By the time I was finished, Jacob was waving at me with a beer in one hand and his bong in the other.

I made my way over to him and asked, "So, is the beer for me or for you?"

"Shit! I forgot to get you a drink!"

I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'll get my own. Did you bring enough for the both of us?" I nodded my head towards the bong.

"I brought enough for about ten average people. Which should mean it's enough for you, me, and Alice."

I giggled as I walked into the kitchen. I looked at all of the bottles of alcohol on the bar and contemplated what to drink. I finally decided on straight tequila on the rocks. When my drink was prepared, I headed back to Jacob who was settled in on the couch.

"I'd like to propose a toast," he said, holding his beer bottle in the air. I held my glass up and waited for him to continue.

"To Bella Swan, an amazing writer and an even more amazing friend."

"Aw, Jake, you're too sweet," I replied, a little touched by his remarks, albeit also a little embarrassed.

"Now, let's enjoy this mighty fine ganja that I brought for you," he said, holding his bong in front of my face.

I took hold of it and put my face to it as Jacob lit the bowl. I inhaled the sweet smoke and held it in my lungs for a few seconds before breathing out into Jacob's face. He laughed and took the bong from me.

"I only let the beautiful girls do that to me, you know," he teased before inhaling his hit.

"You are so full of flattery tonight! Seth must have given it to you good this morning."

"You know it. Now give uncle Jakey a kiss for being such an awesome friend with such awesome weed."

I giggled, put my arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek. _If only this were Edward,_ I thought to myself.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

What. The. Fuck.

Jasper and I had arrived at the party a little late because I was having a hard time with the ridiculous wig I was wearing. Alice had insisted I dress up as a hippie to match Bella's outfit, and I reluctantly agreed. But as I walk in the door, I see Bella wrapped around a dude who looked like he belonged in K.C. and the Sunshine Band. Then she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

_Okay, she probably has a good explanation for this, and it's not like you're exclusive or anything. You've only been on one date with the girl._ I tried to rationalize her behavior, but I was still pissed off about it. I immediately headed for the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels from the table. I opened it and swallowed three large gulps from the bottle.

"Dude, are you okay?" asked Jasper. His eyes widened when he saw the bottle in my hand.

"I'm fucking peachy. I just wanted to make sure I got this bottle before anyone else." _Fucking chicks, man. They always fuck me over._

Alice had spotted us by that point, and walked over to us. She looked back and forth between me and Jasper, but didn't say anything. Smart move on Alice's part.

I put the bottle back to my lips and drank. I lost track of the number of swallows.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

I saw Edward when he arrived, and looked…. dirty, but in a good way. _Alice must have gotten her hands on him after we bought my outfit_, I thought to myself.

He was dressed in faded, torn jeans and a denim vest with black suede fringes sewn into the bottom. He was wearing a bunch of beaded necklaces, and his hair was covered by a shoulder-length wig that was only slightly more brown than his natural hair color. He looked sexy and adorable and… uncomfortable. I saw him head straight for the kitchen without giving me another glance. I had no idea what was wrong.

"Bells, who was that guy who just came in? He looked tasty," asked Jacob.

"That's the guy I had a date with on Monday. His name is Edward, and you need to be on your best behavior when around him. I have no idea how he'd react to your… you-ness." I took a few sips of the tequila, my eyes waiting for Edward to emerge from the kitchen.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

"E? You need to put the bottle down," said Jasper as he reached for the Jack Daniels in my hand.

"Nope. Not hap'ning. It's my favorite." I took another swig, but realized that there was no more liquor in the bottle.

"There's no more, Edward. Put the fucking bottle down." I followed his directions, wondering if there was another bottle somewhere on the table.

"Who the fuck drank all the J.D.? I needs some more."

Alice interjected, "Hey, why don't you go find Bella? She was in the living room last time I checked."

"Yeah, hanging and kissing on some guy who looks like he belongs at Studio 54. Don't need to find Bella, I got everything I need right here." I searched the table for another bottle of Jack, but was interrupted by a girl with wild curly dark hair, dressed like Madonna in the "Like A Virgin" era. Alice whispered something into Jasper's ear and then left the kitchen.

"Hey, there," she said, putting her hand on my shoulder and rubbing it up and down my arm.

"Hello, I'm Edward. What's your name, pretty lady?" _It sure as hell isn't Bella, I'll tell you __**that**_.

"I'm Jessica, and you're looking pretty hot there, hippie boy. Want to dance?"

"Sure." I walked with her into the living room, even though a part of my brain was yelling at me. _It was a misunderstanding! Getting drunk doesn't fix anything!_

_Yeah, well, getting drunk makes it a lot more bearable._

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

"Uh, Bella?" said Alice kind of sheepishly.

"Yeah? What's up? Hey, did you see Edward?" I asked, hoping she could explain his abrupt exit from the room.

"Uh, we need to move closer to my room. I need to ask you something." She grabbed my arm and pulled me off the couch. I grabbed my drink quickly off the table.

Jacob said to Alice, "Hey, I need to ask you something when you get a chance. It has to do with dancing!"

Her eyes lit up for a second, and she smiled back at Jacob as she led me into her room and closed the door behind her.

"Were you kissing Jacob earlier?" she asked, not wasting any time.

"I kissed him on the cheek and was hugging him. We always do that, and you know that." I was confused as to why Alice was upset about my usual behavior with our friend.

"Edward saw. And he doesn't know about our friendship with Jacob, or that he's gay. He thinks you're blowing him off."

"Motherfucker!" I exclaimed, starting to panic. Now his behavior made sense. I totally, completely fucked things up.

"Exactly. He's downed an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in the ten minutes he's been here. Go fix things, now."

I immediately jumped up and out of Alice's room. I had to smooth things over.

I walked through the people in the living room was about to enter the kitchen area when I saw Edward with Jessica Stanley all over him, kissing on his neck and giggling.

_Stanley is a fucking whore. I'm gonna annihilate that bitch_. Ok, time to tone the hostility down a bit.

"Hello, there, Edward," I said to the two. His eyes darted up and saw the fury in my expression.

He started to say something, but I interjected with, "Don't mind me. I'm just here to pick up a bottle." I grabbed the bottle of tequila and took a few swigs.

I started to walk away, but looked back over my shoulder. "By the way? The guy you saw me hanging on is a family friend. A _gay_ family friend. Have a good night, Edward. You, too, Jessica." I walked off into the living room, ready to drink the rest of the night away.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

"Wow, Bella is such a bitch, isn't she?" giggled Jessica next to me. Her hands were rubbing my bare chest, and my head was swimming.

That guy was a friend. A friend who wasn't attracted to girls, no less. I had completely misjudged the situation, made things about twenty million times worse, and was now drunk and all over a girl who wasn't Bella.

Jasper grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Jessica while telling her, "Sorry, Jess, I need to borrow Edward for a few minutes." He led me into a bedroom and closed the door behind us. I stumbled onto the bed.

"Whose room is this, Jazz? I don't want to be caught in Bella's room."

"It's Alice's room, don't worry. Anyway, you need to go fix this. Tell Bella you over-reacted and apologize. That girl's downing a bottle of tequila like it's water, and she's pretty tiny. She'll get sick and it'll be your fault. You don't want that on your conscience, do you?" I shook my head. "Good. Now go make things right."

I left the room and went into the party. There were so many people in the house by this point that I couldn't see Bella anywhere. I walked around and searched for her, circling over and over and occasionally stumbling over my feet.

She looked so enraged when she saw me and Jessica, almost like she was jealous. Plus, she looked incredible. Her dress was so short it barely qualified as a dress, but looked more like a long shirt. Those red vinyl thigh-high boots were something out of a dominatrix fantasy. Her make-up made her eyes look rounder and more innocent. _And you screwed up any chance of getting with her by being a douche._ Bloody fucking hell.

It took me about thirty minutes to find her. She was sitting on a speaker in front of the DJ booth with a now empty bottle in her hand. She leaned backward towards the DJ and almost fell as she whispered into his ear. He smiled at her, nodded, and handed her a microphone as he fiddled with something in the booth. Then the familiar chords of classic Journey started to play from the speakers.

"Just a small town girllllll…. livin' in her loooonely wooorld…. she took the midnight train goin' anywhere," warbled Bella. _I've reduced this poor girl to bad Journey karaoke. I'm a fucking ass._

I made my way over to her as she kept singing. When I was in front of her, she put the microphone down.

"Get the fuck away from me, Edward. I don't need these childish games." Her words were slurring a little. She waved her arms at me in a shooing motion, and lost her balance.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

I was trying to shoo Mr. I'm-Too-Sexy Cullen away from me when I fell over. _Graceful, Swan, can't even move an arm without falling._ I mentally prepared myself for the impact of the floor when I felt arms around me, keeping me from certain injury.

I looked up and was met with emerald eyes. I swallowed, my mouth and throat feeling exceedingly dry. He pulled me up and brought me to my feet, arms wrapped around me. Then he started to sing in my ear.

"Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard… their shadows searching

in the night," he crooned softly, lips brushing my earlobe. I felt a shiver run through me.

"Edward? Can you help me into my room? I don't think I can walk across the house without falling."

He led me through the crowd of people with both arms still around me. I saw Jessica Stanley give me a death glare, and Alice and Jasper beaming at us before embracing each other. Emmett was giving me a confused look, but shrugged and went back to the conversation he was having with a redheaded girl standing next to him. I realized that _everyone _was staring at us, but I guess I'd had enough tequila to make me not care.

Edward opened the door to my room and set me down gently on my bed.

"How did you know which room was mine?" I asked, staring up at him. He really did look remarkable in this outfit. I could see the muscle definition in his lean body, and was incredibly aroused by it. Or maybe it was the tequila talking to my brain, I wasn't sure.

"Lucky guess," he replied, his voice kind of low and husky. We were silent for a couple of seconds.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't know who that guy was until you said something. I over-reacted, and I'm a jackass. Forgive me?" he asked, his eyes pleading me.

"I can forgive you for over-reacting. Getting all up on Jessica 'I'll screw anything with a dick' Stanley is something I have a harder time dealing with."

"I understand. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone now." He turned and started for the door.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. He stopped and turned back around. "I forgive you, okay? Don't leave." I stood up and staggered my way to him, stopping when I was about six inches away from him.

He leaned into me, sliding his right arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want me?"

"Oh, fuck yeah."

He turned me around and moved me backward until my back was against my door.

"Good. I want you, too," he whispered. Then he crushed his lips against mine.

* * *

**A/N:** The title of the chapter comes from the poem "Give Me Women, Wine, and Snuff" by John Keats.

All film directors mentioned are fantastic. Garry Marshall directed _Pretty Woman_. Sam Mendes directed _American Beauty_ and the currently-in-theaters _Away We Go_ (I want to see it so much!) Guillermo del Toro directed the hauntingly beautiful _Pan's Labyrinth_ and the _Hellboy_ movies.

Edward Norton in _Fight Club_ - pure win. Even though Brad had the abs, Ed personified the meaning of sexy to me.

I love the 70's, disco, and _That 70's Show._ Don't hate me for it.

Edward's costume in inspired by Will Swenson in the current Broadway revival of the musical _Hair._ Look it up. You won't be disappointed.

The song Bella sings, for those who can't guess, is "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. It is one of my favorites, and probably the closest thing I have to a personal theme song.

Special shout-out to the Edwardville livejournal community. You guys rock my socks!

Reviews are better than falling into Edward's arms.


	6. Chapter 6: Gravity

More than thanks to R. for being supportive of this hobby that takes away from our phone time. I love you, my penguin. Thanks to faeriemelie, who is leaving soon for school but will always be available to give me silly ideas (at least, I hope.) Thanks to Starrynytex, who is a wonderful friend in addition to being a great beta. I'm sad to see the Sweater Boy go (check out her story _The Boy in the Red Sweater_, I urge you! It's one of the reasons I began writing in the first place.)

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer created these characters. I gave them the alcohol.

* * *

**E POV**

I pushed Bella's back into the door and heard her breathing become more rapid. After I told her I wanted her, I urgently kissed her exquisite mouth, tasting the tequila she'd consumed and a very faint tangy-sweet taste. I placed the hand that wasn't around her waist against the door as her hands grasped the sides of my face. She broke the kiss, only to begin kissing down my jaw and neck. I moaned as she nibbled my earlobe, and she moved her hands down slowly from my face to my chest.

I moved my head so that I could have better access to her neck and began placing slow open-mouth kisses in the curve between her neck and shoulder. She gasped and moaned loudly. Her hands slid back up to my head, and she ripped the wig off my head and tangled her fingers into my hair. I let my hands run up and down her back as my mouth attacked hers again. Her lips were so incredibly soft and yielding to mine, and I couldn't get enough of them. Her tongue darted out from between her lips, and she licked my upper lip. I parted mine and allowed her tongue access. _I could come right now just from kissing her, it's so fucking hot._

Her hands had grasped the edges of my vest, and she'd started sliding it down my arms when I broke the kiss. I let her remove the vest and the necklaces from around my neck. I was feeling so many different things at once: happy that she wasn't pissed anymore, aroused by her appearance and her touches, and kind of dizzy from all of the alcohol I'd consumed.

I said to her, "Turn around," and she complied. I noted that my voice sounded deeper and rougher than it normally did.

I wrapped my arms around her waist to undo the red belt around it, making my movements slow and precise. I could hear her breathing start to get noisier, but I couldn't see any physical changes. When I'd removed the belt, I reached my hands up to the back of her neck and grabbed hold of the zipper.

"Is this okay?" I asked her, hoping she would say yes.

She gulped and replied in a tone barely above a whisper, "Yes."

I lowered the zipper of her dress as slowly as I had removed the belt. She shivered when the zipper grazed her skin, and I could see a smattering of goosebumps on her shoulders. She stepped away from me and turned around, lowering the dress off her arms before lowering the dress to the ground and stepping out of it.

She stood before me wearing black lace undergarments and red thigh-high boots. I had never seen anything so visually appealing before, and I had to stop myself from pouncing her like a fifteen year old virgin.

"Should we move to the bed?" she asked softly, her eyes glowing like a russet fire.

I reached out to take her hand and led her to her bed. We both sat down on it, and she began to remove her boots. She kept her eyes on me as she lowered the zippers on both boots and rolled the tops down so she could comfortably lift her feet out. The skin of her legs was glistening slightly from the perspiration caused by her movements in the vinyl. I leaned over and stroked one finger from the top of her foot all the way up her leg to the middle of her thigh. She threw her arms around my neck and brought her lips to mine.

We ravaged each other's mouths even more completely than we had before. She moved from her place seated beside me and proceeded to straddle me, her lips never missing a beat. My hands slid up her back and began to undo the strap of her bra. She moaned into my mouth, and I took that as encouragement. Once the snaps released, she pulled away, letting the black lace fall off of her shoulders and down her arms until the garment was removed completely.

Her breasts were absolutely perfect. They were full, not too large and not too small. They were perky, and the skin was the same almost-translucent coloring as the rest of her. There was a very faint flush on the tops, and I smiled, loving how the rosy color looked there.

My hands gently brushed over her breasts, moving gradually across them until my thumbs ran over her nipples. She gave a contented sigh and ground her hips into mine. The friction was staggering, and my thumbs began to flit quickly across the nipples, hoping she'd give me more of that delicious feeling. When she did, I groaned, and rolled her onto her back so that we could continue with our passionate advances.

Unfortunately, when I rolled her, her body slid off of the edge of the bed, and she fell to the floor with a sudden bang.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked, horrified at my clumsiness.

She whimpered a little as she rolled onto her side and rubbed where she landed. "Ooooooooow, my ass!" she complained as her hand rubbed a circle on her delectable derrière.

The sight of her wearing only black lace panties rubbing her ass and drunkenly trying to get back to her feet was too much for me, and I started to laugh.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

Edward and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and all of a sudden my ass was bruised. I had the worst luck ever, especially when I realized that Edward was laughing at me.

"What the fuck is your problem? You rolled me onto the floor, you jerk. I'm going to have a bruise the size of fucking Canada on my ass now," I spit at him, perturbed that he had found my misfortune amusing.

"Come on, sweetheart, I'll help you up," he said as he stood up, still chuckling.

"Fuck no! I can get up myself." I got to my knees and wobbled around a little before pitching forward into Edward's shins.

He lifted me up underneath my shoulders and held me close to his body. I could feel his erection against my hip, and I my blood started to boil again.

"Now, where were we?" I asked in my most seductive tone.

"How much did you drink, Bella?" he asked, his eyes now full of concern.

"I don't really remember," I answered truthfully.

"Exactly. I don't think this is the best of ideas. I don't want to be even more of a jackass and take advantage of the cute, inebriated girl." He set me back down on the bed, and this time I didn't fall. _Well, at least you didn't fall three times tonight._

"Why do you have to be all…upstanding and sensitive? I want you to take advantage of me! I'm raring to go over here!" I exclaimed, desperate to feel that erection without the clothing in the way. I reached my hands out to the button of his pants, but he swatted them away.

"Not gonna happen, Swan, at least not tonight. If you decide to go on another date with me, I promise I'll let you bring me home and ravage me," he teased, his eyes twinkling like lights on a Christmas tree.

"Whatever." I crossed my arms over my bare chest and pouted, hoping in vain that it would change his mind.

"Well, I'm going to get out of your hair. I'll talk to you tomorrow." He picked up his discarded clothing and headed for the door.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?" he asked as he turned back around.

"Would you stay and, like, cuddle with me? I don't want to go back out to the party, but I don't really want to be alone."

He smiled softly and said, "Sure. Just put a shirt on or something."

I gave him a devilish grin, uncrossed my arms, and set them down at my sides as I pushed my chest out.

"Now, Bella, that's just not fair. I'm trying to be a good guy here, and you're making it mighty difficult."

"Alright, fine," I said as I slowly stood up without stumbling. I walked just as slowly to my dresser and found a T-shirt and a pair of sleep shorts to wear. I slipped them on as quickly as possible, trying to ignore Edward's blazing stare.

When I turned back around, I saw that Edward had moved to sitting on my bed, still wearing his jeans.

"You know, you can take the jeans off, if you want. I promise I won't try anything tonight," I said, hoping he'd be comfortable enough to sleep next to me while in his underwear. _I wonder if he's wearing boxers or briefs?_

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down. He was wearing black boxer briefs, and I could see the outline of his still-hard cock. On the inside, I was shrieking excitedly at the top of my lungs. _It's only a matter of time, Swan. _

I excused myself to go into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I did that as quickly as I could, hoping that Edward wasn't feeling too uncomfortable. When I was finished, I walked back into my room while I brushed my hair. I wasn't watching my movements, and I banged my knee on my desk.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked, getting up from his seated position on my bed quickly as he kneeled down next to me.

"Yeah, it's fine. I'm normally really clumsy anyway, but adding in tequila makes it a lot worse."

"I'll help you out then." He stood up, and while leaning forward, put one arm behind my knees and one arm across my shoulders, and scooped me up. He carried me to the bed and gently laid me down before climbing in on the other side.

We laid in the bed above the covers, both of us lying on our backs and staring at the ceiling. It was awkward, but neither of us broke the silence. I decided to scoot closer to Edward, and he put an arm around my shoulders and under my neck, pulling me closer to him. We snuggled there with my head on his chest and my leg draped over his knees, and we quickly fell asleep.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

I awoke from what seemed like a long slumber, and opened my eyes to gaze upon an unfamiliar room. I wondered where I was for a second before I felt the stirring of the warm body on top of mine. _Bella, _I thought, a content feeling spreading through my body as I remembered the kisses and caresses of the night before. She stirred some more against me, opening her eyes and focusing in on my face.

"Good morning, Isabella," I said softly, lifting my hand to stroke her cheek. She blushed and dropped her gaze when our skin made contact.

"You look like a fucking Calvin Klein ad. How do you do that?" she asked in a voice even softer than mine.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, crazy girl. Besides, I'm not the only one who woke up on the sexy side of the bed this morning." I moved my hand off her cheek and stroked a section of midriff left exposed during the night by her pulled-up shirt.

She giggled and laid a soft, quick kiss on my lips before laying her head back down on my chest. She sighed as she stroked the skin of my bare stomach. I gave a soft moan at her touch.

Then she sat up quickly, a look of panic on her face.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked, not sure what had just happened.

She jumped off the bed and ran into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her. I sat up to follow her, but when I moved, my head erupted in pain. _Fuck, I've got a hang-over._

I heard the unmistakable sounds of vomiting and Bella cursing from the bathroom. I wasn't the only one feeling the effects of last night. I slowly got up and walked to the door, knocking on it with my knuckles.

"Bella? You need any help?" I asked, praying that she didn't but knowing that if she wanted, I'd hold her hair back for her. _You are so fucking whipped, and you haven't even gotten past second base._

"Ugh, no." I heard the sounds of running water.

"Hey, where is the aspirin? I'll get you some and a glass of water." _And I'll get some for me, while I'm there._

"In the kitchen. Thanks." I walked out of her room and into the living room, looking at the disarray the house had been left in. There were bottles upon bottles everywhere, and the DJ booth was still set up. I saw a couple of purses lying next to the front door, and wondered where the owners of said purses were. I noticed a stairwell between the kitchen and the living room, so I figured maybe they were sleeping off the previous night in a room upstairs.

I walked into the kitchen and froze. A large, burly-looking man was there, humming to himself while he stirred what looked to be pancake batter in a large silver bowl. He was wearing an apron that said, "Is that a sausage on my grill, or am I just happy to see you?"

I tried to back away quietly, but the floorboard squeaked below me. He looked up and saw me, and I winced, praying to God, Jesus, and whoever else up there liked me that this guy wasn't Bella's brother.

"Who the fuck are you, and why are you in my kitchen?" he asked as he set the bowl down.

"Ummm…m-m-my name's Edward. I was here for the party last night, and was too drunk to drive home," I replied, hoping that my excuse was a plausible one.

"Yeah, and you've been fucking my sister all night, too, I bet. I saw you take her into her room." _Fuck, this guy's Bella's brother._

"Are you Emmett? It's nice to meet you." I extended my hand out, hoping he'd shake it. He ignored me, and I put my hand down, feeling like a total dork.

"Yes, I'm Emmett, and you better explain to me why you're sneaking around my house in your undergarments." I looked down, realizing I'd never put my jeans back on. _Motherfucker, this guy's going to kill you._

"Um, Bella's sick. I came in here to get her some aspirin and a glass of water." _Please don't murder me, I didn't do anything to your sister. Well, except get some boob action, but please don't kill me!_

"I'll take care of it. You better be dressed and out of my fucking house in the next thirty seconds, or I'm going to get my shotgun out and shoot you in the nuts. Our dad's a police chief, and I learned guns at an early age. I never miss a target. You didn't even have the decency to try and mack on her when I wasn't around, you arrogant prick."

"B-b-but I didn't sleep with her. We kissed and decided to go to sleep, I swear!" I could hear the panic and terror in my voice, and I was sure that the giant man in front of me could, too.

"I don't give a fuck. Get out of my house and stay away from my sister. You have eighteen seconds."

I darted to Bella's room, frantically searching for my clothing. I had just slipped the sandals back on my feet when Bella emerged from the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" she asked, looking perplexed.

"Your brother caught me in the kitchen, and he's going to kill me if I don't leave."

She laughed and yelled across the house, "Emmett Dean McCarty, get in here!"

"What the fuck are you doing?" I exclaimed. She was going to have her brother kill me in front of her for sick, twisted amusement, I was sure of it.

Emmett came in with a huge grin on his face and leaned against the door frame. "I'm sorry, Bells, it was too easy. Besides, Jasper was the one who told me I should do that to him." He turned towards me. "I'm sorry for fucking with you, man. I didn't realize you'd take it so seriously." He extended his hand out for a handshake, and I grasped it, releasing the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. _It was all a fucking joke. A joke Jasper suggested. Fucking Jasper._

"I'm sorry to interrupt this guy bonding moment, but I'm hungover and starving. Are you making pancakes, Em?" asked Bella.

"Of course I am. Don't I always when you and Alice have been drinking? And you really need them after the tequila you drank last night," he replied, the love and concern for his sister plain in his eyes.

"Awesome. I'll be out in a few minutes." With that, Emmett left the room. Then Bella turned to me. "You can follow Emmett, now that you have pants on." She giggled to herself, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. "I promise he won't bite. Can't promise I won't though." She dismissed me with a long, lingering kiss, and I noticed that she tasted minty and amazing. The wonders of mouthwash.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

My life was starting to get a little surreal.

Last night I drank a bottle of tequila to drown the sorrows of seeing Edward all over Jessica. Then I find out he was drunk and kickin' it with sluts because he saw me kiss my gay male friend on the cheek, not knowing that the friend was gay. Then we almost have sex, but I fall off the bed and get injured. Then we sleep next to each other and wake up all blissed out before I have to go puke in the bathroom. When I get done decontaminating my mouth, I find Edward about to run for the door like a chick in a slasher movie because Emmett was teasing him and he didn't realize it. Now I was eating pancakes with Edward seated next to me in jeans with no shirt, Alice wearing a Tinker Bell floor-length night gown, Jasper in his boxers and one of Alice's oversized Incubus T-shirts, and Emmett on my other side wearing a ridiculous apron with an inappropriate sexual innuendo on it.

_You should just write your memoirs for a book. Your reality is starting to make less sense than your fiction,_ I thought to myself as I took another bite of pancake. Edward was talking animatedly with Jasper and Emmett about a video game called _Half-Life 2_, and I had no idea what the hell was happening.

"Gordon Freeman is seriously my favorite video game character of all time," said Emmett with his mouth full.

"He's pretty awesome, but I still have mad love for the old-school characters. You know, Mario, Link, etc. and so on," said Jasper, fork poised over his plate.

"Hey, have either of you guys played _Bioshock_ yet? I've heard really good things, but haven't gotten around to playing it yet," said Edward.

"Yes! Oh my God, it was so awesome. The Little Sisters freaked me out, though," exclaimed Emmett.

"Okay, guys, enough with the video game talk. There are chicks at the table," said Alice, winking at me.

"Yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about. Well, that's a lie, I know who Mario and Link are, but everything else just sounded like gibberish to me," I added.

"Sorry, ladies. I haven't really had many guys around to talk to, though, especially since I've pretty much become your bitch since you started this new book, Bella," said Emmett. I punched him in the arm playfully.

"Yeah, well, I'm the one paying the bills here, the least you could do is contribute to making my life easy," I told him, giving him a huge grin and a kiss on the cheek.

"Watch it! You got syrup all over my face!"

We all laughed, and Edward reached over and grabbed my hand under the table. I looked over at him and squeezed it. The situation seemed incredibly right to me, and I wondered if maybe I was too quick to thinking that all I wanted was sex from this guy. He seemed to have a good heart, and I hoped to learn more about him in the days and weeks to come.

When breakfast was over, Alice and Jasper decided to go to the movies after Jasper stopped by his place and changed clothes. Jasper left his car and rode with Alice so that Edward would have a way home if he needed it. Edward asked Emmett to borrow a shirt after Jasper left, and Emmett kindly obliged, winking at me and making obscene gestures with his hands behind Edward's back as he slipped the plain green shirt on. _At least Emmett didn't give him one of the shirts with the dirty sayings on them._

Edward and I settled in and decided to watch a movie, but couldn't decide on which one.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asked as he sprawled across the couch.

"I really want to watch _The Never-ending Story_. I haven't watched it in a while. Is that okay with you?" I asked as I browsed our DVD shelf. We had a lot of DVDs, and they were organized , as per Alice's guidelines, by genre, then by year, then alphabetically in that year.

"I'm in more of an action-adventure mood. I don't know, maybe I should look and see what you have," he said as he got up to stand next to me. He put his arm around my shoulders, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He silently looked through the DVD titles, his eyebrows scrunching up a little. He finally chose a DVD, and saw that his choice was _Death Proof._

"Is this one okay?" he asked, looking down into my eyes. His eyes were startling as I held the full weight of his gaze, and I realized that the shirt was the exact same color. I wondered if Emmett had chosen the shirt on purpose.

"_Death Proof _is fine. Quentin Tarantino is one of my favorite directors," I replied.

"He's one of mine, too." He walked over to the couch and sat down while I put the DVD in the player and set things up. Then I went to the couch and laid down with my head in Edward's lap.

We watched the whole movie in this position in complete silence. The only time the silence was broken was when we sang along to the songs playing in the movie, and Edward remarked how I was pretty good when I wasn't drunk.

"By the way, do you always sing 'Don't Stop Believin' when you're drunk?" he asked, his fingers softly weaving themselves in and out of my hair.

"No, I don't sing in public at all. I was too drunk to care that I'm afraid of crowds. The song was chosen because it's pretty much my favorite song."

"Ah." His fingers continued to move through my hair and massage my scalp. We finished the movie without another word.

"Well, I'm going to go ahead and get home, Bella. I have some composing to get done," he said as we stood up and stretched.

"Oh? Did you start something new?" I asked, excited that he had finally gotten started again.

"Yeah, and I need to work on it before the notes are out of my head, if you don't mind. Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked, his eyes glittering with hope.

"I'm sorry, I need to get some writing done. I had a hard time getting pages done, so I need to work extra hard."

"That's okay. How about tomorrow night?"

"I kind of have a program I watch then. Have you ever heard of _True Blood_?"

"Nope."

"It's, like, the best thing on television right now. It's on HBO. Do you have HBO?"

"Nope."

"Ah, well, if you want you can borrow my DVD of the first season. It's really great, I promise you. Lots of sex and violence and humor, and there's vampires." I walked over to the DVD shelf and pulled it down.

"Sounds like fun." He smiled.

"Now, be really careful with these DVDs. They're extra special to me." I handed over the set to him, and he had a thoughtful look on his face.

"Well, if that's the case, come out to Jasper's car with me."

I followed him out the door and to the car. He opened the driver's door, and rummaged in the middle for something. I took the opportunity to stare at his masterfully sculpted ass in the fairly tight jeans.

"Here," he said, handing me an iPod.

"Wait a second, you can't give me an iPod in exchange for DVDs. That's just crazy. I'm clumsy and I'll lose it." I debated telling him about the fact that I've gone through about three iPods in the past year.

He kissed my forehead and grinned the panty-dropping half smirk. "I trust you. Plus, that's just one of my iPods."

"You have two?" I squeaked.

"Yeah, the one that's at home has classical music on it - you know, operas, symphonies, choral masterworks, etc. - and this one has everything else on it. I don't mind if you listen to it, if you want to. Do you have an iPod charger?" I nodded. "Good. Just think of it as another peek into my soul."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me long and hard. My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, keeping him close to me.

"I'll see you later, Isabella," he said when the kiss was over. Then he got into the car and left.

I went back into the house and reveled in the events of the past twenty-four hours. This man was frustrating and infuriating and sexy and intelligent and thoughtful. He had good taste in movies, and I was about to find out his taste in music. I sighed to myself, wondering where the hell my interactions with Edward Cullen were headed, and if I wanted them to head in that direction.

My cell phone beeped from my room, and I went to the nightstand it was resting on to look at the message I had received.

_I miss you already, beautiful. Hope to see you soon._

_E_

I smiled to myself and typed him a message back.

_I miss you too. See you Tuesday?_

_B_

Emmett walked into my room and saw me grinning like an idiot. "You know, Bells, you usually have terrible taste in men, but I like this one. Keep him around for a while." He walked over to me and gave me a bear hug. "Just make sure he wears pants when he's roaming the house in the morning." I laughed at him, and he released me and went upstairs to his room. _I'll see what I can do, Emmett. I think I'd like to keep him around, too.

* * *

_

**A/N: **The title of this chapter comes from the song "Gravity" by A Perfect Circle.

Emmett's apron is real, and available for purchase online somewhere (I don't remember where.)

_Half-Life 2_ and _Bioshock_ are real video games that I've never played. I've watched R. play _Half-Life 2_ and enjoyed the experience, but all information about _Bioshock_ comes from him. However, I have played Mario and Zelda games, and I love them.

_The Never-ending Story_ will always be my favorite 1980's children's fantasy movie. My first crush was on Atreyu, and I still cry when Artax lets The Sadness take him. Quentin Tarantino is a wonderful director with a great flair for dialogue and music choices in his films.

Another _True Blood_ reference! I'm a little, tiny bit obsessed with the show (and Alexander Skarsgard's biceps.)

Shout-out to the Edwardville livejournal community for the cute banner for my last update and for generally being awesome. Another shout-out to the IMDB crew (you know who you are, and I love you ladies!)

Reviews are tastier than pancakes eaten off of Edward's bare stomach. What are your favorite movies?


	7. Chapter 7: I Sing the Body Electric

Thanks to R. for sharing me (sometimes begrudgingly) with you. He deserves a medal. Thanks to faeriemelie for her support of my hobby even if she hates the fandom. Thanks to Starrynytex for being the best beta a girl could ask for and a lovely friend.

Disclaimer: The characters are owned by S. Meyer. I torture them with prankster older brothers.

* * *

**E POV**

Sunday was boring. I got about twenty measures finished in my new composition and I watched four episodes of the show Bella had lent me. It was interesting and unlike anything I had ever seen before. I was willing to watch more, but decided to take a break and try to write some more music. Jasper spent the day catching up on some work stuff, so I was by myself most of the day.

At around seven PM I received a text message from Bella.

_Dinner at my place tomorrow night. Be here at 7. Bring a change of clothes, might go swimming._

_B_

I quickly sent her a reply, which read:

_What are you making? I'll bring a bottle of wine._

_E_

Her response came a few minutes later.

_Bring whatever you like. I'm making fettucine alfredo._

_B_

I was pleased to hear that she'd decided to cook my favorite food. I looked through the wine collection Jasper had accumulated through various business deals and found a red wine I liked and thought would suit the meal even though cream sauces are supposed to be paired with white wine. I never followed those rules and just drank whatever I liked with my meals. Jasper came in as I set it on the counter.

"Feeling like a toast or something?" he asked.

"Nah, I'm picking out a wine for dinner with Bella tomorrow. Also, you never told me they had a pool," I said, leaning against the counter.

"Alice doesn't use it too much because the chlorine makes her nauseated. I forget sometimes that it's in the backyard. I'm guessing she told you to bring a change of clothes?"

"Yeah. Oh, I wanted to ask you something."

"Keep Alice out of the house that night?"

"Please. Do you think you can keep Emmett out too?"

"I'll call Alice and ask her to drop a not-so subtle hint. You planning on some romantic love-making by the fire or some shit?"

"Not really planning, no, but if it happens I don't want Emmett and Alice seeing my ass. I'd never live it down."

"Dude, they don't even have a fireplace. You're safe."

"Still, could you?"

"Not a problem."

My cell phone rang and I saw that I had a call from Bella. "Hey, Jazz, sorry to cut our quality time a little short, but I've gotta take this."

"S'ok. I need to call Al, remember?" He walked out of the kitchen and to his room while I answered my phone.

"Hey, Bella, what's up?"

"I'm sitting here going through your iPod, and I wanted to know the name of the first song you and Jasper played at the show where we met."

I chuckled a little and replied, "It's called 'The Hazards of Love 1 (The Prettiest Whistles Won't Wrestle The Thistles Undone)' by The Decemberists."

"I've never heard of that band before. I've never heard of a lot of the artists on your iPod. I am impressed with the stuff I am familiar with, though."

"Like what?"

"Well, I am a very big fan of A Perfect Circle. Most of it has to do with Maynard Keenan's voice, though. It has this irresistible quality to me."

"I've been told that I kind of sound like him."

"That's why I didn't leave the bar that night. I was about to leave because I was getting a headache and I was tired, but then you started singing and I had to find out where the voice was coming from." I could almost hear her blushing. I was also delighted to hear that she was so attracted to my singing.

"I'm glad you stayed, Bella."

"Me, too."

"You have any other questions about my music?" I was curious as to what other bands and artists she enjoyed. I knew from her admission of liking A Perfect Circle that she leaned to the heavier side of rock.

"No, not at the moment. I'm just kind of browsing the list right now. I'll probably put it on shuffle and see what happens."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Will you want the iPod back tomorrow?"

"No, you can hold onto it for a few more days. I'm not finished with your DVDs."

"Ok. Well, I guess I'll talk to you later, then."

"Alright. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward." I hung up the phone.

I went into my room and did a little more composing before I went to sleep. It was amazing to feel the music flow out of me, and I wondered if maybe it'd been inspired by Bella Swan.

(*)(*)(*)(*)

I was anxious the entire day before going over to Bella's. I couldn't concentrate on my composing, so I decided to watch some more of the show Bella lent me. It was fascinating, so I noted that I'd have to commend Bella on her good taste.

At five 'o clock I got ready. I dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a dark green short sleeve button-down. I picked out another pair of jeans and a red T-shirt to change into in case we went swimming. I also packed an extra T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants just in case I was given sleep-over privileges. _Good job on planning ahead. Don't forget the condoms._

I grabbed the bottle of wine off of the counter and headed out. I drove to her house listening to _Samson et Dalila, _hoping that it would help calm me down, but it didn't. The sounds of "Amour viens aider ma faiblesse" swirled around me, and I was anxious, nervous, excited, and scared, all because I _might_ have sex with this girl tonight. I felt like I did when I lost my virginity. _And that night was a complete debacle. Hopefully you'll last longer than two thrusts this time._

I finally arrived at her house and knocked on the door. I waited there for about a minute before she answered the door, looking a little frazzled. She was wearing a crazy mish-mash of clothing that seemed to work in its insanity. A white _Labyrinth_ T-shirt that had been ripped into strategic shreds adorned her torso, and it was paired with a short dark denim skirt. Her legs were swathed in hot pink fishnet stockings, and on her feet were almost knee-high stiletto boots that were white with a black lace design on them. She looked unbelievably sexy, and she was now looking at me like she was about to have a panic attack.

"Hi! Come on in," she said, turning on her heel and briskly walking towards the kitchen. I followed her in after I set my bag of belongings down by the front door, and saw the kitchen counters were in complete disarray.

"Do you need any help?" I asked her, setting the bottle of wine down on a clear spot on the counter.

"No! I can handle it myself. I had a mishap with the garlic bread, is all. I got distracted by something," she said, giving me a weak smile.

"What distracted you?" I asked, moving closer and closer to her slowly.

"I was reading _Lolita _again, and I forgot to set a timer." I had stopped just in front of her, and her arms slipped around my waist.

"Well, Nabokov will do that to you. Did it burn?" I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and bent down to leave a trail of feather-light kisses on the side of her neck.

"Uh, n-no… it just threw me for a loop and I started panicking, and now I can't concentrate because you're kissing my sweet spot." She tried to pull away, but my arms held her tightly against me.

"Oh, really? I didn't know that this was your sweet spot." I nibbled a little on the skin that I had been kissing, and she gave a throaty moan. I was instantly hard.

"Edward, I need to finish dinner," she said, her voice sounding just as throaty as her moan did.

I released my hold on her and leaned back on one of the counters. "If you insist."

She smiled at me and turned her attention back to her preparations. I watched as she stirred the boiling noodles and the simmering sauce at the same time. After a few seconds, she turned to another counter and took a bunch of cut-up lettuce to a bowl filled with other vegetables. She poured a vinaigrette dressing over it and tossed it lightly, winking at me. I winked back, knowing that she was thinking the exact same thought I had been. _Tossing the salad, hur-hur._

"Edward, why don't you go watch something on TV? I want to set this up and stuff without your prying eyes," she said as she turned back to the pots on the stove. I obeyed her request and went into the living room. Instead of watching TV, however, I walked to the stereo system next to the TV. I picked up the iPod sitting in the dock of the system and browsed through it, realizing almost immediately that it was mine. I searched through the list of artists until I found the specific song I was looking for and set it back in the dock. I pressed play and waited for Bella's reaction.

She peeked her head out at me and asked, "Lacuna Coil?"

"Yup. You like them?"

"Love them. I have a slight lesbian crush on Cristina Scabbia." The mental images of Bella and Cristina in a tight embrace made my hard-on even more unbearable. I decided to let Bella know what she was doing to me.

"Interesting. You do realize you've given me mental pictures, right?"

"Oh, yeah." With that, she turned back to her work in the kitchen.

I chuckled to myself and sang along with the male singer of the band. I sat down on the couch with my eyes closed and let the music wash over me. About three songs finished before Bella called for me to come outside.

I wasn't sure how to get to her backyard, but she was there in an instant, grabbing my hand and leading me to a room next to her bedroom. The room contained a bunch of patio furniture and a grill, and on one side of the room there was a sliding glass door. She led me through the door and walked over to a table about five feet away. The table was underneath an awning, and about four feet away from the table was the edge of a large swimming pool. It was in a odd shape that I couldn't distinguish, and there was a waterfall over some rocks on one side. On the opposite end of the rocks was a diving board and a large slide.

Bella snapped her fingers in front of my face and moved to stand next to the table. She put her arms up to present her meal and said softly, "Ta-da."

I walked over to the table and sat down. There were two plates in front of me: one containing a colorful salad and one with the pasta on it. There was a basket in the middle of the table that contained a half-loaf of bread. There was both a wine glass and a water glass at my place setting, and the bottle of wine was sitting on the opposite end of the table from me next to a sterling silver pitcher.

"This looks really good, Isabella," I said, smiling warmly at her. I picked up a fork that was next to my plate and took a bite of the salad. It was zesty and full of an assortment of flavors that complemented each other. When I swallowed that bite, I sampled the pasta and found the noodles to be perfectly cooked and the sauce to be a pleasant blend of cheeses and spices.

"Bella, this is amazing! Where did you learn to cook like this?" I asked, reaching for the wine bottle.

She took the wine bottle out of my hands and uncorked it, pouring me a glass as she said, "I learned quickly out of necessity. My mother passed away when I was young, and I needed to figure out how to cook so that my father, brother, and I didn't have to survive on sandwiches. As I got older, I found I really enjoyed cooking and began to learn how to do everything from scratch."

"I'm sorry about your mother. How old were you?" I was wondering where this serious turn would take our date, and I hoped that I could cheer her up.

"I was eight. Emmett was eleven. I don't remember too much about her anymore, just that she was kind of scatter-brained and a really loving, caring person. She made everyone feel loved. She'd like you." She smiled at me, and I quickly changed the subject.

"So, what else of my music collection did you listen to?"

"Well, I listened to a lot of your musicals. You have a lot for a supposed straight man. Are you sure you're not just hiding in the closet?" she teased, leaning over to me as she chewed a bite of pasta.

"I can show you exactly how straight I am, Isabella," I replied as I leaned over and licked a small speck of pasta sauce off of her lips. We smiled at each other and finished our meal in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. She was the first person I'd ever felt truly comfortable with when everything was quiet.

Bella picked up the plates from the table, refusing my offer to help her.

"I'm just going to stick them in the sink and let them soak. I'll be right back, so don't move a muscle." She took the plates and headed back inside, closing the sliding glass door behind her.

I sat there and waited for her, noting that she had turned a speaker of some sort on because music was now playing outside. She had turned on a musical soundtrack that I recognized immediately as _Next to Normal. _I thought to myself, _I guess she really liked this one._

I heard the sliding glass open, and Bella emerged wearing only a light blue lace bra and matching boy shorts.

"Want to go for a swim?" she asked lightly.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

Edward's eyes widened as he took in the sight of me in my underwear. _One point for Swan_, I thought to myself.

"Well?" I asked, moving out of the doorway and pushing the sliding glass door closed.

He stood up and unbuttoned his shirt quickly. My eyes scanned over the muscles of his torso, reveling in the quiet strength of them as he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He leaned over to remove his shoes and socks before lowering his pants to reveal another pair of mouth-watering boxer briefs. _Thank God for tight underwear on men. _

He stepped forward, his arm outstretched towards me. I took his hand, and we walked to the edge of the pool.

"On three," he said, his eyes fixed on mine.

"One…" I said.

"Two…"

"Three!" we both exclaimed as we jumped into the pool. The water splashed around us, cold and exhilarating. I was immediately thankful that Emmett took the time to clean the pool earlier today. I had wanted to get Edward wet and gleaming for a while.

He and I swam around each other for a little bit, not daring to touch each other quite yet. He climbed out and headed towards the diving board, waving at me. I waved back as he stepped to the edge of the board. He did a complete somersault in the air before diving gracefully into the water. He swam all the way up to me and tugged my ankle as he came up to the surface.

"Hey, there!" I exclaimed, splashing water into his face.

He splashed me, and we began a splash fight, holding arms up to defend ourselves from the other's splashes and striking when the moment was opportune. Finally, he swam up to me, ignoring my splashes, and pulled me body into his.

"Hi," he said quietly before pressing his lips to mine. He kept the kiss soft and quick, but my pulse sped up regardless, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Hi, yourself," I replied, wrapping my legs around his waist and giving him a much more passionate kiss. My tongue traced his lips, and his mouth yielded to mine, allowing me to massage my tongue against his. He tasted like the wine he had brought, and my head swam with the sensations I felt. Heat was spreading across my body even though the water was freezing.

When my lungs ran out of oxygen, I broke the kiss, biting his lower lip a little as I moved away.

"You are amazing, you know that, right?" he said breathlessly, his hands sliding up and down my back as his legs kicked wildly, trying to keep us above the water.

"I've been told." I pulled myself off of him and swam backward a few strokes. I felt a few drops on my face and wondered if Edward was trying to splash me, so I opened my eyes. The sky was not completely dark yet, so I was able to see the storm clouds headed in our direction.

Edward had gone back to the diving board and was mid-air doing a flip when I'd opened my eyes, so I waited for him to swim back to me before I told him my theory.

"Edward, I think it's going to rain," I said.

"Nah, it'll just sprinkle a couple of drops and blow over. Don't worry about it."

"Edward, do you have a nickname of any kind? I feel so formal saying your full first name when you have options in what you address me." He backstroked a little bit before turning around and backstroking in my direction.

"Jasper calls me 'E.' Other than that, I don't like the nicknames for 'Edward.'" He was floating on his back now.

I swam around him a little bit, starting in a wide circle and spiraling closer and closer. Suddenly the clouds opened up and started pouring rain on us.

"I knew it!" I shrieked at him, lunging towards him so that I landed on his stomach. He moved out of the way in time and grabbed my wrist as he turned, pulling me onto his back. I wrapped my arm around his neck and let him pull me until we got to the edge of the pool before I shimmied out of his grip and jumped out of the pool.

I ran into the grass on the other side of the backyard and yelled at Edward, "Come dance with me!" I turned my face to the sky and let the rain fall on my face. I lifted my arms into the air and spun in circles until I felt two hands seize my shoulders.

I turned around and slithered out of his reach. "Come on!" I cried out, skipping around and holding my hands out to him. He watched me for a moment, a massive grin slowly spreading across his face. Then he ran over to me and grabbed hold of my hands, spinning in circles and twirling me around.

He picked me up and slung me over his shoulder, still spinning like a whirling dervish. I laughed and shrieked, kicking my feet. He set me down, and I ran around the back yard, thankful for its large size. Moments like these wouldn't have been as fun if the running space was tiny. He chased me around the yard, laughing and yelling along with me. He caught me eventually and pulled me to him, one arm around my waist and one framing the side of my face. _This is like a movie. This can't be real._

"Isabella," he whispered, his breath hot against the cold dampness on my skin. His eyes were full of a dark intensity I had never seen before. His lips touched mine, and I swear I felt electric sparks everywhere our skin touched. His lips were both cold and hot, as if they couldn't decide to take on the properties of his body or of the water on his skin.

My hands moved up to hold his face in my hands as our kiss deepened. His hand moved from my face to my back, and I was suddenly very aware of my state of undress. His hands were stroking the skin of my lower back, and I shivered.

"Cold?" asked Edward after our kiss had broken. The intensity in his eyes was drowning me, and I was filled with a great sense of anticipation.

I nodded. "A little."

"Let's go inside." He picked me up like he had the night of the party and walked towards the house.

(*)(*)(*)(*)

I was standing in my room, still wearing my wet undergarments and feeling very cold. Edward had set me down in here and run to get the bag that he had brought with him after we had toweled off a bit. We were extra careful not to touch each other or look at the other person, and it felt strange but exceedingly sexually-charged. The fact that we had kept the lights off and had only the dusky sky to help us didn't help matters. I kept my eyes closed, let the expectant feeling wash over me. _You're going to have sex with him tonight, _I thought to myself, and the feelings of arousal and excitement that bubbled inside me were almost too much to bear. I noticed that the music had shut off abruptly and knew that Edward was on his way back to my room. My heart sped up, and I realized my breath was panting a little.

"Bella?" I heard behind me. I turned around and saw Edward in my doorway. He stepped forward, dropping his bag to the floor and shutting the door behind him. We stood there facing each other, both of us staring with gluttonous eyes. I moved my hands behind my back and unsnapped my bra, letting it slide down my arms. I heard Edward's breath catch in his throat. I hooked my fingers into the band of my underwear and slid them down my legs, avoiding Edward's eyes. When I was standing upright again, I saw that Edward had mirrored my motions and was standing before me in his full nude glory.

The sight of Edward completely naked in the fading light from my window was mind-boggling. I could feel warm wetness mingling with the cold moisture of the water between my legs as I stared upon each lean muscle of his body. His erection was plainly visible, and he looked pretty sizable to me. _Sizable, my ass. He's hung like a horse._

He said my name again, and my eyes flitted back up to his face. He was smiling gently at me, and before I could comprehend what was happening, I was in his arms and kissing him fervently. I was careful to keep my hands running over his chest and not lower while his hands caressed the skin of my back and shoulders. His hands felt hot on my skin, and they seemed so much bigger than when we were outside. He started walking me backward toward the bed, but I stopped him.

"Not the bed. I don't want to get it wet and chlorinated," I said, my voice revealing the sexual tension I felt in every part of my body.

"Where?" asked Edward, his hands resting on the small of my back as he planted kisses up and down the side of my neck. I moaned loudly.

"Ah… oh… um, the floor," I finally responded.

He held my body close as he moved to his knees, my body moving with his. He leaned me backward slowly, making sure my body didn't hit the ground too hard.

He stared at me for a moment, eyes full of desire and fear, then asked, "Are you sure you want this?"

"Absolutely. Come here." He complied to my request.

His hands were everywhere, stroking over my breasts, stomach and hips. Everywhere he touched he left what felt like small flames, making me feel like every nerve ending on my body was firing up at once. My hands wove themselves into Edward's hair as he kept touching my skin as if he wasn't sure where to go next. I could barely keep track of the sensations.

Eventually he focused on my right breast, cupping it in his hand and slowly rolling the nipple with his thumb. He chuckled when I cried out, then tenderly surrounded it with his mouth. He licked and sucked and nipped, and I writhed against him, feeling unknown amounts of pleasure from his ministrations. No one had ever touched me like that on my breasts, and it was unlike any other feeling I'd had before. He turned his attention to my other breast, repeating the same touches. I moaned and sighed, bucking my hips up into his stomach. He looked up at me with the crooked smirk, and I knew I was in trouble.

He moved up and aligned his hips against mine while his hand slowly moved down my stomach and lower. He looked at me, silently asking for permission. I gulped and nodded. His hand slid between my legs. I gasped, unable to contain how good the feeling was. He slowly slid two fingers in as his thumb inched towards the bundle of nerves that so ached for contact. When the thumb made contact, I spoke his name clearly, my voice sounding ragged. He looked into my eyes as he continued his movements, watching my reactions to every move he made. His fingers were hitting a sensitive spot that had never been touched before by a man, and I was lost in the feelings of pleasure and passion.

Eventually he moved away from me and scrambled across the floor to his bag as I whimpered for him to come back to me. I heard the unmistakable sound of a condom wrapper being torn open, and lifted my head up to see Edward roll the latex sheathing over himself. He was back over to me in a flash, positioning his hips aligned between my legs, breath mingling with mine as he looked intently into my eyes. Even in the darkness I could see the majestic green of them, and I was taken aback by the sheer magnificence of his face with its expression of craving written plainly on his features.

"Isabella," he said as he slid himself inside me, filling me up in one swift motion.

My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, my hips raising to meet his with every movement. My hands slid over his chest and around to his back before moving to his ass, grabbing the tight muscles as they squeezed and contracted with Edward's thrusts. His teeth grazed across my neck, and I couldn't control the volume of my cries. The friction was amazing, and Edward knew exactly how to move his body in mine as if we'd done this a thousand times before together.

His mouth found mine, and the kiss was explosive. Our tongues battled each other in swirls and waves as we moved at a steadier pace, becoming faster and harder. His lips were bruising, and I kissed him back with the same amount of force and ardor. I felt the orgasm building like a slow cinder, and as I reached my climax, Edward reached his, calling out my name as I spoke his. I wondered if I had ever felt as strong a release as Edward had just given me.

His body collapsed onto mine as he slipped out, his lips touching mine so lightly I wasn't sure we were actually kissing. We were panting and sweaty, and his head was resting against my chest. I was sure he was listening to my heart's erratic beat, and I smiled, content in my post-orgasm afterglow.

He raised his head up, looked at me, and chuckled. "If I had known it would be that awesome, I would have taken you home with me that night at the bar."

I kissed him on the forehead and said, "If I'd known it would be that great, I'd have taken you to a stall in the bathroom."

He stared at me for a moment, and then started laughing. I laughed along with him as his arms enveloped me, feeling truly happy for the first time in a while.

* * *

**A/N:** Title comes from the poem "I Sing the Body Electric" by Walt Whitman.

The Decemberists make another appearance! The song mentioned is lovely, and I'm really starting to get into their album _The Crane Wife._

A Perfect Circle is one of my favorite bands. "3 Libras" bowls me over every single time I hear it. Other notable songs are "The Noose" and "Magdalena."

_Samson et Dalila _is an opera in French by Camille Saint-Saëns. The aria mentioned, "Amour viens aider ma faiblesse," is one of the lesser known ones. It is an absolutely beautiful piece, and it holds a special place in my heart because I performed it for my college senior recital. Look up a performance on youtube... you won't regret it. I'll let you know if I make my recital recording available online.

_Labyrinth_ is a 1980's fantasy movie starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly. There is music, goblin puppets, and a cute baby. Enough said.

Lacuna Coil is an Italian metal band that has a male singer _and_ a female singer. They did a great cover of the song "Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode, and their songs "Humane" and "Not Enough" are some of my favorites.

_Next to Normal_ is a pretty new musical on Broadway that deals with mental illness. The music is amazing and the story is fascinating. Also, a member of the original cast is a hardcore cutie pie, and I adore him. Look up the song "I'm Alive" performed by Aaron Tveit on youtube, and you'll see why.

Much love goes to the Edwardville lj community and the IMDB crew. You are all wonderful, and you make me so happy to be a part of this amazing fandom.

Reviews are like kissing gorgeous men in the rain.


	8. Chapter 8: Falling Man

Thanks as always to R. He gave me a lovely weekend, and nothing compares to staring in the eyes of the man you love and seeing that love radiating back tenfold. Words fail. Thanks to faeriemelie for dealing with the nauseatingly couply actions, and for understanding my strange fanfic references. Thanks to Starry for being absolutely amazing in every capacity.

Disclaimer: S. Meyer is the one who makes money off the characters. I make them kiss in the rain.

* * *

**E POV**

I had just finished having the best sex of my entire life with Bella Swan and I had no words. The only thing in my head was an explosion of notes that I knew would still be there when I got home. I smiled down at her, knowing that she had no idea that she'd just inspired me with the soft, delicate amazing-ness that was her body.

"I think I need a shower, E," she said, pulling herself to her feet. "If I let the chlorine dry any more in my hair, I won't be able to brush it later."

She headed towards the bathroom and looked back at me when she reached the doorway. "You can join me if you want, but no monkey business. This is a strict de-chlorinating operation," she said, her finger pointed at me and her face looking serious.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, saluting her as I bounded to my feet. I saw her eyes flit over my package, which was still swathed in the condom. I rolled it off and threw it away in the closest garbage pail, and I saw Bella step into the bathroom and start the water for the shower.

_Best. Sex. Ever. She seems to kind of dig you, too, Cullen. Might be worth exploring a bit_. I entered the bathroom and saw that she'd already stepped into the shower. I opened the shower curtain a little bit and stepped in.

The water was on the edge of being too hot and it felt luxurious on my skin. Bella was standing underneath the current, her back facing me. I stepped a little closer to her and saw her back straighten. The water ran down her shoulders, leaving droplets clinging to her skin and small streams of water that flowed to her ass. The curves of it looked absolutely mouth-watering to me as she moved under the shower's spray.

She turned around to face me, closing her eyes and leaning her head back as she seemingly ignored my presence. The water trailed into her hair, drops landing on her up-turned face. Her lips pouted out a little bit, and I leaned forward to place a soft peck on them. Her eyes flew open and her neck straightened out.

"Stop that. I told you, no funny business," she said sternly, her eyes boring holes into mine.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," I replied, shrugging my shoulders. _Not my fault that you look so damn fuckable all the time._

She smiled up at me, wrapped her arms around my waist, and pulled me to her. "It's a good thing you're sexy, or else I'd have to punish you."

"Punish me, please. I beg for it." My arms wrapped around her, and I bit her lower lip gently. She kissed me deeply, lips tasting like water and chlorine and wine and something so distinctly Bella.

"Fuck, E, let a girl wash her hair at least before you seduce her," she said, reaching behind me for a bottle of shampoo.

"Allow me." I took the bottle out of her hand in a swift motion and gripped her shoulders, turning her back around. I opened the bottle, and that intoxicating smell of strawberries filled the room. _I could bathe in the sweetness of this scent on her skin._

I slowly massaged the shampoo into her scalp, making sure to work a nice lather that erased all traces of pool chemicals from her hair.

"Rinse," I said, and she turned around to face me again, letting the spray remove the shampoo. The way that her lips parted and her eyelashes fluttered sent jolts of lust through my body. The sight of her was affecting my ability to think is was so erotic, and I was hard again. _So soon, and already you want more, you greedy, horny bastard._

I waited until she opened her eyes before I moved in to take those beautifully full lips into mine. I saw her eyes widen in surprise, but they closed a few seconds later as she got into the moment. Her hands moved down my chest, then suddenly grabbed hold of my cock, sliding over it, feeling the firm warmth. I couldn't contain the groan as she wrapped her hands around me and started moving them back and forth. She watched her movements, seemingly fascinated by the sight of my cock as she continued to stroke her hands up and down the length.

Finally, I spat out, "Enough!" through gritted teeth, twirling her shoulders around and pressing her to the tile of the shower stall. My hands slid across her stomach and palmed her breasts, her mouth letting out a soft moan as my fingers brushed her delightful little nipples. They were already hard, as if they were waiting for me to touch them. _And oh, how I'll touch you, Isabella, until I fuck you senseless._

I pressed my body to hers as I continued stroking those lovely nipples. I kept one hand up on her breast as the other moved so I could toy with that amazing little nub that brought out such arousing reactions from her earlier. I could see a light flush spreading on the small of her back and I leaned forward, pressing my chin onto her shoulder. I watched her breasts heave while my thumb and forefinger teased her clit. That flush was present on her breasts, too, and I smiled to myself, realizing I was living the fantasy I'd had a few days ago.

I turned my head and whispered in her ear, "I'm going to take you like this, now, Isabella, if that's alright with you." _I sure as hell hope it is, because I want this so fucking much._

She nodded her head and replied huskily, "Sounds good to me." Her hips were gyrating against my hand, and I moved it a little lower so that I could press two fingers into her. _So fucking wet and tight, it's like heaven._

"You feel ready, Isabella. Are you?" I whispered again. She nodded again. "Use your words, my sweet. I want to hear how much you want me."

"I…I'm ready, Edward. Jesus Christ, I'm ready, please!" she exclaimed, reaching a hand behind her back and stroking my cock. I moved my hands off of her breast and clit, turned her around to face me, and slid both my hands down her back to cup her ass. She hopped as I lifted, immediately wrapping her legs around me and pressing my body even tighter against hers. Her arms grasped above her head to the towel bar, using it to help support some of her weight. I used a hand to guide myself to her opening, and I was about to enter when I realized I'd forgotten something. _Motherfucker, you were almost there!_

As if she read my mind, she looked me square in the eye and said, "I'm on the pill, I've never missed a day, so it's alright, unless you have herpes or something." _Praise the Lord!_

I leaned into her mouth and kissed her very gently. "I don't. We're safe." I kissed her again, just as lightly. Then I pushed into her.

_Oh, my fucking God, I'm in paradise and I can't move or I'll come. _I realized I'd never had sex without a condom before, and was relishing in how much more I could feel. I closed my eyes and licked my lips before I began to thrust into her.

"Oh! Oh, Edward!" she cried, and I opened my eyes. Her head was tilted back and her eyes were closed. The water was pounding into my back, stray drops landing on her body as we moved in synchronization. Her hips kept up with my pace, letting me slam back into her with my every movement. The flush of crimson was still present on her breasts and slowly darkening in her cheeks. The entire visual of her was too much for me, and I pounded into her as she moaned and cried out.

"Edward…fuck…oh, Edward, I'm close," she cried out, opening her eyes to burn my in their dark flame.

I pressed her back closer to the wall and moved my hand between our bodies to tease the nub that would unleash her orgasm. A few seconds later I felt her walls clench around me… _fucking hell she feels so amazing… _and I reached my release that was spurred on by hers. We stayed still a moment, trying to catch our breaths, while my hands roamed lazily over every inch skin I could find.

"You… are a fucking sex god, Edward Cullen," she panted, letting go of the towel bar and wrapping her arms around my neck. She was smiling tenderly at me, a hazy look still in her eyes.

"Whatever do you mean, dearest Isabella?" I replied, nuzzling her neck as I set her back on the ground.

"Oh, you know what I mean. I've never come like that before with a man. My vibrator, on the other hand… that's always been reliable. Now here you are, making me all putty-like and shit." She reached for the shampoo and turned my body to face the water. A second later I felt her hands in my hair, working the shampoo into a lather.

"Well, believe it or not, that was pretty fucking extraordinary for me, too. Which I guess makes you a sex goddess." I turned around and rinsed the shampoo out of my hair.

"Oh, don't tease me."

"I'm completely serious. Plus, I've never had someone wash my hair for me afterwards. I think you might just be the perfect woman, Bella Swan." She smiled at me and pulled my face down to hers, attacking my lips with hers, sliding her tongue into my mouth and slowly beginning a dance with my own tongue. _That fucking tongue. I could write a sonata for that tongue._

We continued our shower in silence, grinning at each other like a couple of spaced-out idiots.

(*)(*)(*)(*)

After our shower, we toweled off quickly and went back into her room. She went to her dresser and pulled out some clothes that I couldn't discern. She took her clothing and headed straight for the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

I chuckled under my breath, amused by the shyness of the girl who I'd just had sex with twice. She was so fascinating, from the contradictory actions in regards to sex to the intelligent discussions about books, movies, and music. I was almost completely serious when I told her she was the perfect woman. She really seemed like that to me right now, and I wondered if I was accurately seeing her that way or if it was a muddled view because of my sexual attraction to her.

She came back into the room wearing a white men's tank top and black sweat shorts. She was brushing her hair, slowly moving the plastic brush through her hair and wincing every so often as she hit a tangle. I stood still and watched her, not realizing I was only wearing a towel wrapped snugly on my hips until she mentioned something.

"You gonna get dressed?" she asked.

I was knocked out of my daze. I tried to shrug it off by coolly replying, "Nah, I'll just chill like this for a while," but I was pretty sure she saw through it.

"Hey, Edward? Did you happen to pack any pajamas or stuff like that?" she asked as she set her hairbrush on her desk. _Of course I did. I'm a big enough loser to hope you'd ask me to stay the night. Then again, it seems that you __**are**__ asking, so maybe I'm just a genius._

"I had some in here from an over-night trip a few weeks ago. Why do you ask?" I lied, hoping that she'd believe me. I didn't want to seem too confident or too eager.

"Well, you can stay the night, if you want. Alice is staying at your place with Jasper, and Emmett made a trip up to Forks to visit with my dad for a few days." She looked nervous and scared as she sat down on the bed, legs hanging off the edge.

"That sounds good to me." I went to my bag and got my clothing out, ready to change into it. I felt arms fling around me, hands clasping each other in front of my belly button and realized Bella was hugging me. _What the hell?_

"Uh, Bella?"

She moved her hands from around me and stepped back. "Sorry, I just had a sudden urge. Do you feel like watching a movie?"

"Yeah. Pick whatever you want." She left the room, leaving her door open. I closed it and changed into my sleeping clothes, then went to the bed and sat down.

_Why did she hug me? What on earth could have made her do that?_ I asked myself. The thought kept bothering me because I couldn't decipher her actions. This girl was so much of an enigma to me, even though she was so open. I took a couple of deep breaths, stood up, and went to join her in the living room.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

Edward was in my room for a long time, and I wondered what the hell he was doing in there. _And why did you hug him? Why would you do that? _I asked myself as I set up _Labyrinth _in the DVD player. I was never really an affectionate person, even during sex. I thought about Emmett and how easily he gets close to people, and I couldn't understand how I ended up so different. Of course, now all of that has apparently changed because of two rounds of fantastic sex with Edward. As I remembered what I'd just finished doing, I also remembered what I said to Edward in the shower. _Fuck, Swan, when did you turn into such a typical girl? Calling him a sex god makes you sound like a fan girl or something._

My bedroom door opened and Edward emerged, wearing a plain white T-shirt and low-slung grey sweatpants. My stomach curled into a knot at the sight of him looking so relaxed and freshly fucked. _Calm down, it's just some sweatpants. _I wish I could, but he looks so damn yummy I want to lick him like a frozen treat.

"What are we watching?" he asked as he laid down on the couch, stretching his legs to touch the other side.

"_Labyrinth." _I stood up from my kneeling position in front of the entertainment center and walked to the couch, eying Edward in his casual position.

He grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me down on top of him. I scooted down a little until my head was resting on his chest and my legs were in between his. "You on a kick or something?" he asked, fingers twirling in my hair.

"What do you mean?" I placed a hand near my face and on one of his defined pecs. _Yummy, indeed._

"Well, you were wearing a _Labyrinth_ shirt earlier, and now we're watching the movie. Were you fantasizing about David Bowie back there?" I looked up at his face, worried that he was worried, and saw that his eyes were twinkling. I knew instantly that he was joking with me.

"Oh, you know it. I can't resist a man who's ever been in drag." I gave him a coy smile.

"Well, if you're into that kind of thing, I'll see what I can do."

Images of Edward in Frank-N-Furter wear and Hedwig wigs crossed my mind, but the thought was too ridiculous to keep for long. _You need to relax, he's just joking with you. Besides, he'd never be able to pull it off._

"You do know I was teasing, right?" I asked, wanting to make sure we weren't taking this joke too far.

"Of course." He kissed my forehead. "Come on, let's start the movie."

I leaned over as far as I could, luckily able to reach the remote on the ground from my prone position. I clicked the buttons necessary, and the start menu of the movie flashed across the screen. I started the movie, then snuggled into Edward's torso as his hands danced across the skin of my back in swirls.

As we watched the movie, we made bad jokes and laughed at each other's impersonations of the characters. Edward did a David Bowie as Jareth impersonation that sent shivers up my spine. We discussed Jim Henson puppets and how different the Henson creations became when he died. He agreed with me about Jennifer Connelly's movie career, and how _Requiem for a Dream_ was a beautiful, albeit depressing, movie.

We continued talking about any and everything as we laid there on the couch, the movie long over. We were in the middle of a pretty heated discussion about _Lord of the Rings _when I began to run my hands up and down his chest.

"Now, Bella, just because you don't remember the books correctly doesn't mean you can seduce me into forgetting," he said, staring down at me with firm eyes.

"Fine, you win," I conceded, raking my nails slightly over the skin of his stomach. He made a sound that was almost like purring, then sat up, forcing me to sit up, too.

"Edward, wha-?" I started to ask as he scooped me up into his arms and carried me into my bedroom. He turned the lamp on my nightstand on, then started to slowly undress.

We went slowly this time, savoring each touch and caress, lick and nip. He kept his thrusts slow, even when I begged him to go faster. He said my name like a chant, and from his mouth it sounded like a symphony. When we were sated, he curled against the curve of my back, one arm slung over my stomach and his face in my hair.

"Good night, Isabella," he whispered, laying a kiss against the back of my neck.

"Good night, Edward," I whispered back, drifting into sleep.

(*)(*)(*)(*)

_A man takes my hand and leads me to a room. I can't see his face because the lighting is too dim, but I know that he is no longer the stranger of dreams past. After we walk through the door, he asks, "Do you trust me?" kisses the hand he is holding, and leads me to the edge of a large, dark hole. I cannot see the bottom of the abyss, and I am even more frightened than I'd been when I've seen this dream before. He repeats his question, then drops my hand. He removes all of his clothing and stands before me, letting me gaze upon the lean muscles of his legs and strong muscles of his shoulders and stomach. I recognize the muscles, and a light hits the familiar face and golden bronze hair. Edward. He repeats his question one more time, his voice sounding both more desperate and more seductive. He quickly grabs my hand, whispers into my ear "Here we go," and pulls me down the abyss with him. We are suddenly on the street where I live, and the horror of the dream took its familiar turn. Tears begin to stream down my face when he smiles at me, whispers, "My angel," and moves his hand up, pointing at my torso. I look down at myself and see that I have a wound even larger than his. I collapse into his arms in unimaginable pain, praying for help to come._

I woke with start, screaming into the darkness of my bedroom. I was panting, trying to reclaim my breath when the face of the man from my dream loomed over me with a troubled look on his face.

"Bella? What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, stroking my cheek. It was then that I realized that I had been crying, and the sight of the tear on his finger broke something inside of me. I began to sob, and Edward pulled his arms around me, holding me close to his chest as he murmured words of comfort into my hair.

"Bella, it was just a dream, everything will be okay. I won't let anything bad happen, I promise, so please stop crying," he cooed. My sobs lessened and lessened, and eventually the tears stopped falling from my face. I pulled a little away from him so that I could see the expression on his face. The expression I saw was one of complete heart-break and total concern. I sniffed, then told him about my dream, leaving out the fact that he had been the man so gravely injured.

"Sweetie, it was just a dream. It's not real, and you have absolutely nothing to get so upset about. Come lie down with me," he said, lying down and pulling me into the crook of his arm. "Do you think you'll be able to get back to sleep?"

"I've been having this dream off and on for weeks, and I've never been able to fall back asleep after I've had it. You're welcome to go back to sleep, though."

"Nonsense. If you're staying up, so am I, although I'd much rather prefer that we just go back to sleep. Lie down on your stomach, I'll give you a massage." I complied with his request, and I felt Edward's hand brush lightly up and down my back. It was then that I remembered my nude state, and was about to get up to grab my clothes when he stopped me. "Nuh-uh, Bella. Time to relax." His hands applied divine pressure to my shoulders, and I immediately began to relax and enjoy.

Alice had been right. His hands were magical, and all of the tension in my back was melted away by his quick, strong movements and slow, sensuous ministrations. If I hadn't been so upset still, I would have pounced him and gone for round four.

I didn't remember very much about the massage, only that I was enjoying Edward's work, and then the next thing I knew, it was morning. _I must have fallen back asleep. Craziness._

I looked over at the sleeping figure next to me and smiled. He was lying on his stomach, his face turned towards me. In sleep, Edward looked peaceful and innocent, like an angel or something equally as good and kind. I wondered about his childhood and what his baby pictures looked like. _I bet he was a sweet baby. Wait a second, you don't even __**like**__ babies, Swan, so you're getting all kinds of screwed up by this guy_.

I tried my best to ignore the speeding thoughts in my head as I discreetly slipped out of bed, grabbed my discarded sleep clothes from the night before, and headed into the bathroom. The bathroom was a mess, and I realized it was from our playtime earlier. I went through my morning routine quickly after realizing that I never did finish the dishes from last night's dinner.

When I emerged from the bathroom, Edward smiled at me, lying on his back with his hands behind his head.

"Good morning, Miss I-Never-Go-Back-To Sleep," he smirked at me, that crookedly gorgeous grin plastered across his face.

"Ok, is there anything that you aren't good at? You give great massages, you know a shit-ton about books and movies and music, and you're a fucking _composer._ Where's the catch, Cullen? Am I going to end up a lampshade?" I asked, crossing my arms and leaning against the bathroom doorframe.

"As much as I admire your skin and it's lovely coloring, I doubt you'll end up a lampshade. And you just haven't seen the things I'm bad at yet." He sat up in the bed, pulling himself into a crawling position and creeping over to the edge of my bed.

I heard a car pull up outside, and I held a hand up to Edward. "Hold that thought, buddy. I think someone's home." I darted out of my room and to the front door, peeking outside from the window next to it. I saw Alice get out of the driver's seat and head for the door. I opened it as she stepped onto the landing.

"Good morning, Alice, my love. What brings you here at this early hour?" I said to her, noting that she was wearing Cookie Monster pajama pants, an Elmo tank top, and Oscar the Grouch fuzzy slippers.

"I need to grab some dance clothes. I have a rehearsal with Jake for that thing we're doing in a week. We need to choreograph and rehearse like crazy!" She stepped past me and headed to her room. I followed her.

"Do you need someone to show you how to get, how to get to _Sesame Street_?" I sang as I watched her dig through her closet for the clothes she wanted.

"Ha, ha, very funny. I grabbed whatever, and Jasper doesn't find enjoyment in mocking my clothing choices." She tossed a pair of black spandex pants at me. "Hold that for me."

"That's because he's happy that he's gettin' some," interjected Edward from behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Hi, Edward! You two look all content in your post-coital glow. Good for you," replied Alice as she found a pink sports bra and a black spandex tank top. She hopped up and shooed us out of her room as she headed for the front door.

"Well, I have to get to my practice. Bella, make sure to invite Edward!" she said as she leaped down the front steps, got into the car, and drove away.

"Breakfast time!" I exclaimed, sprinting for the kitchen. I went to the cabinets and pulled down the ingredients I needed.

"What are we having?" Edward asked as he sat down on the stool next to one of the counters.

"Potato pancakes. Have you had them before?"

"Nope."

"Good. They're the best fucking breakfast food ever, and you will love them."

I made the breakfast as Edward watched, and we chatted a little bit. When I served the food with applesauce, sour cream, and orange juice, he took a tentative bite, chewing thoughtfully and swallowing before speaking.

"I believe that you were right. These are 'the best fucking breakfast food ever.'"

"Told you."

"Oh, Bella? What did Alice want you to invite me to do?"

"She and Jacob - he's the Native American kid that you saw me kiss at Alice's party - they're dancing at a choir concert at UCLA in a week on the 19th. She told me the piece, but I don't remember the name, just that it was by Eric Whitacre. Anyway, you're invited. Oh, and you should try a bite with applesauce, or with sour cream. Both complement that potato-y goodness well." I noticed he winced after my mention of Jacob, but decided not to press the issue.

"Sounds good." He dipped his fork into the applesauce and spooned some on his food, taking a bite. "It is good. Oh, and about Alice's thing? I'm not going to be able to make it. I have plans."

"Oh." We ate the rest of the meal in silence, and as I cleared the table Edward came up to me and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm going to go get my stuff together. I should get home and get some work done." He left the room, and I had no idea what was happening.

He seemed like he was really into me last night and this morning, and we'd had amazing sex that I can't even accurately describe without sounding like a Nora Roberts novel or something. Then, when I invite him to Alice's performance, he's all of a sudden Mr. Too-Cool-For-School, and has to leave quickly. It didn't make any sense.

He came out of my room wearing jeans and a red T-shirt that fit his muscles too snugly to not have been a deliberate choice. He grabbed my hand and led me to the front door. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a soft peck on the lips.

"Thank you for a lovely evening, Isabella. I had a great time, and I think you are truly magnificent. Have a great day, gorgeous." He kissed me again, a soft pull of lips and tongue that grew deeper and more passionate with each passing second. His lips enveloped mine as if he were leaving for a long time and didn't know when he'd be coming back. His mouth moved down to my neck, leaving deep suctioning kisses that I knew would leave marks. I was overwhelmed by the sensations of it all when he pulled away.

"I'll call you a little later, I promise. Good bye." He walked to his car and drove away, leaving me in a jumbled state, wondering what had happened, where this was headed, and when I'd get to feel his skin on mine again.

* * *

**A/N:** Title comes from the song "Falling Man" by Blonde Redhead.

Another _Labyrinth _reference. This time I'll just say one thing: David Bowie's ridiculously tight pants. Holy bulge, Batman.

Dr. Frank-N-Furter is a character in _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_, which is probably my favorite movie. It's got singing, dancing, transvestites, and Tim Curry. Hedwig is a character from the movie _Hedwig and the Angry Inch_, which is an awesome movie about a person who deals with a lot of hardships, including communist Berlin, a botched sex change operation, and the music that they wrote getting stolen by a lover.

Jennifer Connelly played the main character in _Labyrinth_ and one of the main characters in another favorite movie, _Requiem for a Dream_. _Requiem_ is about all the horrible things that drug addiction can lead to, and it is beautiful in its grittiness.

_Lord of the Rings_ - how does one describe the magnificence that is Tolkien, or the amazing film interpretation done by Peter Jackson?

I love _Sesame Street_. Apparently, so does Alice.

Eric Whitacre is the rock star of the classical composition world. He's attractive, he's a genius, and he composes amazing choral works that I've been lucky enough to perform. Check out the song "Sleep". It's breath-taking.

As always, much love to Edwardville, the best lj community to ever exist. Even more love to the IMDB girls, who make me laugh and who tease me mercilessly when I'm enjoying Boyfriend time (but it's ok, I still love you.)


	9. Chapter 9: Conversation

Thanks to R. for being an amazing boyfriend. Thanks to faeriemelie for dealing with my long stretches of silence on AIM. Thanks to Starrynytex for texting me during my job training and keeping me from falling asleep. Oh, and she's an awesome beta, too.

Disclaimer: I do not make money from these characters. Stephenie Meyer does. I make them give mixed signals after amazing sexy times.

* * *

**E POV**

"Hello?" I answered after picking up the ringing phone. I'd been home for three hours, and hadn't called Bella yet, so I figured it was her.

"Hey, Edward, it's Alice. Why aren't you coming to my concert?" asked the petulant voice on the phone. I'd hoped that wouldn't call me about this subject. _The fucking concert._

"This is the UCLA choir concert on the 19th, correct? A week from today? And you and Jacob are dancing to _Five Hebrew Love Songs_ by Eric Whitacre?" I asked her, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, we are. How did you know? And what's so important that you can't come watch me?"

"I'm playing violin for the same piece." I rubbed the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger.

"What? When? How? Why?"

"The original violinist had to drop out, and I got called about it on the drive over to Bella's yesterday. I was going to invite Bella over breakfast, but you beat me to it." The head choir director begged and pleaded, saying that he didn't have anyone else, and that he didn't care if I hadn't played it on stage in five years. I relented, feeling a sense of pity for this obviously desperate man.

"Shit, I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell her? And when did you start playing violin?"

"I've always played violin. I've been able to play all four string instruments, piano, oboe, clarinet, and most typical orchestral percussion set-ups since I was about ten. I can also play any instrument in your basic rock band, except I have some problems with synthesizers still. And I don't know why I didn't tell Bella, maybe because I'm a complete blathering idiot." _Wait, did you just say that out loud?_

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself." _Motherfucker, you did. Now your best friend's girl thinks you're completely socially inept._ "Besides, many a man has tried and failed to find words when in the presence of a best-selling novelist like Bells."

She paused, and I was trying to think of something to say in response when she broke the silence. "Oh! I have an idea! Make it a surprise!" _Alice and her scheming._

"You mean hide my involvement in the concert from her and let her see my name in the program? I don't think I can do that. I'm not good with secrets."

"Oh, come on, it'll be awfully romantic."

"We've been on one real date and had one sleep-over, and I haven't even called her like I said I would. Granted, that's because _someone_ called me first, complaining that I wasn't coming to see her dance."

"Sorry! I thought it was because of Jake and the party fiasco. He really wants to meet you, you know, but I guess now he will! Anyway, I'm an expert in knowing what Bella likes. It's been my job since I was five. She'll like the surprise, just make sure to play cool, and don't drop any hints whatsoever."

"Alice, we aren't even dating, really. I mean, we haven't decided on that or anything. We're just feeling things out right now."

"And feeling each other in an intimate manner, from what I could gather this morning." She snickered, obviously amused by her joke. "I promise you, she'll like the surprise. She's a sucker for musicians, anyway, and she'll be on her knees for you in twenty seconds after you step off stage if you surprise her with the violin."

I sighed. "If you're absolutely sure…"

"I am."

"Fine, it's a surprise for her, then. Which means no telling Emmett, and bribing Jasper into keeping his big mouth shut."

"I'll take care of Emmett, you take care of Jasper."

"Fine. Tell Bella I'll call her tonight, because I'm caught up in composing right now."

"Will do. Bye, Edward."

"Bye."

_That was a bit nerve-wracking, there, buddy. Jasper's girlfriend is way too intense. _I had to call Bella really fast, because when I got home, I went straight to my computer and got the composition swirling in my head down. When Alice called, I realized that I'd been home for four hours and hadn't tried to reach Bella. I was hoping she hadn't gotten the wrong impression by my quick exit, but I knew I needed to get the notes down before they disappeared. Before I called her, though, I needed to make a trip to storage to get my violin.

********

**B POV**

"Bella! What are you up to?" asked Alice as she burst through my door. She found me sitting at me desk playing sudoku online. The words had halted completely instead of giving me their sputtering stops and starts. _Stupid fucking Edward Cullen. Stupid fucking nightmare._

"Nothing, really. What do you need?" I asked as I propped my feet up on my desk.

"Oh, I just wanted to ask how the night with Edward went." She plopped onto my bed and was grinning at me like the Cheshire Cat.

"It was… amazing. I don't know how to describe it. He's intelligent and funny, and we have a lot of the same interests." I got out of my chair and laid down on the bed next to Alice, staring up at the ceiling. _He's absolutely perfect, and he just flew out the door like his testicles had been lit on fire._

"And the sex?"

"Mind-blowing. Best I've ever had. This morning, though, after you left, he got weird and left in a hurry. I wonder what that was all about."

"Well, he is a tortured artist. Maybe he got inspired and had to go home and compose? Or maybe he felt awkward because you two have only known each other a little over a week."

"I guess. We have this amazing chemistry, though. His kisses seriously send, like, electric currents and sparks and shit through me. I feel like a fucking romance novel." _And you are __**definitely**__ not romance novel material, Swan. You can't even pick out your own clothes._

"Except you didn't fall in love at first sight. I saw the look in your eyes, Belli-kins. That was pure, animalistic lust."

I sighed. "Yeah, but then I actually talked to the guy. He's really amazing, and I don't know what to do."

"Let your feelings happen as they happen, and don't worry about it. If it's meant to be lust and friendship, you'll know it soon enough, I promise you. And if it's meant to be love and romance and being swept off your feet, well, you'll know that soon, too."

"I'm not the love and romance girl, Alice. I can barely handle a normal relationship because I find a way to fuck them up. I mean, look at James."

Alice sat up and looked down at me, her eyes intense. "Listen to me, Isabella. The shit with James was not your fault. He was an asshole, and he didn't deserve you. A real man doesn't hit his girlfriend and threaten even worse bodily harm like he did. And that's just the stuff you told us about him, I hate to think of what you've hidden from us." I winced, knowing that she had a point. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me, even though I was still lying down. "He fucking deserved his prison sentence, Bella. You weren't at fault for what he did to that poor girl, and you know that, so stop blaming yourself before I punch you in the ovaries."

I laughed nervously, hoping to change the subject from my very bad last relationship. "Why the ovaries?"

"Because tomorrow you're shooting a new cover photo for the reprints of your books, and for the new one when it's finished. I don't want to do anything to your face."

"Thanks a lot, Al, it's nice to know you care," I said sarcastically, reaching over to pinch her in the arm.

"Ow, that hurt! Anyway, don't worry about the Edward situation. If you're feeling uneasy, just talk to him and ask him what he's feeling."

My phone rang, and I looked at the caller ID. It read, "Edward Cullen."

"He just beat me to it. Get out of here," I said to Alice, and she flitted out my door.

********

**E POV**

I had decided that my conversation with Bella was more pressing than my violin, so I dialed her number. The phone rang once. Then twice. Then two more times. Finally, Bella picked up, and relief washed over me. _Thank the Lord, she's not avoiding me._

"Hey, E, what's up?" she asked casually, although I could hear a tinge of nervousness in her voice.

"Just finished a composition. I heard it in my head this morning and had to get home to commit it to paper. Or computer, as the case may be."

"Is that why you left in such a hurry?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I should have explained it to you, but I've never been in a position where I had to. You're the first non-musician I've been on dates with." _I'm also keeping a secret from you, but that's besides the point._

"I can safely say that you are not the first musician in my list of men. My ex was the lead singer and guitarist in a metal band. The ex before that was a singer in a punk-pop band. I've got a long line of musicians behind me."

"So, am I a worthy addition to your collection?" _If I'm just a fuck, please tell me so I can re-claim my balls._

"Definitely. You're the most talented, the nicest, and the best kisser. You're about twelve notches higher than any other guy I've been involved with. I tend to date losers."

"I wasn't aware we were actually dating." _Fuck._

"Well, it's up to you. I'm apathetic. I mean, we get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but we haven't really known each other that long." Her voice was sounding strained, like she was trying to hold back a deep emotion of some kind.

"No we haven't. Would you like for us to be actually dating?" I asked, wondering what her thoughts were.

"If you want." _What kind of answer is that?!_

"What do _you _want?" I asked, hoping she'd let her guard down a little.

"I want you to make the fucking decision, Edward." She sounded pissed off. I was in deep shit, and I didn't even know why. I was just trying to see what our… involvement entailed.

"Let's go on another date, and decide after that." _There, that's innocent and logical._

"I'm fine with that."

"Let's see…" I checked my calendar quickly to see when I wasn't going to be in rehearsal for the concert. "How's Thursday night?"

"Fine with me. Where should I meet you?"

"I'm going to come pick you up at eight. Dress nice."

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Nope, it's a surprise. Bring an extra pair of shoes, though, just in case."

"Ok." She sounded wary. "Well, I need to go attempt some more writing. I'll talk to you later, Edward."

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

That phone conversation was _painful_. All of our spark was completely gone, and it seemed so forced and unnatural. I just hoped our date Thursday would go better, and that I hadn't ruined everything.

********

**B POV**

_What the hell was that? You get mad at him for wanting you to decide what to do?_ I was confused at my actions and very, very perturbed with the turn events were taking. We'd had such amazing chemistry from the moment we met, but now it seemed like the sex had changed things. _Well, it usually does. You should know this by now._

My phone started ringing again, and I looked at the caller ID, hoping Edward was calling to smooth things over. Instead, I was surprised to see my father's number on the screen. I answered immediately.

"Hi, Dad! To what do I owe this phone call?"

"Emmett's been telling me about a guy you're seeing. I want you to tell me about him. Plus, I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Well, the guy I'm seeing is confusing the hell out of me right now, so I'd rather not talk about him right now."

"Don't curse, it's not lady-like." I snorted. _Good thing he doesn't hear the trash that pours out of your mouth on a daily basis._ "Let me know if it gets serious with this guy, though, because I want to meet him. I didn't like the last boyfriend you brought home."

"Once I got to know him better, neither did I." _Fucking James._

"Emmett seems to like the new one."

"Emmett's usually a good judge of character. Anyway, how are you doing, Dad?"

"I've been good. Jake came up to visit last Sunday for Billy's birthday."

"Oh, my God, I can't believe I forgot! Tell him I'm sorry and happy belated for me, okay? And I'll send him something, so tell him to check the mail." Billy Black has been like a second father to me, and I had no idea how I missed his birthday. _Yes, you do, you were too caught up in Edward-land._

"Will do, Bells. I miss you."

My heart broke for my poor, lonely father. "I miss you, too. I'll come to visit sometime soon, when I get more done in my book."

"It'd be nice to see you. Well, I'm going to go with Emmett to the reservation, now. Take care of yourself, Bells."

"I love you, Dad." I could feel the tears clogging up my throat.

"Love you, too, Bells." He hung up.

My guilt for leaving my father all alone welled up, and I moved to close the door to my room so I could be left to my wallowing in peace. The aggravation, uncertainty, and remorse flooded out of me in hot tears, and I wondered errantly what Edward Cullen would think right now if he could see me crying. _He'd think you were a pathetic, vulnerable baby, just like James did. No wonder he dashed so fast._

********

**E POV**

I had no idea how I was going to fix things with Bella. She sounded so angry on the phone, and I was absolutely conflicted in what course to take since I wasn't sure what I even wanted from her. I was afraid that she and I didn't want the same things out of… whatever we were, and if we did, how to go about doing so. All I knew is I just wanted to be with her again.

My phone rang, and I secretly hoped it was Bella. Instead, it was my father. _Fucking wonderful._

"Hello, Dad. Is there a reason for this phone call?"

"Hello, son. I'm calling because your mother and I haven't heard from you in quite a while. I sent you an e-mail the other day, did you get it?"

"Yeah, I just haven't had time to reply. I've been busy."

"Composing, I hope?" _Of course you do, since it was mainly your fault I started burning out at eighteen, anyway. _My thoughts were bitter, but I tried not to let Carlisle see.

"I'm finally composing again, yes. I've gotten two pieces started and a piano piece finished."

"Great news. Your mother will be thrilled."

"Give Esme my love."

"Sure thing. So, who's the girl?"

"What do you mean?"

"The reason you stopped composing is because of the broken heart from Tanya. She sucked your inspiration dry. I figured it'd take a new girl to bring the inspiration back. Let me guess… is she a brunette?" I always forgot how perceptive Carlisle was. _Must be where you get it from._

"First of all, I'm perfectly capable of finding inspiration anywhere, it's just that Tanya was a special case. Second of all, I can't concretely attribute the inspiration to a new girl. Third of all, if there were a new girl, what business of it is yours? And lastly, yes, she's a brunette."

Carlisle laughed a gentle, melodious laugh, and I couldn't help but laugh with him. As tense as things were with Carlisle, I couldn't help but love and appreciate that my father wasn't a _complete_ jackass about the music thing like some of my other classmates' parents were. Although he pushed me when I showed an interest and talent for music at a very young age, he never forced it like a stage parent.

When the laughter died down, Carlisle said, "So, are you really dating someone, or are you joking with me?"

"I've been on one date with this girl. She's an author, and her name is Bella."

"Bella Swan? Who wrote _Wings on the Summer Wind_?" Carlisle interjected.

"How did you know?" I asked incredulously.

"Your mother loves that book. If this becomes serious, you _have_ to bring her home to meet us, Edward. Esme would be so excited."

"I'll think about it, but I have a life here now. I can't just pick up and travel when I want. If I end up traveling to New York for a performance or something, I'll let you know." _But I'll call __**after**__ the performance so you can't put your special brand of undue stress on me._

"Sounds fair to me. Speaking of performing, are you doing any of _that_ during your stay out west?"

"I performed a little over a week ago with Jasper and his band."

"I meant classical, son. Your dalliances into rock music don't pay the bills."

I sighed, feeling the disappointment from earlier compound, and I hoped I could end this call soon. "I'm playing violin for a Whitacre piece with the UCLA choir."

"I won't keep you on the phone, then. You probably were practicing, since it's been so long."

I didn't want to tell him that I could probably sight-read the piece without an ounce of practice and play it perfectly, but I didn't want to come across as smug. When you're smug with Carlisle, he tends to ask for proof, and I didn't want him coming to Los Angeles anytime in the near future.

"Thanks, Dad. I was about to re-tune my violin, actually." _Liar. It's still in fucking storage._

"Take care of yourself. Don't let this Bella Swan cause the same problems Tanya did."

"Alright. Bye, Dad."

"Bye."

I clicked the phone off and laid down on my bed. _Bella couldn't be half as complicated as Tanya if she tried._ Then I re-thought that statement, wondering if it were true, then why was I such a mess right now? And why wasn't I trying to smooth things over?

*********

**B POV**

After the tears let up, I grabbed a box of tissues out of my bathroom and blew my nose noisily. _All this trouble over a fucking guy. You promised never to let yourself cry over a guy again._

My phone rang, and I almost threw it into the wall, wondering what else could possibly get piled on top of me. I decided not to, and looked at the caller ID to see that it was Jacob. _Thank God, someone who's not complicated._

"Hey, Jake!" I answered.

"Hello, Bells. What's up?"

"Trying to get some writing done. What are you up to?"

"Taking a break from choreographing that piece for me and Alice. She helped me out earlier, but I'm trying to figure out how some of it will look on the stage, so I asked a couple of friends to help me visualize. We're taking a break."

"Why didn't you call Seth if this is a boredom call?"

"Because I have some news to tell you."

"Is this gossip about the college, gossip about celebrities, legitimate news, or the privy information you get from being pre-law?"

"Privy info, my dear. Serious shit, dealing with you."

My heart sank into the floor. "What happened?"

"Alice tells me you're dating someone."

The relief washed over me, and I wanted to punch Jake in the face. "You're a fucking jerk, you know that?"

He laughed uproariously. "Did I scare you or something?"

"I thought it would be something about James, like he's been threatening to murder me in prison."

"No, but his prison sentence is up in three weeks."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. Don't worry, though. Emmett still has all of the old hunting rifles from Forks, right?"

"Yes, and he bought two handguns when the warrant for James' arrest came out, even though James had long been out of my life by then."

"Then you're good. I wouldn't worry. Well, about that, anyway."

"What else do I have to worry about, Jacob Black?"

"Me getting my sexy hands on your delicious piece of man meat. Seriously, Bells, he's like the perfect man." _Jake is right, he is a quite the piece of man meat, and he ran out your door like he was in the Olympics, even if he had a decent excuse for it._

"Whatever you say. 'The perfect man' and I aren't exactly on the best terms right now."

"What happened?"

"He stayed the night last night, and -"

Jacob interrupted with a high-pitched squeal. "Was it amazing? Fireworks and electricity and all of the corny, happily ever after shit?"

I giggled at Jacob's enthusiasm. "You know, you need to be careful before you become any more stereotypical."

"I'm sorry, but I'm happy for you! Now answer my question!"

"It was amazing and all that other stuff. Then, in the morning, we were talking over breakfast and he left in a big hurry."

"Has he explained his actions?"

"He said he had to get home to compose before the notes left his head."

"Sounds plausible to me, sweetie. You artistic types always do weird shit like that. Remember all of your notebooks, and how you'd spend hours just jotting things down? I can't even remember how many times you ignored me for those notebooks."

"Ok, I'm not worrying, then. Thanks, Jake." He always knew how to say things to make me understand the simple solutions. I was still concerned about what could happen, but I tried not to think about it too much.

"No problem. I gotta go, now. Bye!" He hung up before I got to say goodbye.

The conversation with Jacob helped me clear my head a bit of all the confusion. It seemed that maybe Edward was just trying to get to composing, and I shouldn't have over-reacted. _I'll call him after I write a few pages and get the confusion sorted out._

********

**E POV**

I was lying in my bed, thinking about what exactly to say to Bella to make things a little less tense, when Jasper came home from work. A minute later, he was in my room.

"So, tell me about last night," he asked, collapsing in my desk chair as he loosened his tie.

"It was great, and I fucked things up."

"How did you fuck things up?"

"I left in a hurry to get home so I could compose, and I didn't explain that to her." I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, still worried about what to say to Bella.

"She'll understand. She does weird shit like that all the time when she's out with Alice. Although, it might also be an excuse to get out of Alice's clutches."

"Yeah, your girlfriend is pretty intense, dude."

"She's absolutely amazing, so watch it. She's a lover of life, and does what she can to enjoy it. Can you say you're doing that?"

"Not really. I should be more out-going." _And you should learn to fucking communicate._

"Then do it. And start by talking to Bella."

Jasper always cut to the chase, and he seemed to know what he was talking about. I was still a little worried, though the way he phrased things made me feel a bit better.

He got up to leave the room, and was at my doorway when I remembered that I had to tell him something.

"Wait, Jazz, I need to tell you about this plan Alice has."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, you know how she and her friend Jacob are dancing at that thing next week?" He nodded. "I got called yesterday about playing violin in it. We're not telling Bella and making it a surprise for her."

"So no telling her what's going on if you act like a douche because you're in super-secret rehearsals?"

"Something like that."

"Good deal." He walked out of the room, leaving me to think about whether or not I should call Bella.

Unfortunately, my phone started ringing, and when I looked at the caller ID, I saw that it was her. I was relieved that she still wanted to talk to me.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey. Um, Edward? I want to apologize for being a bitch earlier. I was frustrated about some things, and I didn't mean to take it out on you."

_Wait, what? I thought I had been the jackass._ I was completely stunned, and not quite sure how to react.

"I accept your apology. And I apologize for running out so fast without explaining the situation well enough. I really did enjoy my evening with you, and I think you are an astonishing woman."

She giggled a little and responded, "Thanks. I think you're pretty great, too."

"So, we're okay?" _Please say we are, please say we are._

"Yeah, we're okay." She paused. "I guess I'll see you Thursday, then."

"Sure thing. Remember, I'll pick you up at eight."

"Alrighty. Have a good night, Edward."

"You too, Isabella."

She hung up, and I was so much more confident in my abilities to knock her socks off with her surprise next week. _Just wait, Isabella, you'll be melting in your seat when you see me play._ I went to put on my shoes and grab my keys, hoping the storage place was still open. I needed to get that damn violin.

* * *

**A/N: **Title comes from the poem "Conversation" by Elizabeth Bishop.

_Five Hebrew Love Songs_ by Eric Whitacre will be referenced quite a bit in the next few chapters. There are some recordings on youtube, but make sure to click the ones performed by choirs. There is another version for soprano solo (which is lovely... if you want to check that one out, look for the Hila Plittman version, she's the lyricist of the piece and the composer's wife.)

Much love to the IMDB board and to the Edwardville lj community.

Reviews are better than finally communicating with sexy men that take you on mysterious dates.


	10. Chapter 10: Enjoy the Silence

Thanks to R. for being a sweetheart (I hope you feel better soon!) Thanks to faeriemelie, who is about to spend her last _True Blood_ Sunday with me. Thanks to Starrynytex, who is indescribable.

Note: Sorry to those of you that sent me reviews that I didn't reply to. I've been busy with life and work (mostly work.) But believe me, every time I read one, I do a happy dance inside! Thank you for your support!

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns the characters. I make them have communication issues.

* * *

**E POV**

The two days spent without Bella were fucking boring. I couldn't hear any more melodies in my head, and Jasper was at work, so I spent all of my time practicing the violin. After the first couple of tries, I got back into the hang of it. Fortunately, playing the guitar at home during my five years away from the spotlight helped the calluses on my hands stay put, so the strings weren't terribly uncomfortable to hold down. My bowing technique needed more work, but I still had five days until the concert by the time my second official date with Bella rolled around.

I had a hard time deciding what to wear, because I knew that we would be going on an excursion, so to speak. I went through about three outfits before deciding on black trousers, a white shirt, a black tie, and my Chuck Taylors. _Way to act like a fucking girl, Cullen. How much time you going to spend on your hair?_

I really hoped to make up for my actions on Tuesday, so I wanted to surprise her with a picnic on the beach. I hoped she didn't read too much into it, but I also wanted to make her feel as special as I knew she was.

After I'd packed everything I needed for the date, I headed out to my other car. Jasper had made fun of me relentlessly when I'd bough a second car upon arriving in Los Angeles, but I wanted to make sure I had a practical car in case the Mustang wasn't an appropriate ride. In this case, my practical car was a silver Volvo.

I drove the way to Bella's, anxious to see her again. I listened to her favorite opera, _Madame Butterfly_, hoping it'd calm me down. It only served to make me more anxious, and I was really, really keyed up by the time I pulled into her driveway.

I nervously made my way to her door, holding the bouquet I had picked up on the way. I'd chosen pink roses because they reminded me of the flush on her cheeks. I knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

"Come on in, buddy!" exclaimed Emmett as he answered the door. He had a huge grin on his face and he looked a little more tan than he had when I met him on Sunday.

I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, flowers in tow, and Emmett sat down next to me.

"So, Cullen, be nice to her," he said to me, eyes looking solemn while the rest of his face held its usual jovial glow.

"I'll do my best," I responded.

"I'm fucking serious, man. She's had a rough time of it the past couple of years, and her last ex-boyfriend treated her like dirt when we weren't around to protect her. So please, if you mean for this to be a long-term thing, be nice. And if you don't mean for this to be long-term… best tell her ASAP." It was the most I'd ever heard Emmett say that wasn't in regards to video games or sports.

"I promise, Emmett. And I think I'm going to be sticking around a while." I tried to put as much sincerity as possible into my expression, hoping that he could see the honesty in my statement.

Emmett let out a big guffaw and replied, "Hot damn, that's some good news. Between you and me, she's a lot nicer to work for now that you're in the picture."

I laughed and responded, "I'm glad I can help you out. So, Bella mentioned something about you going to visit your dad?"

"Yeah, I decided to go kick it with Charlie for a few days. She needs to go visit him soon, though. He misses her like crazy."

Before I could respond, Alice entered the room with a very severe look on her face. "Emmett, out," she said, pointing up the stairs.

"What do you mean? This is my house, too, Alice."

"Actually, it's technically Bella's, since she bought it, and we decided you can't be in the room when she comes out to meet Edward."

"That means she's dressed in something revealing, Alice. Please tell me you didn't dress up my sister like a super slut."

She shot daggers at him with her eyes and said softly, "Emmett, if you value your ability to reproduce, then you should leave before I hack your balls off with toenail scissors." He winced at the mental imagery and clunked up the stairs slowly, grumbling complaints about Alice the entire way.

When Emmett was safely upstairs, Alice turned to me with a wide grin on her face. "Just wait until you see her. You're going to die, albeit very pleasantly."

"If you say so," I replied sarcastically, even though I knew that Bella would look absolutely astounding in anything she wore. _Or didn't wear. _

Alice moved to the staircase and sat down on the bottom step, humming to herself. I was wondering why she did so when my eyes flashed to the figure standing in Bella's doorway. My jaw hit the floor in an instant.

********

**B POV**

I was skeptical at first when Alice suggested the outfit. It was practically a second skin, and in a color that drew much more attention than I liked.

"Alice… fire engine red? Can't I wear something black and classic? I've got plenty of dresses," I pleaded, hoping she'd see reason.

"Bella, we have no idea where he's taking you, so pants are much more practical in case there's a lot of walking. Also, he said to bring extra shoes, so that automatically makes one assume that there's walking. Lastly… he said dress nice, and this is a _very _nice suit."

I looked at the outfit on the hanger, thinking about what she'd said and about the events of the past few days. After I'd spoken to Edward that second time, I felt reassured about where we stood. Once the overwhelming feeling dissipated into a happy, calm state, the words began to flow out of me again. _Your ability to write is getting wrapped up in your emotions about this guy. Danger, Will Robinson._

I looked over the outfit carefully. It was a red silk men's-style suit tailor-made for me. It was my most extravagant clothing purchase, and I bought it on a whim while out with Alice one day. It was tight in all the right places and made me look like a devious vixen. _Well, Edward said dress nice. Instead I'm dressing devious._

The jacket was cut too low for me to go without a shirt underneath, so Alice rummaged around in my closet until she found a basic white button-down that was just this side of too small. I buttoned as much of it as I could, but the black satin bra I was wearing was visible when the outfit was finally in place. I pulled on knee-high black boots with pointy toes as Alice began brushing my hair. She dragged me into her room so she could straighten it and pin my hair under a black silk fedora. As she was working on my hair, I carefully applied dark, smoky eye shadow, thick black eye-liner and mascara, and deep red lipstick. _Let's see how long it takes for him to get a stiffy, you minx, you._

I went with Alice into my room when we heard the car drive up. She was hiding me so that I could maximize the reaction to my entrance. Personally, I thought that she just wanted to give Emmett a bit of interaction with someone who wasn't floating on estrogen.

After a few minutes, Alice pulled me across the room to stand near a wall so that I could remain out of sight when she opened the door. She evicted Emmett out of the room, and I giggled at their exchange. I heard Alice speak to Edward, and wasn't sure when I should make my grand entrance. I waited for a few minutes, then slowly made my way to the door, stopping in the doorway.

Edward's face was completely worth the trouble. His jaw visibly dropped, and his eyes immediately filled with lust. His hand did a weird twitch thing that was completely endearing. He just stared for a minute without moving or making any noise. _One point for Swan._

"Hi, Edward," I purred, laying the seduction scene on thick. I wanted to make sure he knew what kind of woman he'd been spending time with.

"Uh… hi, Bella," he responded, his voice cracking a little bit. _Who knew tight red silk could do so much?_

"Um, I'm leaving the room now, just so you know," said Alice as she sauntered into her room. She flashed me a huge, satisfied grin before closing her door.

"So, where are we going?" I asked.

"Still not telling yet, Isabella, so be patient." He started to look like he was regaining his composure.

"Am I too over-dressed? I could go -"

"You're fine," he interjected, eyes burning with unbridled want.

I smiled softly and said, "Ok, let's get out of here."

"Wait." He closed the distance between us in three long strides, moving so quickly I almost didn't notice he'd moved at all. One of his hands went to my waist, gently gripping my flesh and pulling me closer to him as the other hand caressed my cheek.

He moved his face closer to mine at an impossibly slow speed. I wanted to crush his lips to mine, to feel the consuming heat, but I let him take the speed he seemed to want. His eyes kept staring into mine, leaving me frozen in place by the overwhelming depths I saw. When his lips finally brushed mine in the most delicate of kisses, I sighed into his mouth and closed my eyes. We held our lips together, softly moving against each other and keeping the same amount of pressure. When we had both run out of air, we broke apart, his eyes intensely watching mine again.

Then he pushed me into him, lips moving faster and harder, tongues twirling and battling and dancing in tandem. The hand on my waist slid to my lower back, pulling my body into him. One of my hands slithered into his hair as the other slipped to his back, pulling the shirt from his pants and sliding my hand underneath the white cotton. I could feel warmth radiating from everywhere we touched. I gave a low moan, and his movements became more fervent.

Finally we broke apart, gasping for air and clinging to each other. Edward gave a small chuckle and smiled his crooked grin at me.

"We should probably get out of here before I end up mounting you on the dining room table." _Holy fuck, I wish he would. If only he could feel how drenched my panties are now from that statement._

"Alright. Wouldn't want Emmett to catch us, would we?" I took his hand and led him out the door.

********

**E POV**

We were driving in complete silence. I hadn't even bothered trying to turn my music on. I was just trying to concentrate on the road at not on the outfit she was wearing. _Hot damn, she looks like living, breathing sex. You're a lucky bastard._

When she walked out of her room, I couldn't think. All of the blood in my body went straight to Little Eddie. I must have looked like a horny buffoon. And then she spoke in that voice. _Fucking Jessica Rabbit shit right there._

I was paralyzed, stuck in my place. Luckily, I regained enough self-control not to jump her, and instead say hello. Then, after thirty seconds of speaking, I got the uncontrollable urge to kiss her, and kiss her I did.

Her kisses were always like fire, but this particular one burned with such bright embers I was blinded. I wanted to throw her down on the ground or the couch and have her right then. I was only holding on by a thread when we walked out the door, trying to make sure she couldn't see my rock-hard cock straining against my pants. I didn't want to make her think I always reacted this way to attractive women. _But you always react this way __**to her**__._

Thoughts of her underneath me, kissing me and raking her nails down my back plagued me the whole ride there. She was humming a song to herself and tapping the glove box with her foot. Her whole body was thrumming with an energy I couldn't decipher. I was eager to get to my destination so I could erase this never-ending quiet. I decided to break the silence.

"So, where'd you get that outfit?" I asked, wondering what she'd think of my random question.

"It's tailor-made for me. I was shopping with Alice one day when we walked by a shop that had a suit similar to this one in sapphire blue. I thought it was beautiful, so I investigated. They did my measurements, asked me what color I liked, and two weeks later I had this," she rambled, seemingly glad to finally fill the air with noise.

I stroked one finger down her sleeve, and she jumped a little at the contact. She was just as wound up as I was. "What's the material? It's so soft."

"Silk," she whispered.

"I hope the location of our date won't ruin it."

"What's our date?"

"A picnic on the beach."

I saw a smile slowly stretch across her face, and I was glad that she seemed to like the idea. I'd been nervous about looking like a cheap bastard. My motivation for my choice was almost purely selfish in that I never got to go to the beach much as a child. Any time that I could get my toes in the sand I took advantage of.

"Do they have beaches in New York?" asked Bella, turning her head to stare out the car window.

"In some parts, yeah. I was too busy to ever go, though." _So much fun, the whole child prodigy thing. Makes for a lovely fucking childhood._

"I didn't go to the beach much as a kid, either. Whenever my family went to the reservation to spend time with Jacob and his family, we would always attempt to go to the beach, but the weather rarely permitted it. Forks is always cold and rainy."

"Is that why you chose to live here?"

"Mostly, yes. I went to school at UCLA, but I always returned home frequently to visit my dad. I missed him so much after I first left. After I was published, my editor being here influenced my decision a small bit, but I mostly just wanted a permanent change of pace."

"I'm glad you do live here. If you didn't I'd never have met you." She turned to face me, grinning widely.

"Don't forget the fact that our best friends are crazy in love. They had a good bit to do with this, too."

"Oh, I know. I'm lucky to have Jasper, though. He's loyal." _I sound like such a pussy. Seriously._

"So is Alice. She actually punched a girl in the face once for being mean to me."

"I can see that kind of reaction from Alice. She's a feisty one."

"You don't know the half of it. I have so many Alice stories I could write a book about it."

"Why don't you?"

"Because she made me promise not to."

We had finally reached our destination at this point, so I looked for a good spot and parked the car.

"Stay here for a minute, Bella. I need to set up our picnic," I told her as I got out of the car. I grabbed the basket, the bottle of wine, and the blanket out of the trunk and jogged a fair distance away from the car. I unfolded the blanket and spread it across the sand, pulling the corners so that it lay flat. I put the picnic basket on one end and started unpacking the dinner I had made: an assortment of different cheeses, some apple slices with caramel dip, grapes with a sweet yogurt dip, and French bread. I set the bottle of wine on the opposite corner from the picnic basket to hold down the blanket as much as possible. Then I jogged back to the car to retrieve Bella.

When I got back to the car, I noticed that she had already gotten out. She was leaning against the trunk, looking seductive and dangerous. _Dear Lord, grant me the strength in getting through at least an hour before I try to fuck her._

**_****_**

**B POV**

Edward left me in the car as he ran to go set up our picnic. When I was positive he was a good distance away, I got out of the car, making sure to grab the keys that were still in the ignition, and locked the doors.

I decided to attempt to look like a vixen when he arrived, so I leaned back against the trunk and crossed my legs. I tilted my hat down low over my eyes and practiced giving a small, sexy smile into my pocket mirror. When I saw a distant figure quickly approaching, I got into position and hoped for the best.

When he noticed I wasn't in the car anymore, he started slowing down. The fading light of the sunset wasn't enough to allow me to see his features, so I hoped he was reacting favorably. I tried to breathe slowly, willing my heart rate to go down, as he approached me.

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and entwining my fingers with his.

We walked hand in hand across the beach for a few minutes, occasionally looking at each other and smiling shyly. I had no idea what to say to him, and I was hoping he'd start the conversation up. _Looks like the sex between you two has fucked up your communication capacities, girlfriend. Better hope you can get it back._

Finally, we reached a picnic set-up that was lying about six feet away from where the water was rolling onto the shore. There was a huge white blanket spread across the sand with food laid out on it, and I saw a bottle of wine on one of the corners.

We had stopped walking, and I turned to face him. "This looks lovely, Edward," I said as I tried to ease onto the blanket gracefully. I was lucky I hadn't stumbled in the sand. _At least the sex glaze over your mind is making you less klutzy. _

He chuckled a little and sat down beside me. "I try. I wasn't sure what to make, since I can't cook meat. I decided fruit, cheese, bread, and wine were a safe bet."

"Definitely a safe bet. Is that caramel for the apples?"

"Yup."

"I fucking _love _caramel, E." _I'd especially love it on your bare chest._

"Good choice on my part, then." He opened up the container and handed me the lid. I languidly licked the container, keeping my eyes fixed on Edward's. He blinked quickly for a second before speaking.

"Isabella, you're going to be the death of me." He began to open up more food containers, and moved to the basket to pull more items out of it. He laid a large knife on the blanket, and I got nervous for a second.

"Bella, you okay?" he asked after he saw my reaction to the knife.

"Sorry. Knives in the hands of others freak me out. It's a weird tick of mine. Besides, we haven't known each other all that long, so how do I know you aren't so crazed, sociopath murderer?" _Or a misogynistic, violent asshole like James?_

"Do you really think I could hurt you?" he purred, leaning in close to me. His last couple of words were spoken onto my lips, and I could feel all fear and unease slip out of me. I found myself warring between thoughts that I shouldn't trust so quickly and thoughts of him above me and pounding into me.

"Um… I don't think so. I could be wrong, though." His face pulled a little away from mine so that he could look into my eyes.

"I would never be able to forgive myself if I did anything to mar that gorgeous, luscious body of yours. Also, I would never want to incur the wrath of Alice and Emmett."

I laughed, knowing full well the sincerity of his statement. Hell, even _I_ was afraid of incurring their wrath, and I was technically their boss. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess I can trust that you'll be gentle with me," I replied, giving him a wink as I grabbed the knife off of the blanket. I sliced up the French bread as he unpacked two butter knives, flashlights, water bottles, and a second, smaller blanket from the basket.

When I was finished slicing the bread, I grabbed a butter knife to apply some of the cheese onto the bread. I wasn't sure what kind of cheese it was, but I liked most cheese, so I figured I was good.

When I was done spreading, I licked the knife the same way I did the lid of the caramel container, noting the strong, slightly pungent taste. I enjoyed it, though, and silently thanked Edward for his good taste.

He cleared his throat, and my attention immediately back on the striking man next to me. "I brought an extra blanket in case you get cold," he said, picking up the folded blanket in emphasis.

"I think I'll be fine," I replied. "Besides, I've got three layers on top, so I'm more likely to get too warm than too cold."

"Don't be afraid to shed some layers. I promise I won't look." He popped a grape into his mouth and flashed me his lopsided smirk. _How can he make me so horny with a crooked grin? Is he like Superman or something? Making panties wet with a single smile?_

"I don't mind if you look, but you can't touch until we get to the car."

"You promise?" His eyes were aflame, burning jade drawing me into their depths.

"No promises. We'll see how the rest of this date goes." _Another point for cool, collected Bella. No hint that his eyes are undoing your every grip on will power._

"Why can't I try anything here?"

"Because I don't want to risk getting sand in unmentionable places."

"I think those places are very mentionable, Isabella." _What has gotten into him? And why am I so turned on by it?_

"Ok, what's with this seduction scene, E?" I asked, hoping he'd tell me the truth.

"Honestly?" I nodded, encouraging him to continue. "I want to give you some romance since I was an ass on Tuesday."

"Is that all?"

"Yeah. I feel guilty. Forgive me?"

I leaned over, gently pecking his lips with mine as I brushed a stray piece of hair out of his eyes. "I forgive you."

He sighed. "Good. Now, let's enjoy this food and the stars."

********

**E POV**

She ate my small assortment of foods voraciously, and I was glad I'd picked something she liked. She off-handedly mumbled something about wishing there were strawberries and chocolate, and I noted that for the next time I took her on a picnic.

When the food was finished, I pulled her into an embrace and kissed her softly, tasting the fruit, wine, and cheese on her lips. We packed up all of the food containers into the basket to make room so we could lie down and watch the stars. She cuddled into the crook of my shoulder, hands lightly tracing indistinguishable patterns on my chest and stomach. We spoke very little and just enjoyed each other's company.

Then her touches started slowly down, and the patterns became recognizable. I turned my head to catch her lips into mine, and her mouth immediately yielded. _Fuck yeah, she's ready for some action._

I broke the kiss and asked, "Would you like the head back to the car?" She nodded.

We got up off of the blanket, and as I started packing up the rest of my supplies, she took her hat off and started unpinning her hair. Soon a cascade of chestnut curls fell down her back, and she looked even more succulent than she had before. I was struck by how beautiful she looked in the moon and starlight.

When everything had been gathered, we moved quickly back to the car. We put everything into the trunk hastily, and we slid into the back seat. We sat awkwardly side by side at first, figuring out how to start this.

Finally, she moved to her knees on the seat and crawled toward me. I scooted a little closer to her, and she moved to straddle me. She brought her lips down to mine, a colliding force of lust and desire. Her sweet little tongue licked my bottom lip, and I allowed her entrance into my mouth.

Before I realized what was happening, her jacket, white shirt, and black bra had been removed. _When the hell did that happen, and who did it?_ All I knew was that she was making the most enticing noises as I separated my mouth from hers and brought it to round, pink nipples. _For goodness sakes, they were already erect before you got there. This girl is yearning for you, hardcore._

Our hands tugged and pulled at each other's clothing until we were nude, Bella still straddling me. She moaned deliciously as she swiftly lowered herself onto my cock. It felt even more amazing than when we were in the shower, and she was so very tight and wet. My mind was swimming, and the only thing I could think clearly was _Bella._

She rode me hard and fast, breasts bouncing to her rhythm. Moans and grunts and _my fucking name_ stumbled out of her mouth in quick procession, and she tilted her head back as she savored every moment. I leaned a little forward and placed a soft, slow open-mouth kiss on her throat.

Her head snapped up and her eyes found mine. I could read the desire and the absolute pleasure in them, and that look alone almost made me come. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer, so I moved my hand between us so I could rub her clit. I pinched a little, and she gasped, bucking her hips in a crazed manner, screaming my name as I felt her walls clench around me. I reached my own orgasm a second later, feeling myself empty completely as her walls continued to clench in a slowing rhythm. _Best orgasm of my fucking life._

Her head fell to my shoulder, her body heaving with the pants escaping from her lungs. She laid soft kisses on my shoulder, moving up my neck and jaw before giving me a long kiss on my lips.

"We better get out of her, E. Don't want any cops arresting us for lewd behavior or anything."

I laughed, and we began to put ourselves back to rights, kissing each other every few moments and laughing. When we were dressed, we climbed into the front seat, and I started the car. After I put the car in gear, I felt her grab my hand, entwining our fingers together tightly. She sighed contentedly, and I knew at that moment that this was a memory I would keep with me always.

We were as silent on the drive back to Bella's house as we were on the drive to the beach, but this silent was a thousand times more peaceful. Our hands never once pulled apart until it was time to walk her to the door.

"Thank you for another lovely date, Edward," she said, wrapping her arms around my waist. My arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her into my body.

"I'm glad you had a nice time, Isabella," I replied. _And I'm glad that you were as horny as I was._

"Call me later? I'm probably going to be up late writing."

"Sure. Have a good night, my sweet." I kissed her goodbye the same way she kissed me hello, with all of the fervor and zeal of a thousand kisses rolled into one. When our lips finally withdrew from the kiss, I brought one of my hands up and stroked her cheekbone lightly. Then she pulled away and opened the door, waving goodbye before she shut it.

The entire drive home, my head was filled with thoughts of Bella in her suit, Bella laughing in my arms, and Bella's climax in the moonlight.

* * *

**A/N: **The title comes from the song "Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode. Lacuna Coil did a pretty decent cover of it, too.

_Madame Butterfly _is my favorite opera. The aria "Un Bel Di" is heart-breaking. I suggest looking up a recording ASAP.

Jessica Rabbit is my planned Halloween costume for this year. I've been enthralled by that particular character since the first time I was cognizant of who she was.

Another shout-out to the Edwardville lj community, and of course much love to the IMDB girls. How would I survive my evenings of writer's panic without you?

Reviews are better than picnics under the stars and sexy times in the back of the Volvo.


	11. Chapter 11: A Secret Told

Thanks to R. for being supportive of me in my new hobbies and new job. Thanks to faeriemelie for the pictures. Thanks to Starrynytex for... everything.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. S. Meyer owns them. I make them do dirty things in the backseat of the Volvo.

* * *

**B POV**

Alice was waiting for me at the door when I got home from my picnic date. She took one look at my disheveled appearance and started laughing.

"Did you guys even go anywhere, or did you just park and fuck for three hours?" she asked, doubling over and collapsing on the ground in giggles.

"Are you drunk?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Abso-fucking-lutely, my dear. No changing the subject on me, now spill," she replied, pulling herself into a sitting position on the floor. _Dammit._

"We had a picnic on the beach and watched the stars."

"And then you fucked? Did you do it on the beach on in the car?"

I sighed. "In the car."

Alice squealed, jumped up, and flew at me, almost knocking me down. "I'm so excited!"

"Why are you excited?" I asked, trying very carefully not to move as Alice untangled herself from me.

"Because if you sleep with a guy more than once, then that means you like him and want him to be your boyfriend."

"Alice, I slept with him three times when he stayed the night."

"I mean, like, two times separated by a period of absence. So, you like him, right?"

I smiled at her. "Yeah, I do."

Alice squealed again, then dashed to her room, shouting, "I have to call Jasper and tell him!" as she flew by.

I shook my head, smiling at her extreme enthusiasm about my love life. _Although right now it's more of a sex life._

I went to my room and headed straight for the shower. I relished in the feel of the hot water on my skin, although I was sad that Edward's scent would be erased from it by the spray. _I would bathe in his scent if I could. It's so clean, yet musky, and absolutely male._

I took extra time shaving my legs, hoping that Edward would appreciate the effort. After realizing that I was doing things because of him, I had to stop and sit down in the tub. I'd never before been motivated by a man's opinion of me. Why was his so important?

I thought about how well we were getting along and how easy talking to him had been. We had a lot in common, and we made each other laugh. The sex was indescribably amazing, and after the first time we weren't awkward with each other. The feel of my hand in his was so… _right._

_Holy shit, you like him. Like, really like him. As in want to date him._ The realization washed over me like the water from the spray I sat underneath, and I laughed to myself giddily. _I want to actually date a nice, decent guy. It's a miracle!_

I rushed through the rest of my shower, hoping that I hadn't missed my call from Edward. I wanted to talk to him about the prospect about dating each other exclusively. I had a feeling he would game for it, but I wasn't positive. I needed to approach the matter stealthily, though, so as not to scare him away.

The phone rang as I finished applying lotion to my arms, and I dashed to answer it. I checked the caller ID, and sure enough, it was Edward.

"Hello?"

"Hey, there, sweetie, how are you?" said Edward.

"Pretty good," I replied. "I just got out of the shower. How are you?"

"Better now that I'm thinking of your naked body moist and glistening." _Did he really just say that out loud? Does he read my mind or something and know exactly what to say to make my knees weak and my underwear uncomfortable?_

"Edward, you're quite the dirty boy. You should take a shower yourself," I purred, hoping to make him every bit as horny as I was.

"Only if you join me, Isabella. A shower's awfully lonely without a sexy woman in it. By the way, I still remember your face as you came on top of me earlier. Sexiest damn thing I've seen in my life." I don't know what had gotten into Edward, but it was nice. _Granted, it might not be what's gotten into him but what he's gotten into that's the cause._

"I don't know, Edward, I think the faces you make when you finally set the perfect rhythm are pretty sexy. If I wasn't already mostly sure I was straight, you'd be the reason for me to go hetero."

"Oh, I know, baby. I figured if you were a lesbian, you and Alice would have gotten together."

"She was my first kiss, you know."

I heard silence, then a banging noise. "Uh, sorry, dropped the phone." _Take that, you smug bastard!_

"Sweaty palms? I know that guys are into the lesbian fantasy thing, but rest assured, Alice and I aren't fucking like bunnies when you and Jasper are at your little apartment."

"Next date we have, you should come over to my 'little apartment.' I could show you some stuff I'm working on. Oh, and Bella? What are your feelings on spankings?"

I was a little shocked, and surprisingly intrigued, at his bluntness. "I'm not opposed to it, if the moment is right. Why do you ask?"

"I'm going to make you pay for that comment about you and Alice. Have a good night, Isabella."

"Good night, Edward." I heard the phone click.

I fell back onto my bed, not caring about my bedroom door being slightly open or my nude state. All I cared about was getting my hands on Edward Cullen's Wondercock again. It took me ten minutes for my lust-filled haze to lift and to realize that I hadn't broached the subjected I'd wanted to. _Mother fucker._

********

**E POV**

_Motherfucker. I should have taken that girl home with me tonight_. I was lying in my bed, freshly showered but still horny after my conversation with Bella. I don't know what exactly had come over me, but I began spouting off everything I was thinking. For some reason, she _liked_ it. It made me wonder about the unseen freaky side to Bella Swan.

I still hadn't told her about the concert, and I was counting my lucky stars. My only worry now was whether or not I could avoid telling her why exactly I wouldn't be spending very much time with her this upcoming weekend. Sometimes I really hated the crazy rehearsal schedules that accompanied being a musician.

I heard a knock on my open bedroom door and looked up to see Jasper, wearing a navy blue bathrobe over his pajamas and looking like a young Hugh Hefner.

"What do you want?" I asked as I laid my head back down.

"I haven't seen you in a few days, so I figured I'd come see what my buddy was doing."

"You're a really bad liar, Jazz. Did you just get off the phone with Alice?"

"Yup. She had some interesting things to say about Miss Bella's appearance as she walked through the door. Also, Al was drunk out of her skull."

"Why would she be drunk?"

"Hard rehearsal with Jacob. He accidentally dropped her on her ass, and she kicked him in the balls. They're not happy with each other right now."

I laughed at the mental image. "You picked a hell of a girl, Whitlock. I'm surprised you're not having second thoughts."

"I'll have you know that I'm thinking about asking her to marry me." _What the hell? Jasper, the smooth talkin' womanizer, is finally settling down with a crazed pixie of a girl who has an insane shopping habit and a low tolerance for alcohol._

"Are you for real? How long have you been dating, Jasper, three months?"

"When you know, you know. I love her, man. She's really amazing."

I couldn't deny that the guy had a point. The moment he'd laid eyes on Alice Brandon, he was a goner. He took her home with him that night, and I stayed at a hotel to avoid learning the knowledge that my best friend was a grunter (which Alice told me two days after they met, anyway.) She stayed for three days straight, cooked me meals when I absolutely had to return home, and then gave me the present of a fifty dollar iTunes gift card when she left to return to her own home, stating that she felt guilty for, quote, "making me uncomfortable enough to avoid my rightful place." She was a piece of work, but she and Jasper suited each other well. I'd never seen him smile or laugh as much in the nine years I'd known him.

"You are," I said finally.

"And you and Bella are perfect for each other, you know. I'm just waiting for the two of you to stop meandering and realize it." He left my room, and I heard him banging around in the kitchen.

Jasper's statement caught me off guard. I knew that Bella and I got along well. We had a lot in common, and the sex was really great. I liked the hell out of this girl, but I was kind of afraid that Jasper was right. _Tanya had been perfect for you, too, and look how well that turned out._

I shook my head and sat up, trying to erase the self-doubt and cynicism from my brain. I really did like Bella, and I enjoyed the time I'd spent with her. The thing I wanted most in life, at that moment, was to spend more time with her. The realization that I wanted to date Bella exclusively hit me like a ton of bricks, and I needed to tell someone.

"Jasper!" I shouted.

He came back into my room, holding a bowl of ice cream and grinning at me. "Told ya so."

"I'm in over my head, aren't I?" I asked, already knowing what he'd say.

"In what manner, E? In that you are now keeping a secret surprise from a girl you want to date, or that you've let yourself get close to a girl again for the first time in five years?"

"Both."

"Yeah. You're fucked." _Thanks, Jasper. Maybe you could help me out here?_

"Any suggestions?"

"Pray that your surprise goes over well, try your best to make it seem like you're not blowing her off when you're at rehearsal, and tell her whatever your big epiphany was as soon as you step off of that stage. What was your epiphany?"

"I want to date her exclusively, and not just go on dates and have fun. I want our dates to have a purpose."

"You think you could love her," he stated, his face turning serious.

"I don't know. Maybe. All I know is that I want to find out, and I want her to know that I'm not dating anyone else." _You sound like such a fucking chick, Cullen, all worried about feelings and shit._

"When are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know."

"I'll leave you to your thoughts, man. You look like you're about to get all emo kid angsty on me." He left the room again, shutting the door behind him.

I had no idea what I was doing. The last time I attempted a relationship with a girl, my heart went down in flames and explosions. Now I'd met a girl who was the complete opposite of Tanya, and I was afraid to let my guard down enough to see if this was the real thing. I wanted to give Bella a chance, but I wasn't sure if I was even ready to yet. _But all that matters is what you want to do, so stop moping and get on with your life. Bella is terrific, and you don't want to let this chance pass you by._

Like always, my internal voice was right.

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

I spent the next three days practicing, rehearsing, and fielding questions from Bella. She invited me over again Saturday, and I reluctantly told her I couldn't because I wasn't feeling well. On Sunday, she offered to bring me soup and to take care of me, but I asked her not to since I didn't know how contagious I was. I hated lying to her, and she sounded so hurt every time I told her not to come over. I was hoping that the surprise would be good enough that she would instantly forgive me, but I had a nagging feeling that things were going to go very, very badly.

After the Sunday call, I laid in my bed and wrestled with the idea of telling her the truth. I just wanted to get everything into the open: the concert, the lying, and how I felt about her and our situation. I knew that if she'd give me the chance to explain things in detail that she would say yes to a relationship, and I was eager for more time with her. _And more time motor boating those tantalizing titties._ _Man, that's way inappropriate when compared to your previous thoughts. Get a hold of yourself._

I slept maybe three hours that night. I was thinking way too much and couldn't relax. Jasper knew immediately what was going on when he saw me the next morning.

"Dude, you look like complete shit. Bad dreams?" he asked as he poured his coffee.

"No, just couldn't sleep," I mumbled, grasping my coffee mug in a stranglehold.

"Ah, so you're thinking about the fact that you're lying to the girl you're sleeping with." He added milk and liberal amounts of sugar to his mug.

"I'm really thinking this is a bad idea. I'm one sad-voiced phone call away from telling her everything." I greedily chugged two-thirds of the contents in my mug, hoping that somehow the hot liquid would give me courage.

As if on cue, Alice emerged from Jasper's room, wearing a Spongebob Squarepants pajama set. She walked straight to me, stopping only inches away from my face.

"If I'm able to hold out telling her this long, you'll be able to wait another thirty-six hours. She will love this surprise, and she will be so excited and relieved to hear that you _like_ her in that special way."

"What do you mean when you say relieved, Alice?" I asked, arching one eyebrow.

"She's been kind of worried that you're blowing her off. That's why I was sent to spend the night with Jasper. I was supposed to investigate and make sure there wasn't another woman around." Jasper came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. _Fucking lovebirds. _

"It's okay, though, because Alice knows the truth and will make sure to tell Bella that she's the only woman in your life right now," interjected Jasper in an attempt to lift my spirits. It didn't work.

They left soon after, and I was alone with my thoughts again. I spent the hours practicing for the troublesome concert, making sure that at least _something_ would end up working perfectly. When I wasn't practicing I was at my computer, trying to compose and running into stumbling blocks at every measure. All of the chords sounded wrong and foreign, as if I'd never composed a day in my life. _You need to chill the fuck out before you give yourself a coronary. Bella wouldn't much appreciate it if the guy she's sleeping with drops dead._

I was actually excited to get to the rehearsal that night, relishing in the fact that tomorrow night Bella would know everything and hopefully swoon into my waiting arms. I got to the stage, noting that I was so early most of the choir hadn't even arrived yet. A tiny ball of black-haired energy accosted me as I was about to tune my violin.

"Edward, thank God you're here. I can't be alone with Jacob right now," said Alice, pointing behind her to the man behind her.

"Oh, come on, Alice! All I did was eat _one bite_ of it. It's not like I ate the whole thing," said Jacob as he approached. My blood began to boil on reflex, and I had to tell myself that he had never done anything to incur this kind of senseless wrath.

"What are you talking about?" I asked the two of them, wondering why the dance partners were looking at each other with homicidal thoughts spinning behind their eyes.

"I bought a Snickers to snack on because my blood sugar was dipping and I need to be in top form tonight. I ate a few bites, then set it down so I could get a bottle of water from a different vending machine. When I returned, I saw Jake over here _biting_ into _my_ candy bar," Alice explained, obviously hoping I'd share in the indignation she was feeling.

"I apologized, Al. Look, I'll even buy you a new one, ok?" said Jacob. Alice nodded, then leaped up and gave him a hug. _These two are fucking insane. No wonder Bella writes, she's living in a loony bin full of good material._

Jacob turned his attention to me. "So, yeah, I'm Bella, Alice, and Emmett's friend, Jacob Black. I don't think we've formally met." He extended his hand to me, and I took it. The handshake was firm but not overly so, which meant that he wasn't trying to size me up.

"Hi, Jacob, I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you." Alice stayed silent and watched, looking poised to break up a fight if she needed.

"Look, I'm sorry about the misunderstanding at the party. Bella's always affectionate after a little Mary Jane." _She'd had marijuana that night, too? No wonder she chose Journey, of all things. _"I wouldn't want to deprive Bella of the good lovin' I'm sure you're giving her. She's a sweet girl, and one of my best friends. Although if you're ever looking to get a little kink on the side…" he trailed off, winking at me. _Was he seriously hitting on me?_

"Jacob, stop fucking with him," said Alice, looking apologetically at me before turning murderous eyes towards Jacob.

Jacob laughed, a high-pitched hyena cackle that reminded me of Tom Hulce in _Amadeus._ When he finally stopped, he said to me, "I'm sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood. You seem so intense! Come on, Alice, my darling, it's time to stretch." She waved goodbye to me and took Jacob's hand as they walked to the side of the stage.

The rehearsal went really well. I couldn't watch Alice and Jacob dancing, but the reactions I heard from the choir let me know that it was a stunning piece. The choir director came up to me after the rehearsal, full of gratitude and appreciation for my filling in and awe and praise for the way I played. The choir sounded magnificent, and I was grateful to be working with such a talented group of people.

I drove home quickly, anxious to speak with the beautiful girl I wanted to tell everything to. I decided to leave the violin in the car trunk since I didn't plan on practicing until I got back to the school the next day. I walked into the door of my apartment, prepared to explain everything to Bella.

********

**B POV**

I had decided after the call on Sunday that I would surprise Edward with some TLC the next night. He'd sounded so tired and pitiful on the phone, and I wanted to let him know that he could depend on me in his time of need. _That and you want to get all up close and personal with the Wondercock again._

The past few days had been torture. I'd had the nightmare again Friday night, and the next day the words wouldn't come to me. I desperately wanted the distraction that Edward would be able to provide me, but he told me he was sick. Whenever I offered to come by and take care of him, he refused, stating that he wasn't sure if he was contagious or not. The insecurity I felt after the night he stayed over was welling back up, and I didn't like feeling so vulnerable.

I still hadn't brought up my desire for a real relationship, afraid that he'd find me pathetic and clingy. This fear is what made my actions on Monday night so irrational and crazy.

I called Jasper to get the address and the directions to the apartment so that Edward wouldn't know I was coming. He reluctantly gave it to me, and I heard him mumble something about getting dragged into Edward's messes again. _Wait, what?_

Jasper's comment made me nervous. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head, and most of them involved me finding Edward in bed with one or more women when I arrived at his place. I drove like a maniac, perversely hoping I'd catch him in the act. _Girl, you have some major trust issues. You're on your way to looking like that chick from __Single White Female__._

I ran up the stairs to the third floor apartment Jasper and Edward shared, tomato soup and saltine crackers in hand. I rang the doorbell and waited. Jasper finally opened the door, looking disheveled and stressed out.

"Come on in, Bella," he said.

I all but ran past him, searching the apartment for signs of Edward. I'd never been here before, so I wasn't sure which room was his.

"Where the fuck is he, Jasper?" I asked, twirling around to face the man I was speaking to.

"I think he went to run some errands. He'll be back soon." He looked apologetic and concerned.

My knees started to waver, fearing that Jasper was lying to me. _Why would Edward be running errands while he's sick? Why would he lie to me?_

Jasper took immediate action, leading me to a chair in the living room and setting me down.

"Jasper? When he comes back, I'd like you to talk to him alone, if that's okay." He nodded. "Also, could you put that bag on the counter? I brought him some soup. He said he was sick." I pointed at the bag I'd dropped in the doorway.

Jasper took care of the bag, then turned his attention back to me. "I'm going to go to my room and leave you be," he said, moving quickly.

"No! Please don't let my presence effect whatever you were doing. Stay and talk with me?"

Jasper obliged, and he sat down on the couch next to me. We talked a little about Alice and about his job, and I told him about the book I was writing. He would apologize every few minutes, saying how he was sure Edward was caught in traffic or forgot something at the store.

Finally, he said to me, "I need to make a phone call. Excuse me." He went into his room.

A few minutes later, I heard Jasper yelling at the person on the other end of the phone. "She's fucking sitting here, looking like a lost, dejected puppy! She brought soup, for Christ's sake." Jasper paused for a moment. "It was a terrible plan! I don't want to lie for you anymore." Silence. "This is seriously fucked, you know. She deserves to be treated better. She's head over heels, I can see it from the look in her eyes." More silence. "Look, you need to talk to her and explain everything so that you don't fuck this up. She's the best thing to ever happen to you." I didn't hear anything after that.

How could I have been so stupid? He really _was_ blowing me off. I was positive of this. _He's cheating. That's the best explanation. _I was his twice-a-week girl, and here I am, fucking up the schedule because I'm too caring to know better. I was numb, not sure what to feel or think after I realized that I wasn't the only woman in Edward Cullen's life.

I sat in that chair and waited for him for three hours. Jasper sat next to me on the floor the entire time, trying to talk to me and make sure I wasn't going to murder his roommate. The numbness subsided after the first hour, and it was replaced by fiery rage. _I'm not going to murder him, Jasper dear, don't worry. I'm just going to castrate him and make his testicles a bronzed necklace. That'll teach him to fuck with the emotions of Bella Swan._

Finally, I heard a key hit the lock. Jasper jumped up and darted to him bedroom, closing the door quickly and quietly. I jumped up, the anger in me boiling to a fever pitch, and watched Edward walk through the door. He looked exhausted and sweaty. _Oh, this motherfucker's going down._

When his eyes hit me, a myriad of emotions flash through them, and I wasn't sure which was which. All I knew was that I was pissed.

"Hello, Edward. How was your evening? I see you've made a remarkable recovery," I spat at him, seething venom into every syllable.

"Bella." He looked like he was trying to come up with a good excuse.

"Save your excuses, buddy. I know where you've been."

"You do?" he asked hopefully, eyes brightening.

"Yeah, you've been fucking your other woman. Or other women, who knows? So, am I the Monday and Thursday girl, or do you like to play around with the schedule?"

"What the hell are you talking about? There's no-"

"Save your explanations and excuses, Cullen. Just know that Isabella Swan ain't playing this game." I stalked past him quickly, then paused at the doorway. "Forget my name, forget my number, forget you know me." I left his house, driving home in a blur of headlights and darkness.

I didn't start crying until I saw Alice in the living room of the house. She looked at my face, and I wasn't positive, but a guilty look flickered across her face for a moment. I was too emotionally exhausted to care.

* * *

**A/N:** The title comes from the poem "A Secret Told" by Emily Dickinson.

_Spongebob Squarepants_ is my guilty pleasure. Every single from looks like it's on acid, and that is delightful to me for some reason.

_Amadeus_ is an amazing movie about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. it's not very historically accurate, but the film-making and the acting are superb. Tom Hulce's performance as Mozart is my favorite, even if the shrill laugh makes me want to gouge out my eardrums by the end of the movie.

Love to Edwardville lj community and to the IMDB board. You guys make me happy.

Reviews will make the next update come faster.


	12. Chapter 12: Rakut Tenderness

Thanks to R. for being the love of my life. Thanks to faeriemelie for being there through my rough times and my happy times for the past eight years. Thanks to Starrynytex, whose writing inspires me and whose kind soul makes me grateful to know her.

Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. S. Meyer gets the money for their creation. I make them irrational.

Note: Please go to the following address while reading the below chapter so that you can hear the musical piece performed: http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=O8GbI6v1SpA&feature=related

Just replace the (dot) with a real dot.

* * *

**B POV**

I felt like a terrible friend. I'd spent the whole day in bed, alternatively crying and seething about my skewed perceptions regarding Edward. Alice was by my side the whole time, holding my hand and making me eat during mealtimes. I begged her to let me miss this concert, and she said if I absolutely wanted to that I could. Unfortunately, the way her face fell when she said that sealed my fate. I couldn't let my Alice down.

She helped me get dressed, putting me in a simple black dress with long sleeves and a low neckline. She styled my hair in soft cascading curls and applied smoky eye make-up and subtle pink lipstick to my face. She even let me borrow her super-special concealer to hide the puffiness and redness around my eyes.

After Alice finished packing up her costume and dance bag, we grabbed Emmett and went to the concert hall. I spent the whole car ride complaining about how Edward deceived me, glad that I hadn't worn them down with my constant ranting and raving. They'd complained enough to me about their love lives, so I figured they owed me. We eventually reached our destination and parked the car in a back lot specifically designated for performers before heading into the building.

"Hey, Alice!" called Jasper from about thirty feet away. I'd never see him dressed up before, and was pleased to notice how handsome and put together he looked in his navy suit. His eyes shined with love and tranquility once they hit Alice, and I was completely and utterly jealous. _Lucky bitch. Lucky bastard. Unlucky Bella._

Alice said to us, "I'm going to go backstage, guys, I'll see you after the show."

I said, "I'll walk with you, I want to say hi to Jake."

"No!" squeaked Alice loudly. I narrowed my gaze at her, knowing something was up. "What I meant was, I want our costumes to be a surprise." I knew immediately she was lying by the light sheen of sweat that popped up on her brow. _What troubles are you into, tiny, pesky pixie?_

She kissed Jasper on the cheek and flitted away, leaving us to enter through the front door. We grabbed programs as we entered the hall and quickly found seats close to the front. I sat in between Jasper and Emmett, keeping quiet as I observed my surroundings. After noting that most of the people here were other students at the college, as judged by their wardrobe, I flipped open the program and began reading.

When I got to the entry for Alice's piece, _Five Hebrew Love Songs_ by Eric Whitacre, my mouth dropped. Next to the words "guest violinist" was a name that I recognized: Edward Cullen.

I flipped to the back to read the biographies for the guest performers, absolutely certain that it had to be a different person with the same name. But sure enough, next to the name, was a black and white picture of the beautiful smirking face and unruly bronze hair.

_What the ever-loving hell is going on here? Did Alice have something to do with this?_ My mind was racing, and I looked at Emmett, who was checking out the girl next to him. I looked to Jasper, but he was busy texting on his phone. I was confused, angry, and excited.

Most of all, though, I was wondering if I had been too hasty and if I should have listened to what Edward had to say.

The choir began to file onto the stage, and I placed my attention back on the students. _You'll know everything soon, Bella, and hopefully you won't be so unlucky after all._

I watched the concert anxiously, my leg shaking and bouncing to the rhythms of the different pieces. The piece that Edward, Alice, and Jacob were performing was the last one, so I had to sit through almost an hour of choral music. I didn't really remember what the pieces were, but I did remember a lovely soprano soloist during an Italian piece who handled the long high note with grace and poise. Every note that emerged from her mouth was beautiful.

Soon enough, it was time for the last piece. Emmett reached over, grabbed my hand, and squeezed. I looked over at him, and he winked before squeezing my hand again. It was his silent way of reassuring me, and I was immediately grateful that he was there.

The choir director stepped to the front of the stage, thanking the audience for coming to the performance. He introduced Alice and Jacob, who came out to the stage and bowed. Jacob's costume consisted of loose-fitting jeans that had been cut off at the knees, leaving the edges jagged and uneven. Alice's costume was a white dress with an empire waist, and the skirt's edges were jagged as well. Her dress was very short, and her strong, lean legs made her look taller than she was. I looked over at Jasper, and his eyes were shining so brightly they looked like they were glowing. The love and lust for Alice was radiating from him.

Then the choir director introduced Edward. I was all of a sudden very afraid to see him. What if he saw me and freaked out? What if _I_ saw him and freaked out? My mind was going off on tangents I couldn't follow when the beautiful bronze-haired boy took the stage.

The second I saw him, I knew that I wanted to try to work things out. My body reacted so strongly to his presence that I had to force myself to stay seated. The first thing I noticed was that he was wearing black-rimmed glasses. I'd never seen them before, and I searched my memory trying to find something that hinted that he needed them. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember a single moment where he let it slip. He was also wearing a tuxedo, and he looked so handsome and sophisticated and, oddly, completely at home. _Well, he has spent most of his life on the stage. It's probably more home-y to him than the apartment._

The pianist took a seat at his instrument and plunked a note. Edward lifted the violin and bow in his hands and began tuning. I'd never even known that Edward played the violin. There was so much left to learn, and I knew that I wanted, more than anything, to learn everything about him. The only problem was that I wasn't sure what the whole story behind the misunderstanding was or how much he had lied to me. I don't tolerate lies, not even from Emmett and Alice. _Speaking of, she probably knew about this. You need to set the pixie down for a girl chat, pronto._

The choir director took his place at his music stand and cued in the piano and violin. Edward moved the bow back and forth across the strings elegantly, the notes sounding like the way longing feels. I was immediately struck by the beautiful, clear tone of the notes, and how the piano and violin complemented each other well. When the choir came in, their melodies wound around the sounds of the piano and violin, getting louder and more passionate-sounding for a moment, then suddenly getting softer. Edward closed his eyes and swayed, obviously enjoying the music he played. I'd never seen such a calm, content look on his face before. Even after sex his brow would stay knitted together, small lines forming in the center of his forehead. The only times I'd seen his brow completely smooth was when he was sleeping and now, as he played that wrenching melody on the violin. _Such peaceful serenity… I wish I could feel that way about something._

The first movement ended with a dissonant, unexpected chord, and it jarred me out of my reverie. The next movement of the piece started with the male voices singing a plaintive unison melody that had a hidden layer of yearning, the same kind of yearning I'd heard in Edward's first notes. Then the women came in, singing a fast-tempo chorus while one of the singers tapped a tambourine. Their facial expressions were excited and flirtatious, and they seemed to be enjoying their work. Then the men repeated the first section, the tenors singing a harmony over the basses that sounded desperate. Edward's violin played a mournful air that dipped below and soared above the vocalists' notes, making the desperation of their lines more urgent. The women's return brought more harmony, and I was amazed at how everyone kept on the same tempo without faltering. Finally, the women sang a variation of the men's melody that was so heartbreakingly beautiful that I knew I'd have to ask someone to teach it to me correctly. I was positive I'd be humming the melody for days. Everyone sang a rousing version of the fast-tempo chorus, and it ended abruptly.

At this point, I realized that I hadn't been watching Alice and Jacob. They were on opposite sides of the stage, spinning in opposite directions before stopping to look at each other. Alice twirled and leaped alternatively to Jacob, who was taking long, languid steps toward her. When they reached each other, their arms ghosted caresses down each other's sides, faces full of wonder and awe. Finally, Jacob embraced Alice tightly, lifting her over his head while her arms outstretched like she was flying. He slowly brought her back to the floor, then leaped away almost reluctantly, leaving Alice to curl forlornly onto the floor in a small ball as her hands stroked the wood underneath her. He did a series of turns while crouched on the floor before returning to Alice's side, lifting her chin and looking into her eyes, gently stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. Even though I knew they were playing characters, I was touched by the well of emotions their duet brought up in me. _Get it together, Swan, it's just Alice and Jake. You've seen them dance plenty of times. _

I heard Edward playing a random assortment of notes as the chorus sang in a slow unison. The combination was a perfect blend of happiness, serenity, and fear personified. His fingers moved deftly and swiftly over the strings, quickly vibrating them with his fingers, making the notes tremor like my body during orgasm. I remembered how amazing Edward had made me feel only days before and smiled, hoping maybe he'd see me and know that I was having second thoughts. He looked up at me, almost as if my thoughts had called to him. When his eyes met mine, he couldn't hide the shock. A wide grin spread across his face.

I realized that we'd reached the final movement of the piece. Jacob and Alice were moving in a flirtatious circle around each other, touching the arms and legs of their partner before spiriting away to opposite sides. Edward's violin was playing a melody that sounded like a folk song, happy and solemn at the same time. The choir's harmonies rounded out everything, making the seduction scene between Alice and Jacob a slow burn. Alice was performing a solo in the middle of the stage while Jacob stood on the edge of it and to the right of her. She looked as if she were warring between her desire for Jacob and her conscience, arms reaching out and swinging back, legs taking alternative steps forward and backward. Finally, as the choir sang a section together that sounded like a plea or a prayer, voices trembling with quick notes at the end of the line, Alice leaped onto Jacob, arms circling his neck and legs circling his waist.

Edward began to play the same melody that started the piece, but this time it sounded like there was love behind the tone and not longing. Jacob knelt to the ground, Alice still wrapped around him, and he laid her down onto the ground as if they were about to make love. As the last note of the violin rang out, clear and poignant, Alice and Jacob kissed. The lights went down.

I blinked, letting the tears that had welled up in my eyes fall down at last. The lights went back up again, and Alice and Jacob were holding hands at the front of the stage and bowing. The applause around us was roaring, and when I looked around me I saw that the entire auditorium was standing. I quickly got to my feet, clapping and waving to my wonderfully talented friends.

They walked backwards away from the edge, allowing Edward to take their place. The applause grew even louder, and I caught his eye again. He looked absolutely luminous, and I understood for the first time how much his work in music must mean to him. He winked at me and mouthed something that I didn't catch. It didn't really matter, though, because I was determined to catch him backstage.

The choir filed off of the stage, and the auditorium began to empty out. I felt the vibrations of my phone in my purse, and rummaged around until I found it. I'd received a text message from Alice.

_Meet us backstage in about five minutes. We're waiting for the choir to leave. Edward's with us._

My heart started to beat in erratic patterns as a realized I'd have to talk to Edward about our whole convoluted mess. I knew I was in the wrong for the way I overreacted, and I regretted not letting him explain. From what I could gather now, it seemed like he wanted his performance here to be a surprise for me, and I was either too mistrusting or too frantic for male attention to leave things well enough alone.

I turned towards Jasper, wondering what he knew about the whole situation. When his eyes met mine, the crystalline blue clouded over.

"Nope, I'm not getting in the middle of this, Bella. It's your deal with Edward, and you two need to figure it out on your own before you involve the rest of us," he said, looking over to Emmett for back up.

"Yeah, he's right, Bells. And you better fix it soon, because I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a lying, scheming sack of shit Cullen is," replied Emmett, starting to move down the aisle towards the exit. I followed him quickly, wanting to figure out what the hell had happened in the past two days. I had a feeling I'd end up doing some groveling for my major over-reaction.

When we exited the concert hall, we took a series of twists and turns to find the hallway leading to the backstage area. My heart was about to pull an _Alien _it was beating so hard, and I all of a sudden felt like I couldn't breathe. _Come on, Bella, it's just a guy, no need to get worked up like a virgin on her wedding night._

Emmett pushed open the heavy door that led backstage and held it for me and Jasper. As soon as Jasper was through the threshold Alice was on him and raining kisses all over his face. He chuckled and embraced her tightly, lifting her feet from the ground. Then Alice turned her attention to me.

"Edward's talking to the choir director in the main dressing room. He'll be done in a few minutes, but you're welcome to go track him down. It's not a restricted area or anything," said Alice, pointing behind her and towards her left.

"You and I need to talk sometime tomorrow, Alice. I have a teeny tiny feeling that you had something to do with this complicated chaos," I replied, narrowing my eyes at her to let her know I meant business. She nodded, and I turned to find Edward.

I found a small hallway in the direction Alice had pointed and saw a light coming from a room near the far end of it. I headed in that direction, my feet feeling heavier and heavier as I got closer to the light. I was seriously dreading this moment because I hated being wrong, and I was almost positive that this would be a time where I'd have to admit it. I arrived at my destination, standing near the doorway but not peering in. I didn't want Edward to see me until after he was finished with his conversation.

I heard the person he was speaking to say goodbye, and then an indistinguishable figure zoomed past me. I took a slow deep breath, let it out, and walked in.

He had taken the tuxedo jacket off, and his loosened bow tie was draped over his shoulders. He was gathering papers off of a table top and stuffing them into a messenger bag. He couldn't see me. I cleared my throat and he stopped his actions, keeping his back to me.

"Isabella?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah," I whispered.

He turned around instantly, eyes wild and hopeful. He still had the glasses on, and I had to fight every instinct in my body that told me to rush into his arms. We needed to talk first.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have told you the truth. I fucked this up." He looked so forlorn, and my heart almost broke at the pain I heard in his voice.

"I over-reacted. I should have let you explain what was happening. I didn't trust you." I looked down at my feet as I spoke, ashamed of myself and my actions.

I heard him move closer to me, but I kept my eyes down. I didn't want to get lost in a sea of green at that moment. I didn't feel like I deserved the opportunity. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders, and I leaned into him, sighing in spite of myself when I felt how warm he was.

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Before this… situation, I'd wanted to ask what your feelings about making our relationship exclusive were. I hope you'll still consider the idea."

It took me a few tries before I could get the words out. "I'm terrible at relationships, as if you couldn't already guess."

"I don't care. I really like you, Isabella. I was hoping you'd feel the same way."

I looked up at him, zeroing in on the expression in his eyes. They were full of tenderness and sincerity. "Let's go for it, Cullen. I'm growing rather fond of you."

He smiled that wonderfully adorable crooked smile at me, and I could feel my heart melting into a gooey puddle. _You are so pathetic, Swan. One smile and you're a groupie._

He dropped his arms and grabbed my hands in one fluid motion. "Come on, Bella, let's go find the rest of the gang. We're going out."

********

**E POV**

Everything was right with the world. Well, that's how it seemed to me, anyway. I'd played a beautiful piece of music, worked things out with Bella, and was now having a late dinner with a great group of people.

Emmett said, "So, Cullen, how come you never told us you could play the violin?" He reached to the middle of the table to grab a piece of bread from the basket.

"No one asked," I replied, sipping on my gin and tonic and sneaking glances at my lovely date. _Dude, she's, like, your girlfriend now. Start thinking like it._

"Edward? What instruments can you play?" asked Bella, her eyes looking especially round and innocent as she turned toward me.

"I can play piano, violin, viola, cello, upright bass, electric bass, guitar, drums, orchestral percussion, oboe, and clarinet." I tried to look meek, hoping that it didn't seem like I was bragging.

Really, the only thing I could concentrate on was how beautiful Bella looked and how happy I was that we'd fixed our misunderstanding. Something had shifted in our dynamic after we admitted that we were into each other in a way that surpassed just sex. We were already more affectionate in front of our friends, not letting go of the other's hand unless absolutely necessary. She leaned over four times in the twenty-minute span we'd been at the restaurant to kiss me, not caring that Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Jacob, and Seth were watching us. _Makes me wonder what else she'd be willing to do in public._

Bella knocked me out of my thoughts by saying, "Wow, I didn't know you had so many… talents." She winked at me, and all of the blood in my body rushed to my cock. The hand that held mine pulled our hands underneath the table to rest on my knee before loosening from my grip. She turned my hand to face palm up and began lightly, slowly stroking my palm back and forth from the tip of my middle finger to my wrist. It made me want to throw her over my shoulder and take her to the car for some one-on-one time. _Calm down, Caveman Cullen, you have plenty of time to play with her later. _

I saw Seth give Jacob a kiss on the cheek, and Jacob giggled lightly. Jasper had an arm around Alice and was whispering into her ear. Emmett was eating everything edible on the table. Bella's cheeks were slightly flushed, and I raised the hand she wasn't stroking to cup her cheek.

"You look stunning tonight, Isabella," I whispered as I leaned closer.

"And you look absolutely drop-dead sexy with your glasses, Mr. Cullen," she replied, her voice husky and breathless. I _loved_ when she spoke in low tones.

"Should we tell the rest of the table that we're official?"

"Nah, we'll tell them tomorrow. Let's just have tonight for us, especially since you know Alice will have something to say." My hand slid down and around her neck, twisting into the hair at the base of it.

"You're going to come stay the night with me," I stated, not leaving any room for discussion. I needed to just be with her, talk to her, and (if she wasn't opposed) get naked with her.

"I need to grab some stuff from home first." She stopped stroking my hand and wrapped hers into mine, fingers grasping tightly and winding together.

Jacob stood up from his seat next to Bella, clinking his wine glass with a knife. "I'd like to propose a toast," he said, pausing to make sure everyone was paying attention to him. "To Edward Cullen, the master violinist, the sexiest straight man I've ever seen in person, and the only person I've ever met who can put a smile that huge on my Bella's face. Welcome to our crazy mixed-up family." Everyone raised and clinked glasses before sipping their beverages. Bella leaned over and kissed me softly on my lips. The rest of the group cheered and cat-called, but we didn't care. We just felt happy that our misunderstanding had been remedied.

Jasper leaned over to me and whispered, "I'm glad you worked things out. You two are perfect for each other." He clapped a hand on my shoulder, then turned his attention back to Alice.

We finished our dinner with the group, talking about the performance and analyzing the different aspects of it. I realized that Jacob was incredibly thoughtful and serious when talking about his art, and I was curious to get to know this person that was such a large part of both Bella's past and present. Emmett cracked jokes the whole night, providing a comedic relief that was definitely needed after the tense, emotional twenty-four hours Bella and I had experienced. When we left the restaurant, Jasper drove with Alice, Bella, and Emmett so that he could stay with Alice for the night as I drove home.

I waited anxiously for Bella's arrival. I straightened up the living room twice, checked my room and bathroom to make sure everything was in order, and changed into a pair of grey sweatpants and a black wife beater tank top. Right after I slipped the tank top on I heard a knock at my door.

I zipped to the door, looking through the peephole to make sure it was Bella on my doorstep. After the quick glance confirmed her presence, I opened the door up to let her inside.

She was still wearing the simple black dress, and her hair was still styled in the soft curls that spilled around her shoulders. She set her purse and tote bag down in the living room and turned to me.

I was upon her in seconds, hands weaving into her hair and pulling her closer. Her succulent lips, so soft and full, forcefully met mine, sucking my top lip in between them. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but already we were out of breath.

She pulled out of my embrace and went to the couch, settling in and putting her feet up on the armrest. "So, Cullen, we should talk about what happened yesterday. I want to know the whole story."

I sighed, knowing that she wouldn't drop the subject until the whole story was out there. "I got the call about filling in for the originally scheduled violinist just before the night I stayed over. I was going to ask you to come, but Alice mentioned her concert, and I realized it was the same one I'd agreed to do. I panicked and didn't tell you because… I'm not really sure. I just did."

"Was it because you regretted our… activities during that night?" she asked, voice level and solid. _How can she be so fucking calm when I'm over here about to collapse into a pathetic heap?_

"Of course not. Isabella, I'm not very experienced at this whole dating thing. I've only had one other serious girlfriend before you, and it ended horribly." _I really hope that my verbal outpouring doesn't make her think I'm a __**complete **__social reject._

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry if I was too forward with you."

"You weren't! I'm a consenting adult in this, and I was right there with you. Anyway, I've been scared about the kinds of signals I'm sending you and whether or not I'm screwing things up. And in my worry, I screwed it up anyway." I moved to kneel in front of her. "I am so sorry." _Please stay with me, because I'm a weak, vulnerable mess who can't stop thinking about your sexy body and how tight your dress is, even if it's completely at odds with the subject of our discussion._

She grabbed my hands into hers and asked, "So, why didn't you tell me about the concert afterwards?"

"Alice called me and asked why I wasn't coming to see her dance. I explained the situation, and she told me it'd be a fun idea if I made it a surprise. She was really adamant about it, and I played along. Every time I told you not to come over or that I couldn't spend time with you, I was at rehearsal. There's not another woman, I promise." I looked down at our hands, watching the strain in her muscles as she clenched my hands as tight as possible.

"I'll have to talk to Alice about it, then." I looked up at her and saw her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I'm sorry for not letting you explain. I… I've been hurt badly by guys before. I didn't let myself trust you." One single tear slid down her right cheek, and I reached up, hand still wrapped in hers, and brushed it away.

"I'll earn your trust, Isabella. I'll always be honest with you, if you want me to be. I'm really glad you agreed to make this relationship a private twosome." I kissed her hands, and she gave one low chuckle.

"Are we going to use labels like 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'? It seems so… high school."

"I don't care. I'm just glad I get to kiss you again." I stood up and leaned over her, proving my point with a quick peck on her lips.

I pulled her to her feet as her eyes examined her surroundings. "This is a nice place, E. I might have to stay over more often."

"As much as you want, B. Mi casa es su casa."

She looked back and forth between the bedroom doors on opposite sides of the living room. "Which one's your room?"

"The one on the left."

She grabbed her belongings and went to my room. I followed her, watching as she set her bags near my nightstand. She went into the bathroom to inspect it, coming out a minute later.

She walked up to me slowly, eyes growing darker with purpose. "Help me with my zipper?" she asked, turning around.

_Oh, hell yes._

_

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_**A/N: **Title comes "Rakut", the fifth movement of _Five Hebrew Love Songs_ by Eric Whitacre.

The piece of music featured in this piece is absolutely amazing. The best version is the audio recording is from the University of Miami Chorale.

Thank you to my readers for sticking it out thus far with me. All of you make my heart smile.

Reviews are like making up with Edward after hearing beautiful music.


	13. Chapter 13: A Dream Pang

Thanks to R. for his love, cuddles, and concerns. He gave me an amazing weekend. Thanks to faeriemelie for fitting me into her college schedule. Good luck, sweetie! Thanks to queenofgrey for inspiring me so much with her stories _Carpe Noctem and Fiat Lux_ and _In Bloom_ without realizing it. Yay for new friends. Thanks to Starrynytex for the text messages that break up the monotony and for being a fuckawesome beta.

**News/Note: **This update is later than intended due to me getting sick. I'm not 100% yet, but I'll be better soon! Also, my updates will now be once a week on Mondays because my work schedule doesn't allow me as much free time anymore. I'm sorry, darlings. I appreciate all the love you've given me, and I'm sorry for not answering reviews. Illness is not conducive to review replying.

Disclaimer: S Meyer makes the dinero from these characters. I make them miscommunicate and have awesome sex.

* * *

**E POV**

I slid the zipper down slowly, lightly skimming her skin as the metal moved inch by inch. A shiver ran through her, and I could see goose bumps on the skin of her back as the fabric fell away. I put my hands on her shoulders, moving the dress off her arms leisurely , knowing that if I sped up even a minute amount that I throw her against the wall and pound into her.

She turned around, fixating chocolate brown eyes on me. She pulled the rest of her dress down and left it in a pool at her feet on the floor, her eyes never moving from mine.

"You know, we never have any problems when it comes to sex," she whispered as she leaned into me, snaking one hand to the nape of my neck and pulling her lips to my ear.

I turned my head a little to put my own lips against her ear and whispered back, "Maybe we should spend all our time in bed then, Isabella." I embraced her fully, pressing the line of my body against her and lightly pressing my lips on the side of her neck.

"I was thinking more like the kitchen counter," she replied, wrapping her arms around my neck. _Naughty little minx._

I slid my hands down her waist and over her ass, gently lifting underneath at her thighs. She jumped up and wrapped both legs around my waist as her lips met mine violently, mouth opening and tongue lapping at mine. She tasted like the wine she'd been drinking, and my head started spinning from the sweetness of her mouth and the movements she was making with her hips.

I walked out of my room and towards the kitchen with Bella still wrapped around me. I leaned her against the counter, and she removed her arms from my neck to scoot herself into a comfortable position. I stepped away from her, hands grasping the hem of my shirt to begin to lift it off. She cried out, taking my hands away from the clothing and into hers.

_Wait, what the hell?_

"What's wrong?" I asked, confused as to what I'd done to make our sexy times halt abruptly.

"Keep the shirt on. It looks sexy on you." She lowered her eyes, and her cheeks flushed a bright crimson. _Oh, fuck, she's being innocent __**and**__ sexy. You're a goner._

"If you so please." I instead lowered my sweatpants and underwear in one fell swoop. I felt a little awkward with my cock sticking out just below the hem of my shirt, but after seeing Bella's eyes widen and darken I felt more secure.

She pulled her arms to her back, unclasping her bra and sliding the straps down her arms. She tossed the garment at me with a soft giggle, then beckoned me forward with one finger. I was over to her in a second.

"You are so fucking beautiful, do you know that?" I whispered into the skin of her throat as my lips grazed down her skin. She moaned, grasping my hands and pulling them up to cup her breasts.

"You're definitely making me consider the thought. Now move your fingers on me like you did on the violin strings." Her head leaned back, lips parted and eyes closed, as she waited for me to act.

I slid my fingers over her nipples quickly, hands mirroring each other. I moved up and down for a few swift strokes before letting my fingers stop at the undersides of her breasts. Then I slid my index fingers slowly up to her nipples and flicked up and down on the tightened flesh, creating a vibrato that resounded through her entire body. Her gasps and moans sounded like the most divine of melodies, swirling around my head and clouding my focus of everything else around me except for her.

I leaned my head forward, darting my tongue across one nipple in a perfect imitation of the movements of my fingers. She called out my name loudly, and I couldn't stop the smile from spreading on my face. I lifted my head so that I could stare into her eyes.

"What do you want me to do, Isabella? What would you like from me?" I asked, pressing my lips to hers delicately and quickly.

"Um… I don't know. I can't think. I just want you," she breathed, her lips brushing mine as they formed the words. She quickly pushed me away and pulled her panties down and off her body in a nanosecond. _She's just as antsy as you, dude. Score._

I chuckled, then bent down to kiss her stomach. She leaned back farther on the counter to give me better access. I licked a slow circle around her belly button, and her right leg shot up, kneeing me on the side of my chin.

"Motherfucker!" I exclaimed. I'd fallen to the ground as I rubbed my injured chin. I looked up at Bella, who had covered her mouth with one hand and was staring at me with the most horrified expression on her face.

"Are you alright?" she asked, her expression frozen on her face.

"I'm fine. What the hell was that, though?" _This is seriously some crazy shit. I hope I didn't do something offensive, though._

"It tickled. I couldn't stop it."

There she was, aghast at her actions and completely naked, telling me that she just kneed me in the face because licking her stomach tickled. The whole scenario seemed really random and bizarre to me, but the look in her eyes told me that she was completely terrified that she'd seriously hurt me. I didn't want her to feel guilty, so I stood up and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Everything's okay, Bella. I'm still in the mood if you are." She nodded at me tentatively, eyes turned downward and hair covering her face like a veil. _Nothing could bring me down from the mood for sex except for your mouth or pussy around my cock giving me sweet release. Bella, my dear, you better get used to that fact._

I bent to the ground so that I could stare into her eyes without forcing her to look at me. I was on my knees, my face at eye level with her thighs. Waving at her, I knew that she could see me through the mass of russet locks even if she didn't want to seem like she could. Leaning over, I kissed her knees, little pecks alternating back and forth. I moved my hand up to brush some of the hair out of her face, and was finally able to see that she was smiling at me.

I brought my hand down and used it to spread her knees apart, inch by inch. I heard her breath catch in her throat as she realized my intent and continued to alternate kisses on each leg, moving to the inside of her thigh. As I got closer to the promised land the kisses became slower, and Bella would lean back a little bit more with each one. Finally, I reached my destined spot and left a slow, open-mouth kiss as if I were kissing her mouth.

"Dear God, Edward," she moaned, hands burrowing themselves into my hair and tugging slightly.

I continued to kiss her, darting my tongue for strategic licks that brought the most amazing, deep-throated sounds from Bella's mouth. She tasted like nothing I'd ever tasted before, tangy and salty and amazing. I couldn't get enough and soon abandoned the kisses for full licks, burrowing around and exploring every bit of flesh where my tongue would fit.

Bella wrapped her legs around my head, ankles clasping together in the middle of my back. Her hands continued their pulling and tugging in my hair, letting me know that she was enjoying herself. I inserted two fingers into the warm, wet flesh below my tongue and her knees clench around my ears. I worked my fingers in time with the strokes of my tongue, searching for that special soft patch that would drive her crazy. _Aha, found it._

Her hands tugged my hair hard as she pushed my face even closer to her body. She began to grind her hips in the same rhythm as my ministrations, meeting me stroke for stroke.

"Fuck, Edward, if you don't get inside me right this second, I'm pulling out my vibrator," she gasped at me, pulling me away from her. I stood up and made a show of wiping my mouth and chin with the back of my hand, smiling at her in the way that always seems to make her swoon. She made a whimpering kind of noise, so I decided to give her even more of a show and licked the fingers that were inside her moments earlier.

"You taste like heaven, Isabella. Either that or you're a demon sent to break my will and drag me to the underworld. Either way, I'm right there with you," I murmured to her as I stepped in closer to her, lining myself up to her opening. After I'd finished my last words, I kissed her fully on the mouth as I pushed inside her. _Jesus Christ, she's so wet and tight._

She wrapped her arms and legs around me, grasping and pulling as she took me into her. Her hands fiddled with the fabric of the tank top she insisted I keep on, running her hands across my shoulders and down my back. I slid my hands against the countertop until I found her butt, then moved up a little to claim a hold on her hips and guide my thrusts better. Her hands moved back up into my hair as her eyes closed. She leaned her head back, mouth a little open, as she gently ran fingers through it.

"Sex hair," she murmured. "Always looks like you've been freshly fucked." She opened her eyes, and the dark shadows of lust and desire made them look hypnotic.

I slid my hands underneath her ass and picked her up, still buried deep inside her. I walked over to Jasper's closed door and pushed her back against it, keeping one hand on her butt and moving the other to the door to keep some leverage. My thrusts grew deeper and harder, and Bella's moans grew louder and more primal. _If she screams when she comes, I'll fucking go nuts._

"So close, Edward," she whispered into my ear after a few minutes. I bent my knees a little to help me keep her up as I moved the hand underneath her ass and around hip and forward to rub her clit. Almost as soon as my fingers connected to that small, burning nub I felt her walls clamp around my cock almost relentlessly, pushing me over the edge and into orgasm-induced oblivion.

I lowered Bella and myself down onto the floor, lying down in each other's arms. Her hands traced circles and swirls along the muscles of my chest, and every few seconds she'd leave a small kiss on my chest or stomach.

"Do you think Jasper will be mad that my ass was all over his door?" Bella asked me after she'd caught her breath.

"Jasper doesn't have to know," I replied, winking at her. She giggled and laid her head down on my chest.

"I like listening to your heart beat. It's so comforting."

"It's because of the steady rhythm. Even though the heart doesn't always beat steadily, when it does the rhythm makes a listener calm."

"Is that why you love music so much? You looked so at peace on stage earlier tonight." _Wow, she's observant. I wonder if she's noticed that mole on my ass in the shape of Kentucky? Wait a sec, Cullen, gotta respond._

"I think the reason I love music so much is that it's so expressive and so personal. Every person in that auditorium had a completely unique musical experience tonight, and they each saw something in the music that they could relate to on a deep, complex level."

"That's how I feel about writing. My readers all take away from the story different aspects that spoke to them." We laid there in silence for a few minutes, and I contemplated the differences and similarities in my artistic endeavors when compared to Bella's. I made a mental note to try to bring up the subject again when we weren't so worn out.

Bella hopped up onto her feet and held her hands out to help me up. Once I was on my feet she said, "I'm pretty tired. Would you mind if we went to sleep early tonight?"

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. "Nope, I'm perfectly fine going to sleep."

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

_Bella and I were walking hand in hand down the street near her house, talking about Beethoven's symphonies and the writings of Ana__ï__s Nin. She stepped ahead of me and in front of me, going on tiptoe and kissing me on the lips. All of a sudden I hear a screeching noise. Before I can register what has happened, a van comes careening towards us. I turn Bella's body around, trying to protect her from the inevitable impact. We are hit, and I feel something slice through my back and poke out of my abdomen. Our bodies are thrown to the ground by the weight of the metal. I look down in horror as I see a sharp piece of metal impaling me and going through Bella, pinning us to the ground. Bella is unconscious, blood streaming from her mouth. I scream for her to wake up, but she doesn't._

I bolted up, eyes searching frantically for the girl in my dream. She wasn't lying beside me anymore, and I was afraid something had happened to her. _Chill out, it was just a dream._

I see light streaming underneath my door, and I heave a sigh of relief. Bella was in the living room, and she was perfectly safe. I got out of my bed and slowly opened my bedroom door. I saw Bella sitting at the kitchen table, hair looking disheveled as she wrote furiously in a small black notebook.

"Bella?" I said, wondering what was going on. I looked for the clock above the TV and saw that the time was four AM. _She must have had a bad dream too._

She didn't reply to me. I walked up behind her, and she never noticed my presence. Finally, I was close enough to feel her body heat, and she still didn't acknowledge my presence. I looked down to read what she'd been writing.

_I have no idea what the fuck these dreams mean. At first they were all the same - the mysterious falling man that I didn't know - but now that the falling man has turned into Edward I'm not sure what to do. And tonight's dream was even worse, and so completely different from the others. James' presence makes me wonder what the hell is going on in my psyche. Sometimes when I don't have the falling man dream I dream instead of the times James hit me, and that makes me feel even worse upon waking because it was real. I still feel guilty about not telling Alice and Emmett the extent of James' treatment, but I so want to protect them. They'd be so disappointed in me for letting him hurt me like that, and I have no idea why I didn't stop him or leave him. I guess I'm just weak. Granted, I was never raped or even really beaten by him, and other women have been through worse and survived. Hell, James has put other women through worse. I feel like I'm pathetic because a few smacks have made me so incredibly scared to get close to men. I know Edward is trustworthy, I really do. His eyes are so sensitive and vivid in the emotions they express, and I can see into his heart and know that he would never treat a person badly. I know that the whole problem we'd had for the past few days was because I was looking for something in him to distrust, and because I caught him in a lie, I was sure that the absolute worst had happened. If I'd just been a rational adult, he would have told me everything, and I could have saved us a day's anguish. There's no real reason to act like this. I think I'm just afraid… afraid to live, afraid to love, afraid to let myself forget._

I finished reading the words on the page and looked at Bella. She was still staring at the notebook in front of her, and I saw two tears fall from her face onto the paper.

"Who is James, Isabella?" I asked. She jumped, snapping the notebook closed. She looked incredibly distraught, and my heart broke for her. Still, I had to know what her deal was.

"Who the hell is James, Bella?" I asked again. She looked up at me, pleading silently that she needed a minute to gather her thoughts. I sat down beside her and waited for her to speak.

********

**B POV**

_The dream starts off as it usually does: the man that has now become Edward leads me down an abyss, pleading with me to trust him. When we fall, we land on our feet in the middle of a forest. Nothing is wrong with either of us, and he keeps smiling at me, eyes twinkling with unseen humor. Then his expression changes to one of surprise. He whips his head to the right, then starts pulling me backward with him. There is a person hidden in the trees, and they are too far away for me to see who it is. Edward keeps pulling me away, but the person is moving faster than we are. Finally I recognize the figure in the forest: James. He sneers at me._

_"Hello again, Bella. It's been awhile, hasn't it?" he says, voice growling like a feral animal. I ignore his words, but Edward looks at me with shock at the fact that this man knows me._

_"Bella, you can't ignore me. I won't let you. You've caused me too much trouble already," continues James, and he pulls something from his back. It's a pistol, almost exactly like the one Charlie carries with his uniform._

_"No, James, don't do it," I plead, trying to pull Edward away faster. "Come on, Edward, move!" He doesn't budge, but instead drops my hand and walks towards James._

_"I'm not going to let you hurt her," says Edward sternly, approaching the armed man with confidence and strength. James pulls the shotgun up, cocks it, and fires._

_The beautiful man who had been standing next to me only moments before is now on the forest floor. There's blood, so much blood, bright red and glittering in the sunlight. The spatters hit in all directions, and I drop to my knees, sobbing and gasping for air. James steps forward, shotgun still up and pointing towards me._

_"It's your turn now, you evil bitch." He fires, and I look down to see the blood blooming like a field of poppies from underneath my shirt. I scream and scream, but no one can hear me._

I woke with a start. I looked over to my right and saw Edward's still form, face peaceful and innocent in sleep. I reached over to lightly stroke his face, trying my best not to wake him. I felt relief wash over me as my mind comprehended that Edward is perfectly fine.

I slipped out of bed as silently as possible and went to find my bag on the floor of Edward's room. I rummaged around to find my notebook and a pen. I opened the door to his room and tiptoed out, closing the door behind me. I searched around until I found the light for the kitchen and sat down at the table.

_Why would I dream about James? I mean, it's not like he's a real threat to me anymore. He and I broke up two years ago, and he's been in prison almost as long. Sure, he's getting out in two weeks, and I might run into him, but I know that he's not a real threat anymore. Besides, the restraining order's still in place. Why am I so scared?_

I kept thinking about James and Edward, and all of a sudden words started pouring out of me. My hand couldn't write the words fast enough. They gushed out of me along with all the emotions of the past few weeks: the excitement of meeting and getting to know Edward, the fear of screwing things up, the frustration with my writing, the elation when I could write, the anger at the misunderstanding from yesterday. All of it poured out of me onto the pages. When I was finished with the emotional purge, a few tears fell down my face and onto my notebook, smudging a few words.

"Who is James, Isabella?" I heard from behind me. I jumped and snapped my notebook shut, not realizing that Edward was awake and behind me. _Wait, he asked who James was. He read this page over your shoulder. Fuck._

"Who the hell is James, Bella?" he repeated, and I looked up at him, hoping he could read from my eyes that I didn't want to talk about the subject. His face looked set and determined, and after a few seconds he moved to sit in the chair next to mine. He was waiting for me to speak.

I breathed in deeply, thinking about how to formulate the words. I looked down at my hands lying on the table, not wanting him to see my face as I told him my pathetic tale.

"James is my ex-boyfriend. We began dating during my sophomore year of college. I was writing the first book then, and he would read my chapters and critique them for me. That's how we met: I put out an ad for help in reviewing my work. He was so incredibly brilliant, a graduate student in the English department. He had a way of making me feel completely at ease and confident in my writing.

"When he and I started dating, everything seemed perfect. He would send me presents and flowers almost daily, and he was always around, wanting to see me and hang out with me. Alice and Emmett didn't like him, and they thought he was a little possessive and controlling of me. I should have listened to them.

"One day Jacob came over with some weed, and we smoked a lot more than we should have. James came home to find me half-dressed and lying with Jake on a couch watching a movie. He even knew that Jake was gay, but it didn't stop him from getting pissed off at me. He waited until Jake left before he hit me. He apologized almost immediately after, saying that he was drunk and that he didn't mean it. But he did it again.

"A couple of weeks later, Emmett saw a bruise on me and made me tell him everything. I left out a few details, like that it'd happened before, because I didn't want him to see me as pathetic." I looked up at Edward, hoping that I wouldn't see pity or disgust in his expression. All I saw was concern.

"I knew what the signs of an abusive boyfriend were. My father's a police chief, and he'd always taught me to stand up for myself. I still don't understand how I could have let him hurt me like that. I think that it was because he was so intelligent and such a mentor to me. He made me feel good about my writing, and I was so afraid to send it out to publishers. I went to therapy for a while, and the therapist told me that it was possible that my vulnerability in being away from my father and the fact that I'd had to take care of him and Emmett for so long after my mother's death may have contributed to it."

I cradled my head in my hands and let the tears swimming in my eyes come to the surface. I was so afraid that Edward would see me as a pathetic, lowly creature now instead of the strong, intelligent, confident girl he'd met just weeks ago.

I felt his hands on mine, pulling them away from my face. I looked up at him but couldn't see clearly though all the tears.

"How many times did he hit you before you left?" he asked me, holding my hands tightly in his.

"Three," I replied quietly. "After the first time, I gave him a benefit of a doubt. The second time, I told him if he did it again, I was leaving. The third time, I was too ashamed of the fact that I let him do it twice before that I just wanted to will it all away. I was so lucky Emmett stepped in."

"Does he still live in the city?"

"Yes and no. He did for a little bit, but was arrested about a month after we broke up for beating a woman severely. She almost died." The tears were flowing even harder now as I felt the guilt that always arose when I thought about that poor woman who felt the brunt of James' cruelty.

"Did you press charges?"

"No, but I got a speedy restraining order. It's the benefit of having a police officer for a father." I smiled weakly at him, and he smiled back. _Well, he hasn't run yet. He might be a keeper._

"Do you know how to use a gun? You know, just in case." He looked furious now, and I was wondering if he was planning on doing something to James.

"I do. I also take a bunch of self-defense classes with Alice, like judo and Krav Maga. She ended up in a similar situation around the same time. I can't even imagine all the pain we put Emmett through." _Except that Alice had it so much worse._

"You seem afraid of me, Isabella. I'm not going to hurt you." He seemed so sad, and I wanted to erase all of those bad feelings from him. My fears weren't his fault, but he was unfairly feeling the consequences of my past misjudgments.

"I know this deep down. I just have a hard time trusting people now because of what happened."

"It's understandable. I want you to know that I don't think that what he did to you makes you weak, though, Isabella. It makes him a bastard and a coward, but it doesn't make you weak. The fact that you got away so quickly and didn't try to hide it longer from your loved ones shows that you have amazing strength inside of your spirit." He leaned over and pressed his lips softly to mine, reassuring me of his feelings with one small touch.

"I know that now. After all of the therapy and the critical praise for my books I realized that I was looking for something in James that I'd had all along. I just never realized." I smiled a real smile at him, hoping he could see my appreciation for not forcing me out the door after my revelation.

"I've noticed that a lot of people can only discover their true strength after a trying ordeal. You're lucky that you know your strength now."

"You know, if we were being fair, you'd tell me a story from your past now. I understand if you don't want to, though." _But please do. Please tell me I'm not the only one with skeletons in the their closet._

He looked mighty uncomfortable, and I regretted my statement immediately. I was surprised when he opened his mouth to speak.

"Do you know who Tanya Denali is?"

"Yeah, she's a mezzo-soprano. She sings for the Metropolitan Opera."

"She and I dated for four years. She's the reason I walked away from the one thing I've loved my entire life for five years."

He looked completely anguished, and I wondered if his story could possibly be worse than mine. _I sure hope not, for both of our sakes._

* * *

**A/N:** Title comes from the poem "A Dream Pang" by Robert Frost.

Shout-out to Edwardville lj community. You ladies make me a happy person. I love you all. Same goes for the IMDB board.

Reviews make Tanya revelations come faster. And make James suffer a horrible fate.

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	14. Chapter 14: Best of You

Thanks to R. for his encouragement and for his amazing sense of humor. Thanks to faeriemelie for keeping me in her college schedule. Thanks to queenofgrey for her support last night when I was a mess. Thanks to Starrynytex for dealing with my extreme enthusiasm about certain upcoming projects.

Note: I am now more settled in my job, so I should be replying to reviews much more often.

Disclaimer: S. Meyer gets the pay-out from these characters. I make them a little angsty from time to time.

* * *

**B POV**

I waited for what seemed like ages before he finally spoke in a clear, sure tone.

"I've had a long time to process the nature of my relationship with Tanya, a lot of time to reflect and deconstruct and torture myself with every single minute detail. I have tons of perspective on it, but none of it really makes complete sense since I don't know Tanya's side of the story. Hell, I'd known Tanya for four years before we parted ways, and most of the time I felt like she was a complete stranger." He ran his fingers through his hair nervously, then set his hands flat on the table. I instantly grabbed one with mine, rubbing the back of his hand reassuringly.

"Take your time, Edward," I said to him softly. "It was easier for me to share because I'd already been thinking about it all. Just let the words come when they can."

"Isabella," he breathed, covering my hand with the one I wasn't stroking. He gave me a small smile, and his eyes looked wide and weary. _Well, of course, it's three in the fucking morning._

"If you want to go back to sleep and talk about this later…" I spoke.

"No," he interjected, "now is fine." He took a deep breath, then began to speak.

"I met Tanya when I was sixteen. I'd only known Jasper for a few months, and social interaction was a completely new concept for me outside of the concert hall. His sister Rosalie had made a new friend who was about to start her first year of study at Juilliard, and she wanted me to show her new friend around. That friend was Tanya.

"Tanya was two years older than me, and she seemed even more timid and shy than I was. Her eyes held this perpetual fear in them, and I was completely drawn in by her obvious vulnerability. She apologized so much that day, saying that she felt guilty that I got roped into being her tour guide. Then, when I showed her some of the performance halls, her eyes lit up, and she was stunning. The fire in her eyes made her strawberry blonde hair seem brighter, made her skin glow. I couldn't take my eyes of her. When she noticed me staring, she giggled bashfully.

"I didn't see her again until after school had started up. I was still only going to classes on the weekend while I attended a private high school during the week, but Tanya was at the college level of Juilliard, so she studied there all week. I didn't have any classes with her, but would see her in some of the buildings from time to time. We'd always chat for a few minutes, but never really developed what one would call a true friendship until she asked for my help on an assignment, stating that she had a really hard time with music theory and that she knew I was a genius at it." He paused for a moment, looking down at the table. His eyes flew up to meet mine when he continued.

"She asked me to meet her at the apartment she was sharing with a few of the other girls at the school. When I got there, she pulled me in by my shirt collar and kissed me. 'I've been wanting to do that for ages,' she said afterward. It was my first kiss.

"Then she went about doing her schoolwork like nothing had happened. I was completely confused, but I couldn't say anything. My thoughts were too jumbled, and I had to concentrate on helping her with the theory stuff. When I got home that night, I furiously composed a song for her, a song that was passionate and bombastic and comprised all of the confusion and lust I'd felt when she pressed her lips to mine. Everyone agreed it was my most interesting and complicated piece to date, and my professors were impressed by the new maturity in my composition style.

"Helping Tanya with her schoolwork became a weekly routine, and every time I'd show up she'd greet me at the door with an ardent kiss before working on the subject she was having problems with. After about two months of this, I finally snapped. 'What are you doing, Tanya?' I asked. 'Why do you greet me like that and then pretend like nothing happened?' She responded with, 'I wasn't sure if you liked me or not. That was the best way to let you know I liked you.' Vulnerability and fear of rejection flashed across her eyes, and I ended up asking her out then and there.

"I took her to see an opera at the Met. We saw _La Boheme._ Her eyes were wide and reverent the whole night, and the expressions on her face were so fascinating. At that time, I'd never seen anything as beautiful." _I wonder what he's seen since then to top it?_

"When I took her home she pulled me into her apartment, mouth pressed to mine and hands everywhere. Before I could comprehend what was happening, she was in my arms only wearing her bra and panties. Then she pulled away, stating that I was still too young for this, and that she'd have to wait. She ran into her room, closing and locking the door behind her. I left, wondering why the hell this confused, passionate woman was so intriguing to me.

"I was surprised when she called me the next day, explaining that since I was sixteen, I was still below New York's age of consent, and that she didn't want to risk any complications while I was still a minor. She then asked if I was still interested in dating her, and I told her I was. We went on dates, but nothing ever escalated beyond a small kiss at the end of the night.

"On my seventeenth birthday, Jasper threw me a huge party at his home. There were so many people there, and it felt a little overwhelming. Tanya was glued to my side the whole night, running her hands through my hair and clutching my arm like she was staking a claim on me.

"When we left Jasper's, she asked me to come up to her apartment with her so that she could give me her present. When we were in her bedroom, she began to remove her clothes. 'You're legal now, Edward, and I want you to have the best birthday present you can imagine,' she said. I was so naïve, so inexperienced and desperate, and I couldn't say no. I thought I was in love with her."

"And now you realize that you weren't?" I asked, breaking my silent listening before he could continue.

"More like I realized that I loved her, but wasn't _in_ love with her, as cliché as that sounds. I possibly could have been, but the events of our relationship made those feelings change. Tanya… she's not easily defined. Things would be working perfectly one minute, and then she'd yell at me for picking up the wrong kind of tomatoes for lunch. Her moods changed in instances, and I could never predict what kind of disposition she'd be in when I saw her. On the day I told her I loved her, she responded, 'Don't be absurd.' The next night, she apologized and told me she loved me, too.

"By the time I was twenty, she'd changed a lot. She was belittling me, always complaining about my appearance or something I'd said or something I'd done. She'd gained a bit of success in her voice studio, and it completely went to her head. She held a superiority complex over her fellow voice students, even when I was the one who ended up doing her written schoolwork for her. She would be gentle and charming frequently, but only to get her way in an argument. Once she'd gotten what she desired she was back to the ridicule and derision.

"Our sex life was… amazing. It was the only thing that was consistent about our relationship. She was my first, and she was patient with me as I learned how to please her. In our last year together, things changed there, too. She asked me to do… things that I wasn't comfortable doing. And once I agreed, the next time it'd progress to something worse. That year was when I realized just how manipulative and sadistic she could be. She enjoyed my humiliation and discomfort.

"My composing suffered greatly. I'd always been able to 'hear' the music in my head, and all I had to do was transcribe it onto paper, or later on, into the computer. When Tanya and I first started dating the compositions flew out of me. By the time I realized things were beginning to fall apart I couldn't compose anything. The music just… stopped."

"Why did you stay with her, Edward? Why stay when you weren't happy?" I asked quickly, hoping he didn't interpret it as an interruption. I just needed to know his answer. I needed to know his feelings on the situation so I could know what actions to take later on.

"I was afraid of being alone, I guess. I'd never had another girlfriend before Tanya, and I was afraid that no one would want me besides her." He turned his face away from me, and I grasped his face, turning it so that he looked me in the eyes.

"That's completely absurd. You have an amazing heart, a beautiful soul. You're intelligent and kind and sexy as hell. Any woman would be lucky to have you. I feel incredibly lucky to know you." I kissed his lips gently, and when I pulled away, I noticed his eyes were wide and surprised.

"No one's ever complimented me outside of music. It's… unexpected." A smile stretched across his face, the first true smile I'd seen in all the time we'd been talking.

"I'm being completely honest, you know. I really think those things about you."

"And I have many things to compliment you on as well, but first I'd like to finish my story."

"I'm sorry, go ahead."

"I'd written an amazing mezzo-soprano song cycle. I called it _La fille avec les yeux brillants_ because Tanya's eyes were always so dazzling, even if I couldn't read the expression in them. I started it when we began our friendship, and I added songs to it as our relationship progressed. We were premiering it at Carnegie Hall; she was going to sing it and I was going to conduct. Once it was announced that we were going to perform it together, her demeanor changed. She was as sweet and gentle as she'd been when we first met. I was ecstatic that what I perceived to be her true personality was back. I always attributed her cruelty and her anger to the stress Juilliard inflicts on all of its students. Now that she'd gotten some success and a chance to break out, she was all smiles and compassion.

"I remember the night of the concert so clearly. Tanya was wearing a sapphire blue dress that hugged her curves and made her appear like a goddess. I was so nervous before we stepped on stage, and she laughed and said, 'Don't be nervous. You're brilliant and I'm amazing. We'll knock the socks off this place.' She kissed my cheek and went to warm up, and I yelled out that I loved her as she walked away. She didn't reply.

"Everything went perfectly. Tanya's tone was so clear and beautiful, and she handled the one high B wonderfully. The orchestra followed my every cue, and when it was over, we received a standing ovation. I was on top of the world, and the exhilaration I normally feel after a performance was ten times higher in that moment.

"Tanya and I left the concert arm in arm. I took her back to her place, but when I went to kiss her she pulled away. She said, 'It's been fun, Edward, but I think it's time we went our separate ways. I don't need you anymore.' I begged and pleaded, telling her that I could be better and that I'd do anything to make her happy. She responded with, 'Stop the begging, you're disgracing and humiliating yourself. I never really loved you, how could you not see it? Just, leave, Edward. Just leave.' And I left.

"I went home and tried to play my piano. It always made me feel better when I was upset, ever since I first started playing. The notes I played were for the song cycle, and I began to sob when I realized it. Every time I tried to play an instrument, something I'd composed for Tanya would be what I played. Music hurt too much, and I quit.

"A few months later I received an e-mail from Tanya. She apologized for her actions and said she missed me. I never replied. She'd hurt me too much, and I didn't want to make myself that vulnerable to her again. From there you know the story: I worked in the corporate scene with Jasper until he moved out here. I continued working in New York, but realized that something was missing. I took a leave and moved out here, hoping to compose again."

"Have you?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

He flashed that amazingly sexy half smirk at me. "Yes. I'm hearing the notes again. I have something in my head right now that I need to get on paper or play or something."

"What instrument is it for?" I asked. I stood up and offered my hands to him. He took them and got to his feet.

"Piano. Why do you ask?"

"Can you wait a little longer? I have a baby grand in the room next to Emmett's that no one uses. It was a gift from my editor when I signed my most recent contract. She knew that I wanted to learn how to play, even though I never did. I want to hear your music, Edward." I looked up at him, our hands locked together. He leaned in a little, putting his face an inch away from mine.

"Sounds good to me, but isn't everyone at your house right now?"

"Yeah, but we probably wouldn't be disturbing them. Emmett sleeps like a hibernating bear. Besides, I think we could use the camaraderie right now, anyway."

"Bella, you didn't have to tell me about James if you really didn't want to, you know. I wouldn't have pried. I just wanted to erase the pain from your face." He raised a hand to my face, lightly running his thumb along my cheekbone.

"I think I needed to share it with you so that you could understand my actions better. You know, you didn't have to tell me about Tanya, either."

"Well, I think it needed to be shared, too, for the exact reason you shared with me. Come on, Bella, let's go to your place. I want to show you my music."

He pressed his lips to mine, gathering me up in his arms. I tangled my hands into his hair, pulling him closer to me. We pulled apart from each other and quickly got dressed, going about our usual morning routines in synchronized movements as if we'd been doing it together for years. I dressed in the simple jeans and tank top outfit I'd packed, and Edward looked just as casual in khaki cargo pants and a black T-shirt. We were ready to leave in minutes, and as we drove in my truck, the night sky only just starting to lighten with dawn's first light, I realized that maybe Edward Cullen was the one who would heal the hurt that James caused. The thought brought a smile to my face, and I looked over at Edward. I was greeted with the soft upturning of lips and sparkling green eyes. He'd made me feel confident and bold in all of our interactions, and I felt such appreciation and tenderness for this man who made me feel the opposite of what I'd felt with James. _Holy shit, I might actually be falling for him._

********

**E POV**

_You finally told her about Tanya, and she hasn't run screaming. She's either completely insane or your soul mate, _I thought to myself as I sat in her vehicle. It was an old, red truck that didn't go very fast, so we had a lot of time to either talk or ponder. Since neither of us had said a word since leaving my apartment, it seemed that pondering was on the menu at this early hour.

She looked over at me with this huge grin on her face, her eyes bleary from exhaustion and emotional strain. Still, she seemed like she'd just moved a huge load off of her chest, and I smiled back at her, hoping to convey that I was glad that we'd revealed our pasts, too. Her smile grew wider, and I reached over to grab the hand on the gear shift. Our fingers entwined, mine long and thin and hers shorter and softer. Her hands weren't that much smaller than mine, but at the moment they seemed to engulf hers. _Or maybe you're just remembering how vulnerable and fragile she was only an hour ago._

The truck gradually made its way to her house, Bella's hand staying tightly curled in mine. When we arrived, she sat there a moment before pulling her hand back and getting out of the truck. _Was that trepidation? Was she really that reluctant to give her hand back? What could that mean?_

I stood in the living room as she went to her room and put away her belongings. She returned a few seconds later and took my hand in hers, leading me quickly to the door next to Emmett's. It was right next to the TV, and I wondered to myself why I never noticed it before. She opened it carefully, trying not to make more sound than necessary. Inside was a large room with two couches on opposite walls, a bar set up in a corner, mirrors on three of the walls, and a black baby grand piano in the dead center.

"Why keep the piano if no one plays it?" I asked her as I stared in wonder at the beautifully crafted instrument in front of me.

"Alice can play a little, and Seth can play basic blue progressions. We usually just come up here and hang out. The piano serves as a food bar most of the time," she said sheepishly, obviously ashamed at her poor treatment of such a magnificent instrument.

I walked over to the piano and lifted the lid that covered the keys. I plunked a note, trying to distinguish whether or not the piano had been tuned recently. The C sharp I played sounded like it should, and I was pleased that at least the piano was in tune. _And now Bella has someone to play for her. Plus, there's all kinds of fun positions on this piano to fuck her in._

I pulled the piano bench out and seated myself on it, placing my hands over the keys tentatively. I didn't get to practice on the piano much anymore, and I was afraid that Bella would be judging me. _Wait a second, dude, she doesn't know anything about music, and you've been able to play Mozart sonatas memorized since you were five. It's going to be okay. Grow a pair._

I began to test a random assortment of chords, listening closely to make sure they sounded right. I'd always been this thorough before playing a new piano, and it was an old habit to break. When I was satisfied that the tuning was perfect, I looked up at Bella. She was still standing in the doorway, watching me with a wondrous expression on her face.

"Come sit next to me," I asked her, waving my arm towards my body for emphasis. She hesitantly took a couple of steps before taking three long strides and settling herself to the right of me on the bench.

"What were you doing?" she asked me, her eyes fixating on my hands as they hovered over the sea of black and white underneath them.

"I was checking to see if the piano is in tune. I have perfect pitch," I explained, and she nodded in understanding.

"So, what do you call the piece swirling in your head?" she asked, eyes flicking upward to meet mine.

"I believe I'll call it 'Bella's Lullaby.' It popped up once I saw you writing at the kitchen table when I realized that something was wrong. Did you have a nightmare?" I asked her. She nodded. "I want to give you this so that you never have problems sleeping again."

Her eyes flicked down to the piano, and I hoped and prayed that I hadn't said something that would cause her to re-think our relationship. She'd done so much for me in helping me realize I'm not the whipping boy Tanya had made me into, and I was hoping she was feeling the same kinds of things for me.

I took a deep breath, exhaled, and put my fingers to the keys. The notes gushed out of me, and I wasn't really cognizant of what I was playing. Whenever I played something that I hadn't committed to paper it always flowed like this, as if I'd played the melody a thousand times before. My hands moved up and down the keyboard as if by their own will and I looked over to Bella to see what her reaction was. Her eyes were closed and a light flush had spread across her cheeks. There was a small amount of light streaming in the window, the first rays of the new morn, and it created a halo effect around the crown of her head. I saw the natural red highlights in her hair glinting from the sunshine peeking through, and her skin looked like porcelain. She was so beautiful.

My hands began to slow in the ritardando of the last few measures of the piece, and I watched my hands play the last few notes of her song. I let the last notes linger in the air, wanting desperately to know what Bella was thinking but keeping myself from watching her expression. I needed to hear the words. We sat in silence for a few moments before she began to speak.

"That was lovely," she whispered, her voice sounding crackly. I looked over at her and saw tears gliding down her cheeks in symmetrical lines. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me and kissing her on the forehead.

"Thank you. It's yours now. I can have it recorded if you want a copy," I whispered into her ear, and she nodded her answer to me.

We sat there with Bella in my arms for what seemed like ages. Finally, I slipped my arms from around her shoulders and set my hands back on the keys, saying, "I think it's time to change the mood a little bit. I'm personally in the mood for some morning Chopin." With that, I began to pound out the opening notes of Chopin's _Scherzo No. 1 in B Minor_, relishing in the power of the vibrations that moved through the wood of the instrument in front of me. Whenever I needed to get in control of myself or change the mood in a room, I always turn to Chopin. He'd never steered me wrong.

About halfway through the first section I heard the door open. I turned my head to see Emmett standing in the doorway.

"Guys, I hate to break up this little music-making pow-wow going on, but it's like six o' clock in the fucking morning. If you don't stop, I'm waking up Alice and Jasper, and they'll stop you," he said, eyes half-closed. He was wearing footie pajamas with footballs on them, and I had to stifle the laughter bubbling in my throat.

"Em, where the hell did you get those?" asked Bella before I could remark on Emmett's attire.

"They were a gag gift from Jake for my last birthday. Fucker didn't realize that they were so damn comfy," he replied, scratching his head absent-mindedly.

"As long as there isn't a trap door," I interjected, my hands continuing to play. _Alice and Jasper will surely be up by now, and your ass will be grass._

He turned around and left the room, grumbling something that was incoherent to me. Luckily, there was no trap door in Emmett's pajamas. I turned my attention back to the piece I was playing, but after I played about four measures I felt Bella's hands sliding under my shirt and onto my chest.

"Come on, Edward, let's go hang out with our friends. And after that, let's spend some quality alone time together," she purred at me, fingers lightly brushing over my nipples and then moving down my torso, tracing the planes of the muscles in my stomach. My hands lifted from the piano instantly as I stood from the piano bench and dragged Bella into the living room. _Thank God you ended your playing on a sensible cadence. And the fact that you noticed that makes you a complete nerd._

Alice and Jasper had awoken by then, and their pajamas added to the insanity. Alice was wearing a pink baby-doll nightgown and pigtails in her hair, whereas Jasper's attire consisted of a T-shirt with Chuck Norris' face on it and royal purple boxers. Bella took one look at our assortment of friends and burst into hysterical laughter. Her laughter brought about mine, and we collapsed into each other's arms, holding the other up as our laughter consumed us.

"Guys? I don't see what's so hilarious, but then again, we're not the ones pounding on a piano at the ass crack of dawn," seethed Alice as she shot daggers at us with her eyes.

"E, I haven't had the Chopin wake up call since we were nineteen," remarked Jasper, looking back and forth between me and Bella as he tried to figure out what was going on.

"Come on, let's go eat something," said Bella as she moved into the kitchen area.

Twenty minutes later we were all seated at the kitchen table, everyone eating omelets and bacon while I ate blueberry bagels with cream cheese.

"So, last night I told Edward about James," stated Bella before shoving a piece of bacon in her mouth. _Wait, why is she bringing this up at the breakfast table?_

"Really? The whole story?" asked Emmett, his words muffled by the food wedged between in jaws.

"Yeah," she replied, "I told him the whole story, and he seemed really supportive and understanding. Then he told me about his ex Tanya."

Jasper spit the orange juice in his mouth across the table at Emmett in shock. Emmett made a disgusted noise and ran out of the room to find a towel so he could clean himself up.

"Dude, you told her about Tanya?" Jasper exclaimed. "Like, every single detail?"

"No, not every detail, Jasper, there's some stuff that I'd rather not be revealed quite yet. I did summarize, though, and she understands. It's okay," I said, giving Jasper a pointed look that I hoped conveyed that he should keep his mouth shut. I was slightly uncomfortable with the situation, but I was following Bella's lead. I figured that she had a very open relationship with Emmett and Alice and that this was normal for them.

Emmett came back into the room and said, "So, you guys were honest with each other about your pasts. Good deal. Honesty and communication are the back bone to every good relationship." He paused. "Also, hot monkey sex in various positions helps, too. Just don't tell me details about my sister in bed, E, or I'll have to strangle your ass." Emmett went back to his food, shoveling it into his mouth like he was in a competition.

When we finished our breakfast, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice all left the house to shop for some new patio furniture for Bella's pool area. We both knew that they were actually giving us some time alone. As the left, Bella reminded Alice that when they got home that they would have to have a serious talk. I was kind of nervous for Alice, because I'd gotten a taste of Bella's anger and knew how powerful (and scary) it could be.

We went into the living room and popped _Sweeney Todd_ into the DVD player. Bella and I laid down on the couch, my body spooning hers as we settled in for some Tim Burton-y goodness.

"Just so you know, I'm always ready to listen if you want to tell me more of the details about the Tanya thing. I won't judge you or anything, especially since I'm not in a position to judge," Bella said over the opening credits.

"I know," I spoke into her ear, and I noticed her body shiver at the light contact of my lips to her earlobe. "I'm just not ready. Do you understand?"

"I do. I want you to know that I'm here for you and I care for you is all." With that, we watched our movie in silence.

When the movie was over, Bella rolled over to face me. Her lips met mine with fiery passion, tongue swiftly entering my mouth and beginning the unraveling of my senses. Our clothing fell away quickly, and our physical joining on that couch was a slow burn, her body moving on top of mine in a perfectly even undulating rhythm. Her breasts bounced with her every movement, and her sighs and moans grew louder and more primal with every roll of her hips. I could see my cock moving in and out of her as she gyrated on top of me, and it was almost too much. Luckily, she reached her climax quickly, and with one last slow press of her hips into mine my cock shuddered in the most intense orgasm I'd ever felt.

She collapsed on top of me, arms snaking around my neck, and I thought to myself, _You are probably the luckiest bastard in the world. Don't take her for granted like that asshole ex of hers did._

_

* * *

_**A/N: **Title comes from the song "Best of You" by The Foo Fighters.

_La Boheme_ is an amazing opera by Puccini. The musical _Rent_ was loosely based off of it. Check it out.

Chopin's _Scherzo No. 1 in B Minor_ was recommended to me by the lovely lisa89. Thank you for your piano expertise, my dear!

_Sweeney Todd_ in all incarnations rocks my socks. Amazing musical, amazing story. Stephen Sondheim is a Broadway diety. The movie also rocks my socks, but then again, anything involving Tim Burton and Johnny Depp does.

Big ups to EV and the IMDB board. I've been kind of absent lately. I'm sorry!

**Announcement**: I am participating in The Twilight Twenty-Five challenge. It is a series of twenty-five prompts that must be completed in either drabble or one-shot form by December 1st. My entries are on my profile under the story _The Twilight Twenty-Five Tales._

Reviews are almost as good as sexy times on the couch.


	15. Chapter 15: Be Kind

Thanks to R. for being amazing and amusing. I'm so excited to see you this weekend for your birthday! Thanks to faeriemelie for being willing to share Alexander Skarsgard with me. Thanks to queenofgrey for not yet blocking my phone number. I realize I probably text too much. Thanks to Starrynytex for being an awesome beta and for also not blocking my number. Seriously, when did I become such a texting fiend?

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. That privilege belongs to S. Meyer. I instead make them watch Tim Burton movies and have couch sex.

* * *

**B POV**

After our playtime on the couch, Edward and I gathered our clothing up and dressed quickly. We knew that our friends would be home soon, and we wanted to make sure we were decent when they arrived. I spent the time mentally preparing for my confrontation with Alice.

Alice and I had been so close for so long that it completely threw me that she could be so off about something dealing with me. She knew of my hatred for surprises before she suggested this idea to Edward, and she kept the plan going even though she saw the misery it was causing both Edward and myself. Hell, she cuddled me and listened as I ripped Edward apart without saying a word. _Probably because she knew she'd be in big shit if she did. Like she isn't already._

As if on cue, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice arrived. Emmett and Jasper were carrying some large boxes towards the back of the house, and I decided to grab the opportunity to speak with Alice.

"Al? Remember when I said we needed to talk today? I'd like to do that now, if you don't mind," I said sweetly, praying that this wouldn't turn into a huge, dramatic scene.

She followed me silently, and when she and I were both in the room I shut the door behind us to discourage interruptions.

"What the hell were you thinking, Alice?" I asked as she sat down on the bed.

"You're talking about the concert, I assume," she sighed. I nodded, and she continued. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. I wanted you to have a surprise that you liked instead of a surprise that made you sad, like James and your mom."

"You saw my confusion at Edward's actions. You saw me come home in tears thinking he was sleeping with other women. You laid in my bed with me, silent as a statue, while I called him every ugly name I knew. How could you let me think such awful things about him if they weren't true? You hurt at least two people who are big parts of your life. What did Jasper think of all of this?"

"As if you don't know what Jasper thought. You were at the apartment when he called me and yelled at me over the phone for letting this get too out of hand," she spat at me, looking furious that I'd brought her boyfriend into the discussion. _Hypocritical bitch. Wait, what did she say?_

"Jasper was on the phone with _you_? I thought it was Edward!" I exclaimed, incredulous at the actions of my closest friend. I had no idea what was going on in her head, and I was pretty sure that I didn't want to.

"Yeah, it was me. By the time I actually saw you, though, I figured it was too late for me to tell you the truth. Besides, you and Edward worked things out, so it really was for the best."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? It wasn't for the best! I didn't trust him, and now he knows about James and my insecurities! Tell me, Mary Alice Brandon, did you tell Jasper about the sadistic shit you went through with Marcus within a month of knowing each other? No, because you told me when you told him, and it was like four days before I met Edward. Because of your actions Edward and I had to air out the skeletons in our closets, and it could have ruined _everything_. You and I have been like sisters for almost two decades, and it feels like you don't even know me right now. If you did, you'd have realized what a terrible fucking idea it was!" I was really feeling my anger now, and Alice's calm exterior was pissing me off even more.

"All I can say is that I'm sorry. I didn't think my actions through, and my determination in following through with the plan caused undue stress and anguish for you and Edward."

"'I'm sorry' isn't good enough. You've never thought your decisions through once in our entire history. That's how I ended up almost dying when we went cliff-diving that summer before college! If Jake hadn't been there I would have _drowned_. You stayed with Marcus, even after he fucking burnt you with his cigarettes. Why would you subject yourself to that kind of torture when you don't have to?"

Alice stood up and walked towards me, stopping inches away from my face. "Oh, like I'm the only one here who's been in that situation. You wouldn't have told us about James if Emmett hadn't forced it out of you. It wouldn't have been long before your name would have been on the news as another domestic violence statistic." She gave me a sardonic little smirk, and I wanted to punch her in the face.

"Yeah, but we had to have _two_ interventions with you. You were so adamant about the fact that he loved you. No wonder you're on those pills, you are clearly DELUSIONAL!"

After I spoke those words, I felt a stinging on the side of my face before I realized what had happened. I brought my hand up to my left cheek, feeling the skin there grow hotter by the second as it reacted to the blow Alice had given me. I stared into her eyes, and they were a dark brown fiery hatred blazing at me.

I spoke before I realized the implications of the words flying out of my mouth. "Get the fuck out of my house, Brandon."

She stared at me in shock. "You can't mean that, Bella." Her eyes were imploring, begging me to retract my rash statement.

"I do. I don't care where you go, but you better be out of my house in the next hour. Take whatever you want from your room and go. You can set up a schedule with Emmett to get the rest of your belongings when I'm not here."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her torso. "Bella, please."

"I'm sorry, Alice, I really am, but I've been doing this for too long. As entertaining and fun your crazy schemes used to be they're now too dangerous for me to play along anymore. I can't keep putting myself in the position of vulnerability and expect to keep my sanity. I can't do it. Not anymore." I walked past her swiftly and went into my bathroom, locking the door behind me. I sat down at the edge of my bathtub and began to sob. _I just broke up with my best friend. What am I going to do without Alice?_

I couldn't remember my life without her presence smack dab in the center of everything. I'd have never met Edward if it hadn't been for her relationship with Jasper. I'd never have left Forks if Alice hadn't insisted on applying at UCLA. My life would have been completely different without her. How was I going to survive without her parties and her early morning talks? How will Emmett be able to handle both her work and his own? Still, she'd lied to me and done something that caused me so much pain and uncertainty. I couldn't just forgive her, because I still felt the effects of her backfired plan.

_Fuck it all. I'm taking a bath and forgetting about everyone for now._ I began to disrobe, wondering for a brief second what was going on outside of my bathroom door before letting my mind, body, and spirit relax and forget the past ten minutes. _I'll deal with the aftermath later. If I think about it, I'll break._

**_****_**

**E POV**

Jasper, Emmett, and I all sat at the kitchen table, listening to the two women yelling at each other.

"We should go in there before one of them says something they don't mean," whispered Jasper, and Emmett shook his head vehemently.

"No, they'll just get mad at us for interrupting. They'll handle it, don't worry," replied Emmett, keeping his voice low.

We heard Bella shout, "Yeah, but we had to have _two_ interventions with you. You were so adamant about the fact that he loved you. No wonder you're on those pills, you were clearly completely DELUSIONAL!" Then we heard a cracking sound. All three of us were on our feet in an instant, waiting to hear the next words and determine if we should finally intervene. Instead, we didn't hear anything.

A few minutes later, Alice emerged from Bella's room with mascara streaked down her face. She approached us slowly, stopping about four feet away from Jasper.

"Bella has ordered me out of her house. I have an hour to pack up some of my belongings and leave. Emmett, she told me that if I want to get the rest of my stuff that I need to arrange a time with you so that I can be here when Bella is not," she spoke mechanically, turning on her heel and heading to her room. It was as if the hyperactive mischievous pixie had been replaced by a cold robot.

Jasper made a move to follow her, and Emmett put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "No, man, this is my job. I've been a big brother to both of them for almost twenty years. I'll take care of it," Emmett said to him. He slipped past Jasper and darted for Alice's room. Jasper and I sat back down at the table. The silence surrounding us was deafening as the emotions of our women settled into the air. I was the one who broke the silence, unable to bear it any longer.

"Alice had an abusive boyfriend who burned her?" I asked, letting my curiosity get the best of me.

"He did worse than that. It's not my story to tell, though, dude. It took me a while to really process it when she told me, but after she did it made a lot of her actions make sense. She was always so light-hearted and active, even when we were alone and could have relaxed. In reality, that act is her way of keeping her guard up. No one but the people in this house knows that she takes anti-anxiety medication. I didn't know for a long time, but she has really bad nightmares about Marcus and the shit he used to do to her," Jasper said with his head hanging down. I had no idea that Alice had been through so much and that she was hiding so much from the world. I stared at my best friend's expression, trying to figure out how much he had been effected by this information.

"How did it make you feel knowing that someone had hurt Alice like that? How did you deal with it?" I asked, knowing that his reaction would help me gauge my own reaction to all of the new information I'd gained about Bella. I was still uneasy about it, but I was making sure I didn't let her know. I didn't want her to think that I judged her or couldn't handle her baggage, especially when I had plenty of baggage of my own. _Dude, you have enough baggage for ten people. Hers shouldn't be that hard to understand._

"Honestly, it made me want to kill the guy slowly with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. After the useless rage settled, though, I looked at all of the things Alice had been through and saw that even though she still had some problems that she wasn't afraid to love with all of herself. Has she or Bella ever told you about her family?" I shook my head. "Her mother was an alcoholic. Alice had a younger sister who was taken from her mom by her father, but he left Alice because he thought that Alice wasn't really his daughter. Alice had to take care of herself and her mom from an early age, and the only respite she got was when she was at Bella's house. Bella's mother, Renee was more of a mother to Alice in three years than her own mother has been in twenty-two. Bella's dad, Charlie always welcomed Alice into his home with open arms. Alice told me once that she writes Charlie letters once a week and always calls him 'Dad' in them. Bella and Emmett don't know about the letters."

"Poor thing. She's had a really rough time, from the sounds of things. Still, she should have stepped in and told Bella once she saw the pain she was putting everyone through. You called Alice while Bella was waiting for me on Monday night?" I asked, not believing that Jasper hadn't told me about that. Granted, after Bella left that night, I went into my room and moped for almost twenty-four hours.

"Yeah. This whole thing was her suggestion, and she had told me earlier about how down and suspicious Bella was about you. I yelled at her about how the truth needed to be revealed, and she screamed back, insisting that everything would turn out fine. She was so adamant about the fact that everything would be okay. She has such good intentions, but she doesn't think about consequences that much, which can obviously cause some problems. They'll work it out eventually, though. I can't imagine ever cutting someone I'd been that close to for that long off completely." He sighed, looking exhausted and weary. _Poor bastard. I wonder what all this drama will end up doing to me._

"I'm guessing Alice is going to come stay with us?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"Yeah, she doesn't have anywhere else to go, except for maybe Jake's. I'd rather she be with me. I'm going to go see what's going on with her and Emmett." He got up from the table and headed to Alice's room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I knew that I was starting to feel things for Bella, things that could eventually grow into love. I also knew that she was insecure about herself because of the actions of a douche bag who didn't realize how amazing she really was. Now she'd just kicked her best friend out of her life, and I had no idea what to do to help her. _First thing you can do is check on her, you jackass. She's been alone in her room for a while._

I immediately dashed to her bedroom door, knocking on it loudly and quickly. I didn't hear an answer for a while, so I slowly opened the door and peeked inside. She wasn't in her bedroom, so I figured she must be in the bathroom. I knocked on that door and heard a soft "Come in." I did.

Bella was sitting on the fluffy blue rug near the bathtub completely naked. Her skin was dripping rivulets of water, and slight streams of water were running from the ends of her hair down her back and shoulders. She was tracing her fingers along the patterns of the rug and staring off into space.

"Bella?" I said tentatively, not wanting to startle her.

"Alice and I have been friends for seventeen years. Seventeen years. And now it's all gone. I remember the first day Alice and I met. She walked up to me on that first day of kindergarten and declared, 'You and I are going to be best friends forever.' I was so struck by how sure of herself she was. I followed her confidence in that statement for seventeen years. Now I've realized that she took my kindness for granted because of her confidence in that statement." She looked up at me and I saw the redness from crying in her eyes. I bent down to sit next to her, pulling her into my arms and setting her down in my lap once I was settled on the floor.

Once she'd gotten comfortable she continued. "We've been through so much. I watched her father take her younger sister from her mom and the descent of her mother's dependency on alcohol. She was the only person I talked to for three weeks after my mother died. She and I know every little detail about the other: first kiss, first date, first time, first break-up. I have no idea what to do without her, Edward." She buried her head into my shoulder and began to sob.

I brought my hand up to her soaked hair and stroked it gently, trying to reassure her. "I think what you two need is some time apart to re-evaluate things. After you two can see the events of the past few weeks with some perspective you might find that you feel differently. Give it a little time," I murmured into her hair, the scent of strawberries hitting me like a ton of bricks. _As much as that smell turns you on, right now is __**not**__ the time._

She stayed silent as she cried into my shirt. I rocked back and forth slightly, stroking her hair and rubbing her back in an effort to calm her. After what seemed like hours she finally stopped crying. She lifted her head up and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand before looking at me.

"If she seems a little off-kilter, remember that she likes chocolate chip pancakes best for breakfast and pizza best for dinner. She also loves lemonade with extra sugar. Make sure to tell Jasper," she whispered. I nodded, and she crawled out of my lap to stand up.

Once she was on her feet she said, "I'm sorry that this happened. I just had to make sure she knew that I couldn't be persuaded into going along with her thoughts and feelings on everything anymore. I feel like my entire life has been manipulated by her."

I stood up quickly. "It's alright. Would you like for me to stay the night with you?" I asked.

"No, I'd rather it be just me and Emmett. He and I have a lot to discuss in regards to my work, since Alice is technically my personal assistant." She went into her room to dress, and I followed, watching her gather up clothing and slip them on in quick, fluid movements. She grabbed her hairbrush off of her nightstand and began to run it through her hair when she noticed my staring.

"What?" she asked, pausing mid-stroke.

"You look beautiful," I replied, letting her know my exact thought at the moment. She gave me a soft smile and finished brushing her hair. Then she crossed the room to me and threw her arms around my neck.

"Thank you for being you," she said before brushing her lips against mine. I wrapped one arm around her body while I pushed one hand into her hair, deepening the kiss. Her lips were cool from the water drying on her skin, but her mouth was hot when she opened it and licked my bottom lip. I opened my mouth in response, letting her tongue dart across mine. We kissed in pushes and pulls, giving and taking from the other in equal measures. She tasted like how her shampoo smelled. The kiss ended too soon, and she pulled away.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" she said. I kissed her cheek quickly before leaving the room, calling out that I'd give her a phone call when I got home.

Jasper and Alice weren't in the living room or the kitchen when I left Bella's room, but Emmett was. He heard me coming into the room and turned to me.

"They're outside waiting for you in the car. Alice couldn't bear to be in the house any longer," he said, pointing toward the front door.

"Thanks," I said, headed for the door.

"Hey, Edward?"

I turned around to face Emmett. "Yeah?"

"I think their best chance of fixing this lies with you and Jasper. I have faith that you two can help my girls reunite." He left the room, and I turned and walked out the door.

It'd been a crazy twenty-four hours. _At least you have Bella back._

********

**B POV**

After Edward left, I crawled into my bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. I drifted to sleep quickly, my mind and body worn out from the past twenty-four hours. I awoke to find my room was completely dark. I looked over at my nightstand and saw that the time was nine PM. I stretched my limbs, feeling my joints crack a little and my muscles elongate.

My door opened, the handle thudding against the wall because of the strength used on it. Emmett stood in my doorway, looking gigantic and menacing because of the light streaming in behind him.

"Bells, it's time to get out of bed. We need to talk," he said, placing his hands on his hips.

"If you insist," I grumbled at him as I rolled over the side of my bed, stumbling to my feet like I'd had too much to drink. _Hmm, some alcohol would be nice about now… I wonder if there's any tequila in the cupboard…_

"Let's go to the couch," Emmett said, knocking me out of my tequila daydream. I followed him into the living room and collapsed on the couch. He sat down at the end of it, and I kicked my feet up into his lap.

"Okay, what do you have to say?" I asked, knowing that he'd have a lot to say about the situation with Alice.

"I know you're probably still pretty pissed off and upset about the Alice thing, but I think kicking her out of the house was a little extreme," he replied bluntly.

"Emmett, you've witnessed every little thing she has done to manipulate me to her will. You should know as well as I do that it had to be done so I could save my own sanity."

"You miss her, Bella. I can see it in your eyes that you miss her. Tomorrow you'll realize what you've done and that you can't live without her."

"You make her sound like my lover, Em."

"Alice really has been the great love of your life for the past seventeen years, though. Jasper can't even compete with you, Bells. Edward knows well enough not to even try. Men will come and go, but you can't replace a friend like Alice. Remember the night of your first high school break-up?"

I giggled at the memory. "Yeah, Alice spent the night and held me as I cried. She called that guy every terrible name she could think of and told me that someday a remarkable, intelligent, sensitive, sexy man would care for me and love me and make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world who mattered."

"Do you have any other friends who would do that for you?"

I thought about it for a moment. Jessica Stanley was a stupid whore who I tolerated because she was pretty harmless. Lauren Mallory was bitchy and mean to me, but she always brought the expensive tequila. Angela was a sweetheart, but I didn't know her well enough to know if she would be willing to counsel me through a break-up the way Alice had.

"Shit, you're right, Emmett," I replied, eyes growing wide. _What have I done? What the fuck am I going to do?_

"Now, I'm not saying that you should go call her immediately and ask her to come back. You said some pretty hurtful things to her, and you were so loud that Edward heard the stuff that Alice likes to keep from people who aren't like family. I think you should take the next week to cool off and think about things, and then you two can meet up and discuss what happened."

"When did you get to be so wise? Last I checked you couldn't even figure out how to turn on the washing machine."

"I know women, Bells," he said with a wink. _Ew, I do __**not**__ want to think about my brother's sex life._

We sat on the couch for a while, talking about our childhood and the impact having Alice there had made. I realized that I really wouldn't be where I am or _who_ I am without her, and I felt terrible for yelling at her. Still, she had done something that caused me so much emotional stress, and I couldn't reconcile the two conflicting feelings. _Hopefully a week of reflection will help._

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

The week passed so incredibly slowly that I was positive that time was moving backwards while I slept. The weird thing, though, was that my writing was becoming easier and easier. I wrote eleven and a half pages the day after I kicked Alice out and twenty pages the day after that. It was as if I needed some kind of large emotional release in order to let my creative juices flow. _Or maybe you just needed to let go of some of your anxiety about getting close to people._

Either way, I felt like shit the entire week. Edward was amazing. He came over everyday at nine AM and stayed until about midnight. I asked him to spend the night a couple of times, but he always insisted on going home. I wasn't sure why he insisted, but I think some of it was so that I wouldn't distract myself from my conflict with Alice with his conversations and amazing bedroom skills. When he came back in the morning, he always brought breakfast and news about Alice. I imagined that he was giving Alice the same kind of rundown when he got home at night, and I kind of felt guilty that I'd unintentionally put him in that position. I just wished he would spend the night.

The next thing I knew, it was Tuesday morning. Almost the entire week had passed, and I was getting nervous. Over the week, I'd realized that as much as Alice had twisted me to her every will, I still had a moment before every single plan of hers where I could have refused and she would have let it go. Instead, I followed her lead and let her make the decisions. It wasn't until after our problems with James and Marcus that I began to break out of my shell and take more responsibility for myself. Once I became published and had given her and Emmett jobs and a house to live in, I realized that Alice probably felt like she'd lost her place. For so long she'd been the assertive one who made the rules, and now that I was her technical employer she didn't have that kind of power over me in any of the arising situations besides the social ones.

This realization made her blatant recommendation of Edward made sense. She needed to feel in some kind of control, and in this way she could make sure her best friend met this really amazing guy. She bent him to her will by suggesting making his performance in the concert a surprise, but he had no idea that she did things like that. I knew that she needed to feel some of the heat from her part in all of this, but at the same time she needed some love and support as she figured out who she was and what her life path should be.

My cell phone started blaring the ring tone I'd programmed for Edward, and I groped along my nightstand to find it.

"Hello?" I spoke huskily into the receiver, clearing my throat so that I didn't sound like a phone sex operator.

"Hey, Bella. Did I wake you?" he asked.

"No, I was just lying in bed, thinking. What do you need?"

"Well, Jasper and I have been talking for the past hour about you and Alice and how you both have been the past week. We think it's time for you two to finally talk about things if you feel ready for it."

"I definitely do. I don't know how you, Jasper, and Emmett knew this, but a week to think things over was exactly what I needed."

Edward chuckled and responded, "I have no idea, either. Instinct, I guess. Anyway, Alice says that she's ready, too. We'll see you in…?"

"I'll be there in an hour," I said, already tripping over the corner of my comforter lying on my floor as I headed to the bathroom to begin to get ready.

"Alright, we'll see you then." Edward hung up, and I tossed my phone onto my bed.

I was ready to leave in fifteen minutes, and I waited another five for Emmett to get ready. I woke him up so that he could be a support system for either myself or Alice.

As we drove down the highway getting inches and feet closer to my closest friend, I began to feel butterflies. _I hope she forgives me, and that we can settle this shit. I don't want to lose her._

When we got to the apartment building, I hopped out of the car before Emmett had even turned off the ignition. He and I quickly made our way up the stairs to the apartment, and I practically ran down the hallway to get to Edward's door. I knocked, and Edward answered the door.

"Are you okay? Are you ready?" he asked, eyes full of concern and anticipation. I nodded and stepped inside.

* * *

**A/N:** Title comes from the poem "Be Kind" by Charles Bukowski.

No references because I couldn't add any in. But hey, if you feel like PMing me about the _True Blood_ finale, go for it. In fact, I encourage it.

Please remember to check out my entries for **The Twilight Twenty-Five Challenge**. Link is on my profile. While you're at it, check out some of the other entries as well. The group involved is writing some amazing stuff with the prompts given.

Reviews make Alice and Bella reunite faster.


	16. Chapter 16: Trouble

Thanks to R. for allowing me to take some charge on his birthday weekend. I'm glad you enjoy your present, and I love you passionately, tenderly, and unconditionally. Thanks to faeriemelie for dancing with me to "Closer" and indulging in some pseudo dance lesbianism. R. certainly appreciated that. Thanks to queenofgrey for being a sweetheart and not getting mad when the mama bear instinct takes over and I start reminding her to take care of herself. I do it because I care.

Thanks to Starrynytex for being beta extraordinaire and an awesome friend. I hope the quilt turns out awesome! Also, much gratitude to lisa89. She stepped up to the plate when faeriemelie told me she had to drop her beta duties so she could succeed in school. Lisa89, you are my savior! Welcome to the DLVD team!

**Note:** I promise, no more failing in the review reply department. I had to deal with creating gradebooks, preparing for a diagnostic conference with my boss, setting up two classrooms for open houses, and a boyfriend visit. I hope you forgive me. If I fail again at the review replying, you're welcome to beat me with sticks.

Disclaimer: S. Meyer makes the dinero for these characters. I make them slap their best friends.

* * *

**B POV**

When I walked in the door, I saw Alice sitting at the kitchen table, looking like complete and utter shit. She was normally so put together, with her hair styled and make-up perfected before I was even awake in the morning. Now her hair was a tangled disarray that stuck out in clumps. Her face was devoid of any trace of make-up, and she wasn't even wearing her typical stylish, edgy wardrobe. Instead, she was sporting a pair of basic black yoga pants and a plain white T-shirt. I certainly hadn't been expecting this.

Jasper also looked pretty bad. There were bags under his eyes that hinted that he hadn't been getting much sleep, and his clothing was wrinkled and uneven. I wondered how many days he'd been working from home this week, and if he was in a stable enough position to do that. I definitely didn't want him to lose his job because Alice and I were fighting.

Edward grasped my hand, and I turned my head to look at him. He nodded at me, and I knew that he was there to support me and any decision I made. I walked over to the table and sat down across from Alice. Edward sat down next to me, hand still clasped in mine, and we waited for someone to break the silence.

It felt like twenty minutes had passed before Alice began to speak. "Ever since we were little kids, I was the one who was in charge of everything. I liked having that job. I liked having the control it gave me, since I had such little control over my own life, over the complications my mother's actions had caused. I never thought about consequences then because I didn't care. I spent so much time resenting my family and wishing I had yours, Bella. The fact that I had some control over you made me feel like I was your equal.

"When we got to UCLA, we both got involved with complete, utter douche bags. It was the first time I'd relinquished my control on anything, and I only did it because I was so tired of keeping my guard up. Unfortunately, I decided to let that guard down for the absolute wrong man. When you and Emmett stepped in, I had completely lost my sense of self. You gave me some of it back when you made me your personal assistant. I know that you gave me the job more because you trusted me than anything else, but I was so happy to finally be given control of something again. That's why I've ruled your schedule with an iron fist.

"When your extreme success hit, I grew insanely jealous of you. I didn't think you really deserved it, mostly because you were the one who had the stable home life and the parents who gave a shit about you. I wanted that kind of glory and validation so desperately. I finally found it in Jasper, but that's a completely different story.

"When Edward came to L.A. to live with Jazz, I knew immediately that the two of you would hit it off. You have so much in common, and you both throw every part of yourselves into your art. I figured you'd be a match made in heaven, and I was right. Yet I still wanted to control everything, even though you're an adult who can make your own decisions. Edward didn't know that you hated surprises and that you were suspicious of men in general because of James. I did. I'm completely in the wrong here, and I have no good reason for what I did. I just hope you can forgive me. I've put a lot of thought into this, and I know that I should be groveling, but I've decided to let you make your decision completely without my influence for the first time in our lives.

"I'm going to go into Jasper's room. Let me know what your decision is when you've made it." Alice stood up and was in Jasper's room, shutting the door, before I could even fully comprehend what had happened. Minutes passed before I looked over at Edward.

"What do you think I should do?" I asked him, hoping he'd have some kind of infinite wisdom on how to deal with distressed best friends and confused feelings.

"It's your decision to make, Bella. I don't want you to resent me if I make the wrong one," he replied, looking as calm and collected as Alice had. _What is the deal with everyone? Were thye passing out free Prozac outside, and I missed it?_

"Jasper? What do you think?" I asked as I turned to look at him.

He put his hands up in the air and said, "Not answering, Bella. This is between you and Alice. I'm staying very firmly out of it." He folded his arms across and leaned back against his chair. _Smug bastard._

I turned to my brother, who'd stayed about three paces behind me the entire time. I had almost forgotten he was there. "Em?" I whispered.

"As much as I want to make everything better, this really is your decision. I have faith that you'll make the right one," he replied, moving to sit in Alice's vacated seat at the table.

I looked back and forth between them, hoping they'd throw me a bone. I had no idea what to do, and I had so many thoughts and feelings coursing through me that it was hard to keep track of them all. Finally, I stood up and walked to Edward's room, shutting and locking the door behind me.

_What the fuck are you going to do, Swan?_ I asked myself. Sure, Alice had apologized with a sound reasoning for her actions, but I couldn't help feeling like maybe it was all an act so that she could get back into my life again. She'd just revealed to me that she'd been manipulating me since we'd met so that she could feel in control of something. I didn't really like this knowledge, but I also understood what she meant. After the James situation, I'd felt so lost and alone, and I'd wanted to find something for myself out there so that I could prove that he hadn't broken me. That was how I'd ended up published, and then I'd felt better and back to my old self. Alice had only her job working for me after her problems with Marcus, and it must have been where she'd begun to gain her confidence again.

In all the years we'd been friends, I'd never once thought of Alice as controlling. To hear her say that she considered her actions to be of that nature was shocking to me. I knew that she'd been manipulative before to get her way, but I'd always attributed that more to stubbornness than anything else. I was so confused by everything.

The fact that Edward and Jasper had decided to make this completely my decision did not sit well with me, even though I knew they were right. I just wished they'd make it a little easier on me, as selfish as I knew that sounded. I knew that Alice and I definitely had not been having the easiest of weeks and that Edward and Jasper were suffering for it almost as much as we were. Emmett was probably suffering worse than anyone, because he had to deal with the anguish from both Alice and me. I felt like they should have a say in things as well, since they had to endure the pain of it all.

I sat in Edward's room alone for what felt like hours, just thinking things through. I weighed the options of leaving her here and never speaking to her again versus being friends again but not letting her move back in versus letting her move back in immediately. I tried to imagine my life without Alice and began to sob at the mere thought. I even tried to flip a coin to make the decision for me. Eventually I decided to just go with what my gut said.

Then I spent another hour trying to get up the nerve to leave Edward's room. I heard a knock on the door, and I unlocked it, allowing the person behind it to come inside.

********

**E POV**

_Bella's been in there for an awfully long time_, I thought to myself as I sat staring at the blank TV screen. I tried twenty times to follow her into my room, but Jasper put his hand on my shoulder every single time and shook his head. We both knew that we shouldn't influence any decisions in this, since the girls had a long, long history that neither of us knew much about at the moment. This was their deal, and they both knew how best to handle things.

I was very impressed with how Alice had composed herself in her explanation to Bella. I'd watched Alice's exuberance virtually disappear the second she'd left Bella's house, and I wondered how much of it all was an act, a side effect of the meds Jasper had told me she still took, or a combination of other, deeper-seeded things. Throughout the whole week, Alice seemed like a zombie to me, walking through the apartment with a glazed look on her face. She'd been wearing the same pajamas for three days when she'd finally said she wanted to talk to Bella. I was willing to bet that she hadn't even showered.

Jasper was looking really terrible, too. It was like he was trying to take on all of the pain and anguish Alice was feeling so that she could be left numb. I could see the emotions constricting the muscles of his face, making his brow a constant furrow and his mouth a perpetual downturn. Every time I asked him about it, he said that it didn't matter how he felt about the whole ordeal, and that he was just trying to be supportive of Alice. His blind faith and love for her was both inspiring and scary as hell to watch in full-blown Technicolor. They kept to Jasper's room as much as possible, only leaving to eat or watch TV. Alice didn't speak a word to me the entire week, but I didn't mind, since I figured she thought I'd be reporting back to Bella. Which I was, but that was beside the point.

All I could think of was that Bella needed me, needed my guidance, and that I had no idea how to help her. She was alone in that room, probably sobbing and feeling completely isolated and alone, and I was out here doing jack shit. I looked to Jasper, pleading with my eyes, and he dropped his head into his hands, fingers raking roughly through his hair.

"These fucking women," he said. I nodded in agreement. He looked up at me. "I have no idea what to do, E. Alice has been a mess this entire week. I can't stand seeing her in pain. They both know that they can't be happy without each other. It's a pointless fight. Why can't they just admit that?"

I thought about what he said for a minute before responding. "Bella is starting to understand that Alice's motivations throughout their entire lives weren't pure, and she's having a hard time reconciling that with her image of her friend. On top of that, there's the pain she feels about being separated from Alice and the betrayal she feels about Alice's part in the concert surprise fiasco. Lastly, she really wants to trust her heart and her friend. I really want to go in there and help her, Jazz, but I don't know how."

"You can't help, not really. If you really want, you can go in there and just listen. She probably needs that most of all. I'm going to go check on Alice." He got up and swiftly went to his room, leaving me there to debate my course of action.

I looked over at Emmett, who'd fallen asleep with his head nestled on his arms at the table. I had a gut instinct that waking him would not be in my best interests, so instead, I sat in silence, pondering my options.

After what seemed like ages, I finally said _Fuck it_ to myself, and went to my door. I knocked gently, closing my eyes and silently praying that she'd open the door. _Open, open, open, Bella, please._ I heard a click and felt a rush of air around me. My eyes flew open and took in the sight of the beautifully heartbreaking young woman in front of me. Her face held an expression of confusion, and I was relieved to see that she hadn't been crying too much when she decided to open the door.

"Edward?" she asked timidly. I pushed past her, grabbing her hand and pulling her to me as I shut the door behind her. I embraced her tightly, hoping that something I could do would help her.

"Bella," I sighed, her warmth invading my every molecule. I could feel my cock hardening, knowing that the reaction was inappropriate but not caring. I desperately wanted to be close to her for some unknown reason, and this was good enough for now.

Her arms wrapped around my waist, allowing me to pull her even closer. Her head nestled into my left shoulder, and she breathed a small, contented sigh. _Seems like she needed you, bud. Good job._

"Edward, I'm not sure what to do. I want to forgive her, but I'm afraid that she'll just go back to manipulating me. At the same time, I know that I can't function without her. She's my sister, regardless of genetics," she whispered against my shirt, and I could feel her breath on my skin through the fabric.

"What's the first thing your heart tells you, Bella? That's the most important thing," I replied softly.

"Forgive her. Let her back into our house. My life doesn't work without her in it. I hope she wants to come back." Her body started to shake, and I realized that she'd started sobbing. My hands went up into her hair, gently stroking it in an attempt to console her.

"Bella, why wouldn't she want to come back? She's been just as miserable as you have this past week. You both know you need each other. Any man in your life will be second to Alice."

She lifted her head to look me in the eye. Her eyes were red and puffy now, yet she still looked beautiful. She gave me a weak smile. "I'm sorry about that. It's not fair to you to know you come in second."

I smiled back. "I don't mind. I'm just glad to be a part of your life, be it first, second, or tenth place."

She squeezed me tighter and placed small kisses on my shoulder and neck. "I need to go talk to Alice," she breathed against my skin. "But afterward, I want to lay you down on this bed and fuck you senseless."

An involuntary shiver ripped through me. "What brought this on?" I asked, my voice a little shaky-sounding in my head.

"You've been so sweet and caring this week, and I really appreciate it. I want to show you how much I appreciate it." As she spoke, one of her arms slid down my side, across my hip and down to cup my cock through the jeans I was wearing. _Holy shit, I'm in trouble. I can't wait._

"You don't have to do anything, you know."

She stood up on tiptoe so that she could give me a peck on the lips. "I want to. I've been such a mess this week that you've been neglected. It's time I give you what you've been missing out on." She wiggled out of my embrace and took my hand into hers, grasping tightly.

"You ready?" I asked. She swallowed and nodded. "Alright, then. Remember that I'm right here with you." She opened the door and led me into the living room. Alice and Jasper were already seated on the couches.

********

**B POV**

Alice turned around when she heard Edward's and my footsteps enter the living room. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was splotchy. Edward hadn't been lying when he'd said that Alice had been having a hell of a time, too. She stood up, a hopeful expression on her face.

The words stuck in my throat. I had so many things I wanted to say to her, but nothing was coming out. Finally, I just nodded. Alice stepped forward, and I dropped Edward's hand, reaching my arms out to her in hopes that she understood my forgiveness. She rushed into my arms, feeling so tiny and fragile as her body curled into mine. We both began to sob, and I felt a rush of relief and pure joy as I realized that I had my best friend back. My knees began to shake, and just as they were about to give out, I felt Edward's body against my back. Jasper also stepped up to us, supporting Alice with his arms around her waist.

We stood there in that huddle for a while, two reconciled best friends and the men who cared for them. All concept of time passed by me as we all held onto each other. Tears continued to stream down my cheeks, the emotions of the past week flowing out of me and leaving me empty of the constant sadness of those agonizing days. In its wake, there was happiness and excitement.

"Al?" I whispered. "I want you back in the house. Do what you need to in order to get back there by tonight."

"Really? Are you sure?" she whispered back.

"Of course. You're my sister."

She squeezed my waist tightly, and I smiled widely. After a few minutes more, the four of us disentangled our limbs from each other. Alice swiped the last of her tears from her eyes and cheeks, giving me a gentle smile.

"I need to get some stuff taken care of. I'll be back at the house tonight. Jasper, let's get ready to go," Alice said, her voice sounding much more like it normally did. _Thank God; I could barely handle her calm, collected veneer._

"Alright. I'll see you at home later. We have an episode of _True Blood_ to catch up on," I replied, and Alice giggled in response. She turned and headed to Jasper's room, her faithful lover following behind.

"Well, hallelujah, you girls are back together," remarked Emmett, rubbing his hands over his eyes. _Wait, was he sleeping at the table?_ He got up and followed Alice and Jasper into Jasper's room, shutting the door behind him.

Edward put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him. He had a huge grin plastered across his face, and his eyes were twinkling with an emotion I couldn't read.

"What's the smile for?" I asked, curious as to what he was thinking.

"I'm happy for you, my sweet. You seem like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders," he replied, his hands sliding down my arms in painstaking motions.

"It really feels like that, honestly. Every single part of me feels relieved. Well, except for one special part." I winked at him, and he gulped. _Oh, that shy response. So adorably endearing._

"If you so wish, Isabella," he replied, bending forward and lifting me, throwing me over one shoulder. I kicked my feet and squealed, feeling light and carefree. Then again, Edward always made me feel that way.

He burst through his bedroom door and tossed me onto his bed before closing and locking the door behind him. The sound of the lock clicking resounded through the room, and my heart started beating in sputters and stops. For some unknown reason, I was all of a sudden very nervous.

"So, what were you saying earlier about showing your appreciation?" he asked, taking one step forward to the bed. His eyes were dark, radiating pure lust at me.

"Why don't you let me show you?" I purred, finding my sexual confidence and flashing him a knowing smile. I got onto my hands and knees and crawled to the edge of the bed. "Come on over, E. You won't regret it."

"I never do, B." He took another slow step toward me, putting him about three feet from the bed. I moved off the bed to the floor, situating myself on my knees two feet in front of him.

"I suggest you come closer. Just a thought." He followed my suggestion, and when his body was inches from my face, I smiled up at him. "Thank you." I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and in one fell swoop, lowered his pants and underwear to the ground. His cock was staring back at me, swollen and ready for any attention I was willing to give it.

I put my hands on his hips, drawing him even closer to me. I planted small kisses up the side of the shaft, making sure not to touch the head quite yet. He groaned loudly as I circled him over and over, up and down with those little pecks. I moved my tiny presses of lips to skin down to his balls before lapping at the soft skin, covering them with my tongue.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Bella," he exclaimed as I wrapped my mouth around one testicle, sucking gently for a second before moving to the other one. I flicked my eyes up to his face and relished in the sight of him losing control above me.

I moved my mouth away, giving his balls a tiny lick. I leaned back a little so that he could see my face. "You ready?" I asked, wondering if he wanted me to continue or if he wanted me to jump on the bed and let him ravage me.

"I'm game for whatever the fuck you want, Bella," he replied, his voice sounding out of breath and gravelly. I gave him a smirk, winked, and slid my mouth over his cock.

I started off slowly, letting my tongue run up and down the shaft and swirl around the head with every upward movement. He gasped and grunted when my teeth grazed the underside, and his hands wound into my hair.

"My God, Bella, this is amazing," he growled. I began to move faster, my tongue flicking the head and teeth lightly scraping. His hips began to move against me, and I put one hand to his hip to help control his movements so that he didn't accidentally choke me. The other hand went up to massage his balls, and I found that he reacted strongly when I tugged gently on them.

His body started to tense up, so I slowed my movements, making them deep instead. His hands fisted into my hair, and my name began to fall from his lips like an incantation.

"Fuck, Bella, I'm about to come," he said in warning. _He probably thinks I won't want to swallow._

I sped up my movements, but kept them every bit as deep. A few seconds later, I felt his hot juices shoot down the back of my throat, and I swallowed it down quickly in an attempt not to taste it. I actually really enjoyed swallowing, but I hated the taste more than almost anything else.

Edward fell to his knees in front of me, his hands still wrapped in my hair. Before I could try to warn him, he pulled my face to his and kissed me hard. I melted into him and felt completely content for the first time in days.

********

**E POV**

_I have no idea where the hell she learned that, and frankly, I don't give a shit. _All I knew was that Bella had just given me a blow job for the first time in our relationship, and I was wondering why the hell I hadn't gotten one earlier. It was fucking mind-boggling. My mental processes all but shut down, and my knees were following them. I collapsed onto the ground next to Bella, and the expression on her face was astonishing. Her hair was a tangled mess because of the way my hands had weaved through it, and she'd never looked more breathtaking to me. I pulled her to me for a kiss, not caring that I'd probably taste my jizz on her.

Her mouth tasted a little salty, and it was actually a little bit erotic, knowing I was tasting myself on her. My lips craved her softness, and she gave in to me, her lips reciprocating the same pressure I was giving.

When I pulled away from her, I leaned close and whispered in her ear, "I love tasting myself on you, knowing that you're the only one able to make me feel as good as I do now." Her body convulsed, almost as if she were experiencing an orgasm. _Hell, she might be, for all I know_.

I let my hands roam to the hem of her shirt, attempting to lift the cloth from her. She quickly stopped me. "Nope, not right now. This was me showing my thanks for being so amazing about things this week. You can make me feel good later." She stood up and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before heading to my bathroom. While she was in there, I slid my pants and underwear back up and moved to my bed, lying down on it and staring at the ceiling while I thought about Bella.

This girl had changed so much in the small amount of time I'd known her. She was interesting and intelligent, with such great taste in films and books and a sense of humor that matched my own. She was fiercely loyal to the ones she loved, and she was compassionate and kind. She was almost the complete opposite from Tanya, the only similarity being that they'd both reached success in their fields at young ages.

I wanted to spend my every waking moment with her. This past week had made me realize this because I'd done precisely what I'd desired. I'd seen her most vulnerable side, and it had made me want to protect her and care for her. I'd never felt anything for another person as strongly as my feelings for Bella.

That was when it hit me. _I'm in love with her._ I couldn't really believe it once the thought crossed my mind, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Hell, she'd brought the music back, as much I hated to believe that my creativity was based on another person again.

I debated in my head what to do next. I had no idea if Bella felt the same way. Sure, I knew that she liked me, but I wasn't positive that her feelings for me had grown to love yet. I also didn't want to be the one to say it first again. My experience with Tanya had taught me that it was better to make sure that the feelings were mutual before you went and confessed them.

Still, I was almost completely certain that the second Bella stepped out of that bathroom, the words would fly out of my mouth faster than an SR-71 Blackbird. I knew that it would be hard, but I'd just have to pretend like nothing had changed in the minutes she'd been away. _Except that everything's fucking changed. You're completely fucked as usual, Cullen._

I heard the doorknob turn, and I did my best to put a calm look on my face.

"So, I think I should probably head home for now to get some writing done before Alice gets back. Is that okay with you?" she asked. _Holy fuck, why does she have to look so gorgeous every minute of the day?_

"Yeah, that's fine," I replied, my voice sounding higher pitched than normal. "I need to get some composing done, anyway. Do you want me to come over later?"

"Sure! Be at my place at around eight, if that's alright with you. And pack some stuff, because I'd like for you to spend the night." She smiled at me, and I almost blurted the words out. _Get a grip, dude, you can do this. Wait until you know._

"Sounds great to me. Come here." She complied, and I pulled her down on top of me. "Thank you for your show of appreciation. It was much… appreciated." I kissed her gently, trying to read if there was any love showing through in the way she kissed me back. I couldn't find anything that could be recognized as love in the kiss, but I did notice that her mouth tasted minty like my mouthwash. I sucked a little on her lower lip before releasing her.

She scrambled back to her feet, losing her balance for a second and stumbling. I laughed, glad that I'd had such a strong effect on her. It added points to the "evidence she loves me back" column.

"I'll see you later," she said as she opened my bedroom door. She blew me a kiss, and I blew one back.

Hopefully tonight I'd be a little bit smoother in hiding my massive epiphany. I really hoped that this time I'd actually found a woman who could love me back. _We'll see what happens. It's been looking like your luck's been changing for a while. She might be a part of it.

* * *

_

**A/N:** Title comes from the song "Trouble" by Coldplay.

Okay, so I promise, the _True Blood_ references will die down and maybe disappear after the next update. However, the next update if chock full of them.

An SR-71 Blackbird is a really, really fast jet. I couldn't think of a good metaphor and I googled "fast jets", and that was the result.

Shout-out to Edwardville and the the wonderful members of that community. You ladies make me smile so so so much.

Reviews are almost as good as realizing you're in love with someone. Oh, who am I kidding, nothing is as good as that.


	17. Chapter 17: Bad Things

Thanks to R. for being willing to calm me down with late night phone calls. Thanks to queenofgrey for not getting annoyed at my mama bear instincts. Thanks to lisa89 for forgiving my lack of reviewage and for helping me become more grammatically sound. Thanks to Starrynytex for being an awesome beta and a sweet person.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer makes the moolah for these characters. I make them have teary make-ups with their best friends.

* * *

**B POV**

I arrived very quickly at my house, noting that Alice's car was already in the driveway. I bounded to the door and entered it, eager to get in some quality time with my newly forgiven friend. Instead, I was met by a rock-hard chest barely covered by a white tank top.

The arms attached the chest in front of me scooped me up and spun me around. The arms were constricting my ability to breathe, and I let out a small choking sound.

"Oops! Sorry about that, little sis. Alice is back, everything is normal, and I'm excited. I can't help it," Emmett said with a chuckle as he set me back on my feet.

"What's Alice doing?" I asked him, wondering if she would be up to watching the Tivo'd episode of _True Blood_ with me. I was very excited to see if I'd get more Alexander Skarsgard time. _Wait a second, girlfriend; you have an amazingly sexy man coming over later. Keep the Swede lust in check._

"She's unpacking her stuff. She said that Jasper was going to come over later to take her out on a date, since they hadn't really spent quality time together. She said something about being a zombie and feeling guilty." Emmett shrugged and then turned on his heel and headed to the living room. "I'm assuming you ladies will be watching your thinly veiled porn when Alice is done. I might stick around, might not. You know if there's going to be a reappearance of Anna Paquin's boobs?"

"Not sure, but I'm sure Alice won't mind if you decide to stick around. I know I don't, since I love my big brother." I walked over to him and gave him a quick squeeze around his waist. His eyes widened, showing his surprise at my overt display of affection. Like Charlie, Emmett didn't wear his emotions on his sleeve very often, and he was also uncomfortable with physical affection that wasn't sexual in nature.

"Um, yeah, I've gotta go do something," he mumbled, swiftly removing himself from the situation. _Great, Bella, go and make your brother awkward. Then he'll do the same to you, and it'll probably involve poor Edward._

I smiled at the thought of my boyfriend. He had truly been amazing the entire week when I'd been moody and sullen about the Alice thing. He'd cooked for me, helped me with me errands and other business ventures, and had listened to me rant and ramble about anything and everything. _Hell, even Emmett couldn't handle it like Edward could. He's like a fucking saint._

I knew my feelings for Edward were growing, and it scared me. I was afraid that I was moving too fast emotionally, especially since I did that before with James and was met with a less than ideal outcome. I didn't want to be the first one to express love, even though I wasn't sure that was what I was feeling yet. I felt like there was still a lot I didn't know about Edward, and I wanted to find out what those things were before I made proclamations.

I shook the introspection from my head and went to Alice's room. I found that the door was already open, so I leaned against the doorway and observed as she flitted about manically, putting clothing into piles on her bed and throwing assorted toiletries onto her bathroom counter and vanity. She didn't notice me for about four minutes.

"Oh, hey!" she squealed, rushing to me and throwing her arms around my neck. The impact of her lunge made me stumble, and we fell to the ground, giggling and snuggling close to each other.

"Alice, what's with the tornado in your room?" I asked her, trying to find a comfortable position on the floor so that she and I could lie next to each other and still kind of be in her room.

"I was trying to get things finished before you came home. I knew once you got here that you would want your Vampire Eric time as soon as humanly - or inhumanly, as the case may be - possible."

"Oh. Well, I'll leave you to it, then. But before I leave, what time is Jasper coming to get you for your date?"

"He said he'd be here around eight. Why do you ask?" She got to her feet with a hop.

"Edward's coming by at the same time and spending the night. I wanted to see how much time we had left for our show. Feel like doing a marathon?" I followed Alice's lead and got to my feet, feeling thankful that I hadn't lost my balance again. Once in a three-minute span was enough for me.

"Hell yeah, I'm down for a marathon. Did you get your DVDs back?" She resumed her whirling dervish manner of organization, and I watched in awe at how one person could move so many articles of clothing so quickly and know what on earth was going on.

"Nope, but I left the episodes on Tivo, just in case." I grinned at her and turned around, waving my hand behind my back as I headed to my room. I needed to get a little bit of house-keeping done before Edward came over. I'd really let my cleanliness suffer in the past week.

About twenty minutes later, Alice pulled me away from my cleaning so that we could watch our show. Emmett had gotten a call from a friend of his, asking if he wanted to go to a baseball game, so he opted out of _True Blood _in favor of the great American pastime. We watched about seven episodes of the first season and the first two episodes of the second season. I was in awe of how amazing Alexander Skarsgard looked, and my mind began to wander. I thought of how sexy Edward would be as a brooding, dangerous vampire, and I felt my blood begin to boil. _Calm down, Bella. Let the extreme horniness overtake you when you have a chance to do something about it._

Alice and I jabbered about how much we loved the show and our theories about what would happen next. I was absolutely positive MaryAnn had something to do with the attack on Miss Jeannette, but Alice completely disagreed with me. The moment got a little tense, but we worked it out over mutual appreciation for Vampire Eric and Vampire Bill.

"Dude, Stephen Moyer's ass looks just like Edward's," I said with a giggle to Alice, and she threw a pillow at me.

"Ew, ew, ew! I didn't need to know that about him! Now whenever Bill shows his butt, all I'll be able to picture is Edward, which is not an image I want lurking around in my mind. Sorry if this offends you, but he's so not attractive in my opinion. He's like a brotherly type thing to me. God, thanks a fucking lot, Bells," she replied, waving her arms wildly as she spoke.

"I can't wait for Eric's butt. You know we're going to see it, right? I have a feeling. I mean, it's not written in the book series until the fourth book, but I figure that the character has a large enough following that they'll give us some gratuitous Alexander Skarsgard ass. Not that I'm complaining." I winked at Alice, and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Whatever you say. I still think Sam is the best one out of all of them. He seems the most real, and he's such a cutie pie!" She put her head to her forehead in an exaggerated swoon.

"Yeah, and he never takes a shit on your lawn. I'm not a fan of the shifter types. They're kind of gross to me. But vampires… I'd let one take me without a second thought. Especially Eric."

"Who's Eric?" asked a voice at my front door. I jumped, not expecting Edward to have just let himself in until I remembered he'd been doing it this whole week.

"Eric is a character on our favorite show, _True Blood_. Bella wants to bone him into oblivion," replied Alice without missing a beat.

"Oh, yes, I remember. He's the Swedish one who looks oh, so serious. Do you like the serious ones, Isabella?" he asked, his eyes focusing on me as he moved slowly from the entrance area to the living room. My heart felt like it had stopped, and then it took off galloping twice as fast as it had been.

"Only if they have extreme sex appeal to back it up, Cullen," I purred, pulling the veil of seductive prowess over me. _Time to make him my bitch. No more letting him make my blood pressure rise._

"Do _you_ think I measure up, my sweet?" He stalked over to me, his movements languid, fluid, like a dancer's. He almost slithered, reminding me of Scott Weiland or Jim Morrison but with more of a polished, intellectual vibe. In seconds, he was reaching over the back of the couch and lightly caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Um, right. I'm going to go… color-coordinate my shoes or something. Yeah, that's it," mumbled Alice as she sprinted to her room, closed the door, and turned on The Polyphonic Spree at a high volume. I hopped to my feet almost immediately.

"Let's go to my room. Emmett's bound to come home at any moment," I said in low tones, hoping and praying I sounded like the temptress I wanted to be. I practically hurdled over the couch, grabbed his hand, and pulled him into my room, slamming and locking the door behind me. Once in the room, Edward turned to my iPod dock and searched for some music.

"Seriously, Edward? Nine Inch Nails?" I asked, my voice squeaking as it rose in pitch. _Way to sound like a temptress there, Bella._

"Well, I figured since it is my iPod in your dock, I should choose. And if I'm going to fuck you the way I want to, I need Trent Reznor providing the inspiration," he said, his voice a barely audible murmur. Just listening to him speak like that was drenching my panties. _When did Cullen get such a dirty mouth?_

"I'm not going to argue you with you about the music, Cullen. Now, back to what we were talking about in the living room." _Good idea, change the subject… to one also completely about sex._

"Oh, yes. I believe you were going to tell me if I have the sex appeal necessary to measure up to your beloved Vampire Eric." He sat on my bed and slid to the middle, leaning back on my pillows and putting his hands behind his head.

"Hmmm, let me think about it." I paused, faking a moment of thought. In reality, I knew exactly what my answer was going to be. "I think that you could, with a little bit of practice. I wonder how well you'd handle the basic vampire actions."

"And what are those?"

"Stalking, seducing, and being able to make a painful bite pleasurable. Oh, and being absolutely mind-blowing in bed, of course." I gave him a smirk, knowing that he would be completely willing to play this little game. I could read it in how his eyes darkened.

"Alright, let me give this a try." He leaped to his feet and then began to move toward me in that slithery, slippery swagger from earlier. _Fuck me. Preferably rough, hard, and against a wall._

"Is this a satisfactory stalk to you?" he asked, his mouth twisting into that beautiful crooked grin.

I gulped. "I… I'm not quite sure. I think you need to follow me somewhere first, to prove you know how to keep an eye on your intended prey." I opened the door quickly and walked out of the room, gasping a little. It felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked out. _Shit, you're hyperventilating because he's playing "vampire" for you. What the fuck?_

I wasn't quite sure where to go, and I refused to look behind me to see if he was following my request. I knew if I turned and looked at him, I'd end up pouncing. A light bulb went on in my head, and I walked a little briskly to the piano room. The door was already open, so I whisked inside and headed for the far corner. Edward followed behind shortly afterward, still moving in the same languorous way.

"What took you so long? Aren't vampires supposed to have super strength and speed and stuff like that?" I asked, chuckling a little bit.

"I had to grab the iPod. Couldn't leave behind the mood music," he replied, his eyes scanning for a place to set the music player. He saw the docking station on top of the bar and all but sprinted for it. His quick movements, in such contrast to his previous slow ones, made me gasp.

"I thought vampires were supposed to have super speed, Isabella. Isn't this what you wanted?" he said with a laughing tone, rapidly moving over to me. In a blink of an eye, he was inches in front of me, and I could feel his warmth radiating all around me.

"Y-y-yes. Now, I need to see a display of your super seduction skills," I mumbled, his closeness exhilarating and frightening at the same time. _He must have been practicing for this moment. Dammit, I let the vampire obsession out too early._

"Oh, right. Well, that should be easy." He lifted his hand and placed his thumb underneath my chin, tilting it upward. "Are you ready, my darling?"

I nodded, and he gently lowered his lips to mine. His lips were soft, gentle, and the sweetness of the kiss completely threw me for a loop. I'd been expecting to be ravaged, and instead he was using a tender approach. _Nope, not having that. Prepare for pouncing, buddy._

I wrapped my arms around his neck, grasping his hair and pulling him closer to me. His arms encircled my waist, enveloping me in his warmth. My skin felt like it was on fire already, and we'd barely even kissed. My lips massacred his, my tongue poking and prodding until he opened his mouth to me. He licked the center of my lips from bottom to top before forcing his tongue against mine, beginning an almost violent dance for domination. His hands began to slide down my back and across my ribcage, stopping just below my breasts. I made a kind of strangled moaning noise into his mouth, and he brought his hands up, cupping my breasts and immediately finding my nipples underneath the fabric of my shirt.

He broke our kiss and brought his lips to my ear. "Now that I've sufficiently sucked you into my web of seduction, let's see about that biting thing," he whispered. His lips left small pecks down my neck in a line before he found his desired spot. "Are you ready?"

"Jesus Christ, yes," I groaned in response. _As if he can't tell by the puddle of horny goo in his arms._

He laid an open-mouth kiss on my neck, left another small peck, and then struck. At the exact same moment, one of his hands slipped down the front of my jeans, into my underwear, and cupped me. I couldn't concentrate on which sensation to think about for a second before the bite on my neck took precedence. Still, the bite actually felt _good_, and I was making all sorts of incoherent noises.

He moved his other hand from my breast to the button of my pants. I untangled my hands from his hair to help him remove all the clothing I'd been wearing below the waist. Sufficiently nude on my bottom half, I slipped my T-shirt off, tossing it with the rest of my clothes on the floor. While I'd been removing my top, Edward had lifted his hand from between my thighs and removed his shirt. He started to unbutton his pants when he looked up at me and smiled.

"Lose the bra, too, Isabella," he whispered as he smirked at me. I quickly unsnapped it and slid it away from my body. Edward slipped his pants and underwear off and stood before me, primed and ready for me.

After a few seconds, he was on me, his hands and lips everywhere. He pushed me against a mirror, the cold glass shocking me. I rolled him over onto the mirror, my hands grasping his cock and slowly running my hands up and down his shaft.

"Bella, go over to the piano," he said through gritted teeth. I did, wondering why he wanted me at the piano before it hit me. _Oh, right. It's a large, steady instrument, and he's going to fuck me on it. Hell, yeah._

I reached the side of the instrument, pressing my butt and lower back against it. Edward stared at me, his eyes moving up and down the sight before him. "You look absolutely ravishing like that, naked and against the piano. My two favorite things in one picture," he sighed, his eyes sparkling, reminding me of warm, sunny summer days lounging on the grass next to the pool.

He walked to me, abandoning the slithering stalk for something faster. When he was in front of me, he grasped my shoulders, sharply turning me around. He pushed my shoulders against the top of the piano with one hand while the other slid down my back and over my ass. He put both of his hands on my hips, pulling them a little bit away from the side of the piano. Then I felt him against me, impossibly hard and hot, and I absolutely needed him.

The song changed, and "Closer" began to play. Edward let out a low chuckle. "Oh, the irony." Then he positioned himself at my entrance, pushing in fast, deep, and a little rough. I relished in the feel of him inside me after a week of self-induced abstinence. _Never again, you stupid, silly girl. Never again will you deprive yourself of this glorious cock._

He pounded into me, hard and deep, while Trent sang, "I want to fuck you like an animal." It was probably the sexiest thing to ever have happened to me. I pulled my hands up at either side of my torso to brace myself against his thrusts. He made grunting noises with his efforts, and his hands stayed firmly planted on my hips, guiding his movements.

"Do you like this, Bella? Do you like it rough and hard?" asked Edward as he leaned over me, his chest pressed against my back.

It took me a few tries before I could say, "Oh, yes, Edward. Don't stop. I've been craving you like this." And it was true… I'd been waiting for something less sweet and caring. He was ever the gentleman with me, but sometimes I just wanted to be fucked silly. _And my wish is his command._

He moved even faster, his thrusts losing their rhythm. I was close, so I reached around me, found his hand, and guided it to me so that he could rub that little throbbing button that so needed attention. Once he realized what my intentions were, he rubbed that tiny nub furiously, making me explode around him, clenching and throbbing and seeing stars as I climaxed. Edward followed seconds later, bursting hot and fast into me.

We slid down the side of the piano into a heap on the floor, me snuggling into Edward's side as he wrapped his arms around me. As we attempted to regain our ability to breathe and I smelled the distinctly Edward scent waft from his skin, I realized how incredibly lucky I was. I was a successful author who got to do what I wanted to do for a living. I had amazing friends who stuck with me through thick and thin. I was wrapped around an amazingly sexy, intelligent, gentle, kind man who treated me well and who I loved.

_Wait, what?_

The thoughts and feelings replayed in my head a few times as I made sure I'd gotten them accurate. I realized that everything in my strange, sad little mind was pointing to the fact that I did indeed love Edward Cullen. I tried to process in my mind when this had happened, and I couldn't find a specific time or place. I flirted with the idea of being cheesy and deciding I'd loved him the first time I'd seen him, but in my heart of hearts I absolutely knew I didn't work like that. Really, it had to have happened over the past week when I'd been too busy being sad and worried about Alice to concentrate on anything else. _And the fact that he basically spent the last week taking caring of your ass like the wonderful, amazing man he is._

I had absolutely no idea what to do about the revelation. I knew that I didn't want to be the one to say it first. I was too afraid of getting my heart stampeded on, and I was also subconsciously afraid that he was hiding a dark side like James had been. I was still unable to trust Edward, regardless of this newfound love I was feeling.

I was so incredibly confused, and I didn't know what to do about it. So, as I snuggled closer to Edward and felt the telltale butterflies flap around in my stomach, I decided to just enjoy the feeling and leave the thinking to another time.

********

**E POV**

_Dear God, don't ever let this woman leave me. She's too fucking remarkable to let out of my sight. Thanks! Love, Edward._ I finished the silent letter in my head as I lifted myself from the floor of the piano room and began to redress. I'd just finished having the most astonishing sex with Bella, and I was tempted to let the fact that I loved her slip from my lips. She kept looking up at me, her eyes looking lighter than normal with a warmth and affection I'd never seen in them before. I smiled at her, mentally wrestling with myself, making sure my mouth didn't bring forth the words that I knew would be my undoing.

She rose from the floor at that same moment, throwing her clothing on haphazardly. She put her shirt on inside-out, and I tried to stifle a giggle to no avail.

"What are you snorting about?" she asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"The fact that the tag of your shirt is directly underneath your chin, my darling," I replied, trying to keep myself from bursting. I failed miserably, and an obnoxious guffaw escaped from my throat. The sound caused Bella to giggle at me as she adjusted her shirt back to the way it was meant to be worn.

We left the room hand in hand and went to the kitchen to make something to eat. I decided to show off my culinary prowess by whipping up some couscous. I was surprised to find all the essential ingredients in the cupboard, but Bella reminded me that Alice had recently undergone a brief vegetarian phrase.

Once the meal was prepared, we sat down at the table and ate. Emmett joined us a few minutes later after heating up some chicken tenders in the microwave to add to the couscous.

"When did you get home, Em?" Bella asked before shoveling a bite of her dinner into her mouth. _Such a beautiful, luscious mouth… whoa, there, Cullen, can't let the thoughts wander during polite dinner conversation. _

"Like twenty minutes ago. I was greeted by The Killers from Alice's room and Nine Inch Nails from the piano room. Oh, and some interesting thumping noises were coming from there, too. I sure hope that a couple of animals didn't decide to make a nest in there," he mumbled around his full mouth. My jaw dropped at his statement, and my eyes immediately darted to Bella, whose face had turned a bright, tomato shade of red.

"Um, I don't think they were animals," whispered Bella, her eyes darting down to her food. _Fuck, I hope he's not going to give her a hard time. That could be very, very bad for my chances of getting laid again later._

"Well, whatever happened to be in there sure sounded like they were fucking like them," he countered, and I felt myself deflate a little bit. _Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck._

"Yeah, well, just because you haven't gotten laid in months doesn't mean that you have to tease me for getting my kicks," retorted Bella, and I just stared. _When did this chick grow cajones?_

Emmett was silent after that, and Bella and I quickly finished our food and left the table for her room. She slammed the door closed and flopped onto her bed.

"I fucking _hate_ when he teases me about bringing guys over," she seethed, her brow furrowing and her cheeks retaining their pink-tinged glow.

"Is that a frequent occurrence?" I asked, winking at her, and she gave me a small smile.

"No, but he gets all pissed whenever I talk about the girls he brings home. Did you know that in high school I couldn't have any female friends except for Alice? Emmett kept sleeping with all of them and forgetting to call, and they all got mad at _me _about it. I'm sorry, it's not my fucking fault if those bimbos were too stupid to realize that my brother is a man whore," she ranted, waving her arms wildly. _She looks so adorable when pissed. No wonder you're in love with her_.

"That really stinks. I'm sure he's just trying to be protective of you, though."

"He doesn't need to. For one, he likes you. In fact, you're the only guy I've ever been involved with that Emmett has liked. Good job on that, by the way. But anyway, second, I'm an adult; I can take care of myself." She sat up on the bed. "Why aren't you on the bed with me? I could use a second round about now."

I was a little stunned and not quite sure about her motives. Still, I wasn't exactly going to complain about it.

"Bella, I'm not really up for round two quite yet. In fact, today's been a really long day. Would you be terribly disappointed if I asked to go to sleep soon?" I asked, wondering what she must be thinking about me… and my stamina… at the moment.

"That sounds great to me. Feel like a movie?" She climbed out of her bed and went to her dresser, pulling out a tank top and shorts.

"Sure. Getting comfy first?"

"Of course." She went into the bathroom and shut the door. I darted into the living room for my overnight bag and came back to her room to change into the sleep shorts and T-shirt I'd packed as pajamas. She emerged from the bathroom about thirty seconds after I'd finished changing.

"Alright, Cullen, your pick this time."

We headed into the living room and settled in for a viewing of _Iron Man._ Emmett joined us a few minutes after the beginning, mumbling an apology for being crass to Bella before settling into the armchair to the right of the couch. Bella seemed to really enjoy the movie, making comments about how Tony Stark was characterized in the comic books and the similarities and differences between movie Tony and comic Tony.

When the movie was over, Bella and I climbed into her bed. She lay down on her side, and I slid in behind her, pulling her close to me and trying to slyly press myself against her butt without her notice.

"I didn't know you were a comic book nerd," I teased, nuzzling my face into her hair and inhaling that intoxicating scent of strawberries.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Edward," she whispered as her hands took hold of mine, pulling my arms tighter around her.

"I'm eager to learn everything, Isabella. Now, though, I think it's time to sleep." In what seemed like minutes, her breathing slowed down to a moderate tempo, and I knew she was asleep. She seemed so fragile in my arms, and I was incredibly lucky that she felt safe enough with me to sleep easily against me.

I placed a small kiss on the side of her neck and whispered, "I love you." I knew she was too far gone in her dreamland to hear me. I settled in and let sleep take me. I dreamt of Bella against the piano, of Bella sitting on the couch and laughing, and of her lying in her bed with me, whispering that she loved me, too.

* * *

**A/N:** Title comes from the song "Bad Things" by Jace Everett. It's the theme song for _True Blood_.

Ah, _True Blood_. It's my favorite show right now. I love the books the series is based off of, and the show is wonderfully crafted. Plus, there's Alexander Skarsgard. He's a delicious piece of Swedish man meat, and I wants a bite.

Scott Weiland is the lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver. Watch a video of him on stage. He's magnetic. Jim Morrison was the lead singer of The Doors. I harbored an obsession with both him and the band all throughout my high school years. Jim Morrison is just amazing in my book.

The Polyphonic Spree is a random-ass band, but I kind of love them, and might be able to join them (they have like 25 members.) "Light and Day" is a song that always makes me feel happy no matter what.

I've been a huge fan of Nine Inch Nails for longer than is appropriate, given my age. "The Day The World Went Away" is probably my favorite song by them. "Closer" is always a favorite, even though it's horribly overused. Still, Trent singing those lines, and thinking of the music video where he's tied up and blindfolded... yeah, it makes me happy.

_Iron Man _is a pretty awesome movie. Robert Downey Jr. was born to play Tony Stark, and Jeff Bridges is an awesome villian.

Shout-out to Edwardville livejournal community. Shellsbells and breakingdownslowly wrote an amazing review and recommendation for me. Thanks!

Reviews make me as steamy hot as piano sex. Oh, yeah.


	18. Chapter 18: The Road Not Taken

Thanks to R. for being an amazing sweetheart. Thanks to queenofgrey for allowing me a glimpse into her fascinating life, even if she does not agree on the fascinating part. Thanks to lisa89 and her grammar nit-picking. Thanks to Starrynytex for reminding me that I can, on occasion, speaking intelligently like an adult when I want to.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I thrust them into my _True Blood _obsession.

* * *

**E POV**

I was awoken by the sound of my cell phone blasting away "Ride of the Valkyries" from _Die Walküre_. Bella let out a loud groan next to me and snuggled into my side.

"Turn the Wagner the fuck off before I throw your phone in the garbage disposal," she mumbled before laying a gentle kiss on the side of my neck. I disentangled her body from mine and searched for my phone. I found it in the pocket of my jeans from the day before and noticed it was low on charge before realizing that it was four AM. I didn't even look at the caller ID before I answered.

"What the hell do you want?" I snapped at the person on the other end as I rubbed my eyes, trying to shake off the lingering strands of sleep.

"Hey, E. I realize that it's early and that you probably want to kill me, but I've kind of been recruited in an emergency mission, and I need your help," said Jasper in a soft voice. I wondered if Alice had spent the night and he was trying to be covert.

"What is it? I'm not agreeing to anything unless I know what the fuck you're making me do."

"Rose is getting a divorce, and she wants to get the hell out of her house before Royce comes home from his trip in London. She's cleaning out everything in the fucking house, too, so we need at least the two of us to drive really huge U-Hauls. I might call Emmett and enlist his help as well."

I thought about what Jasper had said for a minute before I replied, "Okay, yeah, I'll do it. I haven't seen Rosie in a while. We have some catching up to do. Are we taking the girls?"

"I'd rather not. You know how Rose is. I think Alice would try to strangle her after five minutes in the same room."

I felt something nudge my shoulder, and I looked at the bed to see Bella perched on the edge of it, kicking me with her foot. She smiled a little devilish smirk at me and said, "Whatever you and Jasper are doing and wherever you're going, I'm in. And so is Alice. You two aren't leaving us behind and having a guy adventure bonding moment. Besides, it'd be nice to experience a change of pace."

I kissed her foot and went back to my phone conversation. "Bella knows, and she's insisting that she and Alice come. Sorry," I said, getting up off the floor and back into the bed with my sleepy, sexy woman.

"Well, I guess that's fine," Jasper responded. "They can drive an extra U-Haul if we need it. Rose is supposed to call me in a few hours when she knows more of the details. We're supposed to get to her ASAP. Royce comes back next Sunday, and she has a ton of shit to move and wrap up while we're there. She even promised some fun shit, but who knows what that means?" His voice started getting a bit louder toward the end of his speech. _I guess Alice is allowed to know now._

"Alright, well, let me know what's up. I'm going back to sleep." I hung up the phone before he could reply and turned my attention to Bella. She had curled up into a ball with her back to me, seemingly asleep again. I climbed back into the bed, leaned over her still body, and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'm serious, Cullen," she grumbled, not moving an inch. "Alice and I are coming along. I know she's been dying to meet Jasper's sister. Let me know when we leave and what to bring along." I waited a second to make sure she wasn't going to speak anymore, and when I was satisfied that she was actually asleep, I let myself relax and follow her lead.

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

Jasper and I were making progress in our drive, watching the scenery change and become increasingly more barren and sprawling. The way the desert stretched all around us made me feel small and insignificant. _I can fix this with a call to Bella_, I thought to myself as I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket.

Jasper reached over and snatched the phone from my fingers. "Nuh uh, Cullen. You've called her about seven times in the past two hours. It's overkill. You can survive without the contact for another hour," he said, keeping one hand on the wheel while the other slipped my phone into his pocket.

I crossed my arms over my chest like a petulant five-year-old, letting the frustration and annoyance swirl around me. "I wouldn't have to call her if you'd actually hold a fucking conversation. Or, you know, listened to some decent music," I grumbled at him.

"Just because you have ridiculously sensitive ears doesn't mean country music is bad, Mr. I'm-the-Next-Mozart. I'm game for a conversation, though. What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know. Just give me my fucking phone back." I tried to reach for the phone, but Jasper's hands were too quick.

"If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you were massively in love with her," he said, laughing to himself. I tried my best to stay as still as possible, but he must have seen something in my face, because he then said, "Holy shit, you are!"

I was silent for a moment as I tried to gather my thoughts. Finally, I responded, "I am. I'm scared to death of it, too. I have no idea if she feels the same way, and you know my issues with trusting women because of Tanya. It's just a mess." I ran my hands through my hair furiously as I contemplated my possible courses of action.

"Edward, just go for it. Tell her how you feel, and soon. I can tell you right now that she more than likely reciprocates the feeling. Have you seen the way she looks at you? I've only ever seen that kind of expression on her face when she's talking about her work, which is the one great love of her life. Dude, she loves you, too. Trust me."

I thought about what Jasper said for a long time, wondering how perceptive he really was about the feelings of others. I knew that he was able to read me like a book, but I had no idea if he was able to do the same with Bella. _Only time will tell, buddy, and you really can't keep your feelings a secret for too long. Better man up and let the cat out of the bag_.

I stared out the window at my surroundings, watching the reddish dirt of the desert move with the slight breeze. I decided in that moment that I would let Bella know how I felt before we left Rose's.

"How much longer to Houston?" I asked, wondering the amount of time I had left before that countdown began.

"Seventeen hours. I was planning on stopping in El Paso overnight and doing the last half of the trip tomorrow, though. Rosie knows when to expect us."

"How are we doing the hotel rooms?"

"No idea. I was thinking all five of us could cram into one if we got two double beds and a cot for Emmett. Unless, of course, you'd rather be alone with Bella."

"Nah, we can all share. It's the more financially responsible decision. Besides, I don't want you, Alice, and Emmett ragging on us tomorrow for anything you hear through the walls."

Jasper laughed and said, "We wouldn't do that." I gave him a pointed look. "Okay, you're right, we would. But only because we care."

After that, he let me put a CD in the player, and I quickly fell asleep as the sounds of The Smiths swirled around my head.

********

**B POV**

"Alice, if you don't stop singing that inane song, I will do a suicide dive out the window of this vehicle. I don't fucking care if the beat is sick and you want to take a ride on my fucking disco stick. And what the hell is a disco stick?" I ranted at Alice, annoyed as all get out by her incessant need to sing Lady Gaga songs at me. I took out Edward's iPod and hooked it up to the transmitter I'd bought just before we left. I searched through his music collection before stopping on the musical _The Last Five Years._

"Bella, this sounds depressing. Why can't we listen to something a bit more upbeat?" Alice asked, her hands drumming erratic beats on the steering wheel.

"Just listen closely, Al. Listen to how the melody interacts with the lyrics and aids in the telling of the story. It's beautiful in its simplistic instrumentation and complex melodic structure," I told her, closing my eyes and relishing as Norbert Leo Butz asked me to spend the next ten lifetimes with him. _If it weren't for Edward, I'd gladly take you up on that offer, Norbert._

"You sound like Edward. What has he done to my best friend?"

"He and I talk about music, and he's been teaching me a bit about music theory and analysis and stuff. It makes listening to music so much more interesting and involved, because now I'm looking for different aspects and perspectives. It's absolutely fascinating."

"Sweetie, I've seen that look in your eyes before. You love him, don't you?"

"How the hell do you know?" I asked, incredulous at how perceptive she was. _It's almost as if she can read my mind._

"That doesn't matter. What matters is whether or not you've told him."

I sighed. "I haven't. I only just realized it yesterday. My brain needs the time to process the fact that I've actually let myself care about a person. Plus, I've been writing up a storm the past twenty-four hours. The words are finally back."

"Do you think the reason the words are flowing is Edward?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. I'm not sure. If they are, then I have no idea what will happen if Edward leaves." _Although, his effect on my writing ability should be the least of my worries. I can't let myself forget what happened the last time I trusted a man._

"Bella, you have to tell him. Besides, I'm sure he feels the same way. Every time you're around each other, you can see the magnetism between you. It's like you're two halves to the same whole."

"You know, we need to talk about something, and it's not this. Didn't you agree to stop meddling in my life?"

Alice's face fell a little bit as she realized what she was doing subconsciously. "I didn't even realize I was doing it. God, I'm really fucked up. I'm sorry for trying to meddle. And I'm sorry again for all the shit I've done our entire lives. Really."

"Alice, you've apologized to me five times already while in this U-Haul. You apologized at home at least once an hour while we packed. I get it. You're sorry. I've forgiven you. Now we need to move on from it and be better than before. I'll try to live my life and not let you lead me around through it. You'll try to keep control in your own life and realize that it's okay sometimes when you're not in control and that not everyone's going to disappoint you if you let them have it. For now, we have fun and leave the seriousness behind. Are you anxious to meet Jasper's sister?"

"Absolutely! From the sounds of it, she seems like an über-bitch. I hope she likes me though. She and Jasper have a close relationship, from what I can gather."

"It'll be fine, I promise you. In the meantime, I've found a new song to listen to that I think you'll like." I clicked the play button, and the first notes of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" floated from the car speakers. Alice and I screeched the lyrics at the top of our lungs, giggling like crazy the entire time. _It's nice to have my best friend back._

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

Many, many hours later, as we entered the city of El Paso, Texas, I received a text message from Edward.

_We're pulling over at the Holiday Inn for the night. See you in a few. 3_

_E_

Upon seeing the little heart symbol, my mind started going a mile a minute. _Does the heart mean he loves me? What will I do if it does? What will I do if he doesn't, and I act like a fool thinking that he does?_

"Bella? Hello? What did the text say?" Alice asked as she snapped her fingers in front of my face.

I shook my head, letting the thoughts filter out before I replied, "We're pulling over at the Holiday Inn for the night. Are you hungry? I'm absolutely famished."

"Are you kidding me? I'm planning on putting that Denny's across the street out of business," she answered as she pulled the car into the parking lot of the hotel.

Once the vehicle stopped, we hopped out quickly and raced each other to the U-Haul our men were exiting. I crashed into Edward's body, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly and pressing my lips to his.

Edward pulled himself back from me a little bit and said, "Whoa! What did I do to deserve that kind of greeting?"

I kissed him again, sliding my tongue into his mouth. His hands moved up to fist into my hair as he deepened the kiss. He tasted like chocolate and coffee, and I was intoxicated by it. When my lungs demanded I let them take in oxygen, I broke the kiss and replied to his question with, "You spent the past twelve hours in a car with Jasper and not me. I missed you. Is that reason enough?"

His arms slipped around my waist and pulled my body to his, embracing me tightly. "It's plenty enough. Now, let's go get some food." He squeezed me before moving past me, taking my hand and leading me to the restaurant. When we reached the door, we realized Jasper, Alice, and Emmett had already been seated at a table and were waiting for us.

We took our seats and looked sheepishly at our friends, who were giving us semi-annoyed looks. Emmett was the first to speak up. "Seriously, Bells, you were seconds away from mounting him in the parking lot. Get a handle on the libido, little sis, before it makes me puke."

Jasper and Alice immediately burst into laughter as Edward and I exchanged embarrassed glances. _Fucking wonderful friends we've got. _

Edward finally said, "Okay, guys, give it a rest. We're hungry and tired, so let's remedy both."

The others stopped their ribbing, and I mouthed, "Thank you," over to Edward. He smiled back at me, reached under the table, and squeezed my hand. That simple action made my heart do backflips in my chest. _Yup, definitely in love with him. You might as well put up posters of him on your wall and create a fan club._

The five of us chatted a bit about our plans for tomorrow and our sleeping arrangements for the night. We decided that to save money, we would all bunk in one room, with Alice and Jasper and me and Edward sharing double beds while Emmett slept on a cot. Then Alice asked for opinions on a theme for her next party, and we discussed ideas such as "Vampire Night" and "I Love the '80s Night". Finally, we decided on "BLT Night," where everyone will either dress in black tie, lingerie, or togas.

After we finished our food, we all dashed to the hotel to check into our room and get settled in. Alice claimed the shower first, so we all sat around and watched TV. Emmett insisted on watching a Bob Saget stand-up special on Comedy Central, and I was surprised to find that some of his jokes, namely the _Full House_ ones, were funny. Once Alice left the bathroom, I darted in, desperate for a shower.

I stripped quickly, desperate to get underneath the hot spray of the water. The hours of sitting in the car had made my lower back ache, and once the water hit the muscles, they immediately began to relax and loosen up. My thoughts wandered to the shower I'd shared with Edward, and my skin began to tingle all over, remembering the sensations I felt while he had pounded into me. _Fuck, now I'm horny, and I'm sleeping in the same room as my brother, almost-sister, and Jasper._

I washed my hair slowly and luxuriously, thankful that I'd remembered to pack my own shampoo and conditioner for the trip. The familiarity of the scent, combined with memories of my father in Forks, helped my sex drive kick back down to neutral. I slathered soap onto my loofah on a stick and washed the grime of travel from my skin, letting the water rinse the wear of the long day away.

I turned the water off and quickly dried myself. I wrapped my hair up in the towel and dressed in the pajama pants and T-shirt I'd grabbed from my bag. I purposefully forgot to grab panties in hopes that maybe Edward and I could pull off a stealthy bang session during the night.

When I emerged from the bathroom, I found Edward, Alice, and Jasper playing Scrabble on one of the beds. Emmett was already asleep on the cot, his loud snores causing Alice to burst into fits of giggles.

Edward stood up when he saw me and grabbed a bunch of stuff that was on the bed next to him. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before he went into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Come and take Edward's place," Jasper said. "He's already winning by one hundred points anyway."

I sat in the spot Edward had just vacated and looked at his tiles and the board. In no time, I was able to double Edward's lead over Jasper and Alice. They both were getting progressively more irritated at me as I put words on the board, strategically placing them to get the double and triple word score squares.

Edward burst through the door of the bathroom and quickly hopped onto the bed behind me, asking excitedly, "Are we winning?"

"We sure are," I replied as he looked at the board and the tiles in front of me.

"That's my girl," he murmured as his lips traveled up and down the side of my neck. I shivered a little at the coolness of his lips and the sensations that kissing that particular spot always brought.

Jasper interrupted our moment by saying, "I'm going to shower now. E, take my spot." He laid a kiss on Alice's lips before he left the room, and Alice sighed, a look of pure contentment on her face. She saw me watching her and winked at me. _She looks like a woman in love. And apparently, now I do, too. How the hell can Edward not notice? I'm as subtle as a big red arrow._

"Alright, Miss I'm-A-Published-Novelist, I want to see your A game," Edward said, flashing his crooked smirk at me.

"You're on, Cullen," I replied, narrowing my eyes.

We continued our game, although Alice may as well not have been there. It had become a battle of my wits against Edward's, and it was a very close, very bloody battle. He was amazingly articulate and intelligent, and he came up with words that I'd never even heard of before. By the time the game ended, my brain felt like mush. Still, as I laid the last word down and realized I'd won, I was satisfied that I was better than Edward at _something._

"Nice game, Cullen," I said, extending my hand to him for a shake.

"Good win, Swan. It's nice to see that you're a gracious winner as well," he replied, taking my hand and holding it still. He tugged on my arm a little bit, and I moved toward him and nestled into his arms.

"Come on, let's get ready for bed," I whispered. He nodded, his chin bumping my forehead a little.

We got off the bed, and I made a move to pull the comforter back when he stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I asked in confusion.

"I brought my own bedding," he replied, gesturing to the corner chair. On it was a massive pile of pillows, sheets, and blankets.

"Why did you bring your own bedding?"

"I don't trust the bedding in hotels. Have you seen those black light reveal shows? Disgusting." He walked over to the chair and picked up the large pile of assorted bedding.

I let out a soft chuckle. "That's kind of adorable, Edward, in a crazy, germaphobic kind of way."

He didn't reply, but instead continued arranging the bed with his belongings on it. When he was satisfied, he crawled into bed and patted the mattress next to him.

"Come on in, the water's fine," he said with a sleepy grin.

I immediately complied, hopping up and swiftly sliding underneath the quilt that covered the lower half of his body. I snuggled up next to him as he slipped his arm underneath my neck.

I fell asleep almost immediately, comforted by his presence and the fact that I loved him.

********

**E POV**

I awoke to see small fragments of sunlight peeking through the mini-blinds of the window. Bella was still sleeping, curled up next to me with an arm and a leg thrown over me. She was so warm, and I could feel her breasts against my torso and her hips against the side of one of mine. I smiled, content with the knowledge that I was lying in bed with the woman I loved and that she seemed both content and secure being held by me.

I carefully rolled her over so that I could slip out of the bed without waking her. Once I was sure of my success, I made my move, standing up and stretching once my feet hit the floor.

"Good morning, Edward," I heard Emmett say behind me. I turned around to greet him, but the words stuck in my throat once my eyes landed on him.

He was sitting stark naked on the cot he'd slept on the night before. His legs were crossed, so I thankfully couldn't see any genitalia, but the fact that he was so casually naked with four other people in the room surprised the hell out of me.

"Um, Emmett? Why isn't there a stitch of clothing on you?" I asked, averting my eyes back to the sleeping angel on the bed next to me.

"After a shower I like to air dry. I figured no one would wake up for a while. Are you an early riser, too?" he asked, as if a normal conversation could be had while he was nude in my presence.

"I hate to be insensitive to your personal preferences, but I don't think I can carry on a conversation with you while you're in your current state." _For God's sake, man, put some fucking clothes on! If Jasper were to wake up right now, he'd be dropping innuendo after innuendo the whole drive to Houston, and I _so_ don't need that right now._

"Oh! Sorry, dude, I forget sometimes that people aren't comfortable with public nudity." He moved outside of my peripheral vision, and a few minutes later he said, "All clear, buddy."

I raised my eyes and was relieved to see he was wearing shorts and a T-shirt.

"Do you do this air drying thing with Alice and Bella around?" I asked, wondering exactly the kind of people I might be associating with for the next however many years.

"Yeah. They're used to it by now. I've been doing it since I was, like, ten."

"Emmett's always been full of himself and how he looks. He thinks he's God's gift to women," I heard Bella say. My eyes moved back to her, and I saw that she'd sat up in the bed. Her hair was a tangled mess, and her eyes were still mostly closed. She looked absolutely adorable.

"I hope you haven't seen your brother naked recently. That would be just weird," I said, reaching over and lightly tracing my thumb over her cheekbone.

She giggled and responded, "Nope. Once the after-shower nudity began, I tried to avoid it as much as possible. So did Alice."

"Damn straight," Alice mumbled from her position on the bed with Jasper curled around her.

"Alright, guys, enough talk about my penchant for nudity after I shower. Let's get dressed and on the road," Emmett said as he started gathering his belongings and shoving them into his suitcase. We all followed his lead by dressing, grooming, and packing as quickly as possible. In no time, I was back in the U-Haul with Jasper and twelve more hours of driving ahead of me.

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

"Okay, Rose, we'll be there really soon, alright?" Jasper said into his phone. He was quiet for a moment before replying, "Love you, too. Bye."

"Is she still as impatient as she used to be?" I asked, wondering if the years of playing the perfect housewife had domesticated her stubbornness or her wild streak.

"Of course she is. She was born that way. So, let's take a look at the map." I grabbed it and held it up so that Jasper could look on with me. "Okay, she said we need to take the 610 South exit and then exit the freeway at San Felipe and turn left underneath the overpass. From San Felipe, we turn left at Willowick and just search for her address. Easy enough, right?"

"Seems so," I replied, studying the map. I was wondering where all the interesting stuff in the city was located, such as the museums and concert halls.

"She wants to go to karaoke tonight at this bar she likes. I hope the girls won't mind."

"They shouldn't. Emmett might."

We were silent for a while, Jasper concentrating on making sure he took the right exits and turns as I texted Bella and Emmett the directions.

Finally, we arrived in front of a large, open gate. We drove in and parked the U-Haul right at the end of the drive. We waited for the girls and Emmett to pull up before getting out and heading to the door. Jasper led the way with Alice behind him. Bella and I grabbed each other's hands and followed them to the door. Emmett stood in back, looking like a bodyguard. _Which he might need to be if Alice and Rose don't get along._

Jasper rang the doorbell, and seconds later the door flew open. Rose stood in the threshold, looking as stunning as she had when I'd first met her. Her blonde hair cascaded down her back in perfectly arranged waves; her blue eyes were accentuated by demure make-up, and her body was encased in a cream-colored dress. She threw her arms around her brother.

"Jazz, I'm so glad to see you! It's been so long!" she exclaimed, pulling away and grabbing his hand to drag him inside. "Come on in, everyone!"

We followed them inside to the foyer. It was gigantic. In fact, the whole house was huge. Everything had been decorated to match Rosalie's personal tastes, which were of the classic yet expensive variety. From the foyer we could see a living area with a huge TV and a study with a cherry wood desk and lots of book shelves.

"Wow," Bella whispered next to me. "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

She couldn't have been more right. We walked into the kitchen, and I was eager to hear the reasoning Rosalie had for this speedy divorce. _I just hope that her usual drama-causing doesn't start up yet. Or that she doesn't mention Tanya. Last I checked, they still kept in touch._

"So, Edward, let me tell you what Tanya's been up to," Rose said as I entered the kitchen with Bella in tow.

_Fuck_.

* * *

**A/N:** Title comes from the poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.

_Die Walküre _is a part of a famous set of operas by Richard Wagner. "Ride of the Valkyries" is probably the most famous piece from it. All of Wagner's music is amazing and bombastic. His ideologies... well, I won't get into that here.

The Smiths were an amazing band from the 80's most famous for introducing the world to Morrissey. "Asleep" and "How Soon Is Now?" are my favorite songs by them.

Lady Gaga is not an artist I endorse. Her usage in this story is because my sister wouldn't stop singing her songs at me while I was attempting to write. Thanks a lot, A!

_The Last Five Years_ is an AMAZING musical that provides a ton of inspiration for me in so much that I do. Check out the song "The Next Ten Minutes". It's so beautiful.

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler makes me happy. The literal music video on youtube provides me comedic relief when I have bad days.

The Bob Saget special does exist, and I am ashamed to say I actually did laugh at a few of the jokes.

Shout-out to Edwardville livejournal community... I love you!!! You treat me so well.

**Special Announcement**: My update frequency may slow again for the next few weeks. I have a lot going on with my job and personal life, and this may reduce my opportunities to write. I've also been very sick for the past week, which has slowed my writing. I promise, though, that I'm not complaining... much. :) Don't be worried, though... I am not giving this story up, and I will post as often as I possibly can. Thanks to all of you who have stuck by me this long. Your kind words and encouragement are incredible motivation!

Reviews are way, way better than hotel Scrabble games. However, they are nowhere near as good as a naked Emmett.


	19. Chapter 19: A Total Stranger 1 Black Day

Thanks to R. for dealing with my girly-ness and for being willing to take me to the Texas Renaissance Festival. Thanks to queenofgrey for thinking my meticulous outlines are good. Thanks to lisa89 for being my beta, even for a short amount of time. Thanks to Mac for stepping up to the plate and joining the DLVD team in lisa89's place. Thanks to Starrynytex for everything.

* * *

**E POV**

"I don't really care what she's been doing, Rose. She's not a part of my life anymore. This is my girlfriend, Bella," I said, gesturing to the lovely lady beside me.

Rosalie looked her up and down and said, "Well, she's certainly very different from the girls you used to be into. She's very… hippie chic. I like it. My name's Rosalie Hale, it's nice to meet you."

Rosalie extended a hand to Bella, who took it. "Bella Swan," she introduced. "Your home is lovely. I do want to ask you something, though. Since Jasper's last name is Whitlock, and Edward told me your husband's is King, then why is your last name Hale?"

Rosalie let out a harsh laugh before replying, "Hale is our mother's maiden name. I used it when I worked as a model."

Bella, Alice, and Emmett stood there, staring in shock. _Fuck, why didn't we tell them Rose was a model? Now everything's all awkward. Then again, we all do awkward well._

Emmett broke the silence by saying, "I should have guessed. You're absolutely gorgeous. I'm Emmett McCarty, Bella's brother." Rosalie extended her hand to Emmett, and he reached out and slipped his hand underneath Rosalie's, kissing the back of it. Rosalie giggled a little bit. _What the fuck? I've never see Rosalie Hale giggle for a man before. For Prada, yes, but never a man._

"And why is your last name different from your sister's?" Rose asked.

"Um, Bella and I have different biological fathers." Emmett looked down to the ground, his stance changing and growing more awkward and embarrassed.

"Oops. I didn't mean to make things even more awkward. You all will learn soon enough that I like to keep things light and uncomplicated," Rosalie responded, waving her hand and dismissing the tension in the air.

Bella and I looked at each other, a silent conversation passing between us. We both knew this next week would not be, in Rose's words, "light and uncomplicated." I put my arm around her in an attempt to comfort her, but I was not convinced that Rose would play nice this week.

"Hi! My name is Alice," the tiny brunette to Bella's left introduced, holding her hand out to Rosalie.

Rose took the hand in front of her as she said, "Oh, hello. Who are you in relation to this motley little group?"

"I'm Bella and Emmett's friend, Bella's personal assistant, and Jasper's girlfriend," Alice replied matter-of-factly. Rosalie's face fell in immediate shock.

"Jasper didn't tell me he had a girlfriend. I mean, we haven't spoken in about seven months, but still…" she trailed off. Her eyes darted to her brother accusingly.

"Don't even think about getting on me about it, Rose. It's a two-way street, big sis. You could've just as easily picked up a phone. Besides, once you did call, I got the news of your divorce, which completely blindsided me. I thought you and Royce were trying for a baby," Jasper said, his voice clear and strong without betraying any emotion. His eyes, on the other hand, were full of hurt and confusion.

"We were. It's complicated. Anyway, never mind the whole thing. It's nice to meet you, Alice. You seem nice," Rosalie said, her eyes looking weary and sad. _Shit, there's so much going on with her, and we haven't even scratched the surface._

"Thank you, Rosalie. You've done a great job in decorating this place. Very classic," replied Alice, the picture of proper etiquette.

"Come, let me show you to your rooms. I didn't know Alice and Bella were coming, but I doubt you and Edward would mind having them sleep in your rooms, huh, Jasper?" Rosalie said as she led us out of the kitchen and to the staircase in the foyer.

At the top of the stairs, she turned to a hallway on the right and stopped at the first door on the left. "This is where Edward and Bella will stay. Jasper, Alice, your room is across the hall. Emmett, your room is farther down this way. Let me show you," she said, leading Bella's brother down the hall. _I wonder how long it will take Rose to sleep with him. She tends to go for the brawny ones, and I'm sure she's itching for some TLC not associated with her ex._

"Let's check the room out, E," Bella said, taking my hand and pushing open the door. She pulled me into the room and onto the giant king-size bed smack dab in the middle of the spacious arrangements Rosalie had made.

"Geez, this room is huge. What does Rosalie's soon-to-be-ex do?" Bella asked, eyes taking in the sight of the ornate décor around us.

"He's an executive for a British company that makes medical supplies or something. He's got a pretty hefty paycheck," I replied, closing my eyes and relishing the fact that I was actually _alone_ with Bella for the first time in two days. Well, as alone as we could be in a house full of people.

"Why do you think she's leaving him?" Bella asked as she snuggled into my side and kissed my neck.

"No idea, although if I had to guess, I'd guess infidelity."

"That sucks. Rosalie seems kind of intense. Is she always like that?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I've rarely seen her act vulnerable or sweet, but when she does, it's always sincere. She's never faked anything about herself and expects everyone else around her to be as upfront about things as she is. The fact that she didn't tell everyone about the reason for her quick split from Royce has me curious and worried about her. As difficult as she can be, she's the sister I never had."

"Why would she bring up Tanya then? That was such a bitch move on her part." _Ever perceptive, my Bella. You took the words right out of my mouth._

"She never got the whole story about the split from Tanya, and from her perspective I looked like a cold bastard because I didn't take Tanya back when she came a-begging. Jasper never told Rose because he wouldn't betray my trust like that. One day I guess I will tell Rose, but you can understand why I'd want to keep some of the Tanya stuff away from her."

Bella stroked my cheek lightly. "I wish you'd tell me some of the stuff you left out. You said yourself that there were parts you weren't comfortable telling."

"Trust me, when I'm ready to share that with you, you'll be the first person to know." _But first I need to spout out the words "I love you" without having a panic attack beforehand._

She lifted her head up and brought her face close to mine, lightly touching her lips to mine in a feather-soft kiss. "Good. Now, how thick do you think the walls of this room are? Do you think Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie would be able to hear us if we decided to spend the entire afternoon engaging in amorous activities?" She gave me a mischievous grin, and my arms pulled her body flush against mine.

"Oh, I doubt Emmett and I could hear you from our rooms, but Jasper and Alice might appreciate it if you keep the noise down, my friends," said Rosalie from the doorway, her arms folded across her chest.

I lifted my head to look at her. "To what do we owe this interruption, Rose? Ready to put us to work already?" I asked, hoping that my alone time with Bella hadn't ended so quickly. _Still, Edward, you have all night with her. Remember that._

"Not quite. Bella, did you happen to bring an evening gown or something else dressy with you?" Rose asked, her face going into its _serious business_ expression. I could always tell Rosalie was serious when her eyebrows scrunched together and her jaw seemed a bit tight.

"No, I didn't. Why do you ask?" Bella responded, her face laced with confusion.

"Well, I was going to make this a surprise for my favorite kind-of brother, but I have tickets to go see _La traviata_ tonight at the Houston Grand Opera. It's a premiere night, so it's a dress-up kind of occasion," she said, flashing a bright smile at me. _Good ol' Rose. She always knew how to appeal to my classical side when at a loss for ways to relate to me._

"Is this a good surprise or a bad one, Edward? We did just finish up two days of travel," Bella asked me, eyes shifting towards Rosalie curiously.

"It's a good surprise. _La traviata_ is one of my favorites. I haven't been to a production of it in years. Thanks, Rose," I said, smiling back at the woman in the doorway. She had a way of being incredibly generous and sweet when I least expected.

"Well, don't thank me just yet. We all have to go shopping. I've given Jasper directions to a tux shop for you men folk to go to while I take Bella and Alice to search for proper evening gowns," Rosalie said.

"Just us girls?" Bella asked, her voice rising a little in pitch.

"Yup. It'll be fun, and I promise I won't force you into anything you don't want. I'd offer to let you and Alice borrow some of my dresses, but we don't have the time to get them altered. Besides, I'm sure there's something we can find off the rack at the Galleria that'd be suitable for the two of you." Rosalie turned and exited the room, calling behind her, "Be downstairs and ready to leave in fifteen minutes!"

Bella turned to me and asked, "Should I be worried?"

I tried to give her a reassuring smile as I replied, "Honestly? Maybe."

********

**B POV**

"Welcome to my home away from home, ladies," Rosalie said as she slid her car into a parking space. When Rosalie pulled the yellow Porsche out of the garage, Alice's eyes brightened, and the two were immediately the best of friends. I, however, had not taken to Rosalie so easily. I wasn't quite sure when she was being sincere and when she was just being bitchy.

Once we were all out of the car, Rosalie led us to a sidewalk that had a crosswalk at a traffic light. On the other side of the crosswalk was a Neiman Marcus, which was the first stop on our shopping excursion. It was on the end of the Galleria Mall, which Rosalie jabbered about the entire car ride. Apparently, it was the "best mall in the city, and quite possible the state," according to Rosalie.

Once we were in the store, Rosalie and Alice immediately darted in opposite directions, determined to find the perfect pair of earrings (Rosalie) and a beautiful pair of strappy sandals (Alice). I was on my own in an unfamiliar store full of items that didn't seem to fit my style very well. _I wish Edward were here. He's much more the Neiman Marcus type._

I decided to find a mall directory and promptly headed toward the exit I saw on the other side of the store. As I left Neiman Marcus, I spotted a mall directory kiosk. _Yes! Now on to something a little more me._

After looking at all of my options, I decided to hit two stores: Betsey Johnson and BCBG Max Azria. I watched the hustle and bustle of the people around me as I walked, enjoying the feeling of actually having some me time for the first time in what seemed like months.

There was an ice rink on the bottom floor of the mall, and, from my place on the second story, I could look down at it. There were a few people skating, but my eyes kept wandering to a family on the ice. The father and mother each held one of their daughter's hands as they slowly made their way around the rink, laughing as they tried the keep the little girl from falling. The father's hair was an auburn shade, a little darker than Edward's but kind of similar. The mother's hair was a rich brunette cascade of curls, and the little girl had inherited her father's hair color and mother's curls. For a brief moment, I envisioned myself and Edward on the ice with our own daughter, and my heart yearned for this scenario to be real.

_Wait a second, Isabella. We haven't even said, "I love you" yet, and you're already planning on kids_. I sighed, knowing that I needed to stop putting off the inevitable.

I arrived at Betsey Johnson and browsed around for a bit before deciding that nothing in the store seemed dressy enough for the particular event for which I needed to dress. I headed for my second option, wondering where I would go next if I didn't like anything. _There's always one of the typical designers; you can't go wrong with the classics, even if they aren't your style._

As I was about to enter the store, I received a text message from Alice.

_Where are you? I turned around and you disappeared._

_A_

I sent her a reply, crossing my fingers that she wouldn't decide to come "help" me. As much as I loved Alice and respected her sense of style, I usually hated everything she attempted to get me to wear.

_BCBG. I'll meet up with you and Rose later._

_B_

I walked into the store and was browsing through their numerous black dresses when I received another text.

_I'm still trying on stuff, but Rose is coming over there. We'll meet at Sephora. 3_

_A_

I was absolutely positive that I didn't want Rosalie to come meet up with me, but, unfortunately, I didn't have a choice. Instead of worrying about it, I went back to the rack and selected three dresses to try on: a black, strapless tiered lace gown with a black ribbon at the waist, a red halter dress with an empire waist and layered chiffon skirt, and a white halter dress with a tiered skirt and a black satin sash that created an empire waist. Rosalie walked into the store as I was about to enter the dressing room and spotted me immediately.

"Bella! Oh, I'm just in time to give my critiques," she said, clapping her hands joyfully._ Oh, goody, I _love_ being critiqued on my fashion. Ugh._

I stepped into the fitting room and slipped the white dress on first. It was a little loose-fitting, but I thought it looked nice. I took a deep breath, counted to five, and stepped out of the dressing room to get Rosalie's opinion.

"That's a nice fit on you, Bella, but I'm not sure about the color. You're skin is a lovely porcelain shade, and the white of the dress just makes you look dead. Next!" Rosalie exclaimed, the words rushing out of her mouth as if she were a judge on _Project Runway_.

I bit my tongue and went back into the dressing room. I put the red dress on and headed back out to my doom.

"That color looks amazing on your skin, but the skirt makes you look short. Next!"

At this point, I wanted to strangle Rosalie. Still, I had one more dress to try on, so I went back into the dressing room. The black one was my favorite out of the dresses I'd chosen, and I hoped that it met Rosalie's standards. I slipped the dress on and admired it in the mirror. I really loved it, and I hoped Rosalie did, too. I steeled myself for her critique and headed back out.

"Oh, Bella. That's definitely the perfect dress. Edward will die when he sees how lovely that color looks against your skin and how the cut of the dress hugs your curves. You know, you really are a rather beautiful woman." I blushed at her compliments, and Rosalie chuckled before saying, "Alright, let's pay and get out of here. I wanted to talk to you about something anyway," Rosalie said as she walked towards the register. I went back into the dressing room and changed back into my jeans and black tank top.

When I emerged, I went to the register to buy the dress. I took out my wallet from my purse, but Rosalie stopped me.

"I'm taking care of this. You wouldn't have had to buy this if it weren't for me and my failed marriage," she said as she pulled out a credit card. "Besides, Royce will pay for this, not me." She laughed, a sharp sound with a bit of bitterness behind it.

"Why are you being so nice to me? You don't even know me," I asked, wondering if she had some ulterior motive.

"I know, but when ya'll showed up, Edward looked so… alive and peaceful when he looked at you. I remember the completely dead look in his eyes for the days and months after his relationship with Tanya ended. I know I probably come off as a bit of a heinous bitch, but I really do care about him. You seem to make him happy, so I'm making an effort to play nice."

I had no idea how to react. This stranger was opening up to me about my boyfriend over designer gowns, and all I could think about was how nervous I was to see Edward in a tuxedo. _My life is officially a sitcom or something. I'll call it _Everybody Loves Life with Bella_ or something._

As Rosalie and I left the store she said, "So, I guess all of you are wondering about why I'm getting divorced, huh?"

After a few seconds, I responded, "I'm curious, but don't feel like you have to tell me anything. It's your personal story, so share only if you want to."

"I feel like I can share anything with you. Like you'd understand and not pity me or be judgmental. Alice, she's seems sweet, but she doesn't seem to have your kind of depth. You and Edward are one and the same in that regard, I guess. I'd much rather tell Edward this story and never have Jasper hear of it, but then again, Jasper has to know. He's my brother.

"But anyway, back to my tales of marital woe. About two years ago, Royce and I decided to have a baby, but didn't have any luck. About three months ago, we went to a fertility specialist to figure out what the problem was. They found that I had only one ovary, and the fallopian tube for the working ovary was misshapen. I was told I had about a ten percent chance of ever getting pregnant. Royce and I argued that night for hours, and he told me that I was basically useless to him if I couldn't bear his children.

"Two weeks ago I received a phone call from one of the other executives at the company. This woman, a kind, generous person named Siobhan, told me that Royce had gotten his London secretary pregnant and was planning on leaving me for her. I immediately set the divorce proceedings in motion. Royce and I didn't have a pre-nuptial agreement, so I'll probably get half of everything because of Royce's infidelity. Still, it doesn't change the fact that I can't have children." She sighed and looked at her feet.

I wasn't quite sure what came over me, but my arms immediately wrapped around her shoulders. It was an awkward embrace, considering she was a good nine inches taller than I was with her heels on. I felt her chest heave with sobs, and I led us to a nearby bench so that we could be more comfortable in this strange bonding moment. _Who knew I'd be the first one she'd open up to? And here I thought she was acting like a bitch for no reason. _

After about two minutes she pulled away. "I'm sorry to get all emotional on you. I'm sure it's incredibly awkward to have this almost stranger blubbering all over you," she said, wiping her eyes and searching for something in her purse.

"Believe it or not, I've been in stranger situations. Remind me to tell you about my gay best friend Jacob sometime," I replied, trying my best to lighten the mood. _Besides, I was telling her the truth. The cotton candy thong story would be an awesome one to tell._

Rosalie pulled out a makeup compact and checked her face for a second before putting it back in her purse, satisfied with her reflection. "I'm sure I'll meet him pretty quickly once I'm in Los Angeles. Although my first order of business will be selling off a bunch of my belongings and finding somewhere to live."

"I didn't realize you were moving to L.A. It'll be nice for Jasper to be able to spend time with you, and Alice and I will be glad to have you around. We'll all make sure that you'll be alright, I promise. Besides, if worse comes to worse I could always hire you as my second personal assistant," I said, winking at her. I honestly wasn't sure how things would work out, but I knew that if she needed to, she could move into the spare room above the garage. I was starting to like her, now that I understood her a little better.

She giggled and asked, "What do you do, anyway? I meant to ask about it at the house but forgot."

I explained to her about my novels, and she seemed interested in the entire writing process I went through when publishing a book. She'd never read my works before, so it was kind of refreshing to talk about my job without worrying about upsetting a fan.

I received a text message as I was about to explain the plot of _Emerald Azure Ruby_, and I dug my phone out of my pocket to look at it.

_I've been waiting at Sephora for 15 minutes. Hurry the f up!_

_A_

"Oops," I said to Rosalie, "Alice is getting impatient. We better get over there, pronto."

We made it to the store in seconds to find Alice standing in the entrance, her arms crossed over her chest as she tapped her foot. I gave her a hug and said, "Rose and I were bonding. I'm sorry, Ali. I'll pay for anything you want in here."

Alice laughed, hugged me back, and said, "I'm just being silly, Bells. Come on, girls, we only have five hours to get makeup and accessories, go home, and get ready."

We decided on our makeup purchases rather quickly, with Rosalie and Alice choosing understated smoky eye colors and neutral lipstick by Lancôme and me choosing a richly colored Urban Decay eye shadow palette and a deep red lip color by Kat Von D. We then headed back to Neiman Marcus to look at shoes, because, according to Alice, "the Christian Louboutins are to die for!"

Unfortunately, she was right. I found an amazing pair of black heels with striped lace and Alice chose a pair of platform heels made of red silk. Rosalie decided to wear the black suede Manolo Blahniks she had at home. She also offered to let us browse her handbag selection, stating that she had over one hundred in her closet. _Being around Rosalie is like stepping into an episode of _Sex in the City_, except the city is hotter and we have no Samantha. Although in this scenario, that means I'd be Carrie, and Edward is definitely not a Mr. Big kind of guy._

When we got home I asked Alice to style my hair for me, since I wanted to make my naturally wavy hair look more polished and uniform, and I have a hard time making the back look the same as the front. While Alice styled my hair, Rosalie sat with us and chatted about the men in our lives as she pinned hers into a simple, elegant updo. Once my hair was set, Rosalie and I began our makeup while Alice quickly curled her own hair. It didn't take us long at all to finish our grooming, and we went downstairs to make up a batch of margaritas while we waited for our departure time to get closer.

About thirty minutes before we had to leave, we headed back upstairs to put on our dresses, apply last minute touch-ups to our hair and makeup, and pick out our handbags for the evening from Rosalie's collection. She had _a lot_ to choose from, but I eventually decided on a small, beaded black Chanel clutch. Alice chose a red Chanel clutch while Rosalie selected her dress for the evening. Rosalie's dress, a white, almost Grecian-looking dress by Dior, made her look like a goddess on Mount Olympus. Alice was the last of us to finally get dressed, and her dress was a lovely knee-length red color with a full, pleated skirt. As I looked at the three of us in the mirror, I definitely felt like the plain Jane, even though I knew all three of us looked amazing. _It's hard to compete with a former supermodel and a gorgeous, fairy-like brunette, but dammit, I put in a valiant effort._

We heard the guys downstairs waiting for us, and I sent a quick text to Edward that read:

_Wait for us at the foot of the stairs._

_B_

We made our descent, deciding that Rosalie would go first, followed by Alice, and then me. I heard the guys gasp and _ooh_ and _aah_ at Rosalie, and I heard Jasper exclaim how amazingly gorgeous his girlfriend was as Alice made her way down the stairs. I was a bit nervous, and I prayed to God that Edward would approve of my outfit.

I slowly made my way down the stairs, looking down at my feet in an effort to make sure I didn't trip and fall. I heard Emmett say, "My God, Bells," and I decided to look up.

Emmett's eyes were wide and kind of frightened. I had no idea what that could have meant, but I figured it had to do with realizing his baby sister was actually a grown woman now or something like that. Jasper had a gentle smile on his face, but kept his eyes mostly on Alice, which I thought was sweet and endearing. Rosalie had a smirk on her face, and when my eyes caught hers, she winked and mouthed, "Knockout!" at me.

My eyes finally fell to Edward. He had the widest grin I had ever seen on his face, and his entire being glowed with this intense kind of energy that I couldn't quite decipher. His eyes were brilliant, and I could see a strong emotion lurking in them.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I realized then that he loved me too. The look on his face completely confirmed it, and I was jubilant. I picked up my pace on the steps, but on the last one I slipped.

_Fuck me_.

* * *

**A/N: **The title comes from "a total stranger one black day" by e.e. cummings.

_La traviata _is an amazing opera by Giuseppe Verdi, who was one of the greatest operatic composers ever to live. It's the opera that Vivian and Edward go to in _Pretty Woman._

The Galleria is a real place in Houston, Texas. All places mentioned in Houston are, in fact, real places that I go to frequently, considering I live in H-town.

Sephora is where I buy a lot of my make-up. Bella's eyeshadow shades by Urban Decay are Chopper, Sin, and Polyester Bride.

A lot of this chapter was inspired by a _Sex and the City _marathon I came across on TV one night. There are many things I disliked about the show, but the fashion was never one of them.

Shout-out again to Edwardville! 700 and counting!

Reviews are infinitely better than falling down stairs.


	20. Chapter 20: Love Song

Thanks to R. for showing me a great time at the Texas Renaissance Festival and for being so sweet and attentive. Thanks to Jes for being a genuinely kind person and a good friend. Thanks to Mac for extending her amazing editing skills to me, even though she barely knows me. Thanks to Britt for lending an ear, even when I sometimes do things like fall asleep and forget to respond back.

**Note**: My updates will more than likely be about a week and a half to two weeks apart now. As things progress with my job, I find I have less and less time and energy for the things I enjoy. I'm hoping that will change soon, but for now, I write when I am able. Also, my failure at replying to reviews makes me feel like a horrible person. I do truly appreciate each and every review, and I am so happy to have all of you as readers. You make this whole thing seem worth it for me. :)

Disclaimer: S. Meyer own these characters. I dress them up and send them to the opera.

* * *

**E POV**

As Bella descended that staircase, I stopped breathing. The only thing in my mind was how much I loved the gorgeous, amazing angel making her way to me. When her eyes met mine I saw the nervousness in them, and I couldn't help but grin at her. She had no idea that I loved her or that she was absolutely stunning. _Time to let her know about both, Cullen. _

She stopped for a second, the expression on her face changing from nervous to shocked to ecstatic. I began to wonder what the hell was going on in her head as she started walking down the stairs at a faster pace. She slipped on the last step, and I darted to her in an attempt to catch her before she hit the ground. My arms slid under hers, and I pulled her into my chest, relieved that I was quick enough. _Smooth move there, buddy. You are a rock star._

"You need to be a little more careful there, Isabella. Don't want to have anything bad happen to this vision of beauty, would we?" I murmured to her, and she broke out into a deep flush.

"It's time to get going," Rosalie announced. "Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and I will take the Mercedes. Edward, I'm going to let you try out Royce's car. I remember your appreciation for fine automobiles." Everyone headed out to the garage, and I righted Bella back to her feet.

"I mean it, Bella. I don't want you to break your nose or something and ruin this perfect face of yours," I said to her, kissing the tip of her nose as I grabbed her hand. I led her to the garage and stared at the eight cars in front of me, wondering which one Rosalie was going to let me drive.

"Here are the keys, Edward. They're for the last car on the other end. Have fun!" Rose called as she tossed me a key ring and headed to the driver's side of the Mercedes.

_Holy shit. The last car is a fucking Aston Martin. Could tonight get any more perfect?_

"Edward, when we get home tonight, I want to talk to you about something. Is that alright?" Bella asked, and I turned to look at her. Her expression was one of fear and shyness, and I was immediately curious about what on earth she had to say.

_Well, you'll find out soon enough, huh? _I led Bella to the car and opened the passenger door for her. We both settled into the car and followed Rosalie to the theatre. I had a nagging feeling that tonight would be incredibly significant, but I had no idea why. Bella's face looked expectant and nervous, and I knew that whatever she had to say was going to either be really, really good for me, or really bad.

We didn't talk very much during the drive to the theater, but I barely even noticed, to be honest. I was driving an Aston Martin, and it was _awesome._ It handled beautifully, and I could feel the power of the engine rumble through me as I zipped the car along, following the directions Rosalie had given Bella to help us navigate the foreign city.

Once we reached the theater, everything was a bit of a blur as we parked and went inside. Rosalie led our group through crowds, exclaiming, "We're running late! Hurry up!" Alice teetered on her high heels after Jasper, who was mocking his sister behind her back. Emmett's eyes never left Rosalie's ass. Bella laughed at the collective sight of our friends and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing my neck. We climbed a set of stairs, stumbling a little as we tried to synchronize our movements as we held on to each other. Finally, we reached our seats. I led Bella to the seats at the front of the box and was pleased when no one contested my move. _Everyone must have agreed to let the music nerd and his gal be in the front on the drive over._

We sat down and immediately clasped hands, our fingers entwining and gripping tightly. Bella leaned over and whispered, "I'm excited. This is my first opera." I turned to her, beaming with joy that I could share this experience with her.

I replied, "You won't be disappointed." As the words fell from my lips, the lights went down and the conductor walked out, taking his bow and signaling to the orchestra that it was time to tune and prepare.

Once the tuning was over, silence filled the theater as the lights focused on the stage. The orchestral prelude began as the scene began to be set and the chorus filled the stage. The soprano playing Violetta wove her way through the people, her dress an ornate ruby red with billowing skirts that swirled around her as she moved.

I looked over at Bella, wondering if I could read from her expression what she thought of the performance so far, before the singers had a chance to make a definitive impression on her. Bella's eyes were wide as she took in the spectacle on the stage, and she was sitting close to the edge of her seat. There was a soft smile on her face, and I noticed that her eyes had started following every move "Violetta" was making. Seeing her look so enthralled made my heart leap with the satisfaction of knowing that she seemed to really enjoy everything she'd already seen. I had a strong connection to operatic music, and I hoped that she'd be able to at least appreciate the beauty of it. I was eager to discuss tonight with her later, after she got whatever was on her mind out into the open. My heart raced a little as the curiosity of what might be going on with my beloved overtook me, but I reined it in and put my focus back on the performers.

As the story unfolded and the characters of Violetta and Alfredo confessed their love for one another, I realized that I'd been a huge coward in waiting so long to let Bella know how I felt. I should have been singing my love for her in the streets and on rooftops instead of shamefully admitting it to Jasper and hiding it from the one person who should know.

My eyes could barely stay on the stage throughout the performance. Bella's expressions and reactions were mesmerizing. During the intermissions she would turn to me and jabber on about how she felt about the story and the music. She especially enjoyed "Sempre libera" and couldn't stop raving about the tenor playing Alfredo. I had a hard time focusing on her words, though, because her lips looked so pink, and I wanted to sweep her up into my arms, confess my undying love to her, and kiss her passionately. _And then she'd mock you mercilessly for being an unoriginal douchebag, Cullen._

The opera ended with Violetta's dramatic death, and once the lights went up Bella was on her feet, applauding ferociously. I honestly hadn't paid much attention to the actual music, although I was able to discern that the performance was decent and that the production value was comparable with the other main opera houses in the United States, save for the Met.

As we walked out of the theater, Alice asked, "So, Edward, what's your expert musical opinion of the caliber of that performance?"

I quickly answered before thinking, "The soprano singing Annina was a little sharp in the third act, and the orchestra had a couple of tempo issues. The tenor singing Alfredo did well, but really, no one will ever sing Verdi tenor roles like Pavarotti, may he rest in peace. All in all, though, it was a pretty good performance, and I enjoyed it. What did you think?"

"I liked it a lot," Alice replied. "The costumes were beautiful, and the story was interesting. Why did it have to end tragically, though?"

Bella said, "Almost all of the really great operas are tragedies, Alice. It's like Shakespeare in that regard. I particularly love the way Verdi orchestrates these horrible stories and makes them poetic and gorgeous in their heart-wrenching agony."

I looked her in the eye and stared, a bit taken aback by her observation and the way she phrased it. "You are stunning, you know that?" I finally said to her, wondering how exactly she'd take it. I hadn't been exactly clear on how she was stunning, although she truthfully knocked me off my feet in every way possible.

She smiled and replied, "Of course I do. Come on, E, let's head home. I'm exhausted."

I leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "I hope not too exhausted. I have plans for you after you tell me what you wanted to."

She shivered and whispered back, "I can't wait."

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

We walked up the stairs in Rosalie's silent house. The rest of the group decided on the way home that they wanted to stop and get something to eat. Bella and I decided that we'd prefer to have the house to ourselves for a bit and opted out. Rosalie told us the alarm code and where to find the spare key, giggling as Emmett made some sort of inaudible, sexually suggestive comment.

We entered our room and both sat down on the edge of the bed in silence. Bella kept opening her mouth and closing it, apparently searching for the words she needed to say.

I was scared to death. From the look on Bella's face, I gathered she was, too. Thoughts flashed across my mind, scenes of her breaking up with me or revealing she was pregnant. I hoped and prayed and bargained with God that everything would be okay and she'd just reveal something silly, like that she wanted me to tie her up while she called me "Daddy."

"Edward, I'm not quite sure how to begin," she sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"Just say the first thing that comes to mind," I answered. _As long as it isn't something like, "Your penis is small, and I hate you. Later, suckah."_

A few minutes passed before a rush of words fell out of her mouth. "You know, you're this wonderful, interesting, sensitive guy. You're a sexy beast, and a gazillion women would be lucky to spend time with you. I have no idea how I got lucky enough to meet you, but I'm extremely grateful for it." She paused, took a breath, and continued, even faster than before. "You make me so happy, and I'minlovewithyou." She lifted her head from my shoulder and turned away from me to face the wall.

It took me a minute to process everything she'd said to me. _She's in love with me. She's in LOVE with me. She's in love with _me.

"I'm in love with you, too," I said softly before I lost my nerve.

Bella abruptly turned around and threw her arms around my neck. The motion pushed me back onto the bed, and she ended up lying directly on top of me.

"Really? You really do?" she asked, a huge grin planted on her face. She looked like she was glowing, she was so happy.

I laughed. "Of course I do, you silly girl. How could I not? You're so damn cute." I kissed her cheeks before kissing her mouth gently. She immediately deepened the kiss, the tip of her tongue tracing the outer edges of my upper lip before dipping into my mouth.

My hands ran up her sides and around to her back, and I held her close, feeling her warmth and relishing the thought that she was _mine._ Her hands were now flat on the bed on either side of my face, and she pushed up on them a little, breaking our kiss and moving her lips to nibble and suck on my neck. I groaned, unable to hide my intense desire to have her.

"Bella," I murmured hoarsely into her hair. She lifted her head to look at me. "Thank you for loving me back." I kissed her lips gently before moving my lips down her neck.

"Why are you thanking me?" she asked, a little puzzled.

"Because you've made me so blissfully happy, and I thought I'd never be able to have that after Tanya. Thank you for making me feel normal again."

"You're welcome. Thanks for not being an asshole."

"You're very welcome," I replied with a grin on my face as I reached for the zipper of her dress and lowered it slowly. Her skin was illuminated by the security lights shining through the window from outside as I rolled her onto her back and peeled the dress away from her body. The only clothing underneath the dress was a pair of black lace panties, held in stark contrast to her porcelain skin. She looked angelic as she languished on the bed, waiting for me to continue.

I climbed down from the bed as I unbuttoned my shirt with flying fingers, desperate to get back to my beloved. _My beloved._ It was exciting and terrifying to think those words, know the truth and weight behind them. I looked into Bella's eyes, dark and unreadable, and knew that if I could see them, there'd be nothing but love and reassurance in them. I slid the shirt from my frame and quickly removed the rest of my clothing. My hands traced patterns up Bella's legs as I made my way back onto the bed, and a small moan escaped the perfect Cupid's bow of her lips. I let my fingers dip between her thighs, lightly grazing up and down the fabric of her undergarments, feeling the dampness that had seeped through.

"Already so wet for me, Bella. Have you been thinking of this all evening?" I asked her as I slid my hands to her hips and gently tugged her panties down.

"Um, yes?" she answered breathlessly, her hips lifting to help me remove the last bit of fabric. When I was finished, I moved back up to her and laid my body on hers. My legs nestled in between her legs, and she lifted her knees, locking her ankles at the small of my back.

My lips pressed against hers with the barest of touches as I pushed into her. Her hands swept around my ribcage and hooked behind my shoulders, her head thrown back as the most primal of noises left her throat. She'd never had this kind of reaction with me before, and I had no idea what I had done differently, but whatever it was, I was immediately grateful for it. I had never seen her look so sexy or so vulnerable, and it took me a second to realize that the cause was the fact that we were in love with each other, and that meant she could trust me enough to completely let go. And let go she did.

Her hands and lips seemed to be everywhere at once, and the sensations were maddening. Her hips thrust and bucked against mine in a frenzied rhythm that only got faster. Her tell-tale flush seemed to cover every inch of her body, and her lips were a ripened cherry red from the constant kissing and sucking on my lips, neck and chest. She was all I could see, hear, smell, taste, touch. Bella, Bella, Bella. My love, my lover. She was everything to me now, the only thing that mattered, and we were one in this, the most fleeting of moments.

"I love you, I love you, oh, Edward," she repeated like an incantation, almost as if she were casting a spell around us so that we could live in this moment for all eternity.

"I love you, too, Isabella. You're perfection," I whispered into her ear, and her whole body convulsed against mine.

It didn't take very long for either of us to climax, and I collapsed on top of her as I nuzzled my face into her hair. I had just experienced the most connected, intense sex I'd ever had, and I was exhausted. All of a sudden, I could hear my next musical work in my mind - a gentle, vibrant, magical series of vocal pieces for Bella. _I'll call it _La donna bella che scrive poesia e ama appassionatamente, _and I wonder if she'll realize the music is inspired by her when she hears it. She probably will; she's so perceptive._

She rolled me onto my back after a few moments and laid her head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. I could feel her smiling against my chest.

"I can hear what your heart is saying, Edward," she whispered, her fingers doing an intricate ballet on my stomach.

"And what do you hear?" I asked.

"I hear it saying that you love me more than everything else in the world."

"You hear the truth, Isabella." I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, and pulled her closer. "Time to get some sleep now, my sweet. We have a lot of work tomorrow, and I want to get some composing done as well."

"Alright." She reached up to kiss me before snuggling back into my chest. "I love you, Edward Cullen."

"I love you, Isabella Swan. Sleep well."

"Mhmm. You too."

Bella was asleep in moments, but it took me a little bit longer for the notes of my next song cycle to stop swirling around my head. Eventually, though, sleep overtook me, and with it came dreams of the intelligent, beautiful, interesting brunette who had captured my heart and made me feel whole again.

********

**B POV**

_Edward takes my hand and leads me to a room. His skin is so bright, it seems like he is glowing in the darkness. When we enter the room, I realize it is not the same room from previous dreams. He asks, "Do you trust me?" and then kisses the hand he is holding, leading me to the edge of a large hole. Although this is a familiar action, the hole itself is different; it is full of a bright blue light, and I can see that it leads to a street. I yell to Edward that we can't jump down the hole, that we will be jumping to our deaths. He repeats his question and then drops my hand. He removes all of his clothing and stands before me, letting me gaze upon the lean muscles of his legs and strong muscles of his shoulders and stomach. My mind momentarily goes blank, distracted by his beauty and the love welling up inside of my chest. He repeats his question one more time, his voice sounding both more desperate and more seductive. He moves closer to me and starts peeling away the fabric clinging to my skin. Once I am nude before him, he puts his hands on my hips and lifts me, my legs instinctively wrapping around him as he enters me in one swift thrust. He kisses my mouth gently, whispers into my ear, "Here we go," and pulls me down the abyss with him. We are suddenly on the street where I live, and the terror of the dream's usual outcome overtakes me, made even more horrific by the intimate joining of myself and my lover. There is so much blood on his torso, but as I search I cannot find a wound on him. Tears stream down my face in frustration and confusion when he smiles at me, whispers, "My angel," and moves his hand up, pointing at my torso. I look down at myself and see that my midsection is gushing blood, and there is a gaping hole where my heart should be. I collapse into his arms in unimaginable pain, praying for help to come, but comforted in knowing my last moments are with the man I love._

"Bella! Bella, wake up!" Edward exclaimed as he shook my shoulders.

"What's going on?" I asked groggily, confused as to how this part of the dream connected to the other part.

"Sweetie, you were screaming. You said, 'No, we'll fall to our deaths,' and then started sobbing and shrieking and thrashing around. What happened?" Edward's brow was furrowed, concern and fear written in his expression.

"I had a bad dream. It's been recurring, but now it's changed, and you're in it, and…" I couldn't continue. The tears began to flow, and I fell into Edward's waiting arms. His hands smoothed back the hair from my face as he spoke words of comfort and love to me.

"I will never hurt you, and I will never ask you do to anything that could cause you harm. You're much too precious to me. I will do my best to protect you, Bella. You are my heaven-sent angel," he said, but he didn't realize how close his words were to his words in the dream. Fresh sobs emerged from my mouth, and his face looked horrified.

Once I calmed down a small bit, I choked out, "You called me your angel in the dream." His face turned to slate, and I immediately regretted telling him.

"Isabella, it was a dream. Nothing happened. You're safe." His grip tightened on me, and I could feel his desperation to calm me down as if it were a cloud hanging over us.

My sobs slowed and quieted, and eventually Edward released his hold on me. He looked me straight in the eyes while one of his hands moved up to my face and stroked my cheek. "All better?" he asked.

I nodded. "What time is it?" I asked, wondering how much more sleep I could get before lugging all of Rosalie's stuff around.

"It's actually six AM. We're supposed to be getting up at around seven. How about we call it an early morning and go make everyone some breakfast?"

I smiled at him, and my heart did a leap in my chest. Edward was so thoughtful when it came to the ones he cared about, and he knew exactly how to make someone feel better. "How did you know cooking calms me down?"

"Lucky guess. Come on, B, let's make some pancakes." Edward took my hand and pulled me off of the bed. We quickly rummaged through our luggage to find some clothing, and after quickly dressing we headed downstairs to the kitchen.

It took a while to figure out the kitchen's layout, but once we did we began our mission of feeding our friends. Edward's job was pancakes and cinnamon rolls, and I was on bacon and omelet duty. He and I both cut up apples and oranges into slices and arranged them on the plates with yogurt or honey. Edward luckily knew Jasper and Rosalie's food preferences, so I was able to make everyone their own custom breakfast plates.

Just as Edward was finishing with icing for the cinnamon rolls and I slid the last omelet onto its plate, the entire group sauntered down the stairs, bleary-eyed and groggy. I realized that I had no idea when they had come home the night before, and I was kind of curious as to what they did.

"So, how was the rest of your night?" Edward asked them, beating me to the punch. _You win this time, Cullen._

"We ended up going to a restaurant called Katz's and spent three hours there, drinking and talking and eating the most wonderful food. Well, Rosalie didn't drink, since she drove, but she did eat a shit ton of food. By the way, Bella, we need to investigate the Yellow Pages at home and find a twenty-four hour Jewish deli," Alice rambled, acting her usual chipper self. I was a little relieved to see her being so Alice-like, especially since she'd seemed a little subdued after our big blow up. She noticed the plates at the table and asked, "Did you two make us breakfast?"

"Yup," I replied. "All custom made to everyone's personal tastes." I directed everyone to their respective plates, and we began to eat.

"What time did you all get in?" Edward asked before shoveling a heaping forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

"About two AM. We stayed out so much later than we should have. How was the rest of your night?" asked Rosalie as she winked in my direction.

"It was... magical. In fact, I kind of wish it could have lasted a lot longer than it did, since I now have all of your packing to look forward to. Please tell me you're not planning on bringing everything," I said, hoping that the three U-Hauls were not necessary and that Jasper had just over-planned.

"I'm bringing most of my clothes, but the clothing I don't want I'll either give to you and Alice or donate to Goodwill. I'm bringing a lot of the paintings and a little bit of the furniture. Other than that, I'm not sure. I hadn't really thought that much ahead," Rosalie said, her eyes darting across the room as she tried to decide what to bring and what to leave behind.

"Don't worry about it, Rose. We'll make sure there's enough space for everything you want to keep," Emmett said as he flashed a huge grin in Rosalie's direction. She laughed and grasped his hand. I noticed that they were sitting kind of close to one another, and I wondered if maybe they'd started some kind of flirtation while out with Alice and Jasper last night. _Good for Em,_ I thought. _He needs a girl with some fire and spirit, and Rosalie certainly has both._

We finished our food in relative silence after that, the quiet only being broken by a random observation about something in the house or a question to Rosalie about the city. Alice offered to do the dishes, and asked me to help her clear the table while the others began the daunting task of packing Rosalie's belongings.

"I heard you screaming last night, Bella. I figured it wasn't in the heat of passion. Are you having the dream again?" she asked, her face lined with worry.

I sighed. "It's not the same dream anymore. It's changed, become more gruesome, and Edward has taken the place of the stranger. I don't have it often, but when I do, it scares the shit out of me. I have this nagging feeling that the dream is trying to tell me something."

"Dreams don't do that, though, Bella. They're just random flashes your brain creates in order to make sure you stay alive. It's nothing more than that." She hugged me, her wet hands from washing dishes leaving soapy hand prints on the back of my shirt.

"You're probably right. Anyway, can you tell the guys and Rosalie that I'm not going to help for a little bit? I'm going to get my laptop out and write." She nodded, and I went back upstairs to the room Edward and I were sharing.

I had so many thoughts and feelings and fears and joys tumbling around in my head and heart. The only way I could reconcile them and make sense of them was to write them out as a part of my novel and hope that I could gain some insight. So I wrote and wrote until my mind was blank and I felt at peace.

I ended up writing twenty-five pages in two hours. I closed the laptop, wondering if Edward had somehow become my muse as we'd gotten to know and love each other. I stood up, stretched, and left the room in search of my lover so he could tell me what needed to be packed.

* * *

**A/N:** The title of this chapter comes from the song "Love Song" by The Cure.

The Houston Grand Opera is amazing, and I have seen a few productions they have put on, such as _Turandot_ by Puccini (which is wonderful.)

"Sempre libera" is my favorite piece from _La traviata._ There are many, many records of it, so check any of them out (although I have to admit, anything with Luciano Pavarotti's name attached makes me squeal with delight. He's my all-time favorite tenor.)

Katz's is a real restaurant with locations all over the country. Their slogan is "Katz's Never Kloses", and they are absolutely right in that. They are open during Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, New Year's, etc. and so on. I'm a huge fan of their blintzes, potato pancakes, and all of their desserts.

Shout-out to the amazing Edwardville livejournal community. You are all amazing, and I'm so glad to be a part of it all.

Fic rec: I don't do this very often, because I don't have much time to read fics anymore. However, I do want to recommend _Suicide King_ by **RacketGhost.**The story is absolutely fascinating, as is the science to support the theories in the story. The twists and turns are amazingly well thought out, and the entire plot is captivating. It's a science fiction story, which is also highly intriguing to me, since I'm a huge nerd like that. Check it out, if you haven't already.

Reviews make me happy. That's all I can say on that, really.


	21. Chapter 21: The Night Dance

Thanks to R... my dearest love Robert... for indulging this hobby and letting me put some of our personal stuff into the events of this story. You are magnificent, my darling. Thanks to queenofgrey for humoring my obsession with the collaboration we're doing and for not thinking me insane. Thanks to Mac for being a quick editor and for thinking the events of this chapter are funny and not crazy. Thanks to Starrynytex, who is without internet at the moment and was my beta for this chapter in spirit. I love you, darling.

**Announcement: **I am participating in **The Fandom Gives Back** auction. I am auctioning off 3 one-shots for $25 and 1 multiple chapter story for $75 on a first come, first serve basis. There are more details on my profile, or you can visit my auction thread at:

**http://thefandomgivesback**[dot]**proboards**[dot]**com/index**[dot]**cgi?action=display&board=fic&thread=129&page=1**

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer own the right to these characters. I make them find inspiration in love.

* * *

**B POV**

After I'd gotten to a good stopping point, I saved the file and e-mailed it to myself as a backup before shutting down the laptop. I rummaged through my suitcase, found a rubber band for my hair, and pulled it into a messy, high ponytail. I left the room and stepped into the hallway, listening intently to figure out where in the house my friends were located. After a couple of minutes, I decided to check in Rosalie's bedroom.

I opened the door and found Alice sorting a bunch of clothing into four piles on Rosalie's bed. Emmett was taking a huge mirror off the wall, and Jasper was attempting to put the lid on a plastic container filled with what looked to be all sorts of documents. I didn't see Edward or Rosalie anywhere.

"He's downstairs in Royce's office with Rosalie trying to make sense of her pre-nuptial agreement," Alice said, immediately knowing I was searching for Edward. "You can help me organize the clothing. From left to right we have the 'keep' pile, the 'leave here' pile, the 'donate' pile, and the pile of stuff I'm taking and having altered to fit me. Do you want to make a 'Bella' pile, too?"

I chuckled and replied, "No, thanks. I don't think she and I have similar tastes. Take whatever you want, Ali." I went to the closet and gathered up an armful of clothing. Alice directed which pile different garments went into, and I fell into the familiar pattern of letting Alice take the lead. I knew that I was supposed to be more assertive in regards to letting Alice make my decisions for me, but I figured this situation was innocent enough. Besides, I'd spent the first two hours of the packing expedition holed up in the guest room writing, and I knew Alice had formulated her own system for this job.

After about an hour of following Alice's directions and chatting with Emmett and Jasper about the eternal debate of Elvis versus The Beatles, Edward and Rosalie entered the room. I noticed immediately that Rosalie was almost glowing; she looked so giddy. Edward had a small, satisfied smile on his face, and I knew they'd found what they were looking for in Rosalie's pre-nup.

"Royce is such an idiot. He put an infidelity clause into the agreement, and made sure it applied to both of us. I get half of everything if I can prove he's having an affair, and because of Siobhan, I can. I'm going to call my lawyer and fax him the documents so I can get the ball rolling," Rosalie said before turning to go back downstairs.

"Did you go to law school as well as music school, Edward?" I asked. "I'm not seeing your qualifications in helping Rose decipher her legal issues."

"My mother is a lawyer. I picked up a few things from her, and I was always interested in it," he replied with a shrug. "What can I do to help?"

"You can put all of these clothes right here into a box and label it 'Goodwill,'" Alice said, pointing to the donation pile on the bed.

"Or you can help me lug this mirror downstairs," Emmett grunted as he tried to flip the mirror to its other side.

"I think I'll help Emmett," Edward said. He leaned into me and gave me a quick peck on the lips before walking over to help my brother.

We spent hours upon hours reorganizing, packing, and storing things. We took small breaks to eat or get some water, but other than that we kept our focus on the task at hand.

At seven PM Rosalie gathered up our group into the kitchen. "We're done for today. We have two options for the rest of our evening: go out, drink, and have a grand old time, or stay here and chill. Thoughts?"

"I want to go dancing!" Alice exclaimed.

"I want to chill," Jasper said, his eyes giving Alice a weary look.

"I'm game for whatever," I responded with a shrug of my shoulders.

"I'm okay with going out, as long as we eat at some point, too," Edward said as he put a sweaty arm around me.

"Whatever you want, Rosalie," Emmett said with a brilliant grin.

"I think going out wins. Let's go get ready!" she said as she darted up the stairs.

Jasper turned to us and said, "She takes forever to get ready. And if we don't take showers immediately, she'll use all the hot water."

We all looked at each other for a minute and then dashed around the house to search for an available bathroom. Edward and I went to our room and showered together in the adjoining bathroom. Our hands roamed all over each other's bodies, and soon he was pushing me against the tile on the wall.

"Do you think we have time?" he asked breathlessly.

"We always have time," I replied as I captured his lips in mine. Edward reached behind him and switched the water from shower to bath.

"The tub's big enough for us to do this in a more comfortable position," he said with a wink as he lowered himself into the bathtub and pulled me down on top of him. We adjusted in the tub to make sure Edward wasn't blocking the drain and that I didn't bang my head on the water spout before I slid over him easily and set a quick rhythm. His hands slid over my breasts and brushed my nipples as I gave an open-mouthed moan.

His mouth replaced one of his hands around my nipple as he slipped his fingers between us and began to rub slow circles around my clit. His teeth grazed my nipple a little bit, and I gave a loud gasp of pleasure. My hips moved against his even faster, and he began to thrust up against my every downward movement.

"Dear God, Edward," I whispered as I leaned over and pressed my lips against him.

"I love you, Bella. You feel so amazing," he groaned before his mouth attacked mine, his tongue probing and prodding my tongue and my mouth as his fingers pinched my nipple and clit simultaneously. The sensation of my orgasm took me by surprise, and I rode him even harder and faster. I felt him explode hot and fast inside me as the quivering aftershocks of my orgasm began to subside. His arms circled around my waist and pulled my body closer to his, even as he stayed buried inside me.

"I'm never letting you go," he said, his breaths still coming out in pants.

"Good, because I'm not going to let you," I replied with a smile. He reached behind his head and switched the water flow back to shower, and I reluctantly climbed off of him and stood up. Unfortunately, my legs still had not recovered, and my knees wobbled and buckled.

"Bella!" Edward shouted as he caught me awkwardly around my hips and thighs. He was still trying to stand up, so we ended up collapsed in the tub with the water pelting down on my back and his face.

"Ooooowwww," I whined as I tried to disentangle myself from my boyfriend. I tried to stand up and felt victorious when I realized that I could do so without falling this time. I'd bumped my knee, scraped my leg, and bruised my elbow in the fall, and I felt like I'd been hit by a car.

"Are you okay?" he asked me as he scrambled to his feet and inspected me for injuries. "Yikes, that scrape looks bad, sweetie. Did you break anything?"

"No," I answered with a chuckle. "It's just my usual clumsiness. I should have remembered that sex with you turns my knees into Jell-o."

Edward pulled me into a tight embrace. "Please be more careful. I'm holding a lot of important stuff in my arms right now, and I don't want anything bad to happen to it."

"Yes, father, I'll be more careful, and I'll be home before ten," I teased, and he gave me a grin. "That's more like it. The serious face isn't as sexy as the grinning one." I leaned into him and tilted my face up, and his lips met mine gently.

"Come on, Bella, let's get ready for some debauchery," Edward said as he turned off the water and pulled the shower curtain open.

We dressed and readied ourselves in record time, fearing the wrath of Rose. I'd chosen a pair of dark jeans and a red, flowing shirt with a deep V neckline that plunged into my cleavage. My hair was styled in loose waves, and my makeup was glittery and gray, and I paired it with a deep red lipstick. Edward wore a tight-fitting black T-shirt and slightly loose-fitting faded jeans. He looked scrumptious, and he had to physically pull himself from my hungry embrace.

"Bella, we don't have time, and I don't want to be interrupted," he said as he grasped my hand and led me downstairs.

I whimpered, and Edward laughed. "Isabella Marie Swan, don't pout at me. It makes me want to bend you over my knee and spank you," he said.

"Um, no. I don't do the spanking thing. It's just weird and awkward to me. For future reference," I replied with a wink. We got to the kitchen and found Jasper and Alice sitting at the table.

"Oh, sweetie, you look so good!" Alice exclaimed as she popped out of her seat and hugged my neck.

"I've been known to occasionally be able to dress myself, Al. You look super adorable, by the way," I said in response. She was wearing a light blue mini-dress with an empire waist. Her short hair had been curled, and her shoes were simple white flats. She looked innocent, fresh, and absolutely amazing.

"Where's Rosalie? I'd thought for sure Bella and I would be the last ones down here," Edward said, his eyes roaming around the room.

"No idea. Haven't seen Emmett in a while, either," Jasper said as a quizzical expression fell over his face.

"I'll go find them," I said as I ran to the staircase and darted up. I stood at the top of the stairs and listened, wondering if I could hear where Emmett and Rosalie were and chuckling to myself about how this was the second time I'd listened for noise at this spot today. I had a sneaking suspicion, but I wanted to believe my brother would have enough sense not to fuck Jasper's sister until after she'd finalized her divorce.

After a minute of complete silence, I decided to go to Rosalie's room and see if she was in there. I knocked and waited for her to let me in. When I didn't get a response, I slowly and quietly opened the door.

On Rosalie's bed lay my nude brother with an equally nude Rosalie on top of him. She was eating something off of his chest, and it looked a little bit like a slice of turtle cheesecake. It took me a few moments to process what I was watching before I responded.

"What. The. Fuck. Jesu Christe, guys, seriously?!" I screeched. I was almost positive that the others could hear me from downstairs, but I really didn't care at that moment. _My brother is into food during sex. I didn't need to know that. No, Rosalie, don't move, I don't want to see Em's wang! Eeeeewwww!!!_

Emmett placed his hands on Rosalie's thighs to keep her in place, almost as if he could read my mind. "Come on, Bells, you know I can't resist a woman who likes cheesecake," he said calmly.

"_What the fucking hell?!"_ I shrieked. Rosalie looked absolutely mortified, and I could tell she was definitely re-thinking her decision to bone Emmett. I turned around in a daze and walked back downstairs.

"What the hell happened?" Jasper asked me once he saw my face.

"Emmett… Rose… cheesecake… I need some tequila, like now," I said. In seconds, Alice handed me a large glass full to the brim with clear liquid. I chugged about half of the glass.

"Easy, Bella, we don't want to take you to the hospital tonight because of alcohol poisoning," Edward said as he put his arms around me and led me to a chair.

Emmett and Rosalie entered, and an uncomfortable silence filled the room. I made sure to keep my eyes focused on Edward, because if I looked at Emmett or Rose, I was sure I'd start screaming again.

"So, Bella walked in on me and Rose having sex," Emmett said, breaking the silence. "There was cheesecake involved, but I don't get why she's freaking out."

Alice let out a giggle. "Wait, you were having food sex?" she asked.

"Yeah, and?" Emmett said coolly. The room was silent again for about thirty seconds. Then Jasper, Alice, and Edward erupted into raucous laughter. I almost immediately joined them after seeing the confused, slightly fearful look on Rosalie's face.

_I wouldn't trade this crazy group for anything_, I thought as Edward's hand clasped mine tightly in the middle of our laughter. _This is exactly what my life should be._

********

**E POV**

Bella and I slid out of the car and waited for Rosalie to finish parking so we could go into the bar. She'd suggested a place she knew called Sherlock's Pub for our night out, and we followed her lead since she knew the city better than we did.

Granted, after the debacle with Emmett and the cheesecake, some of us were questioning Rosalie's judgment.

I personally was incredibly happy with Rosalie at the moment. After I'd found the infidelity clause in her pre-nuptial agreement, she told me that I could take the Aston Martin with me back to Los Angeles. I was like a kid in a candy store, I was so excited. In fact, she'd already taken care of the arrangements to sign the car over to me, and it would officially be _my_ car tomorrow. I couldn't wait to tell everyone.

I looked over at my girlfriend as she shut the car door and walked towards the bar's entrance seemingly without a care in the world. She looked especially gorgeous tonight, and that color red looked positively sinful against her porcelain flesh. There was a sway to her hips as she walked that I'd never seen before, and I immediately realized that something had given her extreme confidence. I had a sneaking suspicion that something was me, and I was proud and elated to see this tiny bit if evidence that she really did love me.

I followed quickly after her and slid my arms around her waist. She leaned back into me and sighed as we walked together into the bar. We didn't see anyone in the front room, so we moved around to the back and found that our friends had snagged a table right in front of the small stage. There was a band setting up on the stage, and I was curious as to whether they would be playing original music or cover songs.

"I've heard this band a few times," Rosalie stated when we approached the table and sat down on the stools closest to the stage. "They play decent covers of current alt rock stuff, and they tend to play some Tool towards the end of their set."

"Really? I love Tool. Well, anything Maynard Keenan does, really. I'm a tiny bit obsessed," gushed Bella, and I looked at her incredulously.

"You never told me that," I said softly. "I happen to be a huge fan myself." Bella flashed me a brilliant smile, and her eyes looked electric. Granted, her eyes could have been like that because of the tequila she'd consumed at Rosalie's house, but I liked to think it was because she was excited to find out we had even more in common.

"I love Tool!" Emmett exclaimed, ruining our moment.

"Yeah, well, you also like cheesecake sex, so your opinion is skewed," Jasper quipped. "Plus, you decided cheesecake sex with my married sister was a good idea. Not cool, dude."

Emmett looked away sheepishly, got up from his stool, and walked towards the bar, mumbling something about not letting the haters keep him down. Alice and Bella started laughing, and Alice called to him, "Remember drinks for everyone, Em! You know what we like!"

After a few minutes, Emmett came back, followed by a waitress holding a tray of drinks. He'd gotten Bella tequila on the rocks, Alice a Midori sour, Jasper a Jack and Coke, Rosalie a cherry Sprite, me a Coke, and himself a Corona. He'd gotten every single order spot on to our tastes, even those of us who'd opted out of drinking so we could drive home.

Bella gave him a hug and said, "Thank you, Em. You're the best. I promise not to tease you anymore about your weird sexual preferences. Well, tonight, anyway."

He hugged her back and said, "Thanks, little sis. Besides, we all heard you and Eddie going at it last night when we came home. And again earlier tonight while you were showering. We have plenty of ammo stored up in case we need it."

I felt my face grow hot, and when I looked at Bella I saw that her cheeks had turned tomato red. "Fuck," she whispered, and she gripped her glass tightly in both hands and brought it to her lips. The liquid inside was gone in seconds.

She waved over a waitress and ordered another two drinks, and I began to worry. "Isabella, are you okay?" I asked her quietly, trying not to let the rest of the group hear.

"I'm fine," she answered. "I just don't like knowing that everyone heard us having sex. It's embarrassing."

"Yeah, and you walked in on Rose and Emmett food fucking, which is definitely worse. No worries, babe. Besides, I love you, and you love me, and together we'll light the world on fire. Trust me?" I said, extending my hand to her.

She looked down at the table, then at my eyes. She nodded as she took my hand. "Yes, I trust you. And I love you too."

"What did you just say?" Alice asked, her voice reaching pitch levels only dogs and small children could hear.

"I said I love him," Bella responded loudly. "We're in love; get over it, fuckers." She grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my face to hers roughly, her lips and mine colliding together in a deep, passionate kiss. Catcalls and whistles erupted throughout the bar.

"Fucking finally!" Jasper said as he high-fived Emmett. Alice was clapping her hands like a little girl who'd just been given her dream Barbie playhouse. Rosalie just smiled.

"Huh?" Bella said, breaking our kiss.

"You two have been in love from almost day one. We could all see it, but for some reason you two idiots couldn't. We've been taking bets as to when you'd realize it. Jasper just won," Alice explained before taking a sip of her beverage.

"One of these days, Jazz, you will wake up with a shaved stripe down your head," I muttered and I wrapped my arms around my girl. She giggled as she brought her glass to her lips and swallowed a small sip.

The band began to tune up, and my ears immediately slipped into discerning musician mode. After a few checks to make sure all the speakers and lights were working, the band introduced themselves as Audio Adrenaline Takeover. I immediately groaned.

"Issues with the name?" Rosalie asked sweetly. She gave me a slightly devious look, and I realized that I was probably not going to like this band very much.

After the first couple of songs, I knew for a fact that this band was terrible.

Bella, however, didn't realize this. She'd finished the two drinks she'd ordered and was on another one. She'd stood up and was swaying wildly back and forth while the band played "Tyler" by The Toadies. Alice finished off her drink, asked Jasper to get her another, and hopped off her stool and walked over to Bella. Bella grabbed Alice's hands and led her to the small dance floor the bar had in front of the stage. They kept their hands entwined as they moved in close to each other and began to sway their hips in the same undulating patterns. I was mesmerized by the way Bella's ass looked in her jeans and by the kind of trance the two girls were in while they danced. Their eyes stayed focused on the other's eyes, never once straying to look back at the table or around them. They both sang the song, mouths moving in sync like they were casting a spell. Maybe they were, because the entire bar had stopped what they were doing and started watching them.

When the song finished, the lead singer of the band said, "Thank you, and give it up for these two lovely ladies dancing right here!" He pointed to Bella and Alice, and the crowd applauded thunderously for them. The applause for the girls was twice as loud as the applause for the band.

I saw the guitarist wave Bella and Alice over, and he leaned close to Bella's ear to tell her something. I prepared myself to kick his ass, because I was positive that he was asking her to meet him later or something. How could he not, after the sexy show she and Alice had just put on?

"E, chill, he's not asking her out. Look at her, she looks like she's singing something at him," Jasper said. Upon closer inspection, I realized Jasper was right.

"Thanks, J. I was ready to go stake my claim," I replied.

"Like a barbarian. Bella can handle herself. I've known her all of two days and I could see that," Rosalie said from her spot next to Emmett. They'd started the evening sitting far apart, and as time wore on, they scooted closer and closer together, almost as if they were magnets. They couldn't fight the attraction if they wanted to.

"As your pseudo-lawyer, Rosalie, I have to advise against sleeping with Emmett again. You don't want to be unfaithful before the divorce proceedings have started, because you'll lose your claim on your half," I said matter-of-factly. She looked over at Emmett, pleaded to him with her eyes, and looked back to me. Emmett sighed and moved his stool away from Rose.

"Cock-blocking motherfucker," Emmett mumbled as he downed the rest of his beer.

"Cheesecake-eating sister fucker," Jasper responded.

Bella and Alice bounded over to us, and Bella threw her arms around my neck and kissed my face all over. "The guys in the band have accepted a few requests. I hope you like them!"

The singer of the band said into the microphone, "The next three songs are dedicated to Alice and Bella for dancing so nicely together for us." The opening melody of the song "Chop Suey" by System of a Down began, and Bella grabbed my arm and pulled me to the dance floor.

We jumped, gyrated, shook, and head-banged like two teenagers. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and even Rosalie joined us on the dance floor, and we all slammed around each other, screaming the lyrics. I sang the harmony over everyone, and Bella joined me after a second.

The song ended, and we all stopped our jumping so we could catch our breaths. The next song started off slow, and I couldn't figure out what it was for a few seconds. Bella sang every single word, and she, Alice, and Rosalie began to dance together in a circle, arms twirling in circles above their heads. Once the song picked up, though, I realized that the band was playing "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers. Emmett, Jasper, and I backed away from the girls and returned to the table, watching the three women hop, sway, and swivel to the music. At the breakdown in the middle, the girls fanned out into a line facing the rest of the bar as they did hip dipping moves back and forth. It looked like they'd choreographed it, but I knew for a fact that they'd never done this before. The entire bar sang, "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier" with them.

"Rose fits in great with them," Jasper mused, and Emmett and I agreed with him.

"She was the missing piece of the group," I replied.

"Jasper, I like her. A lot," Emmett said.

I laughed. "We know. We figured you wouldn't have shared your dessert otherwise," Jasper quipped.

"Fuck, guys, lay off!"

The song ended, and the last of the ones Bella and Alice had chosen began. After the first few notes, I recognized that it was "Somewhere a Clock Is Ticking" by Snow Patrol. Bella, Alice, and Rosalie came back to the table only to pull us guys from our stools, grab the stools, and move them towards the edge of the dance floor in a spaced-out line. They began to dance again in the center of the floor, a hypnotic circling of hips as their arms slid up and down their bodies. I sang the song under my breath, wondering how accurate some of the lyrics were in terms of Bella. After a little bit, the girls danced over to us and began to move in front of and against us.

Bella leaned over and pressed her lips to my ear. "I could do most anything to you," she sang in breathless, seductive tones. Her hands were sliding up and down my thighs, and I wanted to throw her down onto the dance floor, rip the jeans from her body, and take her in front of the entire bar. _The little minx definitely chose her music well._

Her body dropped down towards the floor, and I realized she'd done a little dip, her knees spread wide as she slowly slid back up my body. She turned around and did the same move again, but this time her ass was sliding up my body at a torturously slow pace.

At the quiet interlude of the song, Bella moved away from me back to the center of the dance floor. She, Alice, and Rosalie began to grind on each other, mouths so close together they looked as if they might start making out with each other at any second. They were definitely putting on a show for the entire bar, and everyone in the crowd was eating out of their hands.

I looked over at Jasper and Emmett and noticed they weren't as affected by this scene of pseudo-lesbianism as I was. _The fact that they each have a sister participating might have something to do with it, genius._

The song ended, and the bar was silent. Then the cheers and applause started. The girls bowed and waved, then quickly returned back to the table. The band announced they were taking a five minute break, and they left the stage.

"Let's get out of here," Bella said. "After that, I'm pretty sure that if we stay, we'll be obligated to keep dancing."

"I agree. Let me say goodbye to the guys in the band and let them know I'm not coming back for a while," Rosalie said as she walked away.

"I'm coming with you," Emmett declared, and he followed her quickly.

"You're pretty fucking amazing, you know that, right?" I said to Bella.

"Of course I know. And you're lucky to have me. Now let's get out of here so I can fuck you silly," she said as she downed the last of her tequila.

She didn't have to tell me twice.

* * *

**A/N:** The title for this chapter comes from the poem "The Night Dance" by Thomas Moore.

In the debate of Elvis vs. the Beatles, I always argue Beatles. However, I'm also a big believer in the "To Each His Own" philosophy.

Sherlock's Pub is a real place. I go to the one on West Gray near the River Oaks Theatre in Houston frequently whenever my Robbie's in town. It's a decent bar, and the bands that play there tend to do decent covers. Except the band that played on Halloween. They were just abysmal.

I am incredibly obsessed with Maynard Keenan. His voice does interesting things to me. Everything in the A Perfect Circle catalog is recommended.

"Tyler" by The Toadies, as well as their song "Possum Kingdom", have special places in my heart. I grew up with these two songs in the background of various childhood events. My mom is a fan.

"Chop Suey" by System of a Down is great to slam around to when you have a bad day. Or a good day. Or just feel like slamming. I'm eagerly awaiting the lead singer's_ Prometheus Bound_ musical written with the librettist who did _Spring Awakening._

"All These Things That I've Done" was a part of the soundtrack for my high school graduation and my college graduation. I love The Killers.

"Somewhere a Clock Is Ticking" by Snow Patrol is another favorite. It's also probably one of the sexiest songs in the world to me.

For those who are wondering... yes, tequila is my alcoholic beverage of choice.

Thanks to the Edwardville lj community for their continued support of this story. Thanks to the Skype girls and the Twitter gang (you all know who you are.)

Special thanks to those of you who are still sticking with this story. Your kind words and encouragement make my heart sing.

P.S. - I'm on Twitter. My name there is rhpsfaerie. I post sometimes about writing, but more often about my job and the stupid things my students do. Come check me out!


	22. Chapter 22: A Beautiful Lie

Thanks to Rob for allowing me to force him to see _New Moon_ with me on Saturday. You're a trooper, my love. Thanks to Mac for being speedy and awesome. Thanks to Britt for editing even though she's been sick the past couple of days. I heart my Starry friend.

**Announcement**: I still have one more one shot left in my **Fandom Gives Back** auction. It's $25, and the cause is amazing. Please contribute, even if you don't agree with some of the things the people who run it do. My auction link is as follows:

**http://thefandomgivesback**[dot]**proboards**[dot]**com/index**[dot]**cgi?board=fic&action=display&thread=129**

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the rights to these characters. I like to make them dance.

* * *

**E POV**

The next morning I awoke with a start as Bella's nude form shifted against me.

"Edward? Are you awake?" she whispered as she rolled over to face me, her hand stroking my cheek.

"I am now," I whispered, the smile spreading across my face as I felt her breasts brush against my chest. _God, Cullen, you're such a lovesick, horny fool._

"I have something to ask you," she said, the volume of her voice rising a little so that she was murmuring instead of whispering.

"Go for it," I replied as I turned my head and kissed the fingertips that were stroking my face.

"After we get Rosalie settled in when we get back to L.A., I want to take you up to Forks to meet my dad," she said as she looked up at me, her eyes looking really round and innocent.

I kissed the tip of her nose. "That wasn't really a question, but I'd love to meet your dad. Now, let's get downstairs and see what Rose wants out of us today."

We crawled out of bed, hurried into the bathroom to brush our teeth, and quickly dressed in jeans and t-shirts. Bella piled her hair into a high ponytail, and I couldn't resist kissing the skin of her neck that was left exposed. She swatted at me and laughed.

"Come on, E, we've gotta get this done so that we can get back to reality," she said as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"My love, we don't have a reality. We live the artist's life, you and I… we're always in our own little worlds," I replied as I pulled her even closer. Our lips meet in the briefest of brushes before she pulled away and headed out of the room and down the stairs. I hummed to myself the main motif of the songs I wanted to compose for Bella. I desperately needed to get to my computer or find some staff paper so I could jot the notes down, but I also didn't want to spend a single waking moment away from the girl who inspired the music. I knew I just had to wait until I got home before I could let the notes burst free.

When I got downstairs I saw that everyone else was already awake and eating. Two plates heaped with bagels, muffins, and various fruit awaited me and Bella at the table. The four people there were discussing Rosalie's living arrangements in Los Angeles.

"We have that extra room right next to mine. She can have that," Emmett mumbled around a full mouth.

"There's no way I'm giving up my piano room," Bella said with a wink to me as we sat down at our places at the table. I winked back, remembering the amazing sex we'd had up against the piano. Honestly, it was the most fun I'd ever had in my entire life involving a piano, and I sure as hell loved to play that instrument.

"There's not an extra room at the apartment, or else I'd just say she could live there," Jasper said, looking all of a sudden a little saddened. I wondered how exactly Jasper felt about this whole Rosalie situation, and I made a mental note to talk to him about it another time.

"I could get my own place," Rosalie said after taking a sip of orange juice. "I have money, and I'm pretty confident that I can get some kind of employment somewhere."

"I could always move in with Jasper, Edward could move into my room, and Rosalie could move into Edward's room," Alice said as she slowly buttered her bagel. A silence fell over the group as we all stared at her. "What?"

"That actually sounds like a good plan, Al," Bella said. "As much as I would hate to lose you in my house, I wouldn't mind having Edward around all the time."

"Honestly, Ali, I was planning on asking you to move in with me soon anyway," Jasper said sheepishly. This was something else he hadn't told me. _Where the hell have I been the past few weeks?_

"What do you think, Edward?" Alice asked expectantly. It seemed that the decision lay with me.

I thought about it for a moment. As much as I loved Bella and wanted to spend every waking hour with her, I was pretty sure that this moving in together thing, even if we were in separate rooms, was a huge step that was coming a bit too fast. On the other hand, I also wanted to make sure that Rosalie had a place to stay that was comfortable, and I wanted to help make this transition in her life as easy as possible. I needed a minute to think about it and told the group so as I stood up from the table and went outside into the backyard.

I hadn't been out here yet, but I wasn't surprised to see that it was perfectly manicured to Rosalie's taste. There were bushes upon bushes of roses in every color imaginable lining the sides of the house. The huge magnolia tree in the far right corner of the yard hung over a massive swimming pool that was crystal clear and free of any insects or leaves. There was a small area of grass that had been cleared to look like a putting green near the house, and next to that was a large, stainless steel grill and a bar area. Right in front of the back door was a set of black, wrought iron patio furniture decorated with a pattern of roses.

I walked around the perimeter of the pool and sat down near the edge, twirling my fingers in the water in figure eight patterns and thinking about all the twists and turns the past weeks had brought me.

In the span of a month, I'd met an amazing woman with whom I connected on every level. She was intelligent, thoughtful, and interesting, and physically we fit together perfectly. I'd broken through whatever mental block had kept me from composing for the past five years, and I was almost positive that it was because of Bella. Somehow she'd made me forget about the pain Tanya caused and instead helped me focus on the good things in my life. I'd gained some interesting, slightly eccentric but well-meaning friends in Emmett and Alice, and I'd reconnected with my oldest (and only) friend. I'd done things I'd never dreamt of before. I saw a future ahead of me, and in this vision playing out before me, the only certain thing I saw was Bella.

And that was when I realized that I absolutely wanted to move into her house.

Almost as if she could read my mind, Bella opened the back door and stepped into the backyard. I walked over to her quickly and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I want to move in with you, Isabella. I want to do this... if you'll have me," I said as I peppered her face with kisses.

She giggled, threw her arms around my neck, and pulled me into a deep, soul-stirring kiss full of promises and plans and, most importantly, love.

That was when we heard a loud, booming voice from inside the house yell, "What the fuck is going on here, Rosalie?!"

Bella and I looked at each other for a moment before sprinting towards the house.

********

**B POV**

My mind was completely unable to process the last three minutes.

I'd just gone from complete ecstasy caused by Edward's agreeing to move into my house to complete fear as I saw Royce King in all his rage-filled glory screaming at Rosalie in the middle of their living room.

"Honestly, Rose, why the fuck would you leave me, anyway? It's not like you can make any money for yourself. You don't look as good as you did five years ago, so you won't be able to book modeling jobs, and you have no skills to speak of, so you won't be able to get work anywhere else. Unless you're planning on whoring yourself. And to tell you the truth, I always figured you for that type," Royce jeered, and Jasper stepped in front of his sister.

"Dude, let her worry about herself. She's coming to Los Angeles with us, and she's filing for a divorce. You can't stop her," Jasper said.

"The hell I can't! She's my _wife_, you dickwad. I can do whatever the hell I want with her," Royce replied as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, like cheat on me, which is in direct violation of the pre-nuptial agreement we both signed before our marriage was finalized. I have perfectly logical grounds for divorcing your ass, and I get half," Rosalie said, pushing Jasper out of the way and stepping about a foot away from Royce's face. I looked over at Edward, and his eyes told me that if Royce were to come at Rose in any sort of violent manner, he'd be on the bastard in a second.

"You only get half if you can prove it, and I doubt you had the hotel maids scouring for my used condoms." Royce looked completely confident in his assumptions, and I braced myself for Rosalie's finishing blow.

"I have proof. I have photographic evidence of you fucking your whore on the desk of your London office lifted from surveillance tapes. I have photos of you leaving hotels with her and company receipts for all of the shit you've bought her. Siobhan gave me all the evidence I needed. She even told me that your whore was willing to submit the baby for a paternity test to prove you're the father. Oh, and don't bother getting the board to fire dear Siobhan, because her resignation letter should be on your desk this afternoon. I'm done with this, Royce, and I'm done with you." Rosalie turned around to walk away, but Royce grabbed her arm and pulled her against him.

"You're not going anywhere, you stupid fucking bitch," he said as he lifted his arm, preparing to strike her.

Emmett lunged at the man and landed a solid punch in the center of his face. Royce's grip on Rose's arm slackened, and Jasper pulled her away and into his arms. Royce collapsed on the ground, howling in pain.

"You mother fucker!" he exclaimed over and over again.

"More like cheesecake-eating sister-fucker," Edward mumbled, and he and Jasper immediately started giggling. I tried my best to stifle my laugh, but seeing Alice squirming in her attempts not to chuckle made me lose it. We all started howling, and even Rosalie cracked a smile.

"What the fuck is wrong with you people?!" Royce shouted at us as he stood up. "And you, you bastard…" he said as he started to prepare an attack on Emmett.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I said to him. "You won't stand a chance." _Especially since Emmett's been weight-lifting and practicing mixed martial arts since he was fifteen._

"We'll see about that," he grumbled as he took a step towards my brother. Emmett wound up and punched him in the stomach before turning and lifting his leg, kicking Royce in the same spot he'd punched him two minutes earlier. Royce went down like a sack of potatoes.

"Is he unconscious?" Alice asked as she peered around Jasper's shoulder.

Emmett bent down and shook Royce on the shoulder before saying, "Yeah, he's out. What do you say we leave right now? Do you have everything you need packed, Rose?"

She looked at Royce's prone form on the ground for a moment, then looked up at Emmett and replied, "Yeah, I do. He wasn't supposed to be home this early. I wonder how he knew I was up to something."

"Who knows? The good thing is that we were here to help you out," Jasper said as he hugged his sister close to him. Rosalie's head fell to his shoulder, and she began to sob from what I assumed was a delayed reaction to the situation.

Jasper led her to the couch and sat down, murmuring words of comfort as she wept into his shirt.

"I'm going to go upstairs and pack everyone's stuff up," Alice said before she turned and sprinted up the stairs.

Edward and I looked at each other, not quite sure what to do. I decided to follow Alice and see what else she thought needed to be done, so I made my way up the stairs and into the room I'd been sharing with Edward. I had just finished putting all of my toiletries into the plastic bag I'd packed them in when I heard the door open behind me.

"Hey," Edward said as he awkwardly came into the room. He looked at his belongings that I'd piled onto the bed and then back at me. "Need any help?"

"I'm almost done with our stuff. Why don't you go into Emmett's room and get his things together?" I said as I zipped my luggage closed.

"Alice got it already. She finished packing her and Jasper's stuff too. All of Rosalie's stuff is already downstairs in the U-Hauls. I guess we're ready to head out." An uncomfortable silence fell on us.

My mind was having a hard time wrapping itself around all that had just happened. I'd never seen such anger, such blind rage, before in a man. Well, except for James. It was almost as if Royce wasn't human anymore, but instead a crazed, feral predator. I'd been terrified, but I didn't realize it until this moment because I'd been too wrapped up in the moment to notice. I was too busy watching the scene unfold to feel my fear. My body began to shake as the realization of how much I was afraid for Rosalie combined with the memories of James sank in, and Edward was holding me in an instant.

"Shhh, sweetie, it's okay," Edward comforted as he stroked my hair. He helped me sit on the bed and rocked me back and forth for a few minutes. Then we heard the door open.

"Hey, we need to –" Alice started to say before she realized what was going on. "Bella? Are you okay?"

"She's having a delayed nervous reaction," Edward whispered over the top of my head to her. "She'll be okay in a second. Will you bring up a muffin and a Coke for her?"

"Sure thing. Just remember we need to leave in about fifteen minutes," Alice said as she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

I looked up at Edward's concerned face. "I'm fine, really. I promise," I said as I tried my best to make my voice sound even and clear.

"No, you're not. You're going into shock a little bit. Was the situation with Royce that hard for you?" Edward asked.

"It reminded me of James a lot," I replied as I pulled away from his embrace and looked down at my lap.

"How so?" Edward's hands moved to cradle my face, forcing me to look up at him. His expression was one of deep concern and slight curiosity, and the depth of love I saw in his eyes, the unwavering strength of his feelings for me, let me know that I could really tell him anything.

"The hatred in his expression, the all-consuming rage in his words and his voice… I never understood how someone could be so angry, so crazed for something so simple. I mean, I understand he was probably upset about coming home to find his wife was leaving him, but to react that way seemed so unnecessary. He said such hurtful things to her, like he was intentionally trying to destroy her, and it makes no sense because he claims to love her. I just don't understand people, I guess." I sighed and let myself lean into Edward's chest.

"I don't get the motivations of a lot of people, either. Let's promise each other to always be upfront about our feelings and intentions, okay? That way we'll always know that there's at least one person who's being sincere in our lives." He put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me even closer, his hand rubbing gently up and down my upper arm.

"I'm game for it, Cullen. I need something reassuring. Even Alice isn't as much of a rock in my life as she used to be. Thanks for being here."

"Thanks for loving me."

"Thanks for loving me back."

"Thanks for being adorably sappy enough to make me forget the asshole who Emmett beat down," Rosalie said from our doorway. Edward and I hadn't heard her enter, so we both jumped when we heard her voice.

"Jesus, Rose, knock once in a while!" Edward said as he stood up. I followed his action, not quite sure what to do. I was still worried and concerned about Rosalie, but not quite sure if I should be or if it was my place.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Alice got distracted by Jasper loading the U-Haul shirtless. She sent me up here to bring Bella some food. You okay?" she asked me.

"I'm fine. The scene downstairs just reminded me of something, and I freaked out. I'm sorry. Are _you_ okay?" I asked her, stepping closer to her tentatively just in case she didn't want any extra attention.

"I'm fine. He's yelled like that before. When he found out about the infertility thing, he screamed and ranted for three hours. I finally just got up and left the house. He's never raised a hand like he's going to hit me, though. I think he did that just for show."

"Wrong thing to do. Emmett doesn't stand for violence against women. In fact, that's the thing he hates most in the world. Well, that and broccoli."

Rosalie laughed. "I'm glad he was here, then. I'm glad all of you are here. Thanks, really. Oh, here's your food!" She handed me the muffin and the Coke bottle.

"Thanks. We'll be downstairs in a minute. Is everything else packed?"

"Yup. Edward, you and Bella should take the Aston Martin. I figured you'd like the companionship on the drive, and if you leave it open to discussion, Emmett and Jasper will fight to the death for that passenger spot." Rosalie left the room, her golden hair bouncing behind her. I, however, was more focused on what she said.

"She's taking that car with her?" I asked Edward.

He turned away from me and said, "Um, she gave me the car for helping her find a way out of the marriage and still be able to keep some of her stuff."

"What?!" I screeched. I was sure the pitch of my voice could have only been heard by dogs, it was so shrill.

"She gave me the car. It's not a big deal," he said as he lifted his bag onto the bed and started packing away his belongings.

"It's not that she gave you a car, it's that she gave you a fucking Aston Martin." His eyebrows rose up. "And don't act like you're so surprised I know about cars; Emmett's a gear-head and Jake does car repairs all the time for extra cash. I've lived a life surrounded by men. I know what kind of money that car costs."

"Rose is like that, Bella. It doesn't mean anything except that she was grateful." He zipped up the bag. 'Come on, let's go downstairs. And eat that muffin! You need to raise your blood sugar, I think." He picked up his luggage and mine and headed to the door. I followed quickly behind.

********

**E POV**

Bella and I left Rosalie's house and drove away from Houston feeling confident in our love for one another and uncertain about pretty much everything else concerning human nature. The situation between Rosalie and Royce was tense at best, and we were all witnesses to her husband's biggest flaws. Bella's reaction to their argument almost broke my heart. I couldn't imagine such a wonderful person being mistreated, let alone hit by someone who claimed to love her. It made me incredibly disillusioned with the state of humanity the more I thought about things.

The highway stretched before us, and we spent the entire drive home listening to music, singing along with the radio, and making stupid jokes. We stopped at the same town we did during our trip to Houston and slept at the same hotel. This time, though, we decided to get two rooms, Jasper and Alice sharing one and me, Bella, Emmett, and Rosalie sharing the other. Emmett, like the last time, slept on a cot so he could be a gentleman and not try to take advantage of Rosalie. I didn't really understand why until the next day when Jasper pulled me aside as we were gassing up our respective vehicles.

"I'm worried about Rose, E," he said in a low, soft voice.

"Why?" I asked.

"When she got into the U-Haul with me, she completely broke down. Started crying and didn't stop for hours. I've never seen her cry like that before, man. I'm afraid she's more affected by this whole divorce and that last argument with Royce than she's letting on. You know how Rose likes to play strong. I asked Emmett to give her some space last night just in case." Jasper started to walk around to the driver's side of the van. "Just keep an eye on her for a while when we get back to L.A., and do what you can to help her out if you think she needs it."

"Will do." Jasper opened the door, and I finished up with the gas pump and followed suit. I drove on, thinking about how much certain events in our lives can change who we are as a person. I remembered how much I had changed myself as a person and a musician for Tanya, and how I gave up being a musician because of the heartbreak she put me through. I thought about how Bella was so desperate to find someone who would love and take care of her that she clung to the first person who showed her attention, even though he ended up being destructive and abusive. I thought of Alice and the things she'd been through, things so horrible that they were rarely spoken of. I thought about how our parents shaped us, and how our teachers shaped us, and I wondered how much of the person I've become was because of my own doing instead of based on the circumstances of my life.

_Way to ignore conversation and get too much in your head, man. Might as well call you Edward Nietzsche. _

When we finally arrived back in Los Angeles, I decided to sleep at Bella's house. Rosalie and Jasper each took a U-Haul back to the apartment, and Alice decided to go over there with them. The second we walked in the door, Bella, Emmett, and I shuffled in and collapsed on whatever surface looked comfortable. For Bella and me, it was her bed. For Emmett, it was the floor next to the couch in the living room.

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

_Bella and I are walking hand in hand down the street near her house, talking about Wagner's musical writings and _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_. She steps ahead of me and in front of me, wrapping her arms around my neck, going on tiptoe and kissing me, a flash of soft lips and sweet tongue. "I love you so, so much," she says to me, and I reply, "As I love you." All of a sudden I hear a screeching noise. Before I can register what is happening, a van comes careening towards us. I turn Bella's body around, trying to protect her from the inevitable impact, but I am too late. She is struck, and I feel my heart dropping to the floor. I rush to her side as she lies bent and broken on the concrete. Blood is gushing out of a wound on her stomach, and I frantically press my hands on top of the wound. I feel a foreign, squishy sensation, and I try my best not to think about what I could possibly be touching and instead focus on comforting my Bella. "Edward, I'm sorry," she says. "I love you more than anything. Please hold me now." I pull her up a little and try to embrace her while trying not to make her injuries worse. "I love you, Bella, so don't you dare leave me!" I say as I try to hold back my tears. I'm panicking as I feel the life draining from her. I start to scream for help, desperate for someone to find us and help my love before she dies. I hear a maniacal laugh behind me, and I know that whoever hit Bella is mocking me, taking pleasure in knowing they have caused two deaths. I turn my head to see who would want to do such a thing, and I see – _

"Edward!" Bella shouted as she shook my shoulders, stirring me from my nightmare.

"Wha?" I said groggily, not quite sure what was happening. Then I remembered the dream and grasped Bella tightly to my chest.

"Edward?" she asked timidly.

"I had a bad dream, is all. I'm okay. I love you." I kissed the top of her head and her forehead.

"I love you, too. What time is it?"

I looked over at the clock on her nightstand. "It's one in the afternoon."

"I'm going to go call my dad and see if he wants us to come visit him this weekend. I know it's short notice and only a couple of days away, but I really want to go see him. I just have this strange feeling, like I need to see him now."

I remembered the dream and shivered involuntarily. I put a fake smile on my face, determined to make sure she didn't see that I was really shaken up, and said, "Sounds great to me. I can't wait to meet him." She left the room, and I was alone with the thoughts that wouldn't seem to go away. I knew that, for some reason, I needed to be extra protective of Bella if I wanted to make sure my heart stayed intact.

* * *

**A/N:** The title of this chapter comes from the song "A Beautiful Lie" by 30 Seconds to Mars.

Richard Wagner was a musical genius with some ideological beliefs that I absolutely do not agree with. His operas are amazing and complex, and I love them. Except the incest parts, those are just awkward.

_The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_, and its sequel _The Girl Who Played with Fire_ by Stieg Larsson are new favorites of mine. I've never read mystery stories quite like these, and they are absolutely enthralling in their descriptions, pacing, and overall storyline.

Shout-out as always to the Edwardville lj community. Your continued support makes me happy to know you all! Also, I'm really excited to have met a bunch of new people in the fandom over the past couple of weeks. You all rock!

I'm on Twitter: rhpsfaerie. Follow me and learn when/what I'm writing, how much I hate my job, or other random tidbits.


	23. Chapter 23: The Road and the End

Thanks to R. for reading and editing even though he's sick right now. Thanks to Mac for making sure I don't look like a complete grammar novice. Thanks to Britt for taking time out of her boyfriend's visit to edit for me. Thanks to Jes for not being mad that I couldn't deliver a birthday one shot because of my job's insanity.

Note to my readers – I'm sorry it took so long to get this updated. I have a long list of excuses, such as being a music teacher and this being a crazy time of year for me and my students in terms of programs and performances, doing holiday stuff for my family, etc. and so on, but that doesn't change the fact that I haven't been writing. I hope that things lighten up in the new year and that I can post more frequently, but I have no idea of knowing what will happen. Just know that I do intend to finish this story and to keep writing more stories in the future as long as it remains fun for me. Thank you to those who have stuck through this patch with me, and to the new readers I've gained since my last update. You make me want to drop everything at work and write so that I can make you guys happy.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is not dead, but she gets the money from these characters. I just do my best to make them cute, interesting, and have lots of sex.

* * *

**E POV**

Before I knew it, it was Friday morning, and Bella and I were packing up to head to Forks. The gang reassured us that while we were gone they'd pack and unpack everything that needed to be moved between Bella's house and Jasper's apartment.

As I helped Bella pack, I noticed the iPod I'd let her borrow lying on the nightstand. I wondered how she'd been enjoying the music on it and made a note to ask her when we had a moment.

Unfortunately, I didn't get much opportunity to speak with her until we were on the road. Between the goodbyes to our friends, the hectic checking and re-checking to make sure we had everything, and the quickie in the bathroom just before we packed up Bella's car, there just wasn't any time for conversation. I'd planned to bring up the iPod and what she'd been listening to the second we got into the car, especially since we hadn't really talked much since the night of the love confessions, but as soon as we hit the highway headed north, Bella fell asleep in the passenger seat. I was kind of expecting it since she'd asked me to drive so she could rest, stating she hadn't been sleeping very well. I was a little disappointed she conked out so quickly, but I didn't have the heart to wake her because of my own selfish desires. Besides, she looked adorable and innocent wrapped up in her Falkor hoodie and curled into a ball on the reclined seat.

I spent the time Bella was asleep listening to Simon and Garfunkel and thinking about the piece of music I was composing for Bella. In the span of the past few days, I'd finished about half of it and was eager to continue it the next free moment I got. I found it very interesting whenever I pulled my laptop out to work on it, Bella jumped on her computer and wrote more of her novel. It seemed to me I was inspiring her just as much as she was inspiring me. I hoped that was the case, anyway.

Bella stirred a little as I was thinking, and I smiled at the way her nose crinkled as she let out a soft sigh and stretched her arms. Then she curled up into a ball again and fell back asleep. A few minutes after she slipped into slumber, she began to snore very softly. The sound was kind of cute in how it was soft and delicate, much like the person who was making it.

I changed Simon and Garfunkel to Led Zeppelin, and Bella woke up almost immediately.

"Are you trying to tell me something, E?" she asked groggily as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"What do you mean?" I said.

"'Wanna whole lotta love'? Should I take the hint, or are you doing this subconsciously?" she winked at me as she reached over the median between our seats and placed a hand on my upper thigh.

I swallowed and tried not to notice how close to my junk her hand was. "I just like Led Zeppelin. I can turn the song if you want."

"Nah, I want to hear Robert Plant have an orgasm on tape first." She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "After this song, I want to hear 'Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You' and 'Hey, Hey, What Can I Do.' If you don't mind."

"Not at all, my love." We drove on, listening to Robert Plant's wails and Jimmy Page's intricate guitar melodies. Bella and I sang along, laughing at each other when we got off-key or messed up the words. I marveled at how well out personalities matched, and I was positive that this girl was not only the love of my life, but also the best friend I could ever have. I hadn't laughed so hard in my entire life the way I laughed on that drive to Forks with my incredible girlfriend.

After another seven hours, Bella said, "Let's stop here for the night, unless you want to drive on through to Forks."

"When is your father expecting us?" I asked.

"I actually told him we might stop off for the night in Medford. We're about twenty minutes away from there. What do you think?"

"I think we can power on through, but would you mind driving for a while? This is your car after all."

"Not a problem. You're looking a bit tired, anyway."

We pulled over at a McDonald's, got some milkshakes, and switched spots. I snuggled into the passenger seat and listened to Bella sing along softly to "Whispering" from _Spring Awakening._ I was asleep in minutes.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

I looked over at Edward and smiled when I saw he was asleep. He looked innocent and full of wonder while he slept, almost as if he were a child seeing snow for the first time or something like that. The sight made me love him even more.

I was kind of nervous for Edward to meet my father. Even though I was confident the two men I loved most would get along, I hoped Charlie wouldn't be overly harsh on Edward. Knowing Charlie, he'd be cleaning a rifle on the kitchen table when we walked in the door.

Still, I was grateful for Charlie's protective nature. When all of the stuff with James was going on, he came down to Los Angeles and slept on the couch of the apartment I shared with Alice for weeks. He wanted to make sure no one messed with "his two girls" again. I knew if it weren't for him, the restraining order for James wouldn't have been put in effect anywhere near as fast as it had been. Charlie had always been my knight in shining armor, and I was kind of worried he would view Edward, his possible replacement, as a threat.

Edward slept for three hours while I drove. The entire time I listened to his iPod on shuffle, grateful I'd chosen a car with an auxiliary plug for mp3 players. I did my best to keep the music quiet, but I couldn't help myself when Queen came on. Unfortunately, my love for "Bohemian Rhapsody" woke Edward up.

"I'm sorry," I said, trying to make my face as apologetic as possible. I was really kind of pissed at myself for being so selfish.

"It's okay," he grumbled as he stretched his arms straight up and arched his back. His shirt lifted up over his stomach, giving me a glimpse of his lean, tight stomach. It took extreme force of will to turn my attention back to the road.

"So, are you nervous about meeting my dad?" I asked in an attempt to start a conversation. Edward and I hadn't really spoken much since our love revelations, and I kind of missed the easy conversation we'd had the entire time we'd known each other.

"A little bit. He's a police officer, right?" he asked as he straightened up the passenger seat and grasped my right hand tightly.

"Yes, he's the police chief, actually, and has been ever since I was two years old. I hope that doesn't intimidate you!" I teased, squeezing his hand.

"God, Bella, way to make me feel confident about this whole thing. It's bad enough I'm going to be meeting the father of the woman I'm in love with."

"And the woman you boink on a regular basis," I interjected.

"Exactly! He's going to know that, because I can't hide shit like that from my facial expression. And then he'll murder me and hide my body in your basement."

"We don't have a basement; it rains too much in Forks for that. And he won't murder you; he'll love you. Just show him you have the best of intentions and you aren't going to hurt me."

"How do I do that?" His brow was furrowed even more than usual. I leaned over and kissed his forehead quickly before turning my eyes back to the highway stretched before me.

"By being you. He'll think you're great within the first ten minutes. Trust me."

"I do. Let's change the subject, please. I don't want to think about my impending doom anymore."

"Alright. Let's talk about… I know! What are you composing right now? Whenever I see you at a computer, you have a music program open, and you always have the most intense facial expressions. Is it something major?"

His looked a little shocked. "It is, in fact. I was hoping to surprise you, but I guess it's out of the bag now." He sighed. "It's a song cycle. About you."

I was silent. I kept opening my mouth to say something but then closed it before words could come out. I had no idea how to respond. I was flattered and confused and excited he would write something about me, that I had inspired him. After what seemed like an eternity I finally asked, "Why?"

He thought for a moment, then blurt out, "Because you're amazing and beautiful and I love you more than anything. You're my perfect muse."

I turned toward him and flashed a bright smile. "I bet you use that line on all the girls."

"Only the ones that matter. Which means just you, Isabella Swan."

My felt full of love and wonder for the man next to me as I turned my attention back on the highway. "That was a bit sappy, even for you, Cullen," I responded, trying not to let him see how much he was affecting me. I picked up the iPod and handed it to him. "By the way, it's your turn to pick the music."

He flipped through the selections, pondering in silence as we drove past pine tree after pine tree. Finally, he got out his other iPod, obviously deciding on something. He hooked it up and immediately turned to the piece he was searching for.

"E, is this the song from the British Airways commercials?" I asked, curious as to what Edward's explanation would be.

He laughed. "Yes, this is 'The Flower Duet' from the opera _Lakme_. It's one of my favorites."

"The harmonies of the two women together are really nice. Almost ethereal."

We spent the rest of the drive talking about different composers, listening to pieces from different choral works and operas, and discussing what we liked and didn't like about each of the pieces. I kind of felt a little stupid at some points because of some of the musical terms Edward used, but I don't think he realized he was doing it, so I didn't bring it up. I just chalked it up to me being super sensitive for silly reasons.

Finally, as my eyelids were starting to droop, I realized we were about five minutes away from Charlie's house. I looked over at Edward, who had fallen back asleep thirty minutes prior. I hated the idea of waking him, but I knew he'd want to be a little bit coherent when meeting my father for the first time.

I shook his shoulder and said quietly, "Edward, wake up, sweetie. We're almost here."

He mumbled a little bit. I shook him again, saying, "Come on, E, wake up."

He grumbled. I said louder, "Edward, wake up!"

"I gotta fight the monkey," he said as he turned his face towards the window.

I guffawed really loudly, and Edward woke with a start. "What's going on?" he asked groggily as he rubbed his eyes.

"You totally just told me you had to fight the monkey in your sleep," I responded through giggles.

Edward looked at me quizzically. "No, I didn't. Did I?"

I nodded. "Fuck," he responded. "You'll use that as ammo against me for the rest of our lives."

I gave him my most innocent smile and replied, "Of course I will." I leaned over and kissed his lips quickly. "Now, straighten yourself up; we're here."

Edward's body immediately filled with a noticeable tension, and I wanted to laugh again. If he only knew how much of a teddy bear Charlie was, he'd relax and be himself. As it was, I was kind of worried his tension would lead to Charlie freaking out about Edward hiding something (which I knew he wasn't, but Charlie had no way of knowing for sure).

I pulled the car into the driveway and hopped out. The impending reunion with my father pumped me full of adrenaline, and I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Edward looked like he was heading for his execution as he slowly got out of the passenger seat, got our luggage out of the backseat, and followed me to the door.

I knocked on it three times to let Charlie know we arrived before I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. I walked into the living room, Edward close behind, and saw my father asleep on the couch, the television playing an infomercial. I walked over to the couch, leaned over, and shook Charlie a little bit.

"Dad, I'm home," I said, and his eyes immediately popped open.

"Bells?" he asked quietly, his eyes widening as if he were surprised to see me. Once his brain registered I was really standing in front of him, he jumped up and scooped me into a bear hug.

"Dad… can't breathe," I gasped out, desperate for my lungs to get some oxygen. He immediately released me, and my lungs filled with sweet, glorious air.

"Sorry, Bells, I'm just so happy to see you," he said a little sheepishly.

I smiled at him. I was so glad I'd decided to visit Charlie. It really had been too long. "I'm happy to see you too, Dad. Oh, and this is Edward," I said, gesturing to the awkward man standing behind me.

I watched Charlie's expression change from curious to concerned to relieved as he took Edward in. _Thank God, he's passed Charlie's first impression test._

Edward held his hand out to Charlie and said, "It's nice to meet you, Sir." Charlie immediately grasped Edward's hand and shook it.

"It's nice to meet you too, Edward. How long have you known my daughter?" Charlie asked. He was never one to meander in conversation, instead preferring to get to the meat of things.

"We haven't known each other very long, but in that time we've gotten to know each other pretty well. She's an amazing woman, Mr. Swan," Edward answered as he flashed a bright, genuine smile. I saw Charlie's posture relax a bit and wondered what my father was thinking.

"She raised herself, really. She's just like her mother: strong-willed, independent, smart, and loyal. I'm sure you've learned that by now."

"Oh, I have. Especially the strong-willed part." The two men laughed, and it took me a second to realize Edward had just made fun of me to my dad, and Charlie had actually laughed in response. _Gotta pick up your game, Swan. Can't let the menfolk win._

"Come on, guys, I'm not that bad. It's not like I'm Emmett," I interjected, hoping to take a bit of the heat off of me. If I let them get too into ribbing me, I knew I'd end up spending the entire weekend defending myself from their jabs, even if they were light-hearted. The exact same thing always happened whenever I spent time with both Charlie and Emmett.

Edward and Charlie both kind of waved me off and continued in their conversation, focusing on my insistent nature and my ability to hold grudges. _Here we go,_ I thought. _At least they're getting along._

(*)(*)(*)(*)

I awoke in the morning in my bed. I had no idea how I'd gotten there. My clothing had been changed, and I was wearing a T-shirt over my bra and underwear. Edward was nowhere to be found. When I looked at my cell phone, which had been plugged into the charger and placed on my nightstand, I saw it was already one in the afternoon. _Way to sleep away the quality time you could've spent with your father, Swan. God, you suck._

I quickly slipped into a pair of jeans, ran a brush through my hair, and brushed my teeth in the bathroom before I hit the stairs and prepared my apology to Charlie. I stopped halfway down the stairwell, though, when I realized that Charlie and Edward were talking about me in the living room.

"She's always felt the need to take care of everybody at the expense of her own well-being," I heard Charlie say. "When her mom got sick, she became a mini-housewife. She learned to cook, cleaned everything, and made sure me and Emmett were taken care of. It was like she felt she had to take her mother's role in things and make sure we stayed the same kind of family. The only time I've seen her relax and truly smile and laugh was whenever Alice was around. When she was dating that James guy, the smiling stopped altogether. With you though, Edward… it's like when she's with Alice. She seems comfortable, like she can be herself. I was able to see it even from the small amount of time we talked last night."

"I try my best, Mr. Swan. Ever since I met her, I felt this connection to her. I just want to make her happy and erase the pain from her past. When she told me about James… I could have killed him. I wanted to because no one should have to deal with that kind of hurt, let alone someone as great as Bella. She deserves so much more, especially with how selfless and sincere she is. I just hope I can be what she needs," Edward said with a sigh. My heart stopped a second. _Edward was worried about being good enough for _me?_ And he was talking like he was thinking long-term for our relationship. Cue the girly butterflies in the stomach and the wedding bell auditory hallucinations._

"From what I can tell, son, you're exactly what she needs. I'm glad she's found you. And call me Charlie." I could hear the crinkling smile in my father's voice.

I was kind of shocked at how much my father was talking to a relative stranger. It usually took Charlie months, even years, to open up to someone, and here he was, spilling every thought and feeling to Edward like he was Charlie's psychiatrist. I guessed maybe Charlie saw something in Edward that made him feel like he could confide his concerns and worries about me to him. Either way, I was ecstatic the two most important men in my life seemed to like each other. I took a deep breath and went down the rest of the stairs.

"Hey, guys," I said softly, trying to make it seem like I'd just woken up and hadn't been eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Well, hello there, sleepyhead," Edward said from the couch. He opened up his arms, and I sat down next to him, letting his arms envelop me in his warm embrace.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Edward and I were just talking a bit," Charlie replied. "You picked a good one, Bells."

"Don't I know it." I grinned at Edward, and he winked at me. "So, what's on the agenda today, Dad? I'm guessing a La Push bonfire?"

"Of course! Billy's dying to see you, and Harry's got a present for you."

Edward was looking puzzled, so I turned to him and explained, "Billy is Jacob's dad. I've known him pretty much since birth. Harry is Seth's dad." He nodded and stood up from the couch.

"I'm going to go get dressed then. I left all of my suitcases in your room after I put you to bed," he said as he stretched his arms into the air. The hem of his shirt lifted enough to where I could see the tiniest hint of his stomach. I had the uncontrollable urge to lean over and kiss the bare skin.

"I actually need to get dressed too. I'm not exactly presentable enough for a La Push party. I'm guessing we're starting early?" I asked Charlie.

"I told Billy we'd be over there around 3:30 or so. If I remember right, Jake and Seth are here this weekend too."

"Oh, awesome! Edward's met them before, so he'll at least have a couple of people to talk to. Anyway, holler up if you need anything, Dad." I turned toward the stairs and ran up as quickly as I could. Knowing that Edward was in my girlhood bedroom, possibly naked, excited me like nothing else.

When I got to my room, I saw that the door was closed. When I tried to open it, the door wouldn't budge, so I knocked and said, "E, it's me, open the damn door."

After a few seconds I heard the lock click, and the door slowly opened. I walked into the room and didn't see Edward at all. When I turned around, I saw that the door was still open and Edward was using it to unsuccessfully cover his nudity.

"Edward, what the fuck?" I asked as I tried to stifle a chuckle.

"I wasn't sure if Charlie was with you, and I didn't want to take the chance," he replied.

"It's safe, dude. You can stop attempting to hide. Besides, you're not really covering anything, anyway." I crossed the room too him and shut the door, leaving him exposed. "Why aren't you wearing underpants if you're so scared of Charlie walking in?"

"I remembered from my trek up her to put you to bed that the bathroom was right next door to your room. I was going to grab a towel and dart in to take a shower really fast." He ran his hands through his hair as he spoke, then shrugged.

I stepped a little closer to him and ran my hands up and down his stomach slowly. "Good luck getting to that shower now." I took another step, tilted my face upward, and was met with a gentle kiss.

"Actually, the nudity was part of my scheme to seduce you. Looks like it worked," he breathed against my mouth, and a shiver ran up my spine as his hands roughly lifted my T-shirt off of my skin. When he found I was braless underneath, he gave me that heart-stopping lopsided smirk, and any resistance I may have had about fucking Edward in my childhood home poured out of me. I needed him to take me _now._

I quickly unbuttoned, unzipped, and slid off my jeans in a frenzy of harried motions, my panties following quickly after. I threw my arms around Edward's neck and crashed my mouth into his, tongues battling a war to the death as his hands slid down my back before grabbing my ass and lifting. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he turned around and pressed my back against the door.

I tore my mouth from Edward's long enough to say, "We need to try to be quiet so Charlie doesn't hear."

Edward walked us over to the wall on the other side of the room and pressed me against it, thrusting his hips into mine and pushing into me forcefully. I gave a loud moan, and he chuckled as he said, "I don't think that'll be possible, but you've presented me with a challenge, Isabella."

His thrusts were hard and fast, and I was sure that Charlie could hear the sound of my body banging into the wall, but at that moment I didn't care. Edward was hitting a spot that made me gasp and clench my legs around him with every thrust. I was so close to my climax when I heard, "Hey, Bells, I need help with the mashed potatoes!" from the kitchen.

Edward froze, his eyes gaining the look of a deer caught in headlights. "What should we do?" he whispered.

I sighed and whispered back, "We go downstairs and help Charlie, and then we go to the bonfire, where we'll find a secluded spot somewhere on the beach to continue this." I gave him a peck on the cheek as I untangled my legs from his torso and dropped my feet to the ground. "Be down in a sec, Dad!" I called out to Charlie.

_Cock-blocking Charlie. Now I know how Emmett felt in high school._

(-)(-)(-)(-)_  
_

**E POV**

I took a quick shower and tried my best to restrain myself from jerking off. I knew that this weekend wouldn't afford Bella and I many chances get to up close and personal, but we were actually in the middle of really amazing sex when Charlie called up for help. For mashed potatoes, no less! I was slightly reassured, though, by Bella's statement that we'd find a spot on the beach and pick up where we left off. I wanted to make myself hold off on release for her.

I dressed quickly and was downstairs in a flash. When I turned into the kitchen, I saw Bella stirring something in a pot with no Charlie in sight.

"I'm useless in the kitchen," I heard from behind me. When I turned to see what Charlie was up to, I saw a baseball game on the TV. "Come watch with me, Edward. Bells has everything covered."

I turned to her and asked, "Do you need any help?"

She rolled her eyes, smiled, and said, "I've got this cooking thing handled. Dad was about to microwave the potatoes instead of boiling them, and I decided that I best do this on my own. Besides, I knew he was missing a game that he wanted to watch. Go socialize with Dad, do the male bonding thing." I walked over and gave her a peck on the cheek before going into the living room and sitting on the couch.

For the remaining time before leaving for this bonfire, I watched baseball with my lover's father. I myself was not a baseball fan, but to listen to Charlie talk about it with such passion was pretty interesting. Finally, Bella declared everything ready, and we left for La Push.

When we arrived about thirty minutes later, I saw we were on a gorgeous beach with clear water, though it looked dark and ominous in the cloudiness that normally covered this part of the country. A little bit down the beach from where we parked there was a gathering of people. I followed Charlie and Bella to the crowd with a sense of unease at being surrounded by so many strangers. I always had this fear when in large groups, even though whenever I was on a stage in front of hundreds or thousands, I felt comfortable and happy. It didn't really make any sense, but it was how I'd always been.

I saw Charlie and Bella stop in front of Jacob and an older man in a wheelchair. This man was introduced as Billy Black, Jacob's family. Billy immediately began telling stories about Jacob as a kid, which eventually led into a speech about how he'd known ever since Jacob was little that his son was gay, and that he was absolutely accepting of the fact.

"In fact, when he and Seth came out as a couple three years ago, I was the first person on the reservation on their side. It took everyone else a little bit longer to accept it," Billy said, his eyes shifting to the left to look at another family. Seth was standing with them, so I assumed that the family was his.

"Yeah, Harry Clearwater, Seth's dad, had a hard time with it for a while. His mom, Sue, really understood though. She and Billy were the ones who pushed them to be more public with their relationship. And Seth's sister, Leah – the really pretty girl in the black jacket – she was the first person to know about them, even before Billy knew, or even me, and was really great about the whole thing. She got into a lot of fist fights defending Seth," Bella explained.

I stood back and watched Bella interact with everyone. She'd known most of them since she was really little, and there was an ease about her stance and demeanor I rarely saw outside of her interactions with Alice. _I guess there really is no place like home._

After an hour or so, Bella squeezed my hand, put her lips next to my ear, and said, "Let's find a place a bit more private." She gathered up a blanket, muttered something about showing me some natural phenomenon that I didn't catch the name of, and pulled me away from the crowd. She led me down the beach for a while, telling me stories about her childhood and about Jacob, who'd been her friend longer than even Alice had been.

Finally, about twenty minutes later, we came to a bend in the beach that would completely hide us from the view of the people at the bonfire. She laid the blanket down and shot me a ravenous stare.

"God, I want you," she said as she approached me. Her arms wrapped around my waist, and I lifted my hands to cradle her face in them.

"I was thinking the exact same thing. I love you, Bella," I said before laying a soft kiss on her plump lips.

"I love you too, Ms. Swan," I heard a sneering, gruff voice say behind me. Bella's stance immediately tensed up, and I could see shock and fear in her eyes. She pulled away so she could see who was behind me, and once she did, she took three steps backward.

I turned to see who'd interrupted us and saw a man wearing holey jeans and a black T-shirt. He looked a little unkempt, and I figured him for a creepy drifter before I heard Bella speak.

"James," she whispered, and my blood ran cold.

* * *

**A/N:** The title of the chapter comes from the poem "The Road and the End" by Carl Sandburg.

Falkor is my favorite character in the 1980's children's movie _The Never-ending Story_. My dog kind of looks like him. Much Luck Dragon love!

Simon and Garfunkel played on repeat as I wrote the first half of this chapter. My favorite song by them is "Scarborough Fair".

"Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin is one of the sexiest songs I've ever heard. Amazing vocals and guitar work on that track.

"Whispering" from the musical _Spring Awakening _is hauntingly beautiful and wonderfully composed. It always gives me chills whenever I hear it.

"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen has a special place in my heart. I once played it on a jukebox at a bar, and the entire place started singing along. It was an amazing moment.

_Lakme _is an opera that's not very well-known outside of the opera world except for "The Flower Duet". It's gorgeous to listen to, and the harmonies between the two women are delightful.

Shout-out to Edwardville, as always. This amazing livejournal community has taken my under their wing and allowed me to meet some amazing people.

I will start writing the next chapter tomorrow, so hopefully it'll be done soon!


	24. Chapter 24: Still Alive

Thanks to R. for being supportive of all my decisions and for loving me unconditionally regardless of my craziness. Thanks to Mac and Britt for beta'ing so quickly, especially since I've been MIA for so long. Thanks to Jes for staying my friend even when I took a fandom hiatus. Thanks to everyone on Twitter for making me you to Kate (katinki) for being an amazing Twilight Counsel mentor.

I'd especially like to thank all of you who have been patient with me through my very difficult past six months. Between my mother's extended illness, my sister's foot problems and resulting surgery, my grandmother's continuous health problems, and my very demanding job, I had to give up something I enjoyed doing very, very much. I'm back now, though!

Also, I'm on Twitter **rhpsfaerie**. Follow me as I tweet about my sex life, random stuff, and my newest excursion into jewelry-making.

**

* * *

E POV**

At first, Bella's words were met with silence. In fact, it was so quiet for so long I started to believe Bella and I were having a mutual hallucination. Then the hallucination responded.

"Come on, Bells, why do you look so afraid of me? I promise I'm not going to hurt you - I just want to talk for a minute," James said in a deep, almost gentle-sounding tone. I braced myself, prepared to fight James if necessary.

"I have nothing to say to you, James," she said softly. I could hear a slight tremor in her voice, and I looked over at her. Her face was ghostly pale, and she looked like she was having trouble breathing.

"That may be true, but I have a lot to talk to you about. Why did you leave me, sweetie? We were so good together, and I was the only person who believed in your writing. You wouldn't be where you are without me, you know."

"I would have been fine without you."

"I need to ask you some things. In private," he added with a glance to me.

"Not happening, you sick fuck," I said to him.

"This isn't about you, pretty boy. This is between me and her," he said harshly. _What a delusional prick, _I thought.

"Edward, it's okay; I can handle this. James, we're going to walk over there and talk, but you have to stay ten feet away from me, alright?" She pointed to a spot about thirty feet away from where we stood. If I remembered correctly, the spot Bella chose was right in the line of sight of the beach party. I nodded to her, praying somebody would see them and get Charlie.

They walked to the chosen spot, James keeping a careful distance away from Bella. He turned to look at me, winked, and gave the most devious grin I'd even seen. It took every ounce of strength I had not to tackle him to the ground and smash his face in. _Bella has this under control. She can take care of this. And if she can't, I'll sure as hell do the job for her._

They stopped moving, and my heart leapt into my throat as I watched them talking in tones so quiet that I couldn't hear. Then I saw James moving toward Bella and raising his hand up, about to strike, and I sprinted for them, but then stopped dead in my tracks. She blocked his fist, grabbed his arm, and flipped him to the ground. She kicked him repeatedly, then bent down and started punching him in the face. James must have been stunned because he didn't make any motions to protect himself.

After what seemed like an hour - it was probably only about thirty seconds - I forced myself to move to Bella and pull her off James. She was screaming incoherently at him, and she tried to push me away. I wrapped both my arms around her waist, using all my strength to move her away. Her limbs kept flailing, and she just kept screaming.

"What's going on here?" I heard an angry growl behind me say.

All of Bella's strength left her body, and she let me put her feet on the ground. Once I let her go, she ran behind me to the source of the voice. I turned and saw her in Charlie's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Charlie looked over the top of her head, and the look in his eyes was heartbreaking.

"James," was all I could say. I looked behind me, and James was still lying on the ground, moaning in pain. Charlie's eyes widened, then grew cold and steely as he took in the sight of the man who'd all but destroyed his daughter.

"Edward, please take Bella back to the bonfire. I need to officially arrest this man," Charlie said through gritted teeth. "I sure am glad I decided to bring my cuffs and badge with me."

I nodded as I walked over to him. Bella was still sobbing, and the sound made my chest ache. Charlie bent his head to whisper something to Bella that was indecipherable to me, and Bella looked up. I closed the distance between us, but I wasn't sure exactly how comfortable she would be if I were to embrace her first. This type of situation was completely unknown territory for me. She wrapped her arms around my waist tightly, and I wrapped one arm around her back to hold her as close as I could. The other hand stroked her hair as I attempted to calm her with meaningless words and futile murmurs. Her sobbing didn't lessen a single bit as I led her slowly back to the bonfire.

Jacob was the first person to notice us. He ran over, prepared no doubt to share some funny story, but froze when he saw the state Bella was in. "What happened?" he demanded, looking at me accusingly.

"James. He came for Bella," I said softly. Jacob's face flashed an array of emotions: confusion, anger, concern, anger.

Finally, he responded with one word: "Charlie?"

"He's making an official arrest. James being here violates his parole, right?" I asked. Jacob nodded. "Luckily, he'd been incapacitated by then."

Jacob grinned. "Kicked his ass to defend your lady love?"

I gave him a small smile in return. "Actually, Bella is the one who beat him down. She went all Chuck Norris on him."

Bella's sobs stopped immediately, and she lifted her head up to look at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, and but her expression was one of complete shock.

"I did not," she whispered, her voice sounding hoarse.

"You totally did," I replied. "If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you spent your Saturdays engaging in a fight club."

She started to giggle, and I was overcome with relief. I was terrified her fighting spirit had somehow been broken by something James said. I pulled her in as close as I could and kissed the top of her head.

"It's going to be okay. I promise," I whispered to her.

"I think I want to go home tonight. To Los Angeles. And after that I need to get out of the city. Let's just go away," she said in a breathy rush. She looked up at me, hope and desperation gleaming in her eyes.

"That's fine with me. Let's get out of here."

(*)(*)(*)(*)

Bella and I left almost at the crack of dawn for L.A. the next day. We decided on the way home it was time for her to meet my parents in New York. When we called Alice and Emmett to tell them, they invited themselves along, and Jasper and Rosalie quickly followed suit. None of us knew exactly what became of James after the police finished up with us on the beach until the night before we left. Jacob came over with all of the information he could find.

"After Charlie arrested James for violating his parole, James was shipped back to California for trial, but not before his girlfriend, Victoria, managed to find some legal loophole to get him out on bail for two weeks. I poured over all the info and couldn't find a single possible way James could get out. Victoria must have sucked someone's dick into oblivion to get James out of prison!" he exclaimed from the floor of Bella's living room. The entire room burst into raucous laughter except for Bella.

She'd been pretty quiet since we got back to L.A. Every time I tried to talk to her, she just kind of brushed me off and went to her writing. I chalked it up to it being her coping mechanism and decided to let her do things her way, but I was still really fucking worried about her.

The thing that worried me most was that we'd stopped kissing. Her lips had not met mine since we stepped into Charlie's house after the police were finished getting our statements. Every night we climbed into bed together and made love, but she wouldn't let my mouth go anywhere near hers. I had no idea what that was about. After everyone went home and we started our packing for the trip, I brought the subject up to her.

"Bella, is everything okay? I've been feeling like you're trying to keep your distance from me," I said as I put my various toiletries into travel bags.

She stopped folding her clothes and stared at me. "Edward, we've had sex every night since you moved in. I don't get what you mean," she responded as her eyebrows furrowed together.

I moved across the room to stand next to her. "Yeah, we've had sex, but you won't let me kiss you. We haven't kissed in over three days. Not once. I miss it. I miss you. You've been quiet too… spending all your time typing away at the computer. We haven't talked about anything except what to eat or our travel plans." I reached for her hands and held them tightly in mine. "Bella, tell me what's wrong. Tell me what you're thinking."

She kept her eyes on mine for a while before lowering them to the ground. "I… I'm not quite sure what to say. I'm in the middle of my novel, and I have to get the words out. I've been thinking a lot about myself and my life and about my relationship with you, and I'm not trying to avoid you. I'm just introspective, I guess, and I'm lost in my own head." She lifted her eyes, all wide and sad, back up to mine. "I'll snap out of it soon, I promise. Ask Alice - I do this a lot." She gave me a weak smile and moved her hands so her arms wrapped around my waist. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

I smiled softly down at her. "It's okay. Just remember I'm not going anywhere and you can tell me anything. Now… can I kiss you?"

She laughed, stood up on tip-toe, and pressed her lips softly to mine. My hands weaved into her hair as I pulled her closer to me, crushing my lips into hers. When we pulled away to get some oxygen, Bella laughed and said, "You know, I kind of miss this kissing thing," before throwing her arms around my neck and immersing me in the taste of her lips and her tongue.

(*)(*)(*)(*)

The next morning our band of merry men and women boarded a plane and flew to New York. The plane ride was pretty typical, except whenever there was a slight bit of turbulence Alice made a squeaking sound from the row behind me and Bella. The first time it happened, it was surprising. The fifth time it was slightly amusing. By the end of the flight, we were laughing hysterically, almost to the point of shooting liquids out of our noses. Emmett kept a running commentary of Alice's random turbulence sounds the entire flight in an Australian accent that left us unable to breathe, we were laughing so hard. Rosalie tried hard not to laugh at Emmett, but she finally cracked a smile as she grabbed Emmett's hand and held it tightly. Jasper was silent almost the entire time, but every time we laughed at Alice's squeaks, he kicked the back of my chair.

When we got off the plane, we went straight to baggage claim to get our belongings, then went outside to find a taxi. Instead of finding a taxi, I found my parents waiting with a limousine. _Thanks a lot, guys; now I'll seem like a pampered rich boy to my new, not as pampered friends and girlfriend._

"Edward!" my mother squealed as she sprinted toward me, crashing into me and throwing her arms around my neck.

"Hi, Mom," I said with a smile. It had been a while since I'd seen my parents, and I was kind of glad I'd chosen to come back home for a visit.

"And this must be Bella!" she exclaimed after she let me go. She threw her arms around Bella, causing her to freeze with a panicked look on her face. I tried to let my face show her she should just go with it, and after a few seconds she relaxed and returned Esme's embrace.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen. Edward's told me so much about you and your husband," Bella said as Esme began to peel herself off my girlfriend.

"Oh, please, I don't want to hear any of this 'Mrs. Cullen' crap. My name is Esme," she said with a laugh as she turned her attention to the rest of the group. "Jasper! Rosalie! It's been far too long since I've seen you two. And who are these two?" Esme looked at me, waiting for an answer.

"Well, Mom, this little tiny thing clinging to Jasper is Alice, Bella's closest friend. The large, hulking guy holding Rose's hand is Emmett, Bella's brother," I responded as I led the way to the limousine. Carlisle was leaning against it, watching us patiently and smiling at me and Esme.

"Welcome back to NYC, Edward," my father said as he shook my hand. "And who is this lovely brunette by your side? The infamous Isabella?"

Bella giggled as she extended her hand to my father. "Bella Swan, novelist extraordinaire."

My father took her hand and planted a light kiss on her knuckles. "Carlisle Cullen, master physician." _There he goes, playing the smooth motherfucker card. This is gonna be a long visit._

"Carlisle Cullen, you better be behaving yourself," Esme said as she took her place by his side. "Now, let's get this group to our place so they can have a proper meal and get some rest."

"Um, Esme, we have hotel reservations at the Plaza," Rosalie said. "Didn't Edward tell you?"

"No, he did not," she responded with a glare in my direction. "Edward, why don't you cancel the reservations and come stay with us? It'll be cheaper, and I'd love to have all of you around."

"I don't know, Mom. I think Jasper and Alice, Emmett and Rose would like their privacy," I said in a desperate attempt not to have to deal with my parents for the next week. _Especially after Carlisle finds out I'm conducting a premiere._

"Actually, we don't mind," Alice chirped. _Traitorous midget._

"Edward, it'll be fine. We'd love to, Esme. I'll call the hotel right now and cancel the reservations," Bella said with a blinding smile and a wave of her hand. She walked a few feet away from us so she could make her phone call. The rest of us loaded the luggage into the limousine.

"She's gorgeous, son. Seems nice, too. She keeps you on your toes?" Carlisle asked as we lifted one of Rosalie's many suitcases into the trunk.

"Every single day, Dad. I have no idea what she's thinking half the time, and when she lets me know, I'm completely stunned by it. She's intelligent and witty, and we share similar tastes in music and books and movies."

"Slow down. I've never heard you talk so much about a girl before. It's like you've been possessed by a love demon or something."

I rolled my eyes. "That was cheesy even for you, Dad. I do love her, though. She's perfect."

"And I bake a mean cake, too," Bella said as she wrapped her arms around my waist. She looked up at me and said, "The reservations are all canceled. Let's get going."

We drove to my parents' place on the Upper West Side. Their apartment was practically a penthouse suite, it was so large, and it overlooked Central Park. Bella was stunned when she walked in the door. Esme loved to decorate, and her home was no exception. The walls were covered with art of varying styles and from different periods, and the furniture was plush and in dark colors. Bella walked around the house slowly, drinking in everything.

"Edward, this place is amazing! Why would you ever think to stay at a hotel?" Bella asked as we entered my room and set our suitcases on the floor.

"Because my parents are going to drive me crazy. I can feel the crazy creeping in already," I said as I opened my suitcase and started putting clothes away in my dresser.

"All parents drive their children crazy, buddy. It's a rule or something. I'm sure they'll be on their best behavior with all these people in their home, anyway. Don't worry!" Bella said as she twisted her hair into a high ponytail and started her own unpacking.

"Did I tell you I was going to be conducting a piece at Julliard while we're here?" She nodded, and I continued. "Once my parents find out, my father in particular, I'll all of a sudden get pestered and picked at to practice and clean my suit and all of the same things they did when I was a kid. They were so intent on helping me 'realize my dream' they forgot to let me have a normal childhood."

"I'd forgotten about that," she said as she sat down on the bed.

"Don't worry; I can handle it. I'm used to them behaving that way to me, even if it drives me insane. I'm just worried about how everyone else will handle it. Every time my parents started prodding about the music thing with Jasper and Rosalie around, it always made them super uncomfortable. I'm sure Emmett and Alice won't take it all that well, either. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine. If you want, I can curse out your parents if you give me a special signal." She resumed her unpacking, putting her clothing into the dresser drawers I had not already filled.

I chuckled. "No need for that. We'll handle them together."

After we'd finished unpacking, Bella set up her laptop on the desk in my room and started typing away at her novel. After checking on Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie to make sure they were settling in alright, I went to the other side of the apartment to my father's study.

"Ah, Edward! I'm guessing everyone is about unpacked. Do you want to do dinner at Babbo? Batali has made sure to keep a table open for your mother and I since she loves the asparagus ravioli almost more than she loves me," my father said when I entered. He was seated at his desk in the middle of the room, surrounded by bookshelves upon bookshelves. He was reading a book, his silver-rimmed reading glasses perched low on his nose. In front of his desk were a small chair and a large velvet arm chair.

"I'm not sure what everyone else will want to do. I'll check with them. If I had to guess, though, I'd say Bella will want to stay in. She already has her laptop up, and she's typing away like there's no tomorrow," I said as I sat in the arm chair.

"Is she a workaholic, too? I know when you get composing, nothing can tear you away, especially mundane human things like food and sleep." Carlisle set the book he was reading down on the desk and looked at me over the top of his glasses.

"She's actually probably worse than I am. I haven't had a real conversation with her in over a week. I feel like she's trying to keep her distance from me. She…" It took me a minute to figure out how to describe Bella's dating past. "She's had some problems in the past with ex-boyfriends, and she doesn't trust easily, I think. I'm not sure what to do."

"If you love her, you stick it out. If you love her enough to want to marry her, you do crazy shit to get her to trust you. If she's a fling, dump her."

"It's not that easy, Dad."

"Of course it is. People in this world have forgotten love is really all that matters in a relationship. They spend too much time worrying about all the things that are going wrong and forget about the things that caused the relationship to begin in the first place. What was it that drew you to Bella?"

"Her stunning beauty was the first thing. Her intelligence, definitely. Her spunk and spirit showed me she was someone to reckon with, and you know I like a challenge." Carlisle laughed, and I continued. "Her kindness knows no bounds. She's fiercely loyal to those she loves, sometimes to a fault. She isn't afraid to disagree with someone or let her true feelings be known."

"She sounds like quite a woman, son. You love her?"

"Ridiculously. I haven't felt like this before, not even with Tanya."

"You do realize you're starting to sound like a woman, right? All this confessing your feelings and talking like it's going out of style is making me feel like I need to work out and watch Michael Bay movies."

I scoffed. "Very funny, Dad. I can see you're just the same as always." I got up out of the chair to leave. What kind of father mocks his son when he's looking for guidance?

"Come on, sit back down. I'm just teasing. Now, if you feel more for Bella than you did for Tanya, then you have your answer. You fight for her, son, with everything you have."

"I will, Dad. And on second thought, let's go ahead and go to Babbo tonight. I'll let everyone know."

(*)(*)(*)(*)

An hour later, my parents, my friends, and I were sitting at the restaurant, eating, drinking, and having a grand time. The only problem was Bella wasn't with us. She was still focused on that computer, oblivious to us all. She barely even mumbled a goodbye to me, although she did give me a kiss as I walked out the door in a black dress shirt, black pants, and an emerald green tie.

"Come home to me and give me lots of love," she said with a wink as she tugged on my tie and enveloped me in a fiery kiss. As I walked down the hallway she shouted, "You look incredibly sexy, by the way! I love you!"

Our large group took up a table in the center of the restaurant, and everyone kept looking at us as we talked and laughed. Emmett tried to explain to my mother the morning after Bella's costume party and his fake threatening behavior towards me while my father and Jasper discussed stocks and financial issues. Alice and Rosalie kept whispering to each other next to me and giggling. I sat still, observing everyone around me and wishing Bella was here so we could talk about the randomness occurring at our table. I knew she would definitely appreciate Emmett's conversation with Esme.

"Your apron said _what_?" Esme squeaked, and the entire table erupted into raucous laughter.

"Hey, Edward, do you know why Bella didn't come with us tonight?" Alice asked me.

"She's immersed in her newest novel. She barely looked up from the laptop screen when I left," I replied.

"That sounds like her. She throws herself into her writing, especially when something happens that kind of freaks her out a bit. The James thing definitely qualifies."

"She won't talk to me about it."

"And she won't. Not for a while, anyway. Then all of a sudden, she'll say, 'Remember when I was practically catatonic a few months ago? This is what was happening in my head.' It's frustrating as hell, but it's how she deals. She's very much in her own mind a lot of the time."

"But she's okay?"

"For the most part. Don't worry, Edward! Everything will turn out great. I have a feeling."

"Thanks, Alice." I turned to the table and said to the group, "I'm going to go call Bella and see if she wants us to bring her home something to eat. I'll be back in a minute."

I got up from the table and walked outside, dialing Bella's number as I walked. She answered just as I opened the door.

"Hey, baby! What's going on?" She sounded kind of out of breath and really excited about something.

"I was just calling to see if you wanted us to pick up something to eat for you," I said.

There was a long pause, and I could hear a lot of noise in the background. "Oh, no! I'm fine. Hey, I need to go and work some more. I'll see in you a bit?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I love you."

"Love you too!"

I hung up and turned to go back in to the restaurant when my arm was grabbed. I turned to see who was grabbing me and was face to face with Tanya Denali.

"Edward! I can't believe you're back in New York! I've missed you so much!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around my neck.

"Um, what the hell are you doing?" I spat as I pulled her off of me. _This can't be fucking happening. Not right now._

"I'm saying hello to an old friend! I was so excited to hear you're going to conduct the concert next week. Especially since I'm singing the mezzo solos!" She flashed me a bright grin, her blue eyes sparkling with excitement.

"You are?"

"Of course I am. I made sure to snag the spot as soon as I heard you were the conductor. I've really missed you. I've wanted to apologize for so long about the way I treated you…" She trailed off as she slid her hands up and down my chest and stomach.

"Tanya, please go away. I don't want to hear it. I'm actually here with my family, and I need to get back to them." I tried to push her away, but she wasn't budging, and I was afraid if I got rough with her she'd _really_ overreact.

"Maybe I should refresh your memory of how good we were together." She leaned in closer to me as I continued to try to pry her off. Suddenly I heard a voice from behind me.

"Edward?"

Bella was standing there, looking gorgeous in a simple black cocktail dress. The expression on her face almost killed me. She looked heartbroken.

"Bella, this is _not_ what it looks like. This is Tanya," I said, hoping to convey I was being truthful and I needed help.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," Tanya said, letting go of me to step forward and extend a hand to Bella.

Bella stepped forward and punched Tanya in the face, calmly saying, "Leave my man alone, you evil bitch," as she took my hand and led me into the restaurant.

God, I loved this woman.

* * *

**A/N:** Title of the chapter comes from the song "Still Alive", which is featured at the end of the video game Portal.

No music or other real references, so nothing to say. Sorry!


	25. Chapter 25: In Progress

Thanks to R. for being wonderful about this editing when life is already so busy. Thanks to Mac and Britt, my betas, even though I couldn't get a hold of them in time to post this when I wanted to. Thanks to venis_envy for being my emergency beta. Thanks to everyone on Twitter who brightens my day (you know who you are.) Thanks especially to everyone who reads this story and is still sticking by me. You are all truly wonderful.

I'm still on Twitter (at)rhpsfaerie. Add me if you want to see my musings on being a teacher with the summer off of work.

Disclaimer: S.M. owns it, I play with it.

* * *

**B POV**

I'd been a bad girlfriend.

I knew it was wrong to ignore everyone while I figured things out in my head. I'd done this enough—and worried Alice and Emmett to near-death enough in the process — to know it wasn't fair to continue this cycle.

Yet here I was, sitting in Edward's childhood bedroom typing away while he, his family, and our friends were out to dinner at one of New York's premier restaurants.

Granted, I couldn't really stop the flow of words. I'd been writing two chapters a day since the incident with You-Know-Who (and I didn't mean Voldemort) and was almost finished with the last chapter and about to start the epilogue when Edward came into his room, asking me to go out to dinner with the group. I respectfully declined, and my heart broke a little bit as I saw Edward's face fall a bit in resignation. I didn't want to do this to him, but I felt like, if I didn't finish writing this damned novel, I would explode.

If I were being honest with myself, I'd admit that a lot of the reason I was writing was so I didn't have to think about James. He was out on the prowl somewhere, possibly looking for me, and I was terrified. He was the sole reason I agreed so quickly to come to New York. James couldn't leave California without facing some serious prison time.

The thing that worried me the most was what he'd said to me when he asked to speak with me alone on the beach. The second we were out of earshot from Edward, James said, "Bella, I don't care what you or the police or the fucking United States Marines say. You are mine. If I see him touch you again, I'll kill him. I'll strangle him with my bare hands. And if you try to get in my way, I'll kill you, too. I won't let another man touch what belongs to me."

When I tried to tell him he couldn't do things like that, he brought his hand up to hit me. That's when my defense tactics kicked in and I finally moved to defend myself. After that, it was all a blur except for the writing and Edward's hands on my skin whenever we made love. Every time his skin made contact with mine, James' words replayed in my head. _If I see him touch you again, I'll kill him… if you try to get in my way, I'll kill you, too…_

When he brought up the kissing thing, I realized I'd had no clue what he was talking about. It took a few minutes for me to see he was right. I needed to let him in, and even though I hadn't given up control on my emotions completely, whenever I did release some of my control to him, I felt overwhelming amounts of love and support in return.

That was why I decided the second I finished writing the epilogue, I would meet him at the restaurant and make an effort (finally) towards making this relationship a story for the ages. A lot of the time, it sure felt like that was what we had.

I went into the hall bathroom two doors down from Edward's room to shower but couldn't find any towels. I was about to call Edward to ask where I could find some when I heard movement in the kitchen. When I entered, I found an older woman putting away some silverware.

"Excuse me, my name is Bella. Who are you?" I asked the woman.

"Oh, I'm Maggie. I'm the Cullens' housekeeper. What can I getcha, dearie?" the woman replied in a distinct Irish accent.

"I need some towels so I can shower, but I can't find any. I'm sorry to trouble you," I said apologetically.

"No problem at all. I understand you're Edward's young lady?" she said.

I smiled. "Yes, I am."

"He's a sweet boy, that Edward. I've been working for the Cullens for twenty years. I saw him grow from a gentle boy to a magnificent man. Don't you break his heart, now, or you'll have Maggie to deal with." She winked at me, her bright blue eyes sparkling with mischief. She went into the hallway, beckoning me to follow her, and opened a door to reveal a storage closet. After pulling some towels down, she handed them to me and said, "Here ya go. If you need anything else, let me know."

I thanked her and went into the bathroom to take a shower. As I washed my hair, I thought about the dedication I would write for my book. I'd dedicated _Wings on the Summer Wind_ to my mother and _Emerald Azure Ruby_ to Alice. As I rinsed the shampoo from my hair and smoothed conditioner into the strands, I decided to dedicate the book to Edward.

By the time I was rinsing the soap from my skin, I'd written the dedication in my head. It would read: _To Edward – Together we shall be, writer and composer, enjoying this crazy, mysterious journey we were destined to share as one. De la Vie D'Artiste. Je t'aime._

After I was finished in the shower, I blow dried my hair quickly into gentle waves and slapped on some foundation, eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss. I searched through Edward's closet for my little black dress and paired it with red stilettos. When I was finished getting dressed, I realized I had no idea how to get to the restaurant. As I was asking Maggie to help me out, Edward called. I decided to let my arrival at the restaurant be a surprise, so I tried to be vague about what I was doing while I spoke to him.

Finally, Maggie had gotten me a cab and told the driver where to take me. I sat in silence during the drive, allowing myself to take in all of the lights, sights, and sounds of the city. I'd been to New York once before when I first signed my publishing deal, but I never got to really experience it. I was hoping to get a chance while I was here with Edward.

When I got to the restaurant, I paid the driver and hopped out, suddenly very excited to be around people. I felt like I was starved for conversation and realized I'd been neglecting my own needs for the novel and my wallowing. I vowed to never let myself sink so deep into myself again, especially after I thought about the hurt and confusion I was causing in Edward.

Then I saw Edward with a very thin, very curvy red-haired woman dangling on him. She was wearing a fur coat with the shortest dress I had ever seen.

I couldn't think. I was devastated. _Edward's cheating on me?_

"Bella, this is _not_ what it looks like. This is Tanya," he said. His eyes were pleading, and I finally noticed how tense and scared he looked. He didn't want her anywhere near him, and she had her claws dug into his arm so hard I'd need the Jaws of Life to pry her loose.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," Tanya said as she extended a red-taloned hand toward me. I looked at her and back to Edward, who was pale and nervous looking. I thought about how Tanya had broken Edward and made him leave music for five years. What happened next was almost an involuntary reaction. One minute I was standing there staring, and the next my fist was connecting with Tanya's face.

I said, "Leave my man alone, you evil bitch." Then I walked over to Edward and took his hand, staring at the shocked expression on his face. I led him into the restaurant. After a few seconds, he shook his head and smiled at me.

"Bella, I have no idea what the hell just got into you, but I think I like it," he said as he squeezed the hand he was holding.

"How are you doing? Did you know Tanya was going to be here?" I asked. I was worried about how Edward would react. I figured if he clammed up like I did after the James incident, I completely deserved it.

"I had no idea. I'd just gotten off the phone with you when she accosted me. I'm so happy to see you!" He threw his arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

I laughed. "I'm glad to be here. I finished my novel, Edward. More importantly, I think I'm done with the introspection and ready to drop the guard. We don't have to talk tonight, but soon, okay?"

He pulled a little away from me and looked at me intensely. His eyes were glowing, they were so bright. "Whenever you feel ready. Come on, let's eat, and I'll tell you and everyone else about Tanya. Unfortunately, she'll be around a lot more, and I can't do anything about it."

Edward and I settled into a matching stride, and I couldn't help but let the feeling of complete peace and serenity wash over me. I had no idea why I'd kept him out when his mere presence made everything better.

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

After we left the restaurant, Edward asked the group if they felt like going to a bar nearby. I think he was trying to distract himself from the Tanya incident. We told everyone at the table what had happened, and the topic of Tanya overtook the conversation for the rest of the meal. When Edward brought up the bar, everyone was game for it. It was very loud and very crowded, and we were about to leave when Jasper noticed it was Open Mic Night and started begging and pleading Edward to play.

"Please? Pleeeeeaaaaassssse, Eddie boy?" Jasper whined.

"We don't have a drummer," Edward pointed out.

"Rosie can play. She drums," Jasper reminded Edward. Alice and I both looked at her, and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I've been playing for ten years. No biggie," she responded as she inspected her manicure for imperfections.

"Rose, will you play for us?" Jasper asked his sister as he gave her a pouty face.

"Eh, why not? Come on, Ed, let's show this place some real music," she said as she took Edward's hand.

"Guys, I have something to tell you," Alice said as soon as the musical trio was out of earshot.

"Spill, munchkin," Emmett said as he gulped down the remains of his beer.

"Jasper and I are getting married!" she squealed as she extended her left hand in front of us. Resting on her ring finger was a simple gold band with one very large diamond on it.

I jumped into her arms and shrieked, "When did this happen?"

"While we were unpacking our stuff at the Cullens'. I was putting my underwear into a drawer, and when I turn around, there's Jasper on one knee telling me he absolutely had to propose now because he couldn't wait any longer."

Then we heard Jasper clearing his throat into the microphone and turned toward the stage. He said, "Hello there. My name is Jasper, and we're Edward Cullen and the Halestorm. How's everyone doing tonight?"

Alice and I screamed for our men while Emmett yelled, "I'm doing fucking awesome, Jazz; now play some fucking music!"

Edward, who was standing at the center of the stage with a guitar in his hands, chuckled lightly into the microphone and said, "We'll take requests in a minute, but first we'd like to play a song dedicated to a very special lady."

His fingers moved over the guitar, and the first notes of "Hello, I Love You" by the Doors came out of the speakers. Alice and I started twirling our hips slowly at each other, moving together almost as if we were one being. Soon, we were grinding on each other and staring into each other's eyes. I always felt the most comfortable dancing with Alice because she and I seemed to always know what to do next without speaking.

Jasper, Edward, and Rosalie played a few more songs after that, and after a few minutes I kind of froze in place as I watched Edward. His voice sent chills over my skin, just like the first time I'd heard him only weeks before. It was almost crazy how much he'd changed my life, and I found myself thinking about what it would be like to spend forever with him like Alice and Jasper were going to do with each other.

When they finished their set, Edward all but ran off the stage and scooped me into his arms. He planted tiny pecks all over my face and the top of my chest. The quick movements and the feather-light touch of his kisses tickled me, and I laughed loudly.

"Edward!" I squeaked as I smack his shoulders. "What has gotten into you?"

"You have, my darling. How did I get so lucky to find such a beautiful, intelligent woman to love me? And more so, one who'd throw a punch for me?" he said as he buried his face into my sternum.

"No idea, bub. Come on, let's grab the gang and get on out of here. You have an early rehearsal tomorrow, and I want to have my way with you before we go to sleep." He quickly scooped me up into his arms and walked to the door of the bar. Apparently, he was even more eager than I was.

**(*)(*)(*)(*)**

I woke the next morning to find a note on Edward's pillow and no Edward to be found. The note read:

_Gone to rehearsal. Didn't want to wake you since you looked so peaceful. Meet me at the hall at six tonight so we can go get dinner. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask Maggie or my parents. I love you madly, and I hope you have a good day._

_E_

I blindly rummaged around the nightstand next to me to look for my phone to check the time. It said 10:30, which meant I had a while before I had to meet Edward. I remembered what Alice had said last night about marrying Jasper and knew she'd want to immediately start with the planning, so I decided to get ready quickly and do my duty as best friend of the bride. I jumped up and took a quick shower before blow drying my hair and putting on a little bit of makeup. Walking to the dresser, I pulled out a pair of dark denim jeans and a black T-shirt. I slipped on the shirt and was buttoning up my jeans when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said, and Edward's mother entered.

"Hello, there, dear. How are you this morning?" she asked, a warm smile on her face. She was wearing a simple, navy blue dress, and her hair was set in a ballerina bun at the base of her neck. The only jewelry she wore was a strand of pearls around her neck and her wedding ring. Visions of Jackie O flashed in my head as I gazed upon Esme Cullen.

"I'm fine," I replied. "Did you need something?"

"Nothing at all. I just wanted to stop by and see if you'd mind going to lunch with me. I'd love to get to know the young woman who has my only child so enthralled," she said.

"That sounds fine with me. I just need to check with everyone else and see what they're doing."

"They've left already, actually. Jasper and Rosalie wanted to take Alice and Emmett to their parents' home for introductions and lunch. They decided not to wake you, figuring you'd want to go watch Edward's rehearsal this afternoon."

"Oh, well in that case, I'd love to go to lunch," I said with a smile. On the inside, I was a nervous wreck. _I can see it now… I'll trip and push the Kennedy-esque Mrs. Cullen through a plate glass window._

We ended up at a small café near the apartment that had amazing coffee, which was desperately needed after the past few days I'd had. Esme was pretty quiet until after we ordered, but then the Spanish Inquisition started.

"What are your intentions with my son? Are you using him or trying to get his money? she asked as soon as the waiter walked away. I almost choked on my coffee at her bluntness.

"I assure you, Esme, that I have the best of intentions with Edward. I have plenty of my own money from my book deal, and I'm not using him for anything. I'm absolutely in love with him, and I just want to spend time with him. He's an amazing person," I said, confident I sounded like a rambling fool. Honestly, I was kind of angry at being accused of such a thing.

"He is amazing. He's also sensitive, and he got his heart stomped on by an evil bitch. He also told me you punched said evil bitch in the face yesterday." She winked at me and took a sip of her iced tea. _What the hell is going on here? Is Esme on some kind of medication that makes her switch moods?_

"Yeah, when I saw her hanging all over Edward and the look in his eyes, I kind of lost myself and let the emotions take over. I'm sure it wasn't appropriate." My face was aflame with a furious blush, and I was all of a sudden self-conscious to be blushing in front of elegance personified, even if that elegance changed moods like Two-Face.

"Appropriate doesn't matter in cases like that. If it'd been me, I'd have torn her tits off. Then again, I'm fiercely protective of my son. By the way, I was teasing you earlier. You need to relax, dear." _Esme is kind of a badass, Bella, even if she's confusing the hell out of you right now. You need to get her number in case you're ever in a rumble._

We chatted some more about Edward, and then began talking about my books. Esme apparently was a huge fan, and she kept asking me questions about the book I'd just finished writing. It was a sequel to _Wings on the Summer Wind,_ and I was nervous about it because I'd never even intended for the book to have a sequel. However, the publishers felt like there was more story to tell, and after I got back into that world, I realized they were right. I found myself unable to give vague answers about the plot to Esme because of how connected the second book was to the events of the first book. If she decided to sell my book's secrets on the internet, she'd be able to outline the entire plot, and I would be royally screwed.

When we finished lunch, Esme decided she wanted to take me shopping for a dress for Edward's concert. She swore up and down that events at Juilliard were always incredibly dressy, and she wanted to make sure I was "up to their standards." Honestly, I thought she was just worried I'd wear something too revealing, but I decided not to question her and just go with the flow. After all, I'd done it enough times with Alice.

By 3 PM, Esme and I had found plenty of other clothes but no dresses for the concert. I called Alice, and she and Rosalie met us and helped in our search. We eventually walked along the streets of New York towards the Cullens' apartment, hoping to find a shop or store that had a dress that fit my style and Esme's vision. As we passed Carolina Herrera, I saw the most perfect dress: a strapless gown that was indigo and black at the top and white tulle on the bottom.

"Bella, are you staring at the dress I think you're staring at?" Alice asked as her eyes darted back and forth between me and the dress.

"I think so. It's probably way out of my price range, but it's super gorgeous," I said with a sigh.

"Go try it on. If it fits well, I'll pay for it out of the trust fund money. It's a worthy purchase if you're going to show up that Tanya bitch," Alice responded as she linked her arm in mine and led the way into the shop.

Of course, the dress fit like a dream. The dark coloring on the top made my skin look creamy and perfect, and it hugged the curves of my breasts and hips well.

"Bella, if you don't get that dress, I'll have to kick you out of my apartment. It looks like it was made for you, and you absolutely need to rub your beauty in Tanya's face," Esme said with a bright smile.

Rosalie snickered. "Tanya's gonna flip her shit when she sees you. You have to let me do your hair. I didn't exactly cut her out of my life when she fucked up Edward, but she definitely deserves my wrath now. I found out from Royce's secretary that Tanya slept with him a few months ago."

"What?" squeaked Alice, Esme, and I.

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders. "I figured the thing with Edward was a mistake, especially after she told me how much she missed him and regretted it one very intoxicated night. Then she slept with my husband and proved she was an evil whore."

"I'm getting the dress. Apparently, it's a necessity. I'll even pay for it myself," I said as I turned around and headed back to the dressing room to change into my normal clothes.

By the time we got back to the apartment to put all of the clothes we'd purchased away, it was 4:30. I quickly touched up my makeup and changed my T-shirt and jeans ensemble to a strapless purple mini-dress with white polka dots. I paired the dress with white wedge heels and a wide white headband. _There you go, Bella. Look like the picture of innocence in case you have to square off against the picture of sluttiness._

I caught a cab (with Maggie's assistance) and arrived at the concert hall at exactly 6 PM. As I stepped out of the cab, I was hit with a strong sense of déjà vu. I saw Tanya and Edward speaking to each other on the sidewalk about five feet away from me. Edward looked nervous like he did last night, but I saw that Tanya didn't look as confident and self-assured as she did the night before. I steeled myself in preparation for a confrontation as I walked over to them. After all, I _did_ punch her in the face not twenty four hours ago.

"Hey, baby," I said as I slid my arms around Edward's waist. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Not at all," he replied as he looked at me. "Tanya and I were just discussing some things she needs to work on tonight if she wants to be ready for tomorrow's rehearsal."

I turned towards Tanya and said, "I'm sorry, we weren't properly introduced last night. I'm Bella, Edward's girlfriend." I noticed she didn't look like she had any bruising from the punch I threw last night. That, or she had some super amazing concealer. I extended my hand to her and silently prayed she wouldn't take it and break my fingers.

She took my hand and shook it lightly. "It's nice to meet you. I'm sorry about my rude behavior last night. As I was telling Edward, I'd been drinking a lot before I got to the restaurant, and I wasn't exactly in the clearest of mindframes. I'm lucky you didn't do anything worse than that punch. You throw a hell of a right hook, I must say." Tanya gave me a weak smile and turned to Edward. "I have to get going. You gave me a lot of homework tonight, Mr. Cullen. I hope you both have a lovely evening." She turned and hailed a cab.

Edward sighed as soon as she was out of earshot. "Bella, I've had a hell of a day. Tanya's just as difficult to work with as ever, and it's been really straining trying to be professional with her. I need a drink, and fast."

I pulled him closer to me and gave him a long, passionate kiss. "I think we can do that. Let's go eat, and you can tell me all about how much of a bitch Tanya was, then I can tell you all about my day with your mother."

We hailed a cab and went to a nearby Mediterranean place. Edward seemed really exhausted as he explained all the different ways Tanya was making his life a living hell, including the mentioning of their previous romantic relationship while Edward was giving the soloists notes on things to work on. He was happy to hear about my day with his mom, though, and we ended up having a pleasant dinner.

When we got back to the house, we made love on his bed in slow, deliberate movements. Our eyes stayed connected the entire time, and the love I saw in his gaze, combined with the movements of his hips, gave me the most intense orgasm of my life. He pulled me into a tight embrace when it was over, his strong arms encircling my waist and his hands resting just underneath my breasts. As I drifted off to sleep, I swore I heard Edward say, "I wish you were my wife," but I could have been wrong.

* * *

**A/N:** Title comes from the poem "In Progress" by Christina Rossetti.

Voldemort is the big baddie in the Harry Potter series. Ralph Fiennes plays him wonderfully in the films.

"Hello, I Love You" is one of my favorite Doors songs to dance to. I've been a huge Doors fan since I was thirteen.

Shout out to Edwardville! You guys are still so wonderful and supportive! And thank you so much to everyone who has pimped out my story or recommended it somewhere. You guys are wonderful.


	26. Chapter 26: I Can Hear the Bells

Thanks to Robbie and Mac214 for their beta lovin'.

Follow me on Twitter! My name is **rhpsfaerie** there, too.

I have a new story! It's called _**Steel and Butterflies**_. It has a prologue and the first chapter posted already. Link:** http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6188855/1/Steel_and_Butterflies**

Just remove the (dot) and replace it with, well, dots!

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. All Stephenie's.

* * *

**B POV**

The next morning I woke to find Edward had already gone to rehearsal. He again left me a note on his pillow. This one read:

_I have rehearsal until 8 tonight. I can't wait until the performance is over tomorrow so I can actually spend time with you in New York. Alice is waiting for you in the kitchen with breakfast and a wedding planning itinerary. I love you, my angel. I'll see you tonight._

_Love, E_

I smiled and buried my face to Edward's pillow, inhaling his scent and thinking about what he said last night. I absolutely _knew_ I'd heard him say he wanted me to be his wife. I couldn't get the thought out of my head. It made me excited and scared shitless at the same time knowing Edward wanted _me._

After a few more whiffs of Eau de Edward from the pillow, I decided to put all of the getting married thoughts out of my head. I mean, he probably thought I was asleep when he said it, so it didn't really count as an admission. I showered, put on a little makeup, threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and went to the kitchen to meet Alice.

The second she saw me, she jumped up, her mouth moving a mile a minute. "Okay, Bells, we have to pick out a dress – at Vera Wang, of course! – and figure out flowers and your maid of honor dress and what the guys are gonna wear and – "

"Alice, breathe," I interrupted. "First of all, when do you want to do this wedding?"

"We're getting married here, in New York, in four days. We want to get it done and go on our honeymoon when you guys go home," she said, her face positively neon it was glowing so brightly. She was so happy, and her excitement made me smile.

"Sweetie pie, that's a little soon, don't you think? Also, won't your mom want to come?" I asked.

"Mom will get over it. Besides, she'll understand. She knows how I am, and she'll realize I won't want to wait to marry the most amazing man ever just because of a few things like proximity to the family. I'll call her tonight to tell her and give her the option, but I doubt that she'll take me up on it. I'm kind of bummed Charlie won't be here, though."

"Yeah, he'll be bummed, too. He thinks of you like his second daughter. He probably would have insisted on walking you down the aisle."

"I would have loved that. He's the only father figure I have. Bella, we need to get Charlie here!" she exclaimed, her panicked mien odd given her usual cheerfulness

"I'll get on it," I said with a laugh as I went back to Edward's room to call my father. After explaining the whole situation and reminding him of Alice's impulsive nature, he agreed to fly to New York for her wedding. Alice was listening to my side of the conversation with bated breath.

When I hung up, I turned to her and said, "He's coming. He's about to arrange for the days off and is going to drive to Portland to day before the wedding catch a flight here."

Alice jumped into my arms and screeched, "I'm so excited!"

I laughed at her and slid out of her embrace. "Come on, girlfriend, we have a wedding to plan."

(*)(*)(*)(*)

Six hours later Alice and I had picked out her dress, my dress, the tuxedos for Jasper, Edward, and Charlie, and the wedding rings. We weren't quite sure what to do about flowers since we didn't know the city very well, so we called Esme and Rosalie and had them meet us so they could help in our search. When we called, they were at Rosalie's parents' house with Jasper and Emmett, but they decided to come help us anyway because, as Rosalie said, "This place is sucking my soul out of my anus."

When we finally met up with them at the Cullens' apartment, Esme said to us, "I know exactly where we need to go. What kind of flowers do you have in mind?"

With that prompting, Alice was off, going a mile a minute with her vision of the perfect wedding flowers. Rosalie and I looked at each other and laughed. By now Rosalie was well-versed in the ways of Alice, and she knew _exactly_ what poor Esme had gotten herself into.

As Esme and Alice led our pack and discussed the merits of baby's breath in a bouquet, Rosalie asked me, "How's Edward doing?"

"He seems okay. Why do you ask?" I was kind of concerned about the reasoning behind Rosalie's worries. She'd seen Edward almost as much as I had in the past couple of days and she'd never shown that she had any concerns.

"Tanya's not exactly the easiest person to deal with when you're on good terms with her. I figure she'd be making his life hell at the rehearsals, given all of their history."

"She was trying, I think, but it seems like Edward's finally standing up for himself." I smiled at her, hoping to convey that Edward really did seem okay to me.

"It's because of you, you know," she said, almost as if it were an afterthought. After a pause, she continued. "I've never seen him this happy. As much as he says his one true love is music, he never seemed truly happy with his life unless he was on a stage. Now I see him with you, and he just seems so… buoyant and full of life. You've changed him, Bella, and definitely for the better."

I could feel the blush spreading across my cheekbones. "I don't exactly know about that. I do know I love him madly and he makes me insanely happy."

Rosalie grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Good. I'm excited for you both. Maybe we'll be planning _your _wedding soon!"

_You have no idea how close to right you might be, Rose. No idea._

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**E POV**

"Again, Tanya! The melismas are sounding sloppy, especially since the violins are so crisp. Thank you so much, guys," I said with a smile to my violin section.

Tanya looked at me, her ice blue eyes pleading with me. "I need a break, Edward. Please?"

I looked at the rest of the orchestra and the other soloists. They all looked at me with indifference. Finally I sighed, "Sure. Everyone, be back here in 15!"

The orchestra set their instruments down on their chairs and left the hall in almost complete silence. The other soloists followed suit, leaving only myself and Tanya on the stage. We stared at each other, both willing the other to be the first to break the silence. After a few more moments of glaring, Tanya inhaled sharply and began yelling.

"What the fuck is your problem, Edward? Everything out of your mouth is a criticism of me. If you don't want me here, call the understudy and have her sing the part!" she screamed, her arms waving wildly.

"Tanya, I'm just trying to give you some constructive criticism. If you don't like my ideas, don't accept them. However, as the composer of the piece, I feel I'm entitled to a little bit of input on how the notes are translated in the performance. Besides, this piece was written for someone incredibly special, and if you perform it less than perfectly, it won't convey the right message," I replied, my voice calm and even.

After a moment of choking, uncomfortable silence, Tanya looked me square in the eye. "This is for her, isn't it? The brunette who punched me?"

"Yes," I said, my voice suddenly very quiet. "She helped me find the music again after you took it from me. She's amazing and wonderful and everything you aren't. Why wouldn't I write for her?" _And why do you fucking care?_

"I know you don't believe me, Edward, but I really am sorry for how I treated you. I did what I thought I had to in order to get ahead in my career. When I look back, I see I didn't have to hurt you. I really did love you… as much as I'm capable of, anyway." Tanya looked away from me, and I could see in her expression that she was thinking about something. I'd never seen her look so sad, so pained. It made me wonder if she really meant what she'd said, or if she'd just gotten that much better at deceiving people.

"I don't know if I can believe you, Tanya. What you did hurt like hell. I gave up music – my one true passion in life – for _five years_ because of you. I couldn't compose because of you. It all hurt too much. I've finally gotten it all back, and here you are trying to make a mess of things. I know you begged to be here just to see me, didn't you?" She gave me a small nod, and I continued. "Why can't you just let it all go and leave me alone? Are you trying to make sure I'm never happy?" My voice had risen to almost a yell, and I was having a hard time controlling my urge to throw the rehearsal chairs around. Who did she think she was? Why the fuck did she feel the need to make _my_ life so fucking complicated?

"That's not it at all, Edward. I just wanted to apologize. I know you'll never forgive me, especially after all the humiliation I put you through. I know you did a lot of things you weren't comfortable with because of me."

"Yeah, because I stupidly thought it would make you happy. I was so disgusted with myself. It took me a long time to realize the person I should have been disgusted with was you. You used me." I turned away from her because if I had to look at her for a second longer, I would have done something I would have regretted.

"I know I did. And I'm a horrible person for it. Believe it or not, I've changed, Edward. This business has taught me I need to surround myself with positive people because they're the ones who stick by you when things go wrong. I chased all of my positive people away. Even recently, I ruined my friendship with Rose by sleeping with her husband. I'm trying to learn how to do things right, and I still fuck up everything." She sounded like she was sniffling, and when I turned around, I saw the tears running down her cheeks, her blue eyes brightened by the moisture in them.

"Tanya… don't cry," I said, my anger completely neutralized by the sight of her crying. Never once in all the time I'd known her had she cried. She didn't even cry when her mother died. Yet here she was, sobbing as she sat down in one of the rehearsal chairs.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm sorry for being so horrible to you. I'm sorry for all of the horrible things I've done, and I can't do anything to take them back. God, I wish I could take it back." Her entire body shook with the force of her sobs.

I sat down in the chair next to her and hesitantly put my hand on her shoulder. "All you can do is try your best to be a good person. You can't change the past, but you can change your present and future. It's all on you, though, whether to make the changes permanent. Now, the orchestra and the other soloists will be here in a few minutes, and I don't want them thinking we can't get along. Let's go over some of the things I want you to look at while you dry your eyes. You think you can sing?" She nodded. "Good."

I showed her a few vocal lines I wanted her to sing a little lighter so the notes moved more easily. She seemed to understand why I wanted them sung that way after I explained and was even able to give me a smile as the instrumentalists and other vocalists came back into the room. After that, the rehearsal ran really smoothly, and she and I had agreed to a truce.

When the rehearsal was over, I was exhausted and ready to fall into bed and just sleep. I called Bella, and after a few minutes we both decided it would be best to just stay in for the night. I caught a cab and almost fell asleep as it drove me to my parents' apartment. As I paid the driver, I wondered what Bella had done all day. I also found myself wondering something I hadn't thought of the entire day: did she hear me last night?

I'd whispered to her I wanted her to be my wife. It was out of impulse, really. I was sure she'd been asleep. Still, I couldn't help but hope she had heard it. Once the words had left my mouth, I knew I meant them with every fiber of my being. She was the one who brought me back to life when I didn't think it possible, and she loved me so much. And I loved her just as much, too. If she gave me any indication marriage was something she wanted with me, I would buy the ring as soon as humanly possible.

The second I opened the door to the apartment, I heard a chorus of female laughter from the direction of the kitchen. When I turned the corner of the living room, I saw my mother, Alice, Bella, Rosalie, and Maggie all eating ice cream and sitting at the island in the center of the kitchen. There were papers and pictures all over it, and Alice was furiously writing things down.

I walked in and asked, "What's all the cackling for?" as I put my arms around Bella's waist. She leaned back into me and sighed contently.

"We're planning Alice's wedding," my mother said with a gentle smile. "She's decided she wants to get married in four days while everyone's already in New York."

"Oh, I see," I said with a laugh. "And she needs all of you to help?"

"No, she needs all of us to mock her while she's concentrating on it all. She's so serious," Rosalie said before shoving a bite of chocolate ice cream into her mouth.

"Well, in Alice's defense, she _is_ planning a wedding in like three days," Bella said. She snuggled a little closer to me, her head leaning against my right shoulder.

"Thanks, Bells," Alice murmured as she continued to jot down notes.

"As much as I'd love to continue this conversation, I've had a long day. I'm going to eat something and go to bed." I let go of Bella and walked around the island to the refrigerator.

"Don't even bother looking, dearie. Miss Bella here made you something, and it's keeping warm over there," Maggie said, nodding her head in the direction of the oven. I went to the oven, opened it, and found myself a plate of fettuccine alfredo with garlic bread on the side. I took it out of the oven and set the plate down next to Bella's stool.

The girls kept talking wedding shop while I sat next to Bella, eating the pasta she had cooked for me. Every few minutes, I'd look over to her and smile, silently showing my appreciation for her thoughtfulness. She smiled back every time, her deep brown eyes sparkling with love and joy.

"Come on, guys, it's not like you haven't planned your weddings in your heads for years and years," Alice said in a huff.

"Actually, dear Alice, all of us here have played the role of bride except for our lovely Isabella," Rosalie said with a wink to me.

"Yeah, Al, and I totally wouldn't be freaking out about the planning like you are. I'd definitely go the simple route," Bella responded as she put her arm around my shoulder. "That way Eddie here wouldn't have to shoot me with tranquilizer darts to get me calm enough to actually walk down the aisle."

Her words were exactly what I wanted to hear. She actually saw herself marrying me. Now the ball was in my court, and I definitely needed to do something about it while here in New York. I figured that with the romantic buzz surrounding us because of Alice and Jasper's wedding that it would be the perfect time. Maybe after the concert…

"Except Edward hasn't asked you," Rosalie countered.

"He'll ask if and when he's ready, Rose. You know how our Edward can be: he thinks things through without letting irrational emotion get in the way," my mother said as she leaned over and patted my hand.

I looked at the five women around me and saw they were all staring at me. I wasn't sure what they were expecting, except maybe for me to drop on one knee and propose to Bella right then and there.

It wasn't going to happen, though. I made my decision in that moment to propose to Bella after my concert. I wanted her to first see, or rather hear, my love for her in the music before I gave her a ring. I also made sure to plan a trip to Tiffany's for tomorrow during my lunch break.

(-)(-)(-)(-)

**B POV**

Edward had been acting weird. In fact, I could pinpoint exactly when he started acting weird. He'd come home to find me, Alice, Rosalie, Esme, and Maggie knee-deep in wedding planning. When the conversation turned to the idea of him proposing to me, he acted very nonchalant about it, and I couldn't help but worry. I knew I'd heard him say he wanted me to be his wife, but his demeanor hadn't changed at all. He was still the same sweet, playful Edward, and I was confused.

What made me even more nervous was that he was spending his every waking moment with Tanya. I knew Edward still harbored a lot of resentment toward her because of what had happened between them, but I also knew Tanya was manipulative and determined when she wanted something. I was just praying that right now, she didn't want Edward. I was pretty sure another fight would not exactly look good for me.

Luckily, my worrying about Edward and my assistance in planning Alice's wedding helped me forget about James. I figured with Edward, Emmett, and Charlie around, James wasn't going to be able to get near me. And even if he did, I now knew I could take him in a fight. The only thing that bothered me was that dream from long ago when he had a gun. It made me realize if James ever did approach me with a gun, I was fucked, since I didn't carry one. I made a note to myself to mention it to Emmett so we could figure out the protocol to get a license to carry one in the state of California.

On the day of the concert, Edward was, of course, still rehearsing. I was about to leave the house with Alice that morning to pick up a couple of wedding things when my cell phone rang. The caller ID showed it was Angela from my publishing company.

"Hello?" I answered. I was actually glad to be talking to Angela for once. I'd finished the book, and it felt like a weight had been lifted off me.

"Hello, Bella. I'm calling to ask how the book is going. How much longer do you think it will be before you send us the manuscript?" she asked, her voice cheerful and pleasant. Granted, Angela's voice was always cheerful and pleasant.

"I finished it a couple of days ago. I'm also in New York right now, so if you want, I can print it out really quickly and bring it to you. I'm not going to have enough time to bind it, though," I said as I went back to Edward's room. I turned on my computer and waited for it to load my files for the new book.

"That'll be fine. Really, I'm sure it'd be okay for you to e-mail the files, since you'll be turning it in a little bit ahead of the new schedule we've set for you. Do whatever you want."

"Actually, I'm think I'm going to print it out after all and take it to get it bound. I'm sure Alice will forgive me for cancelling our plans. You'll have it tomorrow," I said as I looked around Edward's room for a printer.

"Sounds great, Bella. Have a good day!" Angela said, her sentence punctuated by the click of the telephone.

I quickly explained to Alice what was going on, and then set out to find a printer. I couldn't find one in Edward's room, so I picked up my laptop and its power cord and wandered around his parents' apartment look for one. I came upon a room that had bookshelves lining every wall. A large desk was in the center of the room, and behind the desk sat Carlisle, reading a newspaper. He looked up the second I entered the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt, Carlisle. I was looking for a printer. I need to take my manuscript to get bound so I can turn it into the publisher," I said, my words rushing out of my mouth like water. There was something about the Cullen men, apparently, that made me unable to keep my mouth shut.

"It's no interruption. Come on in. I'm afraid the only printer in the house is in here, but since your computer is a laptop, I don't think it'll be any trouble to hook it up," he said with a kind smile.

I set the computer down on his desk and found an electrical outlet to plug the power cord into as Carlisle located the printer installation disk. When he did, he handed it to me, and I inserted it to start the process.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "So, Bella, how has your trip been so far?"

"I've enjoyed it a lot. I've missed Edward while he's been in rehearsals, though," I responded as I sat down in one of the leather chairs in front of the desk.

"I'm afraid that'd be my fault. Ever since he was young, I always tried to instill a 'practice makes perfect' mentality in my son. He resented me a lot for it, I think, when he was a kid. He was home schooled so he could devote enough hours to his musical studies to make him as magnificent as he is now. It wasn't until he brought Jasper home for the first time, excited he had his first friend, that I realized I made a few mistakes along the way," Carlisle said as he leaned back in his chair. He looked kind of wistful, and I wondered if he'd ever told Edward any of this.

"I'm sure if you explained your reasoning he'd forgive you," I said, even though I wasn't quite sure if it was the right thing to say.

"Too much time has passed. It's too late."

"It's never too late," I said. "Talk to him. He'll understand. He's the most understanding person I know."

Carlisle smiled. "He's lucky to have you, Miss Swan. You're pretty understanding yourself. Now, let's get this manuscript printed. You have a concert to get ready for tonight."

Carlisle and I sat there, reading the newspaper, as we waited for my manuscript to print. As we waited, I thought more about the magnificent man who loved me and how Carlisle was wrong. After everything I'd been through, I was lucky to have him.

* * *

**A/N:** Title comes from the song "I Can Hear the Bells" from the musical _Hairspray._

Another chapter with no references! It's either a miracle or a sign that I need to watch more movies and listen to more music.

Review, if you so wish.


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